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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11143) - you deserved it (38509)

On 10/16/2010 at 1:26am - misc - by Triumvirate (man) - United States (California)

Triumvirate's comment about their FML

The mistake I made mimicking that cop's behavior was a stupid and thoughtless one. You got me on that one.

That being said, I'll be damned if I'm going to sit here and be called a moron by people who dont even possess a rudimentary grasp of the English language. Seriously, nothing is wrong with what I typed. The admins of this site didn't change one thing as far as I can tell. I feel like I'm being lectured by a wookie on proper shaving techniques. I hate being a hardass about grammar, spelling and punctuation but the absurdity of being corrected by people who suck at all three is unbelievable.

I finally understand the grammar Nazi and his/her function.

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Today, I was walking to work through a bad part of town. A man yelled something at me, but knowing what part of town I was in, I ignored him and kept walking. Two seconds later I got hit by a car. Turns out, he was trying to warn me about the car coming right towards me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10491) - you deserved it (35577)

On 10/05/2010 at 8:38pm - misc - by lookbothways (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

cantthink123's comment about their FML

I'm the OP - just to let you know, I'm a young girl in my 20's, so I generally try to be careful in high crime areas. If that makes me a bad person, then okay. I was crossing the street from one side, and the road curved so I couldn't see the car coming. The guy was on the other side of the road. I'm fine now, I was only in the hospital for a couple of hours, broken leg and a couple of stitches.

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Today, I was kicked out of class for having a coughing fit. Yesterday, I was kicked out of class for sleeping, a side effect of my cough suppressant. Three absents from this class and I automatically fail. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (3472)

On 10/05/2010 at 2:33pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Pensu's comment about their FML

No, I wasn't forcing the cough; I've got bronchitis, I just get coughing fits that last for a while and can't control them.

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Today, I got a flat tire on the highway. If that wasn't bad enough I had no spare in the car. By the time I got a ride to get a new tire, someone was nice enough to fix my air conditioning for me. They smashed out my window to break in. The doors were not locked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21837) - you deserved it (3531)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by Gearhead369 - Canada (Saskatchewan)

gearhead369's comment about their FML

some people were smart enough to figure out "fixing" my air conditioning was simply just smashing out my window. and I didn't hitchhike, my wife picked me up!

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Today, I went to sit on the ground next to my crush at our college's free concert. Just as I took the final step toward him, somone ran into me causing me to trip and kick him in the crotch. He had to go to the emergency room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25702) - you deserved it (2788)

On 10/02/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

rd_less_traveled's comment about their FML

hey everyone. I'm the ball kicker. To clear up a few things. 1-how i kicked his balls: My foot was halfway off the ground and i was bumped into causing me to stumble and landing my foot in his crotch. 2-why he went to the e.r: I was wearing steel toe boots (hindsight, not a good idea. but i had to go to work after class and i drop things on my feet alot and i work in a storage area. shit is heavy) 3-why i couldn't stop myself from kicking him: I have no answer for this. It was a horrible moment and I have yet to stop saying sorry. 4-how he is doing: there was no major damage to the actual testicles, but his inner thigh is bruised. In other words, he's fine. 5-he does forgive me and we went our first date the other night. and 6-about the asshole who ran into me: karma.
thanks for all the advice, comments and other stuff that was said. Some of you guys are hilarious and it makes me feel better for the horrible incident.

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Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31006) - you deserved it (3181)

On 10/01/2010 at 3:26pm - health - by unojo08 - United States (Florida)

unojo08's comment about their FML

Thank you for your opinion, but I never said that I was attacked by the dog, I just said that I had been chased by him. I live in a part of town where its a little bit ghetto, and I didn't want to take the chance that the dog may or not be friendly, seeing as how it was chasing me. For your further information, my sister has a pit bull and it is a very loving dog that wouldnt hurt a fly. So before you cast judgement on someone for telling it how it is, please get your facts straight.

