Fight

By for fuck sake dad - 02/11/2012 23:50 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 999

You deserved it 3 482

Work sucks, I know

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 14:01 - United States - Keene

Today, I had to go hands-on at work, while choking on mace, with a man who was mentally disturbed. It could have been avoided, if my supervisor had been less concerned with asserting dominance, and instead let the guy get a grip on the situation. Great use of my college degrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 111

Coinkydink?

By believe me now?? - 22/01/2016 20:55 - United Kingdom - Ilkeston

Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 891

You deserved it 2 078

Fighting talk

By Anonymous - 21/11/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, my best friend called me a slut during an argument, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. She lost her virginity at 13 years-old, and all four of her kids have a different dad. When I mentioned it, she gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 183

Fight Club

By Back to youtube - 23/10/2023 22:00

Today, two weeks after I got my girlfriend's son to watch old Tom & Jerry cartoons instead of those awful YouTube kids channels, he got in trouble at school for whapping another kid in the face with a toy mallet. He mentioned he wanted to be like Jerry. I'm a dead man when my girlfriend hears this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 280

Chess boxing

By W…… - 06/04/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, my cousin wanted to play chess with me. I've never been good at chess, but I had no idea until now that my cousin is somehow even worse than I am. I also forgot that he's a sore loser and a half until after I finished thoroughly trouncing him. Now I have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 113

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 170

Little Man Syndrome

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 02:00

Today, my boyfriend suffers from Little Man Syndrome and I’m thinking of dumping him, because last night was the seventh time in a year I had to pick him up from hospital after he deliberately picked a fight with a guy bigger than himself and got knocked out. Now he has black eyes and no front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 193

Don't Fight Club

By kizz mi azz - 28/03/2022 04:00

Today, I stood up to the school bully in a fight. Rather than thank me, the whole school, including some of his victims, now treat me like a psycho. Apparently they tolerated him because of his terrible foster parents, so me hitting him was actually way out of line, and insensitive. How did I become the bad guy here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 167

Childlike

By Anonymous - 18/04/2021 23:01 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, during an argument between me and my boyfriend, he called for his mom. She came up and told us both off and told us to stop screaming, as if we were kids. We are both well over 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 1 242

Stand up to bullying? Nah

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 12:00

Today, I learned that when you stand up to a bully in a bar, it never ends like it does in the movies, the bully doesn’t get knocked out, and you don’t get the girl. What you get is a trip to hospital, banned from the bar, and the girl goes home with the bully while you lie in the ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 556

So, here's the thing…

By dad - 28/04/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 683

Caveman behaviour

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 04:00

Today, I tried to win back my ex by fighting her current boyfriend. He kicked my ass. Now I have a broken jaw and a court date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 2 491

Let's goooooo

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 12:00

Today, my 9-year-old son decided honesty is the best policy and to never lie again. And by that, I mean he's decided to go ahead and blurt out every mean comment he can think of. In one school day, he made 6 kids cry, was punched by 4 other kids, was reprimanded by 3 teachers, and was uninvited to a birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 225

Fight Club

By x_o - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Hungary - Öttevény

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 973

You deserved it 3 948

Love thy neighbour

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 10:00

Today, I found out that I have moved next door to a guy from my school, with whom I've had a arguments with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 175

Welcome…

By Brenden - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Massillon

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 968

You deserved it 7 316

Tennis

By Anonymous - 09/01/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, I got home from school after having been in a fight. I looked to my father and asked him for advice; he said, "Go see your mother." I go to see my mother, and she says, "Go see your father." FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 98

Oh no, not you

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 00:01

Today, I had no idea my dad and my fiancé's dad are old enemies, until we brought our families together for the first time since we met and COVID rules were relaxed. Long story short, there was a brawl, lots of drinking, a destroyed back garden and we’re not engaged anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 99

Nice guys

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 05:01

Today, my stepson punched a girl because she wouldn’t accept his apology about punching her last week, when she wouldn’t lend him her pen. At this point I’m convinced he will one day go to prison for murder during a bar brawl or wife beating, since he has a temper and only seems to hit girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 265

Heckler dealt with

By mr_cheese - 22/10/2014 20:24 - United States - Seattle

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 473

You deserved it 40 257

Shorty

By Anonymous - 07/09/2020 13:01 - United Kingdom

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 575

You deserved it 358

It wasn't me!

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 18:40 - United States - Charleston

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 902

You deserved it 2 732

Fight Club

By CurseYouSonyaLee - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Midlothian

Today, I got into a fight with my brother that somehow ended with him breaking my toe with a Fisher-Price airplane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 778

You deserved it 5 652

Cops can't catch criminals

By frustrated - 17/05/2014 10:11 - United States - Forest Park

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4 a.m. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 394

You deserved it 4 808

Knowledge

By Anonymous - 03/09/2021 02:01

Today, my mom hit me in the face after an argument she didn't win. According to her, Mexican and American are languages, and not dialects or nationalities. She even argued with my teachers, and threatened to remove me "from a school full of uneducated people" after they told her I was correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 435

You deserved it 121

Tickle time

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 12:00

Today, I'm a trained soldier with tours of duty under my belt, 6 foot tall with scars and tattoos, and yet I still can’t beat my brother in a fight because he cheats by tickling me until I can’t breathe or piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 284

A good thing? Really?

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 12:00

Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 307

You deserved it 1 386

Fight Club

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 14:01

Today, my sons are such idiots that they had a blazing punch-up that put both of them in hospital, all because one of them stole the last cigarette from a packet. Never mind they both have their own cigarettes, but for some reason the theft of this one cigarette was the last straw that lead to a punch up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 322

Blood is thicker than shit

By Anonymous - 06/11/2024 05:00 - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, my father is living with me because he's broke, but sometimes he has temper tantrums and calls me a son of a bitch. I can't stand to be name-called when I support him 1000%, and then we got into a violent physical fight. We both end up hurt, so I want to kick him out of my house, but I can't because he won't leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 171

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Messy Animals Dogs Cute Love Miscellaneous ACAB Cops Intimacy Thief NSFW Sex Fight #FAFO Kids Parents Sexism Swimming pool Disney Money Abuse Health Gross Poopoo peepee Farts Cheating Shopping Weird Holidays Vacation

The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 250

You deserved it 5 183

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 448

You deserved it 3 892

Today, a tree fell on our 3-month-old family car. Today, I also learned that my husband never insured it. It's probably scrap, and we still have to pay it off for the next 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 078

You deserved it 571

Today, my boyfriend asked my dad why he gave me the nickname "Bear," which he has called me since I was very little. My dad responded, "Because she has a hairy back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 160

Today, I turned in my final worth 20% of the grade. Today was also the day my internet decided to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 231

You deserved it 311

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 784

You deserved it 3 903