Alpha top dog - FML

Alpha top dog

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was meeting my daughter's boyfriend and I joked I’d have to show him who was boss around here (my wife, without a doubt) but as a 5”8 man I have no idea how to intimidate a 6”11, 20 year-old who looks like he was born in a gym. My wife won’t stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

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Same thing different taste

Size isn't everything!

By Franklin - 18/12/2017 19:00

Today, I attempted to threaten my daughter's boyfriend to keep him from breaking her heart. I'm a 230-pound former soldier. He's a karate black belt. My family watched me get beat up by a 120-pound teenager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 355

You deserved it 7 969

I'm not a kid

By Babyface - 02/09/2021 20:01

Today, I've come to accept that I'll likely never be intimidating or taken seriously, because despite being 6'3" and 205 lbs, I have the face of a 12 year-old. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 138

Sit down, old man

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 22:00

Today, my husband is sulking because our daughter's first boyfriend is a rugby-playing giant he can’t scare away with the standard father's threat of a good beating unless he treats our daughter well. I married a real idiot manchild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 305

Baby girl

By Strawberry Shortcake - 30/11/2024 06:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, someone thought I was my boyfriend's daughter, instead of his girlfriend. I'm 4'11", he's 6'2", and this has happened four times already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 146

Pesky kids

By Albert79 - 28/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was on a video call with my boss and some clients. Everything was going smoothly until my 3-year-old son walked in wearing my wife’s high heels and started running circles around me, yelling, “Look at me, I’m a queen!” My boss and clients were visibly confused, and all I could do was laugh nervously, and hope it'll never be mentioned again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 150

Love is blind

By HeartbrokenMom - 18/11/2022 12:00

Today, I found out my daughter is tolerating abuse from her boyfriend, all because, “He’s 6’4, has dark hair, and green eyes.” Apparently, that outweighs him treating her like shit. I don’t know what else to tell her to convince her to leave him, or it’s a matter of time before I see her in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 144

By Black Cat 13 - 04/09/2010 06:52 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 155

You deserved it 3 517

Zing!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2022 14:00

Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 2 143

Dethroned short King

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 00:00

Today, I was on a first date. I asked her what she brought to the table since I’m a pretty well established guy. A voice in the booth behind me yelled out, “How bout a booster seat, Smurf!” Everyone laughed so hard I got up and left. I’m 5ft3 and bitches always make it about my height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 940

Better Call Small

By not-so-young-shortie - 18/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He's 6'2 and I'm 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 958

You deserved it 5 105

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 688

You deserved it 4 977

Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 416

You deserved it 16 506

Today, I smoked weed with my girlfriend and we ordered some Chinese food. I was too high to open the box and she watched me struggle for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 670

Today, I was late for class and I had to run to catch my bus, which only stops near our house twice a day. I made it to the doors just as they closed, and the bus drove away… with my sweaty reflection staring back at me in the moving bus door window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 155

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 469

You deserved it 2 776

Today, a colleague was telling me she still breastfeeds her 4 year-old son, and that she has breastfed kids of her neighbours too. She kept talking about it and I ended up staring at her ample breasts. She noticed and asked me if I wanted too. Now I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 289