Nearly FML

By DArK DUdE - 05/12/2017 05:13

Today I watched my gf make a sims world where her and her "friend" are husband and wife. FML

agreeclassic 98

vote type 1 7

By Dani - 05/12/2017 05:05

Today my boyfriend found out that I use his shower towel as my cum towel after sex... today I also found out that he uses my shower towel when we run out of toilet paper... FML

agreeclassic 27

vote type 1 112

By awkwardteen - 05/12/2017 02:16

Today, my younger sister was allowed to go out with her friends even though she threw a huge fit yesterday, including punching the wall and threatening to move out. Meanwhile, I got in trouble the other day for moving a spoon. FML.

agreeclassic 102

vote type 1 11

By Anonymous - 05/12/2017 02:14

Today my dog decided he was going to go play with the cows in the field beside my house.. after calling back home I find that a cow has taken a huge dump on my dog. it only took 4 washes to get him back to his original color which is white... fml

agreeclassic 86

vote type 1 8

By Anonymous - 05/12/2017 00:37

Today I finally got the news that my landlord will replace my mattress which sags. Sadly, I have to wait for several months. I have back pain and haven't slept well for weeks. FML

agreeclassic 73

vote type 1 9

By Anonymous - 05/12/2017 00:01 - South Africa

Today , my life has reached the point where , after taking a shower (because the bath doesn't work) I need to air out my towel to make sure there are no cockroaches in it before I can even use it. FML

agreeclassic 81

vote type 1 16

By FutureEngineer - 04/12/2017 13:42 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I had to explain to my Intro to Biology professor that no, there is no blood type 'C'. FML.

agreeclassic 86

vote type 1 8

By two2blue - 04/12/2017 19:30

Today, we ran loud industrial fans to deal with a flooded ground floor. I was snoozing peacefully in the quiet car in the garage when my mom woke me up at 2 am yelling and crying because me sleeping in the car embarrassed her. FML

agreeclassic 4 158

vote type 1 335

two2blue app_comment_confession_title

two2blue 28

Friday 1 December 2017 22:23

OP here. Nope, car was off, car window and garage window both slightly open. She thought sleepimg in the car was "trashy".

By ram ranch really rocks! - 04/12/2017 19:02

Today, I was airdropping just random shit to everyone in my class. My teacher must have turned on her airdrop because she asked the whole class who sent her a picture of a half-naked cowboy in a tanktop. FML

agreeclassic 32

vote type 1 98

By INeedANewJob - 04/12/2017 10:00 - United States

Today, when I showed them a project I'd completed ahead of schedule, my surprised Associate Director and Division Director said, "Oh, we went with something else because we didn't know you were working on that." They assigned it to me. I work for idiots. FML

agreeclassic 2 696

vote type 1 148

By Anonymous - 04/12/2017 18:41

Today was my birthday. At my place of work, we all sign birthday cards for the person's birthday and place it on their desk. Since my birthday is the last one of the year, I've signed everyone else's in our 5 person office...I got no card. FML

agreeclassic 99

vote type 1 6

By stoner - 04/12/2017 15:45

Today, a nearby skunk farted and it's scent managed to sneak through the open window in my bathroom. My mom came in and thinks i've been smoking weed. I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

agreeclassic 95

vote type 1 9

By Dan - 04/12/2017 11:59

Today, I had a checkup to have a docor clean and review a wart-removal surgery I had on my finger last week. My fingernail is dead and needs to be removed, my fingerpad is numb due to a damaged nerve, and the wart is already growing back. FML.

agreeclassic 94

vote type 1 7

By "axon Impulse" - 04/12/2017 03:17 - United States - Shreveport

Today, after accepting my offer on my new dream job, I got a phone call explaining that there was some administrative confusion and my position was dissolved. I already quit my other job and they've already replaced me. FML

agreeclassic 100

vote type 1 10

By LiliDS - 04/12/2017 01:13

Today, I quit my job, left friends and my city to move in with my boyfriend on the other side of the world. I got dumped the moment I arrived. FML.

agreeclassic 99

vote type 1 14

By z guy - 03/12/2017 23:57

Today... I finally replaced my car which I had owned for a week before it was totaled by Hurricane Harvey. While driving it home after three hours I made it to my house and promptly hydroplaned into the neighbors yard and totaled my second car... FML

agreeclassic 70

vote type 1 22

By Lefty - 03/12/2017 19:04

Today I was feeling a little queasy after having surgery on my wrist, so I decided to lay down for a nap with my dog. I later woke up to the smell of vomit, but it wasn't mine. I had to stuff the dog-puke covered blankets into the washing machine one-handed. FML.

