Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my date threw a fit, burst into tears, and made a huge scene in the middle of a crowded restaurant, all because I offered to pay. FML

#18249751
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30413) - you deserved it (2702)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by Izamellayella (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Izamellayella's comment about their FML

I just now realized that this was posted, and, yes, I do realize that it was more than two months ago.

He was actually my friend's old roommate, and she introduced us around a year ago. We didn't really interact that much but I thought that he was nice, so when he asked me out, I decided that I'd at least give him a chance. For the record, it wasn't some elaborate ultra-expensive fancy restaurant, but the meal certainly wasn't cheap. I've been in the habit of offering to pay for my meals for a while now, and I certainly wasn't expecting that kind of reaction for him.

And no, I don't think that the guy paying for the date is sexist. I don't see why the girl can't pay sometimes, though, and I was just trying to be nice. If he'd wanted to pay, he could have told me instead of freaking out like that. He never called me back after that, but even if he did, I wouldn't have gone on another date with him.

I enjoyed reading your comments! Most of you guys are really funny.

See all the comments

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

#18240812
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21025) - you deserved it (78148)

On 11/13/2011 at 8:11pm - misc - by honeybadger123 - United States (Massachusetts)

honeybadger123's comment about their FML

yea it was purple haze

See all the comments

Today, I got married. About five minutes after I got my huge wedding dress on, I had to pee. It took three people to help me not pee on my dress, and my bridesmaids took pictures. FML

#18225730
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you deserved it (9443)

On 11/12/2011 at 3:30am - love - by summinay - United States (Tennessee)

summinay's comment about their FML

Guys, my dress wasn't elaborately big. It just has many layers. And yeah I've already laughed about it. Haha.

See all the comments

Today, I picked up a broken piece of seemingly velvety cactus to show my mom. I now have a million microscopic, painful splinters in my fingers. FML

#18174548
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9798) - you deserved it (35755)

On 11/06/2011 at 1:24pm - health - by OhHeySlogan - United States (Texas)

OhHeySlogan's comment about their FML

I'm the OP. That's what I did and it worked. Haha I'm still finding a few stragglers though.

See all the comments including 11 other original poster's reactions

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

#18170638
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (16005)

On 11/06/2011 at 1:14am - misc - by XxFA1LxX - Canada (Alberta)

XxFA1LxX's comment about their FML

It was a deflection. It's not like I was stupid enough to purposely shoot on my own net.

See all the comments

Today, I watched Change-Up with my dad. He made us leave half-way through the movie, because he thought I was too young to watch a movie this explicit. I'm 25. FML

#18167613
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26547) - you deserved it (2801)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:58pm - misc - by mimiani (woman) - Nigeria

mimiani's comment about their FML

I am a woman and it was really awkward watching it with my dad.

See all the comments

Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML

#18155533
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10645) - you deserved it (28776)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:32am - work - by psychteacher - United States (North Dakota)

sharkey131313131's comment about their FML

this is the original poster. yeah...i was having an off day. in my defense, normally there's a small little power button on the top of the projector and that's all i've ever needed to use. someone must have messed with it though, because evidently there's a bigger power button on the side, and that's the one i missed. i felt like an idiot :( and i'm a graduate school TA...

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

#18155186
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26222) - you deserved it (2514)

On 11/04/2011 at 7:59am - health - by sakura_girl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

sakura_girl's comment about their FML

Patient needs routine blood investigations; medical student needs more experience. That's the gist of it.

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

#18147886
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28026) - you deserved it (5767)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by peonypiney (woman) - United States (Florida)

peonypiney's comment about their FML

This is my FML. YES, she is extremely blonde and believe it or not, a straight A student. I have never noticed she said it that way before until she had it written down. I've never caught it because we usually say "Book Bag". Her older brother finally convinced her through mockery and laughter.

See all the comments

Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML

#18130570
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24401) - you deserved it (2687)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:05pm - work - by 9726 - Canada (Ontario)

9726's comment about their FML

In Canada you need a gun licence to own firearms. To actually carry one you need to qualify annually with your company and they apply for your ATC (authorization to carry) I requalified in August and reminded my manager in September. He forgot to apply for my ATC. Nothing I could do to prevent this.

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I learned that all of the anonymous Valentine's gifts I received throughout high school were sent out of pity by my sister. FML

#18118715
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28705) - you deserved it (2616)

On 10/31/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by Mister_Triangle - United States

Mister_Triangle's comment about their FML

Well I've been out of high school for over a year now and my other sister (who knew for some reason) let it slip while we were discussing valentines day.

I played it off like I already knew, but I secretly died a little inside.

See all the comments including 6 other original poster's reactions



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: