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Drip drip drip

By Anonymous - 19/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, I got a surprise when a drop of icy cold water hit the back of my neck. I wondered how this could be, as my dad had put in foam insulation on the pipes overhead in my room. It turns out there's one tiny spot that he couldn't insulate due to it being weirdly shaped and hard to reach, which is sweating now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 57

Quick

By Bad interning - 24/04/2026 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was asked to “schedule a quick call” with a client in a different time zone. I double-checked everything… except daylight savings. I sent the invite, joined the call early, and waited alone for 20 minutes before realising I'd scheduled it an hour off. My manager had to email the client an apology while I learned more about time zones than I ever wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 241

Caught you slipping

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent my shift as a museum guard politely telling people not to use flash photography. At the end of the day, I leaned against a rope barrier to stretch my back, and the entire thing detached from the wall with a loud crack. A school group turned around just in time to see me standing there holding the rope like I’d tried to steal the exhibit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 148

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 12:00

Today, my parents told me that they don't respect my decision to stay single for the rest of my life and never date again, and have made it clear they will continue pressuring me to find someone new. I'm only 27 and I've already been both widowed and divorced. I'm done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 112

Give peace a chance

By Anonymous - 05/04/2026 03:00

Today, I found out that my mom withdrew me from karate at the insistence of my my fucking stepdad, who's a wimpy sissy pacifist who is against violence. I was so close to getting my black belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 89

My body, my choice

By Anonymous - 06/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents are sending me to boot camp. All because I drove my sister to her abortion when they wouldn't. Not even she can stop them from doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 145

Bang bang bank

By Freerickson - 12/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, I learned that you should never take a girl you meet at the club home, even if she looks like she wouldn’t hurt a fly. We had the most amazing sex ever and I guess the edibles we had threw me off-guard. I woke up to find her gone and my house cleaned out. I didn’t even get her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 287

Lower your expectations

By Aghha - 17/04/2026 14:00 - United States

Today, my Hinge date threw a fit because I refused to put out after he took me to an expensive restaurant. I told him, “If you spent over $200 with the expectation of pussy, you should have hired a prostitute instead.” He replied, “If all you wanted was to eat food and not fuck, you should have DoorDashed instead.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 247

Get out

By Anonymous - 19/04/2026 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband threw my brother out for wearing his dressing gown and eating his snacks, saying it was the final straw for his lazy, thieving, unemployed ass. I support my husband obviously, but now my parents are mad at me because my brother moved back in with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 111

No doxxing

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 03:00 - United States - Yorktown

Today, me and my coworkers repaired a deck for a couple in Pungo. They got us lunch from a sandwich shop we’d been to a few times before. All of us, the couple, and dozens more people then got Norovirus from one of the sandwich shop employees. I puked so much that I lost SEVEN POUNDS in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 52

Intentional?

By Libris Mortis - 22/04/2026 21:00 - United States - New York

Today, I intentionally caused my parents to have an intensely heated argument when I asked them how and where they first met. Dad said it was at a funeral, and mom said it was at a burial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 244

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 24/04/2026 13:00 - United States - Fontana

Today, I feel like I’m living in some horrible campy horror comedy. I was walking to the kitchen when my cat ran under my feet, causing me to trip and fall backward through my glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 62

Sparkles 4 U

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 00:00

Today, in addition to no smoking and no pets, I now have to add NO FUCKING GLITTER to my Airbnb listing. The last fuckers left my place sparkling like a gang of fairies had an orgy in every goddamn room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 165

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 20:00

Today, I found out that my parents are in trouble because they left me home alone for almost two weeks (I'm 16) and my Karen neighbor found out and called social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 68

Industrious

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 15:00

Today, my ex, who only came back into our kids' lives a year ago, is bitching and moaning he can’t teach our son anything because he's already taught it to himself with DIY instructional YouTube videos. Did he really think our son was going to wait four years to learn to use a drill or buzz saw? FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 84

April fooled

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 09:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for cheating on him with his best friend… in a dream he had last night. I was upset at first, but then I remembered what day it is, and laughed at his silly "prank". He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 54

Neighborhood watch

By Anonymous - 12/04/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, we have a man prowling the neighborhood, soliciting donations to a fake charity, all while he is casing the neighborhood and asking us about our valuables. The cops refuse to do anything about it, except tell us we will probably get robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 78

Thanks for the self-confidence boost

By Tata - 14/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I’m six weeks post-partum. I bought lingerie for the occasion and surprised my husband. It was going well until I took off my corset. He visibly recoiled but kept going to be nice. He insisted we keep the lights off because he “had a headache and his eyes hurt.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 98

You're welcome!

