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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I got a nose piercing. I was asleep at the time in my backyard, and the piercer was a snake. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26562) - you deserved it (2764)

On 07/11/2015 at 3:56am - animals - by CoalRose - United States

CoalRose's comment about their FML

Hey guys! OP here. Wasn't expecting this to post, so this was a pleasant surprise! Just made an account to give the follow up. :) The weather was really nice so I had decided to go out in the back to read and get some sun. Somewhere between reading and laying down I fell asleep. I'm not sure what really happened, but I'm assuming I startled it with a snore or batted at it in my sleep, because the next think I knew I woke up with searing pain in my nose and staring face to face with a snake. I'm fine, luckily, as the snake was just your household garden/garter snake! Unfortunately the piercing, bite, whatever you would like to call it is too off center to wear. :( But yeah! All your comments & puns have been his hilarious so far.

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Today, I received a break-up text while in a cramped car with my whole family. I had to choke back tears as we got stuck in traffic with the radio playing one love song after another. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30194) - you deserved it (2233)

On 07/10/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by ThatOneChick856 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

ThatOneChick856's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here!
I think I should point out that my girlfriend and I were in a half-long-distance relationship (same college but we live so far away from each other outside of the school year), so face-to-face wasn't exactly an option at the time. Though, I still would've appreciated a Skype/phone call over a text.
But I was more upset that she told me what she thought of our relationship at such an inopportune time (I couldn't really let myself look upset so I had to hold it in), not to mention it was pretty unexpected (we saw our relationship going in different directions apparently). So I was pretty crushed when I opened the message.
Oh, and for those wondering, my family knows NOTHING about my love life, so they had no clue about me having a girlfriend in the first place. That's the main reason why I didn't mention it.
Luckily, we're now talking it out and we'll hopefully come to a mutual decision that will make us both happy in the long run. So no, I don't hate her or think she's an awful person simply for going about it the way she initially did.
Thanks for the support, everyone. :)

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Today, I finally hooked up with my longtime crush. I told all my friends about it, because of course I was really excited. Until later that night, when he texted me, telling me not to tell anyone what had happened, and that it was a one time deal. Oh, and right after that, he asked me for nudes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29818) - you deserved it (5054)

On 07/10/2015 at 1:24am - intimacy - by roxieee234 - United States

roxieee234's comment about their FML

I'm OP and just to clarify we were on a date so I wasn't expecting it to just be a hookup and the entire evening he had been talking about a potential relationship. I was quite vulnerable at this point and very into him so, obviously, I would've done anything he asked. of course in the end he didn't really want a relationship. and the reason I decided to tell my friends was because, as I said, he had been talking about a future for us and I believed him and I was excited thinking there would be more than just one night between us. turned out I was wrong. but also, no, I'm not a fuckgirl, just gullible.

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Today, I went by myself to do a birthday party in a park, dressed as Elsa from Frozen. Everything was going fine until another Elsa and an Anna showed up to a nearby party. The kids then decided I was a fake and pulled my wig off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26043) - you deserved it (2411)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:08pm - work - by princessrose - United States (Kansas)

princessrose's comment about their FML

Hi. I'm so excited this got posted. This actually happened a couple months ago. It was my first time as Elsa. And my first time alone. Unfortunately the new wig we had ordered was not very good. (The old one was unusable) and the kids at the party were already doubtful. But when the other Elsa showed up with Anna the kids decided I was the fake one and started pulling at me. They didn't pull it all the way off but we're able to tell it was a wig. However the parents were totally understanding and helped me out. Saying I we were else's helpers just like Santa :) in the end I even got tipped. Its a story I tell people now as it is something that would only happen to me. (I have bad luck)
Also To those saying I shouldn't do Elsa. I couldn't say no to the party as Elsa. I get paid $50 an hour. Would you say no to that?

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Today, I was at work at a supermarket straightening shelves in the food aisles. Just as I had finished and got ready to clock out, I heard a giant crash. A lady in a motor scooter knocked over an entire aisle of canned goods. She got up and walked away just fine, pretending nothing happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26011) - you deserved it (1654)

On 07/09/2015 at 12:32am - work - by acidonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

acidonymous's comment about their FML

this is literally my first FML ever made, let alone published!!! This was really surprising to wake up to. But to elaborate a little bit more, yes i did have to stay and clean it up, but i did get paid to do it. The lady in the motor scooter did not make any purchases and walked out of the store right after it happened (walking perfectly fine), probably to avoid conflict. So no one got the chance to talk to her. luckily i had no immediate plans after work other than sleep!

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Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML


I agree, your life sucks (24130) - you deserved it (2084)

On 07/07/2015 at 10:45pm - misc - by KaylaRox1908 - Canada (Ontario)

KaylaRox1908's comment about their FML

The movie was Terminator: Genisys. The theatre was completely full so I couldn't switch seats. The guy was with a friend so they both thought it was hilarious and continued to do it even for the after-credits scene when almost everyone was gone.

