Gifts

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By Anonymous - 26/12/2024 16:00 - United States - North Reading

Today, after my wife just cashed in $160,000 in stock options, my Christmas present was two pairs of socks she bought with REI credit. I suppose it’s better than last year’s spatula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 127

One-sided

By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 20:02 - Australia

Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 135

Demanding

By Anonymous - 21/02/2023 14:30 - India

Today, I went out to buy my wife some flowers and a chocolate bar that I overhead she liked the other day. On the way home, I was complimented on the bouquet I chose and feeling pretty good about myself. When I got home it turned out I got the wrong kind of flowers and the wrong percent of dark chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 141

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 31/08/2023 07:02 - Palau - Angaur State

Today, I got gifted a US MRE Menu 4 Cheese and Veggie Omelette, despite the fact that this crap has been discontinued by the government, as well as probably expired, as a "Thank you for your service" gift. I thought they'd gotten rid of this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 124

Thanks, I hate it

By hawtpinkpanties - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my grandma gave me a gift, something she's never done before. I was excited, until I found out it was one of her overdue library books about dolphins. I feel so loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 426

You deserved it 3 202

Thanks, I hate it!

By thebabysitter - 14/08/2009 07:34 - United States

Today, I just got done watching my cousin's two kids for four days while they were on vacation. I fed, clothed, and bathed them for four days of hell and got paid with a $5 shark tooth necklace from the Bahamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 025

You deserved it 5 358

Moment of self-realization

By Bad fiancee - 19/12/2024 23:00 - Romania

Today, I caught my fiance lying about being at work. Furious, I started breaking his things, demanding to know what skank he'd been sneaking around with. He gave me a stack of receipts, saying he'd been Christmas shopping. He's not cheating, just getting me everything I wanted. God, I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 609

Happy Birthday!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 452

You deserved it 7 753

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 00:48 - United States

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I'd ordered an Xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 340

You deserved it 3 519

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 1 448

Jumping the gun

By Anonymous - 16/11/2023 16:00

Today, my wife ruined the gift I got for our 10 year anniversary by opening a package that was clearly addressed to me, finding the custom made necklace, and started wearing it straight away. I didn’t even know it had been delivered yet and boom, right there on her neck two weeks early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 116

Best gift ever

By Vanessa - 04/02/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 236

Be grateful, you nitwit

By Anonymous - 29/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Flemington

Today, I got my husband a really expensive Bulova watch. He asked for brown. I got him a brown and gold leather watch. He said it looked to much like the cheap $10 watch in his collection and asked if I could exchange it. I can’t - no refunds. Now we are fighting because he can’t express his feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 131

Late announcement

By 307 - 19/05/2023 03:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, it’s Mother’s Day. My mother-in-law, who is batshit crazy, bought her daughter a pinwheel. My MIL claims she “saw it and knew it was for her.” Her daughter is 47. This might be laughable, but over the years, her daughter is slowly turning into her. I’m effed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 165

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 03/03/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Middlesbrough

Today, I was woken by my younger sister punching me in the balls. She also pulled the duvet off, and dragged me out of bed by my feet and onto the floor. All because I ate her chocolates, which were a gift. I was left writhing in pain in my underwear right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 2 070

Love is in the air

By Anonymous - 27/11/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for my birthday, my husband gave me a dress he stole from my wardrobe. It was the one I'd bought myself on my last birthday because he forgot to buy me anything, and gave me cash in a brown envelope. Not a birthday card, a brown envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 112

Just a prank has its limits

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 17:34 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 354

You deserved it 3 304

Taking the piss

By birthday girl - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Toledo

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 374

You deserved it 4 274

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 170

Better late than never

By Anonymous - 26/12/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I realised that despite all my careful Christmas preparation, there is one thing I forgot to get. The gift for my wife, which I should've picked up from the shop I ordered it from. It’s sat in that shop right now at 7pm on Christmas Eve. I’m a dead man tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 589

By Anonymous - 10/05/2009 18:37 - United States

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 477

You deserved it 3 759

Recycling helps

By Julieworld - 24/04/2020 08:00

Today, I was able to find the Facebook profile of my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend, for whom he left me for. I had been curious about who she was, and when I zoomed in on her profile pic of them together, I noticed she was wearing the ring he'd got me for Christmas and that I'd given back to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 899

Influencers

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 08:01

Today, my wife asked me to wrap an empty box to put under the Christmas tree. She didn't want her vlog followers to think she didn't get me any gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 136

Thanks, I guess…

By ButYTho - 06/11/2022 01:00 - Spain

Today, a friend and I celebrated our birthdays together with our mutual friends. I bought them a game from their favourite series, commissioned a sketch, and chipped with others to get them various other presents. I got a mug and a hentai t-shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 269

A little drinky-drink problem?

By Anonymous - 26/12/2022 15:00 - United States - Newark

Today, a local liquor store gave me a holiday gift for being such a great customer. They're not the first ones to do so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 973

For me?

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend gave me a very thoughtful gift: A pair of woolen socks, hand-knitted by his mom. They were a size 43. Yes, that’s his size. I wear a 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 113

Perfect!

By BahHumbug - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Painesville

Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 368

You deserved it 8 183

Are you calling me a fatass?

By Asl94 - 16/01/2021 05:01

Today, my mom asked me what I wanted as a gift, so I said a Cricut machine. She replied, "You don’t need exercise equipment, you need to eat healthier." A Cricut is a sticker maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 159

Boxing

By Jim - 23/01/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I gave my nephew a toy car as a gift. He opened it, looked at it for two seconds, and then spent the next hour playing with the cardboard box it came in. Apparently, I could’ve saved $20 and just bought him a box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 122

Loud and clear

By Anonymous - 16/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law got me a pair of $2 socks for my birthday. Usually, I don't care… until I found out she got my husband's friend, not even best friend, a $100 gift card, and offered him her free hotel room at the casinos. This is the fifth holiday in a row I've received gifts under $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 92

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 355

You deserved it 3 986

Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 878

You deserved it 28 521

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 294

You deserved it 3 577

Today, I weighed myself for the first time in a while and confirmed that I have put on a few pounds. I was feeling a bit down about it. I went to work and on arriving a workmate I hadn't seen in a while gave me a hug. She said, "I love hugging you, you're so nice and squishy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 694

You deserved it 7 850

Today, I thought I had a good talk about personal hygiene and infection risk with my 6-year-old. Later, he told his mom he won’t poop any more, because his butt will "fall off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 291

Today, my twin sons have decided to forego the toilet, and instead poop in random places around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 762

You deserved it 443