Awkward

How could you?

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife is mad at me because she’s had to stop seeing her closest friend because of me. Why? Because her friend is stalking me, keeps asking me to divorce my wife, and has even broken in and stolen my stuff, forcing me to involve the police several times, and somehow this is all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 104

A promise is a promise

By Anonymous - 25/07/2021 04:01

Today, my mom went to my dad's funeral as the Grim Reaper. Apparently, because they were both massive Terry Pratchett fans, they'd agreed whoever outlived the other had to go to the funeral as Death. No one else found it funny and more than a few swore to never speak to her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 407

You deserved it 208

Drip drip drip

By Anonymous - 19/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, I got a surprise when a drop of icy cold water hit the back of my neck. I wondered how this could be, as my dad had put in foam insulation on the pipes overhead in my room. It turns out there's one tiny spot that he couldn't insulate due to it being weirdly shaped and hard to reach, which is sweating now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 58

Deadbeat

By Janessa - 28/11/2021 14:01

Today, a woman reached out to me on Twitter to ask me if my dad was OK, since she talks to him every day and they haven't talked in a few days. She also doesn't know if he's in prison or not. My father left when I was 3, and I haven't talked to him in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 104

Sexy

By Anonymous - 23/05/2014 02:36 - United States - Rockland

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 690

You deserved it 17 207

Experimentation

By sex ruins friendships - 13/12/2021 11:01

Today, I tried to reach out to my friend after not hearing from her for a while. One night while drinking, we both admitted to being bi-curious and decided to experiment with each other. I thought it was just harmless exploration, but apparently this makes her never want to speak to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 268

Not a player

By Anonymous - 29/11/2022 14:00

Today, and forever, I've never had a woman try to hit on me, so when my barista asked if I’d like to come to her place after her shift, I didn’t immediately realise she meant sex, so I actually stupidly said, “What for?” She got embarrassed and people glared at me like I was scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290

You deserved it 547

Please be patient

By Anonymous - 31/05/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - Elspeet

Today, and since I moved to the Netherlands in 2021, I have been learning Dutch ever since then, and have reached a Dutch accent point (Southern). Today I was in a shop and was asking a cashier for something behind the counter in Dutch. They answered in English to my request, even though they were CLEARLY Dutch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 442

Serves no purpose

By I need cuddles - 26/08/2019 20:00

Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend is physically affectionate with me is when he wants to have sex. When I suggested we just cuddle, he looked at me and said, "What’s the point in that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 367

Republicans scrap child marriage bans

By what year is this?! - 27/03/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, I found out my 17 year-old cousin is getting married. My hyper religious family swears my concerns are just “masking” my jealousy. Yeah sorry for thinking such a young person, who is still a child, should have her own life before making such a huge decision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 184

I'm innocent!

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 04:00

Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 150

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 132

You deserved it 540

Life ain't a movie, son

By Effwmn - 20/12/2022 09:00

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 1 325

Coinkydink

By zAstonish - 28/11/2019 14:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I realized that my brother is one of those people who comment on porn. I found out about it because he commented on my video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 2 702

How did it go?

By Jill04 - 11/10/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 76

Genetics

By merr - 13/02/2023 16:00

Today, despite being skinny everywhere else on my body, I have a double chin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 152

Mix up

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, I got a text from an unknown number that said, "Are you free tonight?" Thinking it was a friend messing around, I responded with, "Only if you're buying booze and dinner." The reply a few minutes later was, "This is Dr. Peters, your dentist. You missed your appointment today. You need to reschedule." FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 487

Tetchy

By Be polite - 26/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I greeted every passenger cheerfully getting onto my bus all morning. At one stop, I said, “Good morning!” to someone who didn’t respond, so I repeated it louder… only to realize they were wearing headphones and now passengers were staring at me like I was a pissy Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 371

Ah, teenage love…

By Anonymous - 14/11/2022 19:00 - United States - Mineral

Today, I was sitting behind a cute girl in class. She said she liked musicals, so I played The Greatest Showman at full blast on my headphones. She turned around and moved seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 1 557

Honest mistake

By Luke - 19/03/2013 09:59 - United States - Liverpool

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 538

You deserved it 30 150

Jingle bells

By LonelyThisChristmas - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my stepmum told me that the Christmas dinner she is cooking tomorrow will cost £25 a head. I laughed because I thought she was joking. She wasn't. Now I'm spending Christmas alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 683

You deserved it 806

What?

By Patrick - 23/02/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year-old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 069

You deserved it 7 453

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 013

You deserved it 3 412

Big mistake

By AccidentalToiletSpy - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, in the bathroom at work, I heard two co-workers enter and begin a very private discussion. Not wanting to embarrass either of them, I figured I'd sit quietly until they left. Big mistake. They talked for an hour and a half. I couldn't feel my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 097

You deserved it 1 189

Get it while it's hot

By Anonymous - 15/01/2022 02:01

Today, I was at a guy's house that I’d been seeing for a while. After watching a movie, I confessed that after these past few times we’ve hung out, I’ve started to catch feelings. He looked at me and said, "I actually don’t think I want anything serious, but are you down to be friends with benefits?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 487

Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 11:30 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was writing an essay while sleep-deprived. In between actually writing, I started typing my thoughts. It was only after I’d submitted the essay that I realized that I hadn’t deleted the random words. My teacher can see my early-morning rambling about potatoes. I have no way to delete it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 492

You deserved it 1 605

Happy for you

By Anonymous - 30/10/2015 13:27 - United Kingdom - Tranent

Today, I was invited to my friend's wedding. I wouldn't mind, but she chose her now fiancé over me, despite him being in prison for assault, a heroin addict and a general dick. This was all because I accidentally called her stupid three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 962

You deserved it 3 756

Date night to remember

By Anonymous - 26/08/2025 17:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I'd planned a low key date night with my partner for tonight. I told them about it last night. When they got home, they asked why I was dressed up. When I mentioned the date night, they just shrugged and said "Oh, OK" then made a joke about my lipstick. They didn’t change out of their grubby clothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 167

Good job, son!

By peeepeee. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while taking a drug test for a volunteer job, I found out that I have a "shy bladder". It took me ages to pee into a cup. I was congratulated and clapped for by complete strangers when I finally left, all for taking a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 040

You deserved it 4 551

Safe travels, Grandma

By noyodel - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Italy

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 022

You deserved it 3 466

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was watching TV with my husband and my 5-year-old son. Everything was going fine until my son asked his father, “Why can’t mom know that you have another sweetheart?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 727

You deserved it 1 288

Today, I got fired. A woman, who'd been ignoring me at the workplace, told me I wasn't friendly enough. She turned out to be the manager. Apparently, she likes to test the new hires by being extremely cold and unwelcome. She never even introduced herself. Also, it only pays 70% of the minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 152

Today, as usual, my parents do not believe that I have schizophrenia. The hallucinations won’t stop and I still can’t get used to how scary they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 95

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 981

You deserved it 17 940

Today, after my daughter had a cast on her broken leg for 14 weeks, she got it removed this morning. She was bawling her eyes out because she never realised her leg hair would keep growing under the plaster; 14 weeks worth of growth. She didn’t cry this much back when she broke the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 97

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 956

You deserved it 3 432