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Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9040) - you deserved it (43764)

On 09/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by ragass_mctree (man) - United Kingdom (London)

ragass_mctree's comment about their FML

dude im young, sensible and i hardly ever drink. it was my best friend's birthday party and she's leaving the country in a couple of weeks. i couldnt stand the pain of dealing with her not being here anymore so, and i agree it was stupid, drank on an empty stomach but accidentaly drank too much. dont lecture me if u dont know shit about what the situation was please

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Today, after waiting all day to get into my favorite band's concert, I got front row. At the end, one of them grabbed my CD and got the whole band to sign it. The last band member tossed it into the crowd, nowhere near me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37861) - you deserved it (2812)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:49pm - misc - by lovedontlivehere (woman) - United States (Florida)

lovedontliveher's comment about their FML

hey guys OP here. it was at the Hard Rock Live show in orlando. the kick off of the lady antebellum need you now tour. i handed my cd to dave haywood, who gave it to hillary scott, who gave it to charles kelley who then tossed it into the crowd. and by front row i meant i was in the 'front' since it was gen admission. believe me it really happened, i would have never in a million years thought up this.

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Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34615) - you deserved it (40257)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

dblac74's comment about their FML

Hey guys, im the OP lol. To clarify: Insanely hot chick next to me haha. Also I had a button up shirt, and initialy it was small enough not to matter, but the effin thing didnt stop growing haha. And for those who suggested it: No. Didnt get laid. Got a nickname at work though, "Jack in the box".

...once more for the record, FML.

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Today, I found out I'm being sued by the man whose life I practically saved a month ago. He says the way I pulled him out of the car he was trapped in has left him with permanent back problems. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46851) - you deserved it (3099)

On 09/15/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Dioxin01 - Canada (Quebec)

Dioxin01's comment about their FML

Hey everyone,
This happened while I was driving in the United States. Also if I hadn't helped him, there would be no chance of him being alive today.

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Today, I turned up 5 minutes late to what would have been a 5 minute breast check. After waiting for ages, a nurse asked me what I was doing there. Turns out because I was late, they had put me in the no-show pile, but forgot to tell me when I checked in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22123) - you deserved it (8216)

On 09/15/2010 at 5:45am - health - by msyaz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

msyaz's comment about their FML

To everyone who commented on this FML...I was the one who posted it. Given that I only had 300 characters to write my FML, didn't really get to explain it properly and the way it is worded does make it sound like my fault.

Basically, the whole story goes like this. I left 40 mins early for the appointment that was only maximum 20 mins away from my house. I looked up parking costs on the hospitals website before, and it said it would cost me $4 max for any amount of time. I got there, only to find that parking was actually $7, which I didn't have on me. I had to find a free park, which ended up being about a 10 mins walk up the street. Hence, I was late. Then when I got there, I explained what had happened, asked them if I was still on the list and they said yes, it was all fine and that the wait was usually long. Hence, I didn't think anything of it when I was waiting for quite a while.

So yes, I should have been on time, but techinically the rest was not my fault.

Thanks for all the comments though :)

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Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39729) - you deserved it (2809)

On 09/14/2010 at 12:15am - work - by lifeguardlechery (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

lifeguardlechery's comment about their FML

To be fair, I did scream "OMG NO! GTF OFFAME!" at the time. It's just that there was no one around but him and me to hear it (it was really early). After that point in time he switched to verbal sexual harassment. =_=

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Today, I learned that if you don't wrap your hair around a bristled curling iron the correct way, you end up getting it stuck, not to mention frying it. Three inches of my hair is now in the trash. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19577) - you deserved it (12944)

On 09/03/2010 at 5:37pm - misc - by maimay234 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

maimay234's comment about their FML

By the way, it was my first time using a bristled curling iron. I thought if you just rolled it up like a regular one, it would come right out. Looks like that didn't quite work out, judging from my hair cut. I thought I just unrolled it the wrong way so I spent 5 minutes trying to roll it out. Then I yanked the plug and started burning my fingers trying to get the hair out. Yes it smelled. Yes I know it was stupid of me to try it out hot the first time. But hey, we all have senior moments, right?

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