Love

For clarification, the first part of the letter, which I had pieced together, sounded like it was going to be a love letter. He was talking about how love was a puzzle and usually the pieces fit together perfectly, but sometimes it takes a little bit of work and effort to put together. Then he started talking about our relationship and all the fun times we've had. Then came the last piece. He ended by saying that our puzzle was a waste of time and should have been left out on the table unfinished, where hopefully the pieces would get lost and the puzzle could be thrown away.

By vishurricanes - 10/06/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 876

You deserved it 3 241

Happy?

By SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 735

You deserved it 6 839

Needed to know

By ohwell - 09/06/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for two years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time, and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response? "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 440

You deserved it 17 643

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 697

You deserved it 47 041

Keep it hidden

By doomed - 09/06/2009 01:28 - New Zealand

Today, the girl I'm in love with invited me to stay with her in Europe for 2 weeks, she's even paying for the flights and accommodation. It's because I'm such a special friend to her, and she wants me to come up to meet her fiancé before she gets married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 001

You deserved it 6 365

Goodbye

By dogs_and_toucans - 08/06/2009 18:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 10 months moved to Europe and we may never see each other again, so I gave her a $200 sterling silver heart necklace as a goodbye present. She gave me a pack of gum. Cinnamon, which I'm allergic to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 742

You deserved it 6 816

By twowords - 08/06/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 913

You deserved it 59 712

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 10:41 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 690

You deserved it 7 439

By aasatt22 - 08/06/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 907

You deserved it 8 702

By .... - 08/06/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several times, and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 865

You deserved it 3 281

The Lady in Red

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 01:36 - United States

Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walked up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then said, "Could you hold me my drink?" and went to dance with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 223

You deserved it 3 924

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 14:26 - United States

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 387

You deserved it 132 054

Strategic

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 13:50 - South Africa

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 774

You deserved it 95 458

By dawg3360 - 07/06/2009 06:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 653

You deserved it 134 243

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 00:38 - Canada

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 307

You deserved it 7 360

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 16:01 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 927

You deserved it 5 633

Never enough

By Discostu80 - 06/06/2009 10:24 - Australia

Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered into my wife's ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud, because I was embarrassing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 870

You deserved it 6 949

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 257

You deserved it 45 108

Remember bars?

By Baby_girl - 06/06/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, my best friend whom I have been in love with for years, called me, proposed, and confessed his love for me. He was at a noisy bar so I asked him to call me back later and we'd discuss it. He called back later, hungover, with no recollection of our conversation whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 369

You deserved it 5 310

By dumped - 05/06/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 928

You deserved it 6 278

Heavy rotation

By shescomfortablynumb - 05/06/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I had a third date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 874

You deserved it 4 796

Waiting around

By Anonymous - 04/06/2009 14:46 - Australia

Today, my fiancé of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 530

You deserved it 3 600

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 04/06/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 862

You deserved it 3 489

Rejection

By xXitslolaXX - 04/06/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I volunteered for a school play. During rehearsal, I was playing the part of an average housewife. The teacher asked for a volunteer to be my husband. Thirty seconds go by and no one raises their hand. The teacher ended up playing the part because no else wanted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 094

You deserved it 2 594

Catchy turn of phrase

By boinger - 03/06/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 380

You deserved it 61 159

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The Top

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 287

You deserved it 6 750

Today, after working 12 shifts in the past 8 days at 2 jobs and thinking today was a day off, I got the call that I misread my schedule and I was in fact scheduled. Got off at 2:30 am, work again at 9 am with 9 shifts to go this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 467

You deserved it 368

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Then my COVID test came back as positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 162

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 519

You deserved it 7 197

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining, "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 180

You deserved it 7 688

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 814

You deserved it 53 708