Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, the main file and backups of the book I've been writing for 2 and a half years mysteriously vanished. It turned out my mum decided that me spending so much time in my room must mean I'm watching porn, and so she trashed everything. FML

#21424410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29183) - you deserved it (2009)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - misc - by 4lphab3t4 (man) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

4lphab3t4's comment about their FML

Hi guys, OP here. To all of you who say this was a bit ambiguous, I ran out of space, so let me explain in more detail. I had 3 separate USBs, one of which I carry around my neck to prevent this from happening. Everything was clearly labelled and everyone was aware that I was writing a book. As for the USB around my neck, labelled "Confidential - Fuck off", I took it off for a shower, and when I came back... Poof! Gone. To those of you saying I should move out, I'm 16, so no chance of that happening. And when I said "Trashed" I meant literally gone. Everything downloaded onto a separate hard drive and removed while I was out of the house. As to how she guessed my password, I may never know. But yeah, this is my follow up, hope this clears things up somewhat.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

#21424225
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29341) - you deserved it (5383)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm - intimacy - by Hey_Buddy_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Hey_Buddy_'s comment about their FML

My bf isn't the most publicly affectionate guy (and I'm not the most publicly affectionate girl either, so it works out) so we saw each other with friends for a few hours before retreating back to spend time with just each other.
I found this to be really funny, I just wanted to share it and didn't really have anyone to talk to about it and stuck it on here, never expecting it to be published. It's not like he hadn't said anything along those lines, just as far as saying "I missed you" my boobs and vagina got those first lol
Nope, my boyfriend is wonderful and makes me laugh like crazy, and I'm even sitting in his apartment visiting him for a few days right now, laughing at all the comments on this post.

See all the comments including 13 other original poster's reactions

Today, I saw someone accidentally leave their headlights on downtown. Trying to be a helpful, I chased them down 2 blocks only to be informed that their headlights automatically turn off. FML

#21423771
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22340) - you deserved it (5859)

On 06/10/2015 at 3:08am - misc - by TheGolfGTI - United States (Texas)

TheGolfGTI's comment about their FML

Thanks for all the friendly comments! The full story is that I was at outside of whole foods in my car when an old couple got out of their truck. I saw in my rear view mirror that they left their lights on. The street they were going down was a one way street, so I chased after them on foot. After some running and little shoving I reached them only for the wife to tell me "Oh hun, they turn off by themselves." I went back and yes, she was correct.

See all the comments

Today, the guy I made cookies for, spent hours getting ready for, and drove 3 hours in traffic to see never actually wanted me to come. When I knocked on his door, he opened it, but immediately closed it in my face. He then texted me saying, "I met someone else." FML

#21423182
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (2649)

On 06/09/2015 at 2:10am - love - by Caligirl1996 (woman) - United States (California)

Caligirl1996's comment about their FML

OP here. Yes, there is more to the situation that I could not explain with so few characters. Him and I go to college together, and we have been dating for close to three months. I left for summer, but he stayed on campus because he is taking a summer course; therefore, we talked about me coming to his dorm, on our campus, for a visit because we missed each other. I do admit that I should have recognized that he was not mature enough to maintain a long distance relationship but we all make mistakes right?

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was excited because a friend had added me to a new Facebook chat consisting of my tight circle of friends from last year's summer camp. I then saw when the chat had been created. They kept me out of the chat for almost an entire year before deciding to add me. FML

#21422651
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24274) - you deserved it (2423)

On 06/08/2015 at 1:50am - misc - by Alaskalex - United States (Alaska)

Alaskalex's comment about their FML

Hey, this is OP. The camp is in Washington, and it looked like all the people in the chat were the campers from Washington, so my guess is that they created the chat just for the Washingtonians and started to add in people as camp time drew closer. The reason why it hurts a little is that I've had a pretty rough year with depression- I switched schools and ended up having no friends for about half the year- and it would have been nice to be able to talk with them and get some support, even though they lived so far away. I haven't said anything about it and I won't, there's no point in making a big deal out of something so little.
To #13- I did the same thing many a time in order to make myself feel better about being the youngest and not being able to do the things my older siblings did.
#22- Lol, okay, whatever you say. You seem a lot more invested in this than I am.
#44- Yes, we have summer camps in Alaska, though I was referring to one in Washington. Contrary to popular belief, there exists four seasons in Alaska, not just winter.