agreeclassic 64

vote type 1 9

By anonym - 03/12/2017 18:19 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I woke up needing to pee badly. But my roommate was blocking the bathroom. When I couldn't wait any longer, I went to the public bathroom at the dorm only wearing my pyjamas. Multiple people saw me. My roomie left the bathroom two hours later. I have to live with her for three more years. FML

agreeclassic 68

vote type 1 11

By Anonymous - 03/12/2017 17:58

Today, I got an email saying I'm qualified for a job I applied for a few months ago, but that they still weren't going to interview me. FML

agreeclassic 73

vote type 1 4

By Anon - 03/12/2017 05:12 - United States - Fairbanks

Today I realized that despite losing weight, figuring out fashion, and being involved in community clubs and hobbies....it's been nearly four years since a guy has shown interest me. FML

agreeclassic 73

vote type 1 9

By Single struggle - 03/12/2017 14:06

Today, I realize how single and lonely I am after crying uncontrollably when watching Fifty Shades of Grey at home. FML.

agreeclassic 59

vote type 1 11

By Welp - 03/12/2017 12:54

Today I found out that I have high cholesterol levels. I've been vegan for close to 10 years. FML.

agreeclassic 69

vote type 1 45

By "Caci Johnson" - 03/12/2017 06:26

While visiting NYC, my feet were killing me after walking around the city for 8 hours, so I decided to sit down for a little while. A few minutes later, I was approached by a couple gentleman who had thrown change in my lap. Apparently, they thought I was homeless.

agreeclassic 78

vote type 1 9

By Wellllthen - 03/12/2017 06:14

Today after 3 years of marriage, my husband tells me he is not ready to settle down and wants to play the field. I moved states away from my friends and family for him and just started a new job. Fml

agreeclassic 95

vote type 1 10

By "Ryuuchild666" - 03/12/2017 01:55

Today, I do the laundry for a hotel. My coworker who works overnight has been telling me to leave her towels to fold so she has something to do at night, has now complained that I have been leaving her to much to do. This is the same woman who refuses to do sheets cause they are "too heavy"...FML

agreeclassic 83

vote type 1 6

By Broken_glass - 03/12/2017 00:44

Today my friend and I had a heated argument. He was so upset that he punched my window and shattered the glass everywhere. I now have a huge gaping hole. It's winter, and I live in Canada. FML.

agreeclassic 89

vote type 1 8

By BoredStudent87 - 03/12/2017 00:25

Today I had to go to the hospital. While there, I discovered I have mono and won't be able to get out of bed for the next week. My teachers refuse to give me extensions and expect me to hand in all of my homework for the next week on Monday. FML

agreeclassic 78

vote type 1 8

By sad Mom - 02/12/2017 22:24

Today my dad berated me almost to the point of tears. I was called a bad mother told I was raising my daughter all wrong and that I would regret her lifestyle in years to come. Why? My two year old wasn’t wearing clothes in the living room. Fml

agreeclassic 90

vote type 1 15

By Anonymous - 02/12/2017 21:30

Today, while I was at the doctor's office with my first grader for his unending high fever, the school was frantically trying to reach me to tell me about my fourth grader's concussion. FML

agreeclassic 96

vote type 1 9

By Narci96 - 02/12/2017 13:21 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, for the first time ever, I was complimented on my brown eyes by the guy I have a crush on: "Your eyes look like wood. But not like regular wood, you know, more like rotten, dead wood." FML

agreeclassic 87

vote type 1 4

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I was ordered by our higher boss to buy 15 boxes of pizza for our even higher boss's birthday party. As I called his favorite pizza place to order, I was told to "FUCK OFF!!!" and was blatantly hung-up upon. When I tried to call again, the company number is now barred. Of all the days, it had to be April 1st. FML

agreeclassic 468

vote type 1 118

Today, after going to the clinic for my hormone therapy, I decided to go to the mall. I went into the ladies' room to pee, and I heard a guy asking if there was anyone in there who shouldn't be. Yeah, someone called security on me. FML

agreeclassic 825

vote type 1 1 262

Today, the evening phone conversations with my boyfriend, after I finished all my tasks, used to be the one thing I would be looking forward to all day. It would keep me going. Now, they feel like one more task, one more box to check before I can truly relax. FML

agreeclassic 499

vote type 1 225

Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML

agreeclassic 57 556

vote type 1 3 382

Today, my new bikini must be cheap as shit because I tanned nicely where I put on sunscreen, but where I didn’t apply it under the bikini I’ve gotten super red sunburn on my butt, my lady bits, and my boobs. My nipples look like the ends of red felt tip pens. FML

agreeclassic 4 649

vote type 1 843

Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML

agreeclassic 17 898

vote type 1 19 375