The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Statistics

By Anonymous - 09/09/2020 05:01 - Italy

Spicy

Today, I found out that my 7 friends, with a total of 23 past boyfriends in 11 years, have had 0 orgasms during sex. As someone whose sex ed was basically porn, it felt like finding out Santa wasn't real, but worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 520

By Dino - 21/10/2018 14:00

Today, I drove a total of 4 hours for my boss to demote me, downgrade my pay, and make the kid I hired my new boss. Why? Because I asked about the $500 missing from my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 894

You deserved it 183

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 02:45 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I was threatened to be held back because of the lack of teacher-parent communication. My parents refuse to sign my report card because of my one mark below ninety percent. My teacher was dead serious about failing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 861

You deserved it 1 476

What happened?

By Kallian - 25/11/2019 03:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I walked home and found a massive branch had fallen into my parking space. My first thought, "Thank God my car wasn't hit!" My second thought, "Where's my car?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 460

You deserved it 150

By 1DisGR8 - 14/11/2018 13:30

Today, while writing a midterm, my period came unexpectedly. Too bad my male professor was the one to notice and not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 011

You deserved it 192

By crinitis - 28/01/2016 16:05 - Canada - Ancaster

Today, I found out my parents only had me in an attempt to fix their relationship. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 103

You deserved it 1 394

Catching flak

By Argh - 24/11/2018 03:00 - United States - Longview

Today, my boss reached a new low when, after three software upgrades, she refused to let me update the user manual that I wrote a year ago. She has also cancelled the training sessions I set up to help people learn the new software. People are asking me why I'm not doing my job anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 361

You deserved it 197

By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 07:46 - Netherlands - Overveen

Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 221

You deserved it 3 783

By vegeta - 24/12/2018 20:00

Today, I’ve been getting sexy messages from an unknown number. First I told her to stop multiple times, then I blocked her. I can only assume that she changed her number and managed to find me and message me again. My girlfriend saw the messages and told me flatly “It’s over.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 031

You deserved it 222

By mustanggt - 10/01/2019 14:00

Today, I submitted an offer on a house. I got a call a few minutes later saying that it had collapsed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 667

You deserved it 198

By for the whored - 18/12/2015 20:46 - United States - Corpus Christi

Spicy

Today, I was listening to music on my phone and reading posts on here. I laughed hysterically at one, then noticed my parents shooting me outraged looks. Turned out I laughed while a news reporter was talking about a brutal rape that just happened in our city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 177

You deserved it 3 245

By mettaton - 17/01/2019 00:00

Today, I realized that my mom talks to me with the exact same tone of voice she uses for my little cousin. I’m 23 and my cousin is 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 329

You deserved it 340

By turriblebday - 17/12/2009 15:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 019

You deserved it 2 602

By pooperscooper - 20/02/2017 00:00 - Australia - Hunters Hill

Spicy

Today, I had to wipe someone else's shit off the toilet seat for the third day in a row. We had a new staff member join our team three days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 328

You deserved it 483

By *sigh* - 08/12/2015 22:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I confronted my friend about the £260 he owes me. He got offended and said, "Friends don't have to pay back." He called me selfish and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 726

You deserved it 2 211

By DED - 21/03/2019 12:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I found out that a co-worker has been promoted to Store Manager. She has been here for less than 6 months, and I have been with the company for 10 years. Guess who has been training her for the last 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 462

You deserved it 278

By WellGroomed - 26/11/2015 15:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 695

You deserved it 1 602

Thank you for your service

By Auburn_flame - 27/03/2019 00:00

Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 545

You deserved it 370

U wot m8?

By _Asykes_ - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 100

You deserved it 2 503

By Cantbreath94 - 13/11/2010 06:07 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 660

You deserved it 3 144

By Bad Mum? - 31/03/2019 23:00 - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my eldest son told me he wishes he lived with his dad. This after I, two years ago, managed to get myself and my children out of the abusive situation we were in. Why? He didn't want to tidy his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 507

You deserved it 227

By anonynomi - 19/11/2015 17:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 065

You deserved it 1 614

Gamer girl woes

By justanothergamergirl - 17/04/2019 20:00

Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 1 194

By MysticSoup - 21/04/2019 22:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I asked my doctor out on a date. He had his nurse turn me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 3 975

By oops - 15/07/2012 05:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 878

You deserved it 44 572

By Kolpall - 15/08/2015 10:22 - Tunisia

Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside in the garden. At 3 a.m., I’m awoken by something licking my face. A dog? A camel. A camel! FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 167

Work sucks

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Yellow Springs

Today, my friend explained that his internship was clearly worse than mine because he got yelled at by clients. One of my clients ripped out my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 889

You deserved it 1 606

By "Audrey Harmon" - 20/04/2017 16:00

Today, my sister tackled me by the leg in a game of frisbee. I now know the unique sensation of a knee dislocating. It is not a beautiful one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 432

You deserved it 292

By MyLifeSucksSoHar - 31/10/2015 01:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I discovered that I don't have enough financial aid to continue going to college past this semester. I'm one semester away from graduating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 391

You deserved it 1 927

MyLifeSucksSoHar_fml tells us more.

MyLifeSucksSoHar_fml 9

Tuesday 3 November 2015 0:07

OP here. To further clarify my situation, I'm working two jobs on top of being a full-time student and it's still not enough. The problem is, the government insists that a person with two jobs should have enough to pay for college so they've reduced the amount of money I can get - never mind that since I only have a high school diploma, I can only get minimum wage. Plus, I don't have any credit established - so I can't get any other loans.

By cpizzle12 - 29/10/2015 10:20 - United States - Manassas

Today, I got fired from my job a week before I started my new position in a different area of the company. My supervisor found out I was going to be making more money than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 043

You deserved it 1 606

cpizzle12 tells us more.

cpizzle12 7

Wednesday 18 November 2015 7:37

UPDATE: I talked with VP of sales s( he was going to be my new boss) .. And apparently something much more is going on that involves HR. HR drama going on I guess.. He will be further investigating this week and questioning the head HR lady that fired me. He called me today to get my side of the story.. Also asked me to email my resume to him. Lord willing the truth will be revealed!! I will update later when I find out more!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous Health Love Frustration Religion Relatable Awkward School Work Porn Money Cars Transportation Cheating Sex Ironic Intimacy Drunk Dentist Kids Parents Birthday Cute Death Painful I need your advice Sextoys NSFW Bodyshaming

The Top

The Top

Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some Cheez-Its I had in my room. After I'd enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 581

You deserved it 16 952

Today, I was at the water park in Disney World when I felt something run down my leg. I thought that I just hadn't dried off all the way, but when I looked down, there was diarrhea running out of my shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 581

You deserved it 755

Today, I’m trying to recover financially from my divorce by quickly selling my house, but my ex-wife weed-killered the word "Bastard" into the front lawn, and the woman who had put in an offer to buy withdrew her offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 180

Today, I was woken up to the crushing of my balls after my 5-year-old son thought it would be the best way to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 799

You deserved it 2 186

Today, the CEO of my company told me the only reason I'm being sent to this huge tech conference is because the company will look better with a girl there. I'm expected to stay out until 4am with creepy rich business partners to stroke their egos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 342

You deserved it 268

Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 109

You deserved it 5 283