See all the comments

Today, a customer called the Chinese restaurant where I work and complained about her takeout order not including donuts. After informing her that we don't have them, she started to curse at me while citing the website as proof. She thought wontons were synonymous with donuts. FML

#21422369
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (1497)

On 06/07/2015 at 3:05pm - work - by taylorbrown97 - United States (Illinois)

taylorbrown97's comment about their FML

Hi guys, OP here! To clarify, by donuts she meant those "Chinese" sugar donuts that you can get at cheap buffets (at least where I live, in rural Ohio). Instead, we are relatively more of a high end Chinese restaurant, a family owned place that could be compared to PF Changs. So there is no way we would have those cheap donuts anyways! But for whatever reason she thought that fried wontons were the same things as those fried sugar donuts. She was incredibly upset and basically demanded that we give her the fried donuts that we supposedly offered on our website. Basically, working as a server/host in a restaurant is fun when you get to deal with unreasonable people! Thanks for the publish!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, after handing over the cash to buy my sister's car off her, she refused to sign any of the paperwork, and later put an ad on Craigslist selling the same car. I got scammed by my own sister. FML

#21421673
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29862) - you deserved it (3404)

On 06/06/2015 at 7:15am - money - by Kassutera (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Kassutera's comment about their FML

I will give you an update on what has since happened:

The car in question was 1500 bucks and I needed a car badly so I bought it off her and she told me she would give me the paperwork the following day for it. Being she is my sister I trusted her to give me the papers the next day. I happened to browse Craigslist only to find an ad resembling the car I just bought off her with her phone number. I called to see if she could take the ad down because I figured that she put this up before I bought the car when she told me she isn't going to take the ad down and the car is for sale. For those of you accusing of me owing her money...I did not owe anything to her before hand and paid her in full for the car. I had originally given my mom the money to give to my sister so it is not like she cannot say I have no proof the money wasn't given to her. My mom has been on her case about stealing the money and we are still working things out. Will give an update if it does eventually work out.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, one of my two roommates moved out without warning after we discovered that the rent hadn't been paid in full in a month, the utility bill hadn't been paid in two months, and the electric bill hadn't been paid in three months. We found out when the power was turned off. FML

#21421394
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24085) - you deserved it (3433)

On 06/05/2015 at 5:29pm - money - by Dissent21 (man) - United States (Idaho)

Dissent21's comment about their FML

I didn't really just "assume". We'd had a long conversation about who was going to be paying what bills, and we had an established system. I thought. She just sort of... didn't hold up her end, and then didn't tell me there was a problem.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML

#21420681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (6200)

On 06/04/2015 at 12:21pm - love - by NoMoreTacoBell - United States (Virginia)

NoMoreTacoBell's comment about their FML

Hahaha I never thought this would get posted! So the long story is, me and this boy have been best friends for a long time, Taco Bell and burping contests are a regular part of our friendship (and many other less-gross things). First of all let's clear up that I DID NOT VOMIT in his mouth. Not that a burp is much better but oh well. We just started dating recently so I was mortified, but our being best friends helped us both laugh it off in the end. Definitely should have called this one TacoBelch.

See all the comments

Today, I was choking on a popcorn kernel at the movie theater. Nobody helped me. The workers in there told me to leave because I was "disrupting the audience". FML

#21420447
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27700) - you deserved it (2380)

On 06/03/2015 at 10:14pm - misc - by MdMan2 - United States (Virginia)

MdMan2's comment about their FML

OP here. The movie was the new avengers. And yea, I'm ok. Thanks for asking.

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

#21419912
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28577) - you deserved it (3056)

On 06/02/2015 at 8:55pm - misc - by Zufallian - United States (Michigan)

Zufallian's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here. :)
I just wanted to say first off I did not expect this to get posted, so that was a great thing to find. Second off, I just wanted to clear a few things up. I do not think my sister learned this from PewDiePie, nobody in my house watches PewDiePie and neither does she. The only place I think she may have picked it up from is one of my friends, or my brother. I do not think she actually knows what the word means, she has just heard someone use it in a sentence. I did read all of your comments and to #113, it is not really that f***ing awesome when it is your little sister who is in low school saying something like that, especially being the oldest in the family and the one both of them look up to. I hope you all have a great day. :)

See all the comments

Today, I sneezed and ended up in the emergency room. How? Apparently the sneeze dislodged a kidney stone that is now slowly, painfully working its way from my kidney to my bladder so that I can piss it out. FML

#21419702
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (1851)

On 06/02/2015 at 1:21pm - health - by work_while_bent (man) - United States (California)

work_while_bent's comment about their FML

Yes, my wife made sure to tell me that about a dozen times.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I accidentally hit my husband in the face. Not 2 minutes later, while laying in bed and trying to apologize, I accidentally kneed him in the balls. FML

#21419117
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26868) - you deserved it (4118)

On 06/01/2015 at 12:21pm - misc - by ephram17 (woman) - United States

ephram17's comment about their FML

OP here. Thankfully, he understood that both were accidents. I apologized for both and he wasn't mad. He does however enjoy making me feel a little guilty with some good natured teasing about it.

See all the comments



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: