The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week

The top of the month

The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Line must go up

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 15:00

Today, I'm due to be packing my hospital bag to give birth tomorrow before Easter weekend. Instead I'm answering client emails, and ignoring sarcastic colleague emails asking "Have you gone into labor yet?" as I haven't been fully responsive on text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 90

It's a cult

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 12:00

Today, my wife decided to take from our savings and donate £500 to the church “for the starving people.” I wasn’t aware crooked priests were starving but hey ho, now she’s mad at me I cancelled the cheque since I would like to retire before I’m 80. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 132

Noob

By Pete - 08/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I’m a gym newbie and finally worked up the nerve to use the squat rack. I loaded a very modest weight but still felt proud. Halfway through, I realized I’d set up directly in front of the mirror… backwards. I was basically doing awkward half-squats facing everyone else, and two people were politely trying not to laugh behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 98

Britain's Got Talent?

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during an important music audition, I fudged everything up and forgot half the lyrics of the song I was performing, so I just sort of tailed off into embarrassed silence on stage. It was an original song, I wrote the lyrics myself. All the lady could say was, "Good luck next year, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 134

I want to ride my bicycle

By Baddad - 15/04/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I assembled my kid’s birthday bike without reading the instructions. I proudly presented it, only for him to sit on it and immediately realize the handlebars were on backwards. The training wheels were also uneven, so it leaned like a sinking ship. My kid said, “It’s OK Dad, it's not your fault,” which hurt more than if he’d laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 514

Crashing out

By Anonymous - 22/04/2026 06:00 - United States - Westminster

Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 109

Mad as snow

By Lucy J - 28/03/2026 09:00

Today, my mom and I were running late for school, and she got pretty stuck in the snow so she asked me to dig her out. Then she ran over my foot. As I got into the car and blamed her for what she'd done, she shouted at me that she couldn't care less, and that we had to hurry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 62

Impressive skills

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 03:00

Today, I tried to impress my date by confidently parallel parking on a busy street. I hit the curb twice, stalled the car, and somehow set off my alarm. Then I locked the keys inside while it screamed. We stood there in silence while people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 449

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2026 22:00

Today, I discovered my sister's fiance's name multiple times in the guestbooks of the hotel I work at, each time with a different woman, so I told her and she dumped him. It turns out it was a guy who had the same name, but it wasn't him. He won't take her back, and now she hates me. I thought I was being a good sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 707

Unfair

By Anonymous - 06/04/2026 02:00 - United States

Today, I lost my custody battle and I have to return my grandchildren to my disowned daughter, who was allowing her now ex-husband to abuse them. I can't appeal or anything because frankly we don't have the funds. I wish I'd never had her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 92

Have a nice flight?

By anonymous mom - 08/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I took my toddler on a flight alone for the first time. I packed snacks, toys, everything. Thirty minutes after takeoff, he threw his juice straight onto my lap, then screamed for the exact snack I'd forgotten. The passenger next to me offered tissues and said, “First time?” I nodded, covered in sticky apple juice, for the next two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 167

Teacher bust out the sad smiley face

By Anonymous - 09/04/2026 15:00 - United States - Belmont

Today, I got my multivariable calc final back, only to realize that the ten points I got off was for putting 10 + 15 = 35 on a problem. My teacher wrote ten question marks and “No???? 25???? :(“ next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 383

Newbie

By Anonymous - 15/04/2026 12:00 - United States - Denver

Today, at my first office job, I tried to casually join a conversation about weekend plans. I said, “Yeah, I love hiking there,” even though I’d never been. Someone asked, “Oh, which trail did you do?” I panicked and said, “The main one?” Turns out there are six, and they all started debating them while I stood there nodding like I belonged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 585

Who is this and what do you want?

