Dogs, Pranks and Love: Bad boy

Bad boy

By wellokaythen - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 010

You deserved it 5 131

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Same thing different taste

By Puppy problems - 27/10/2013 01:23 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 573

You deserved it 4 537

By sammyxoxo - 18/12/2011 08:32 - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 802

You deserved it 2 786

Bad doggy

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 584

You deserved it 4 911

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 121

You deserved it 2 454

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 218

You deserved it 245

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 028

You deserved it 3 466

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 721

You deserved it 3 930

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 395

You deserved it 51 032

Confusing

By frenchpop1960 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 599

You deserved it 42 158

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 94

HowAreYouToday 34

Tuesday 14 May 2013 23:59

He's a shitty boyfriend.

davek 36

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:03

He should consider himself, erm, dumped?

Comments

syrini 7

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:44

It's the thought that counts. (atleast I didn't make a shit joke)

rt567 15

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:52

wow, pretty cruel, I'd say that's a deal breaker op.

ManicGypsy 22

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:53

Out of curiosity, was he aware that he was your boyfriend? I'm sorry, but this is just the first thought that popped into my head.

yeongji 31

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:13

Did I read it correctly? Boyfriend? You forget the "ex" in front, right?

chenzki_fp 6

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:13

Well it does say "welcome"

str0ngersurviv0r 5

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:17

why did you decide to date him?

freshko21 6

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:19

Your bf must not like your welcome matt.

olpally 32

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:28

Pick up the welcome mat with the shit on there and smear it all over his face!

MoroseMoose 47

Friday 7 October 2016 6:41

Best idea yet!

mn_shr 22

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:45

Wow, that's sweet of your boyfriend.

xALEXx_fml 15

Wednesday 15 May 2013 2:02

That's dog

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The Top

Today, it's been over three months since my ex and I split up. It's also been three months since I've seen my step-daughter. Being an ex-stepfather is heartbreaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 139

Today, while reviewing boxes of motorcycle parts, I noticed my neighbor's daughter gleefully watching me. I jokingly said, "Wanna do this?" and she let out a loud squee and got to work alone. A few hours later, the bike was ready for a test run. I had no idea how to even start building it. She's 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 782

You deserved it 2 561

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 178

You deserved it 6 253

Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 14 795

Today, I went to a White Sox game, and tried to purchase some pizza. There was a huge line behind me, and as soon as I got the pizza, the lady at the register told me that my card was declined. I tried 3 more times and still declined. Turns out Geico charged me twice on my insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 107

Today, I woke up feeling out of step with life. Work owes me money for 6 months-worth of projects I did. I collected loans to take care of my sick dad and manage myself, and now my bosses are refusing to pay what they owe, so my account balance is blank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 118

Bad boy

Same thing different taste

Bad doggy

Spooked

Pick it up

Confusing

Bad boy

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