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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Confused

    By 635CSi - 06/06/2012 05:23 - United States - San Diego

    Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 139
    You deserved it 2 999
    Share  

    Like a virgin

    By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 35 184
    You deserved it 7 134
    Share  

    Love is love, dude

    By lonelyengineer - 19/12/2010 10:28 - Germany

    Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 16 038
    You deserved it 32 221
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    Keywords

    Kids Family Miscellaneous Friends Toxic Confused Love Pranks Money Scams Religion Cheating Parenting Dating NSFW Work Cooking Health Painful AITA Stalker My ex Coworkers Internet Relatable Awkward Pokémon Annoying Shopping Underwear
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I had to wash my cat. Twice. The first time was because he decided to roll over in the litter tray after using it. The second was the result of him pissing on the floor, then rolling in it right after I'd dried him from the first time. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 457
    You deserved it 271
    Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 258 990
    You deserved it 42 833
    Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML
    I agree, your life sucks 392
    You deserved it 111
    Today, I had my second miscarriage. My husband responded by throwing a bitch fit because I "totally blindsided him with this miscarriage shit” knowing he wanted kids, and if he'd known he wouldn’t have married me in the first place. He threw his wedding band in the trash and stormed off. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 734
    You deserved it 139
    Today, I went in to return a pack of socks. The cashier told me I couldn't return them. Then, I thought that she hadn't given the unreturnable socks back to me, even though she had, so I ended up getting all hormonal and angry over their return policy. When I got home, my mom got on my case too. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 356
    You deserved it 1 357
    Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 573
    You deserved it 11 134
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