Work

By YankeeDoodle - 04/03/2010 05:30 - Australia

Today, I discovered my employer is advertising for a contractor position within my team performing basically the same role as myself. Except the pay is seven times more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 642

You deserved it 2 072

By Anonymous - 02/03/2010 14:45 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 829

You deserved it 8 578

By militiousroflcopter - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 275

You deserved it 24 133

By themanontheright - 01/03/2010 20:50 - United States

Today, my boss was using my computer and tried to copy and paste a website URL. It must not have copied first, because it pasted a URL to a porn site. I think I should start looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 792

You deserved it 38 985

By uwbeautyqueen12 - 01/03/2010 19:15 - United States

Today, I woke up on the floor after I fell asleep last night while counting my tips. The pennies stuck to my face and left large blue circles from the copper. The blue won't come off. I have my senior photos today. My appointment can't be rescheduled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 721

You deserved it 6 586

By theoneguyinky - 01/03/2010 14:48 - United States

Today, I was building new fixtures at work. As I assembled the top holding bar on the second section, my boss came up and smacked it to try and scare me. She knocked the top holding bar, which is made of steel, onto my head, and then all the sections went on to fall like dominoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 586

You deserved it 1 970

theoneguyinky tells us more.

theoneguyinky 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 0:03

It didn't hurt me, just stung for a bit, needless to say I let her fix the mess and walked off to do something else. And to answer everyone's question, no, she is not hot.

By dangit - 01/03/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I was wearing my favorite silk sweater, one I actually paid full price for. I sat down in my desk chair to work, and when I tried to get up I felt a strange pull. A corner of my sweater is still stuck in the screw at the back of the chair, the rest is in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 419

You deserved it 3 600

By Ben - 01/03/2010 03:46 - United States

Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 039

You deserved it 17 404

By Renesmeekuhnell - 28/02/2010 16:00 - Denmark

Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 221

You deserved it 2 982

By mcfaily - 27/02/2010 20:45 - Canada

Today, I arrived at work to find an email from the manager whom I had bought concert tickets from the night before. He said he had actually sold those tickets to someone else. He still expects to be paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 841

You deserved it 2 408

By Anon - 27/02/2010 16:07 - United States

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 730

You deserved it 2 942

Way to be creepy

By Shoe - 27/02/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 949

You deserved it 40 225

**** up

By bun593 - 27/02/2010 01:52 - United States

Today, I gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. I was surprised by how attentive they were until I went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 414

You deserved it 16 319

By hatemyjob - 25/02/2010 22:29 - United States

Today, I was working as a cashier at a restaurant. When I receive $50 and $100 bills I am required to have a manager check to make sure they are not counterfeit. Every manager I found yelled at me to find another manager because they were busy. Frustrated, I just accepted the bill. It was fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 589

You deserved it 6 690

By Herman - 25/02/2010 00:57 - France

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 919

You deserved it 5 807

By richgirl - 25/02/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 176

You deserved it 4 572

By Anonymous - 24/02/2010 14:20 - Israel

Today, after months of searching I finally got a job interview. Too bad I didn't have enough money to buy a bus ticket to get there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 319

You deserved it 4 264

By argh - 24/02/2010 06:29 - Canada

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 556

You deserved it 2 253

By synn - 24/02/2010 05:19 - Singapore

Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 579

You deserved it 3 122

By Anonymous - 23/02/2010 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered everyone at work refers to me as 'The Man-Lady'. I work in a supermarket's beauty department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 601

You deserved it 3 392

Reminder

By Cromwel620 - 23/02/2010 11:52 - United States

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 305

You deserved it 3 261

By meaganlea - 23/02/2010 05:17 - Canada

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 040

You deserved it 6 108

What?

By Patrick - 23/02/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year-old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 061

You deserved it 7 450

By Nik - 20/02/2010 15:05 - United States

Today, I found out that my mother was having an affair with my boss "to help me keep my job" because she thought I was useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 687

You deserved it 2 678

By underachiever - 20/02/2010 07:29 - Australia

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 037

You deserved it 3 950

By monochromatic - 20/02/2010 03:13 - United States

Today, I found out that the 20% pay cut that the "management team" took at my job really only applied to... me. I also found out that my closest friend at work has been lying to me about it, and telling my boss everything I say. His pay was never cut. I guess it pays to be the boss's snitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 109

You deserved it 2 517

By prisonbitch - 18/02/2010 17:41 - United States

Today, after five different interviews, I got an offer for a great job. I was excited to fill out paperwork and get the ball rolling, until they called and said that I didn't pass the criminal background check. I get off probation in less than a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 243

You deserved it 38 675

By Anonymous - 17/02/2010 16:32 - Canada

Today, while serving a rather large party at the restaurant where I work, I mentioned that the soup of the day was "to die for". After the hosts gave me weird looks, it dawned on me that the reason they were wearing all black is because they've just come back from a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 904

You deserved it 11 714

By ugamayne - 17/02/2010 12:50 - United States

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 680

You deserved it 3 116

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 123

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 112

You deserved it 5 909

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 511

You deserved it 3 057

Today, I learned that my girlfriend prefered being fully under the blanket during our first time to avoid being cold and to save electricity. This would've been completely fine by me if she didn't have IBS. Done the math yet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 175

Today, I learned it is in fact possible to give birth despite having had no symptoms of pregnancy, including no weight gain. Our daughter made a surprise appearance this morning at 6 lbs exactly, and we are in no way ready. We don’t even have clothes for her. My husband is acting like he’s been concussed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 871

You deserved it 367

Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 361

You deserved it 3 375