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 18:00 - United States

Today, out of nowhere, several spam calls started calling my cellphone number. Every single one of them about health insurance. I didn't know why they were calling me or how they got my number. After a bit of questioning, it turns out my dumb dad used my name and cellphone number while trying to look for info. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 71

Respect the warranty

By Anonymous - 22/04/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, our brand new dryer that we scripted and saved for because we're tired of dealing with broken stuff is once again still broken. The store that sold it to us keeps canceling on us instead of coming and fixing it like the warranty says they should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 62

So brave

By Anonymous - 24/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, at university, I worked up the courage to speak up in a lecture hall of 200 people. I raised my hand, made my point, and felt pretty good until the professor said, “That’s exactly what I said like five minutes ago.” Half the room turned to look at me like I'd just woken up from a nap mid-class. Which I had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 508

Directions

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 21:00 - United States

Today, I had a hard time directing my dad to where we were supposed to throw out our broken toilets when we replaced them with new ones. I kept saying to go to the right. Unfortunately I was talking about MY right, not HIS right, and he was walking backwards. It wasn't until I said "other way" that he got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 244

Make plans, God laughs…

By Anonymous - 06/04/2026 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we lost our dream house because the current owner heard us discussing our plans to landscape the massive back garden, and she decided she couldn’t sell to someone who planned to rip out all the flowerbeds she spent years cultivating. Why sell the house then, selfish cow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 738

Won't someone think of the children?

By Anonymous - 11/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, my family got harassed yet again by kids coming over wanting to use our pool. Ever since my parents and I moved in, it's been happening every single day, and then people accuse my parents and hating children when they say no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 67

Small pleasures mean a lot

By Chocolate Croissant - 13/04/2026 20:00 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I think I had a mini orgasm when the baker told me that the chocolate croissant I'd just chosen was still warm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 94

Epic fury

By Eek - 15/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my husband discovered a big wasp nest on the porch. Rather than spray it, he decided to suck up the wasps with the vacuum. He also did not empty it. I can see the still living wasps buzzing furiously inside the vacuum chamber and I'm scared to touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 90

Anger management

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my parents tried to apologize for wrongly grounding me. I told them to go fuck themselves, so now I'm re-grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 735

You learn something new every day

By Anonymous - 20/04/2026 13:00 - United States - Concord

Today, after 40+ years of marriage, I got Peyronie's disease. Thankfully, the missus is understanding. After months of treatment, the painful bend is a bit less so, but the scar tissue that causes the bend also does not expand. Because of this, I have lost a full 5 cm / 2 inches in length when erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 66

Season 3 claims another victim

By Bless - 24/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, I was watching Euphoria’s new season and my mom barged in without knocking to ask me something. At that precise moment, a very explicit sex scene came on. She threw a bitch fit, tore up my prom ticket and told me that I ever lose my virginity while living under her roof, she’ll kick me out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 59

Cost effective

By Anonymous - 28/03/2026 15:00

Today, I got into yet another fight with my wife because I keep telling her Los Angeles is too expensive and that we need to move somewhere cheaper. But she won't listen. She keeps saying all these high prices are going to blow up in the government's faces. I agree, they probably are, but when? Tomorrow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 68

Love and marriage

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 03:00

Today, I woke up realizing my wife of less than a year of marriage wants a divorce. We have known each other for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 77

Stay away from me

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 22:00

Today, my restraining order against my mother, who literally tried to murder me when I was 8 to prevent my dad from getting full custody of me, was denied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 57

What did I do now?

By Friendless - 04/04/2026 20:00

Today, I connected two of my long time best friends. Upon chatting with each other, they discovered how toxic I was as a friend to both of them. They agreed that those traits don't exist anymore, but they are too hurt to continue their friendship with me. Fire away the YDI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 488

Shut down

By Marriage is a lie - 06/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 169

Unrequited

By SilentAF - 10/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I was working up the courage to tell my male bestie of three years that I was starting to fall in love with him. I told him, “Hey, I wanna get something off my chest, do you mind?” He instantly panicked and said, “Nope, please don’t say it.” and asked me to leave. He never let me speak and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 138

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Kids Health Poopoo peepee Ironic Weddings Miscellaneous Birthday Cars Work Embarrassing Transportation Awkward Vacation Family Bodyshaming Love Divorce NSFW Sex Students School Technology Management Medication Allergies Abuse Money Funerals Intimacy Cats

The Top

Today, I got a call from a police department saying that if I didn't move my car from a store's parking lot within the next 15 minutes, they were going to tow it and charge me for the fee. I was at work and the reason I parked it there is because it started smoking and almost caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 726

You deserved it 4 910

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 230

You deserved it 3 336

Today, I got fired from my nannying job because one of the mom's several boyfriends mentioned that he found me attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 818

You deserved it 1 576

Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 703

You deserved it 1 939

Today, my mom was more upset about my 67 on an Algebra test than my sister almost setting the house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 033

You deserved it 6 166

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 812

You deserved it 12 476