Divorce

You're so vain, you probably think this FML's about you

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 04:00

Today, I was told by my wife of 19 years that all the songs about cheating that she's been playing for a year and a half should have been a good enough hint. Getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 118

Better call Saul

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 07:30

Today, my wife broke the TV during an argument with her mother, but it’s my fault because I "put the TV in such a stupid place" so I should pay for a new one. Anyone know any good divorce lawyers? Stick the number in the comments, I’m so done with her bullshit and her crazy family of assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 156

Trauma for life

By he's still not convinced - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 936

You deserved it 3 643

Rationalization

By Anonymous - 28/04/2021 02:00

Today, I'm getting divorced because I found out that my husband of 17 years cheated on me when I was pregnant, all 3 times. He also had a year-long relationship with another woman, but, "it doesn't count because she knew I wasn't going to leave you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 138

Give me a second!

By Nick - 23/06/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, my ex-wife's lawyer threatened to default on the divorce because I have not signed the divorce papers yet. Divorce papers that I have not been served yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 30/12/2008 04:34 - France

Today, I found out that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 475

You deserved it 31 608

It was supportive, I swear

By oopsydaisy - 01/10/2014 02:20 - United States

Today, my co-worker told me that my other co-worker is in the process of getting a divorce. I got really excited because his marriage is very toxic. He overheard me say, "He deserves that divorce!" I meant it in a good way, but I don't think he took it that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 674

You deserved it 12 056

Liar, liar

By skanula414 - 31/12/2014 19:00 - Sweden - Malm?

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 471

You deserved it 49 836

Make it make sense

By Anonymous - 25/05/2025 21:00 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I got divorce papers from my wife, who was a former adult entertainment performer. Perhaps foolishly, I tried to get her to accept Jesus and become a Christian, which she eventually did. Now she is divorcing me for "being married to a former porn star." FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 778

Back to square one

By Who-is-living-with-whom - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother finally finalized her divorce! Unfortunately, she'll have to sell the house, and when she does, she'll move in with me. I only moved out a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 413

You deserved it 1 021

The whole kit and caboodle

By Anonymous - 05/07/2023 21:00

Today, I asked my husband for a divorce. He said fine, as long as I got full custody of the kids. I did an actual double take; he didn’t want shared custody, he wanted me to take the kids, no arguments or negotiating, because he doesn’t want the kids anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 497

You deserved it 573

Consistent

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 970

You deserved it 57 773

By DD: - 19/02/2015 20:45 - United States - Denver

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 182

You deserved it 3 961

In a hurry

By bubbles - 10/06/2022 16:00

Today, my husband got home from a date, since he can't wait for our divorce to go through on account of his cheating. I literally put off medical school for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 189

Get out

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 10:00

Today, I’m considering a divorce. My father-in-law has never liked me and is very vocal about that, names like "bastard" and "prick" are common. My wife is normally very headstrong and takes no nonsense, but she lets him treat me this way so she must agree with him. The wedding was only a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 195

Great gift

By Meh - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, two days before my birthday, my parents drove three hours to visit me at school and take me out to lunch. I assumed that it was to celebrate my birthday. They told me they are getting divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 468

You deserved it 2 898

Heiress

By Anonymous - 19/02/2022 06:00

Today, my now ex-husband admitted in open court that the only thing he misses about me is the income from the chain restaurants my parents willed to me. I raised his kids for thirteen years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 125

Marriage story

By collegekid - 17/05/2020 14:00

Today, after 25 years of marriage, my parents decided to get a very nasty and extremely expensive divorce. Using my college tuition to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 133

You deserved it 202

Don't snoop

By Anonymous - 19/09/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I thought that my husband and I were going to work things out, since we’ve been having sex every night. I snooped into his emails today while he was at work, only to see that he’s started the divorce process without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 314

Travel plans shelved

By Anonymous - 17/10/2023 16:00 - United States - Dawson

Today, I found out the passport office sent my passport to the wrong address. They sent it all to my ex-wife (currently separated) who is now asking for money in exchange for the documents, as well as me signing a divorce that she hasn't started. I'm from Australia; I can't go see my family because of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 150

Give my love to Kevin

By Gladtobealive - 14/06/2023 16:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, there's a family reunion in my parents' backyard. I'm not invited because my Mom, Dad, Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents are upset that I'm divorcing my ex-husband. Apparently, trying to kill me doesn't matter since he's funny, always made excellent barbecue chicken in past reunions, and everybody loves him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285

You deserved it 132

At least someone's happy…

By reckless182 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to tell my 10 year-old son that his father and I are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 688

You deserved it 13 574

Thanks, kids

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with something like, "Yay! I want to live with Daddy! He buys better presents!" Their father has literally never bought anything for them, one of the many reasons I'm divorcing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 277

You deserved it 8 744

New OS update released

By Susanliz89 - 29/06/2023 03:00

Today, my husband is divorcing me for a girl who was born in 2004. Two thousand fucking four. He’s 41. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 180

Family ties

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 14:00

Today, during divorce proceedings, I decided to have my kids DNA tested. Neither of my kids are mine. My daughter's real father is unknown but my son's DNA identifies him as related to me, but not as my son, so he’s more likely my nephew, meaning his dad is one of my brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 042

You deserved it 155

Wandering star

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 21:00 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, I thought my parents were divorcing over money, but it turns out the real reason is that my dad has been cheating for two years with a 20 year-old girl from his work. He only told my mom two months ago, after he got the girl pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 897

You deserved it 147

The second coming

By Anonymous - 19/10/2023 09:00

Today, my husband is trying to divorce me because I’m pregnant, even though I’ve been told all my adult life that I’m infertile. I’ve never even had a period. He’s blaming me for lying to him because he never wanted kids. He even tried to claim it must be another guy's baby. He’s an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 204

Eastenders

By Amrit - 03/04/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that a few years ago, when I lost my kids to my ex-wife, it was because my current wife secretly hated having to be their stepmom, so she conspired with my ex to ruin the custody hearing in my ex's favour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 197

Extreme Masterchef

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 12:00

Today, after an argument a month ago, my husband has refused to do any cooking since. After a month without his food, I’ve realised at this point in our marriage his cooking is literally the only thing about him I like anymore. I think I want a divorce. Over food. What an end to a marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 528

It's downhill from here

By Lost Reggie - 14/05/2025 20:00 - United States - Greenbrier

Today, my best friend since 8th grade died. This follows the deaths of my father in 2023, my divorce, and my mother dying last year. I already had an emotional Mother's Day, and now this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 86

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Love Parents Divorce Scary Miscellaneous Insects Coworkers Work Awkward DIY Birthday Kids Embarrassing Clothes Teenagers School Video games Gamers Family Public freakouts Break-ups Addiction Health Pregnancy Intimacy Sex Friends Pranks Weird NSFW

The Top

Today, the day before I was supposed to go back to work after I got sick, ended up in the hospital, and primary doctor put me on medical leave, I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 95

Today, my cat has a new ritual: As soon as he sees a human, he meows for a good ten minutes straight. Pettings, brushes, and toys have yet to get him to stop. His new favorite time to do it is 5 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 133

Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 5 890

Today, I contacted my landlady to tell her that I approved of the girl she recommended for a sublet. She then told me she thinks this girl is a neo-Nazi. Why? The e-mails she sent to the girl were rejected as spam. Apparently, this and being German qualifies you to be a neo-Nazi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 434

You deserved it 425

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 528

You deserved it 2 704

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, saying somewhat annoyed, "Don't drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 127

You deserved it 11 062