FML's Showdown #14 By Louis - 21/06/2017 21:30 Another stand off, pick your fave! I agree, your life sucks 321 You deserved it 126 Share Tweet Share
Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 972 You deserved it 147
Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 553 You deserved it 25 469
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my electric piano. It seems my cat is Mozart's reincarnation and, after finding out how to turn the piano on, decided that 3 a.m. is a good time to practice. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 040 You deserved it 480
Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 19 297 You deserved it 29 845
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "Sexual health products." Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML I agree, your life sucks 74 675 You deserved it 6 317
Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 616 You deserved it 5 565
I like #1