Crystal Ball Cat By FML Approved - 31/10/2017 03:00 Now stop trying to touch my belly and just go away! I agree, your life sucks 464 You deserved it 127 Share Tweet Share
Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 243 You deserved it 215
Today, my boss fired me for dating a co-worker. There's no policy forbidding it; he just thought it was unfair that I could get with the "hottest girl who works here" but he can't. I live in an at-will employment state. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 671 You deserved it 3 286
Today, I noticed that the roommate application site for college bugged when I first signed up, and my screen name and real name were swapped as a result. Since the site only displays the names of potential roommates and not our own, I've been unknowingly messaging potential roommates as Parakeet19 for about 2 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 522 You deserved it 268
Today, I've known for a long time that I generally only wake up at ungodly hours in the night when something is wrong with me. Since last week, I've been doing this pretty much every night. Only now, I can't figure out what's wrong. Consequently, my anxiety is now keeping me awake too. FML I agree, your life sucks 822 You deserved it 183
Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML I agree, your life sucks 561 You deserved it 113
Today, after I finally joined a gym, I was feeling pretty good until I attempted to use a machine I'd never seen before. After 10 minutes of awkwardly pressing random buttons and trying to figure out how it worked, the instructor walked over and asked if I needed help. I had been on the rowing machine, trying to use it as a leg press. FML I agree, your life sucks 128 You deserved it 513