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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    Teenagers

    Sex ed is ******

    By danmarino - 09/03/2009 23:29 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled, "What's a clit?" Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to Google it when I got home. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 844
    You deserved it 83 935
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    The nickname that sticks

    By ap84 - 27/02/2009 21:47 - United States

    Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My teammates waved and said "BYE POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 83 887
    You deserved it 5 635
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    Keywords

    Family Miscellaneous Health Love Frustration Religion Relatable Awkward School Work Porn Money Cars Transportation Cheating Sex Ironic Intimacy Drunk Dentist Parents Kids Birthday Cute Death Painful I need your advice Sextoys NSFW Bodyshaming
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 40 354
    You deserved it 2 353
    Today, I saw my favourite shirt on the floor of my dorm's bathroom. Feeling too lazy to bend down, I used my feet to "flick" the shirt up. Apparently, some drunkard took a dump on the floor and used my shirt to cover it up. I now have shit all over my feet, hands and the wall in front of me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 405
    You deserved it 6 603
    Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 10 593
    You deserved it 76 744
    Today, a man sat next to me on a train carriage, despite various empty seats. During a weird conversation, I told him that I'm on my way back from London after seeing a friend from Germany there. He goes on to talk about Nazis and, with one arm in the air, asks me if he's doing the salute right. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 13 385
    You deserved it 970
    Today, my husband came home and sat in his car out front for fifteen minutes. I went and knocked on the door, asking what he was doing. Apparently, I always dump so much shit on him the second he walks in the door that he needs a little peace between work and coming home to me. Ungrateful ass. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 93
    You deserved it 1 810
    Today, I had an adverse, extremely negative reaction to weed, resulting in intense nausea, dizziness, and fast heart rate amongst other things. This is the third time this has happened in six months. Guess I need to quit for good. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 210
    You deserved it 1 186
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