Miscellaneous

By sadcartoons - 12/02/2011 18:57 - Canada

Today, my son and I attended my mother's funeral. It was the first time he'd been to such an event, so to ease his grief and distract him, I turned on Max and Ruby when we got home. He quickly broke into tears; apparently, it was the episode where Max and Ruby prepare their grandma a special birthday gift. FML

agreeclassic 37 157

vote type 1 5 070

By savanna(: - 12/02/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML

agreeclassic 28 125

vote type 1 17 860

By courtbabbbby - 12/02/2011 06:30 - United States

Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML

agreeclassic 12 736

vote type 1 43 799

By allgrowedup - 12/02/2011 03:10 - United States

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

agreeclassic 41 386

vote type 1 5 509

By shredded - 12/02/2011 00:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

agreeclassic 10 329

vote type 1 56 225

By loner - 12/02/2011 00:08 - United States

Today, in an effort to make new friends in my history class, I sat in the empty seat next to a friendly-looking guy. He got up, walked away, and sat down in a different seat. FML

agreeclassic 36 660

vote type 1 4 205

By blinded - 11/02/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I went to get a facial. I forgot my contact case so I put them into paper cup. My beautician thought it was leftover water from someone else, and threw my only pair of vision aid away. I scuttled home half blind. FML

agreeclassic 16 192

vote type 1 26 834

By Anonymous - 11/02/2011 03:21 - China

Today, I woke up to a repairman at my door who was simply supposed to turn my water back on in my apartment. Two hours and 5 repairmen later, all I have now is a large hole in my ceiling. Still no water. FML

agreeclassic 28 826

vote type 1 2 371

By JaneVI - 10/02/2011 22:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I got an e-mail from my seminar tutor asking why I wasn't in class. I was sitting next to him. FML

agreeclassic 31 027

vote type 1 2 922

By acab93 - 10/02/2011 22:37 - United States

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

agreeclassic 9 165

vote type 1 64 650

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 18:38 - Ireland

Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML

agreeclassic 143 964

vote type 1 6 468

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

agreeclassic 13 783

vote type 1 38 606

By inosehowthatgotthere - 10/02/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

agreeclassic 9 360

vote type 1 52 606

The tourist

By Sam - 09/02/2011 20:56 - United States

Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally replied, "Yeth ma'am." She ended the tour right there. FML

agreeclassic 9 569

vote type 1 68 978

By maddie! - 09/02/2011 17:48 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML

agreeclassic 34 559

vote type 1 13 347

By PrestonW - 09/02/2011 15:53

Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML

agreeclassic 35 395

vote type 1 7 798

By Username - 09/02/2011 03:27

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

agreeclassic 36 420

vote type 1 3 131

By nomoreart - 09/02/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, I was working on my art portfolio. I had drawn a self-portrait. When I was satisfied, I wanted to show my parents. They thought it was a drawing of a bear. FML

agreeclassic 29 418

vote type 1 5 229

By Anonymous - 08/02/2011 18:32 - United States

Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML

agreeclassic 12 683

vote type 1 50 604

By 5minsolder - 08/02/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

agreeclassic 41 401

vote type 1 3 642

By um - 08/02/2011 00:54

Today, I told my new boss to wish his daughter a happy birthday on my behalf, as I overheard him saying it was today. Turns out she committed suicide three years ago. FML

agreeclassic 46 557

vote type 1 8 008

One simple trick

By Anonymous - 07/02/2011 21:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone to a guy I really like from work. We'd been talking for about 2 minutes, when he said he was getting another call, and put me on hold. I was so excited to be on the phone with him, it took me a whole 15 minutes to realise he had actually just hung up on me. FML

agreeclassic 34 299

vote type 1 7 405

By Anonymous - 07/02/2011 11:43 - Australia

Today, I was walking to the shops when I saw my friend about 10 metres in front of me, waiting at the traffic lights, by herself. Jokingly, I shouted out "Who's that really ugly person waiting at the lights?" The girl turned around. It wasn't my friend. FML

agreeclassic 11 954

vote type 1 45 218

By oxbonxo - 07/02/2011 08:38 - Australia

Today, after hanging up the phone, I realised that telemarketers are my only form of social life. FML

agreeclassic 26 604

vote type 1 6 170

Depressing

By bymyself - 07/02/2011 02:05

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML

agreeclassic 30 669

vote type 1 3 842

By lifesux - 05/02/2011 21:28 - South Africa

Today, my mom and I were escorted out of the KFC because my mom tried to mug and pick a fight with another customer. FML

agreeclassic 34 061

vote type 1 3 980

By stinkerweeder - 05/02/2011 20:30 - United States

Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML

agreeclassic 42 855

vote type 1 3 042

By MissCommunicate - 05/02/2011 15:36 - Australia

Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook. FML

agreeclassic 43 281

vote type 1 3 042

MissCommunicate app_comment_confession_title

MissCommunicate 0

Sunday 6 February 2011 11:26

I am only seventeen, and that's how I found out. My parents were then quick to give me the "talk".

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

agreeclassic 57 180

vote type 1 4 225

By ohhhjaymo13 - 05/02/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML

agreeclassic 29 709

vote type 1 3 380

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

agreeclassic 50 288

vote type 1 5 127

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "To put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

agreeclassic 33 107

vote type 1 9 430

Today, I have a painful abscess with a bacterial infection near my bum that makes sitting or walking difficult, and a fever too due to it. The doctor gave me sick note and told me to rest, but my husband shouted at me for taking sick off when I "only" WFH. He also expects me to do house chores the whole day. FML

agreeclassic 501

vote type 1 85

Today, I was so proud of a clever analogy I'd written to a friend in a text, that I “dropped the mic” afterward. I realized what I'd done a split second before the phone hit the ground and shattered into a million pieces. FML

agreeclassic 1 276

vote type 1 5 565

Today, I told my parents that I was going to stop being so hard on myself all the time. They responded by calling me a narcissist. FML

agreeclassic 1 376

vote type 1 219

Today, when asked for a second date, I had to explain to a man that I didn’t want to see him again, and that he should give women compliments and ask them questions when on a date. He then told me he only does that when his dates look good or say something interesting. He sure still tried to fuck me. FML

agreeclassic 1 404

vote type 1 344