On a side note, I can't believe out of all the FML's I've posted over the years this is the one that got published, haha. Nice thing to wake up to in the morning before a job interview! (Hopefully that's not another FML waiting to happen)

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Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26321) - you deserved it (1679)

On 07/07/2015 at 2:00am - work - by SiaJoy - United States (Maine)

SiaJoy's comment about their FML

OP here, I love all of the comments you have written :D I didn't think this would get published. But to answer some questions the puke did get all over my shirt, the man apologized to me before stumbling out of the store, and my boss let me leave early. I did not have to clean anything but myself. Maintenance took care of it and they shut down the register for a while to take of it. Thanks for the comments guys :D any questions feel free to message me.

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Today, after my boss has gotten in the habit of calling me "bubble wrap girl" at work because I'm clumsy and he claims I need to be covered in bubble wrap for my own protection, I have just probably broken two toes by dropping a hairdryer on my foot. I will never hear the end of this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (4292)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:21pm - work - by Bubbles_the_klut - United States (Illinois)

Bubbles_the_klut's comment about their FML

OP here, thankfully my toes are not broken after all. And for those asking how a hair dryer could possibly do that, it's easy. The more times you break a bone, the easier it is to re-break. So no, my hair dryer is not made of concrete, I'm just fragile...

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Today, I once again asked my girlfriend about getting married, as she had previously said she would only get married once gay marriage was legal. She still said no. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25850) - you deserved it (3044)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:54pm - love - by Fgjvshnb - United States (Massachusetts)

Fgjvshnb's comment about their FML

Consider her dumped!

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Today, I walked outside to see the fireworks. I also got to see my neighbors burning a couch in the parking lot of my apartment complex to celebrate, right next to my car. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (1607)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:27pm - misc - by hamiltonma - United States (North Carolina)

hamiltonma's comment about their FML

OP here. To elaborate, I live in a college town and my apartment complex is right next to campus, as I also go to school. However, I don't think that burning a couch is really normal for anyone to do to celebrate haha. When I went outside, I asked them to move the couch since it was really really really close to my car. Really what they did next is the crazy part. They brought their truck around, hooked it to the back, and pulled it to the middle of the parking lot! Not even joking! It was pretty crazy but in the end, my car didn't get damaged so I'm okay with it. Thanks for all the comments! Really funny!
P. S. The burning couch did smell really bad!

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Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29706) - you deserved it (3622)

On 07/02/2015 at 10:08am - kids - by PupZilla - United States (Illinois)

PupZilla's comment about their FML

Hello everyone, Op here
First off, holy crap i didnt think this would get published, but when i got the email that it did, i HAD to look at the comments.
Secondly, she doesnt live with me most of the time, she lives with her dad and visits me one day a week and every other weekend. I am there for her and we talk a lot and are very close.
Thirdly, i have NO idea why she said this. I talked to her after her friend left and she told me that she is very confident in herself, but feels that she wants to be a size 0, not a size 2. She is very open with me and i can spot when she is not being truthful from a mile away. I explained to her how it was highly inappropriate and she seemed to understand. The friend that she had over is one friend that neither me nor her father likes. She has influenced my daughter in an unhealthy way. If my ex or myself notices any more behavior like this then we will take her to therapy.
My daughter definitely meant leukemia because when i asked her about it, she told me that it was not anorexia or bulimia that she was talking about. She is very confident with her body and i actually have to tell her to cover up sometimes because of what she wears.

Anyway, I spoke with her and she now understands how bad cancer is and what it does to people. I will definitely be keeping a closer eye on her now and her father will too.

And to those of you who said i was eavesdropping, she was in the living room, and i was coming down the stairs.

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Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25663) - you deserved it (1746)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:40am - work - by smokecloud_ - United States (Ohio)

smokecloud_'s comment about their FML

Squee I get my follow up badge!!

OP here. :D I'm a server at a chain Italian restaurant that is NOT Olive Garden. There were two servers manning our patio with almost 20 tables, and one of those servers also had to come inside and make all of the alcoholic beverages for the entire patio.

Me, being a bored inside server and a selfless team player, ran a couple salads out for the guy tending bar. They seemed annoyed when I walked up and complained that they'd asked for bread. I whisked away and brought back twice the amount of bread for a five top (they just looked the part) when the lady said "UGH!" and pointed to a gnat that had flown into her Caesar salad, on the side of the plate she had already cleared.

"Oh no!" I exclaim. "That's terrrible, would you like me to take this back and have it remade?"

She declined, and that's when she rather nastily said we should REALLY do something about the bugs. I just looked at her and said sorry, we're outside, there's not much I can do about it.

I did tell a manager, and he talked to them, but I doubt they were satisfied by his pointing out that we don't have nets and waving his arms at these imaginary nets. :x

Anyways, sorry for the novel, I've been waiting for this day far too long. Thank you FML community, and remember, don't forget to tip your server. :D

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Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you deserved it (2031)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:10pm - kids - by WittyMoron (man) - United Kingdom

WittyMoron's comment about their FML

I told my wife that was completely unacceptable, and as some people said, I took the high road in not slapping her back. I began an argument with my wife about it, and it got a bit intense. I told her that her mother could not come back, and she got quite angry. I went into the living room and began to cry. This is what gets me. What she did taught him the wrong thing. My son came in, said "Man up, daddy!" and tried to slap me, but he's little so it didn't hurt. But anyway, I got even more furious that he had learnt something from it. The argument ensued. Things are a bit cold. Sleeping on the sofa now but I told my son it's okay to be upset. Buried the dog, and needless to say my MIL is not invited back for a little while.

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