The Top

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Strong

By blanknameisblank - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 915

You deserved it 22 267

Expert level

By badadvise - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Mexico - Guadalajara

Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 676

You deserved it 2 673

Confused

By StUbbY - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonald's drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I pulled out of the line, only to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 889

You deserved it 59 736

Morning commute

By muffdriver - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 649

You deserved it 4 292

The big day

By somethingblue - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Lowell

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago, I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day… and woke up with food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 729

You deserved it 3 459

Creep

By fu2then - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He said, "Yeah well, you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 395

You deserved it 4 260

Face your fears!

By birdsterrifyme - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 521

You deserved it 4 454

No smoke, no fire

By My Life Is Just PERFECT - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. Ten minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 346

You deserved it 4 191

Pranked

By fucker43 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend made the effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 145

You deserved it 4 795

The smell of success

By Sheliton - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 754

You deserved it 5 525

I just work here

By fishingforubies2 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Aruba - Oranjestad

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 384

You deserved it 1 893

Hollaback girl

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 545

You deserved it 37 854

That's nice

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 757

You deserved it 3 903

Oh no…

By Lentil - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 639

You deserved it 4 039

No beer for you

By PerfectVision - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 432

You deserved it 3 300

Bedlam

By Snow-White - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wilmslow

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat, and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 999

You deserved it 19 391

Upon reflection

By mahanaaa_23 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Honolulu

Today, my boyfriend of six years proposed to me. Less than three hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 191

You deserved it 4 445

No one's favorite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 876

You deserved it 3 814

You OK, lady?

By merp. - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wausau

Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 030

You deserved it 6 222

Pranks are evil

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 832

You deserved it 1 664

It's catching

By longdrive - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 823

You deserved it 5 229

Strange stranger

By MandyPanda - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 294

You deserved it 9 276

Trashed

By rainey - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 722

You deserved it 2 642

Skincare routine

By redisnotmycolor - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 397

You deserved it 3 612

Morning!

By whydoihavecats - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 848

You deserved it 2 733

Ouch

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Union City

Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 925

You deserved it 2 545

Spray it

By catwoman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 441

You deserved it 5 588

Undercover

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring because he was so good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 607

You deserved it 4 798

Pile on

By skitzobiatch69 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, after being cut out of the car, on the way to hospital in the ambulance, we were involved in another accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 921

You deserved it 2 423

Improvised

By Geraldine - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 724

You deserved it 2 856

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 300

You deserved it 3 468

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 940

You deserved it 4 082

Today, Covid started when I was a freshmen in highschool. I'm now halfway through my Junior year and I still haven't experienced any normal high school events or traditions. I'm going to graduate without experiencing anything. Now we have a new variant… again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 195

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 130

You deserved it 53 934

Today, I was in a fancy department store. I was wearing my travel backpack. I was turning around after paying at the checkout and my backpack hit a metre-tall display covered with necklaces. It went crashing to the floor, hitting another display table laden with jewelry that collapsed under it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 123

You deserved it 10 833

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 572

You deserved it 4 473