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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

#20547094
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31667) - you deserved it (7387)

On 03/17/2013 at 1:05am - love - by jisaac09 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

jisaac09's comment about their FML

"In there" as in in the same room.

We just got done eating and I guess something didn't agree with her. I guess this beats the alternative (shitting in the floor outside the bathroom).

She was kind enough though to flush. I turned my head upside down and let the scolding hot water run into my nose.

I feel clean.

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Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I spent an entire raffle game desperately praying that I'd lose miserably, just so I wouldn't have to go up on stage and accept it. FML

#20545653
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26567) - you deserved it (5239)

On 03/16/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by Minou (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Minou's comment about their FML

I didn't enter the raffle on purpose! It was a work event, and they gave us a ticket when we came in the door without telling us exactly what it was for. They had us rip them in half and keep one, then put the other in a container. I thought it was for attendance, or the food, or something. Then, toward the end of the event, they started drawing tickets and calling out the numbers on them for various prizes.

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Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

#20543100
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27480) - you deserved it (17221)

On 03/14/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by WildaRora (woman) - Australia

WildaRora's comment about their FML

Hi guys, OP here. The dealer was femalel, I doubt she was older than 25 and we managed to laugh it off. After me nearly dying from embarrassment she actually asked what the book was. And no, it wasn't 50 Shades of Grey. It was not just the description of the act that was so bad, it was the moans and groans that the narrator put along with it. It sounded like really bad porn - not that I know what that sounds like!

Thing is I was shocked when it came up in the audiobook, which is why it was stopped at that part. Later on I listened to the rest of it and boy was I glad that I managed to stop it when I did. I am really thankful that I found out about this feature before I took my parents for a drive.

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Today, due to a flat tire, I only had 20 minutes to complete a 35 minute walk to catch my train. I ended up sprinting up the snow-covered frozen hill in heels, luggage in hand, only to arrive 1 minute in time, and to find out that the train had been cancelled. Next train in 1 hour. FML

#20541933
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34868) - you deserved it (2969)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by KK3137 (woman) - France

KK3137's comment about their FML

Actually, I'm 5 foot 1, so that explains the heels, and my brother was supposed to drive me, which is why I set out later in the first place.

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Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39994) - you deserved it (4439)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

OptimusVader's comment about their FML

Well I did mention it was rickety. It rocked while I dusted and it was just poorly made, overall. It tilted forward, the drawer slid out and I couldn't catch it in time. Then BAM! Sudden singing light show from an old woman's rabbit.

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Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

#20539688
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36743) - you deserved it (3186)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm - misc - by Sir_ND_Pity - United States (California)

Sir_ND_Pity's comment about their FML

Hey, guys. OP here. I know the wording makes it a bit confusing, but, yes, someone somehow spit into my bowl from the second floor :-/ unfortunately, I didn't see who did it so I wasn't able to even so much as confront them about it. I guess you could say I'm an unfortunate cookie!

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Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

#20539225
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21768) - you deserved it (14435)

On 03/11/2013 at 4:37am - kids - by MissShei (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

MissShei's comment about their FML

OP here. She has recently been having nightmares and keeping us up half the night. We were both exhausted so we said fine. I got up to go pee and when I came back, she had thrown my pillow on the floor and completely took over my side of the bed. If I moved her, she would've started screaming again and I just wanted sleep. I let her father deal with her at that point! I did sleep well for the rest of the night :)

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Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

#20538070
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56596) - you deserved it (6829)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by themouseman1212 - United States

themouseman1212's comment about their FML

I'm trying to. It's been a long time. But I'm still hopeful. Just trying to be the best husband and father I can be. Thanks for the support.

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Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

#20537944
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47574) - you deserved it (8932)

On 03/10/2013 at 9:40am - intimacy - by cremyfrozentreat - United States (Florida)

cremyfrozentreat's comment about their FML

You're right, I did not plug his nose. I was too busy laughing at the whole situation. He shoved his nose into my boob while he held my nose closed. I don't know how he managed to keep erect with everything.

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Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

#20530966
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35574) - you deserved it (6846)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by claytwin - United States

claytwin's comment about their FML

My first FML to get published and I am not proud of this moment but I did waddle back to my dorm to take a shower, and then I continued on with my life.

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Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20307) - you deserved it (43863)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:01am - love - by DEATHBYEX1LE - Australia

DEATHBYEX1LE's comment about their FML

I know the difference, I just made a simple mistake....

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Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

#20526473
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (3872)

On 03/01/2013 at 12:21am - love - by thenewgirl29 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

thenewgirl29's comment about their FML

I am OP. I have known the guy for 7 years and the pic was something my son and I drew for him. haha just seemed like an odd response

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Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53911) - you deserved it (3921)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

n3ov's comment about their FML

oh she is

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