By Anonymous - 16/04/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a homeless woman and a young man wrapped in a blanket so I went to give them a fiver. Turns out the woman was just helping calm her autistic son by wrapping him up, and not homeless at all. She kicked me in the balls and took the money anyway while I was on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 156

**** me, I guess

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I dropped out of college and moved back home to help my mom take care of my younger siblings after our father's death. My mom yelled at me and scolded me and lectured me for throwing my life away, and said this was the last thing she ever wanted me to do. I thought she needed help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 476

Hard times

By Anonymous - 24/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I learned that my brother isn't going to have a funeral because my dad and stepmom can't afford one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 57

Tetchy

By Be polite - 26/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I greeted every passenger cheerfully getting onto my bus all morning. At one stop, I said, “Good morning!” to someone who didn’t respond, so I repeated it louder… only to realize they were wearing headphones and now passengers were staring at me like I was a pissy Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 81

Gimme my money

By PrettyGirlCrookedMouth - 27/03/2026 09:00

Today, someone was sent to our house to fix our broken garage door. Mom asked me to pay for it, telling me she'd pay me back this weekend. It was supposed to be about $300 and some change. The door was so broken, it ended up costing $1000, cleaning out my whole savings account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 62

Love is hell

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 03:00

Today, after my long distance "boyfriend" told me he loved me more than the world, he asked for advice on how to talk to girls. He already has a girl from class in mind. What's worse is that I actually haven't broken up with him yet because I know about his home life. I can't help but feel like I wasted my time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 370

Keep it professional

By Heather and her dog - 30/03/2026 22:00

Today, during an important Zoom meeting, I insisted my dog was calm and well-behaved. To prove it, I picked him up. He immediately sneezed directly into my open mouth while my camera was on and my boss was speaking. Everyone saw and heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 480

Tech issues

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 16:00 - United States - Aurora

Today, I installed an update on my computer and it's decided WiFi doesn't exist at all. Not on my desktop and not in settings. I'm currently bedbound for weeks due to chronic illness and it's my main source of entertainment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 83

Passionate

By Anonymous - 19/04/2026 20:00 - Australia

Today, I spent 10 minutes passionately explaining a concept on the board while the class was unusually quiet. When I turned around, half the students were trying not to laugh. I had written the entire explanation with a marker that was completely dried out. The board was blank. I essentially gave a TED Talk to a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 372

Poker face at all times

By loss.jpg - 21/04/2026 06:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 296

Time to chime in

By Women don't owe men shit - 23/04/2026 09:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I heard my husband giving my son the talk about girls. He said, "You want three main things from women: peace, sex, and kids. If they can't give you those, they aren't worth your time." What an asshole I married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 280

Classic case

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son is complaining that girls only want to have sex with him but won’t date him, so he’s afraid he’ll never get married. Funny, my wife only wants to be married to me, but won’t have sex with me. Ain’t that ironic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 83

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The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 576

You deserved it 4 454

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on Bumble. He spent the entire time talking about his pet tarantula and showing me pictures of it, all while I made 'ooh' and 'aah' noises, as if the guy was a child showing me his kindergarten drawings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 263

Today, I missed an interview to work in a school as a teacher's assistant because the email inviting me to attend got buried among the spam emails. Oh well, back to my usual job as an assistant janitor. Yes, that's right, assistant janitor. It's the same job as a real janitor, but for less pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 123

You deserved it 1 522

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 391

You deserved it 4 226

Today, I got a reply from a women who's SD card I found 2 months ago and tried to give back. Yesterday I formatted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 384

You deserved it 755

Today, I had threesome with my wife and her best friend. Now my wife is mad at me for sleeping with her best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 477

You deserved it 1 337