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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (5759)

On 07/24/2013 at 8:03am - animals - by cheekychimp23 - United Kingdom

cheekychimp23's comment about their FML

Just so people know I'm not a terrible dog owner - we have been to the vet numerous times and they told me it happens because her tail was docked too short when she was a puppy! I feed her oil but sadly it does not help. Sigh. Keep squeezing I guess. FML.

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Today, after our grandmother's memorial service, my 9-year-old sister took it upon herself to solemnly inform the priest in front of everyone in attendance that, "You lied. Jesus isn't here." FML


I agree, your life sucks (35261) - you deserved it (4513)

On 07/23/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by bri_sci94 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

bri_sci94's comment about their FML

My immediate family isn't religious, but my grandparents were. My sister was not harshly reprimanded or anything of the sort as she has not been exposed to religion and doesn't understand it at this point in her life. Thank you for all of your kind comments; I wasn't close with my grandmother but it's still a heartbreaking event.

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Today, I sold ice cream to a group of kids. One of them looked sad, because he was the only one who couldn't buy any, so I gave him some for free. Apparently, he was allergic to something in it, and ended up being rushed to the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52169) - you deserved it (6996)

On 07/23/2013 at 2:28pm - work - by Snarty (man) - United States

Snarty's comment about their FML

hey thanks for the comments guys. to answer a few questions neither the kid nor the parent knew he was allergic. aparently he reacted to the red food coloring which caused him to break out in a full body rash the poor little guy was so upset. but now we know he isn't allergic to all ice cream so I told him and the mom they will have free ice cream on me for the rest of the year... as long as it doesn't have red dye! Thanks to all who commented,

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Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47573) - you deserved it (3108)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:16pm - work - by OfficeDroneWoman (woman) - United States (Maryland)

OfficeDroneWoman's comment about their FML

OP here.

Some of you noticed it said "woman." Yes, I'm a woman. That's why her complaint made no sense. Glad to report, though, that after a couple days HR got back to me and said I was off the hook, and told her that if she makes any more accusations like that, she'll be fired. She can't even look me in the eye now.

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Today, one of my bosses said, "You're going to take this as an insult, but it's not. At a certain age, women are supposed to cut their hair short." I have long hair. My bosses have all of the social skills of the guys from Big Bang Theory. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37680) - you deserved it (3348)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:23am - work - by Irreverend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Irreverend's comment about their FML

I talk to customers on the phone. People wear shorts and printed t-shirts to work. Several people walk around without shoes - including one of the owners. I, on the other hand, tend to dress up a bit. Image isn't the issue.

This is the same place where, over 20 years ago, I decided to wear a skirt one day and one of the owners commented "she does have legs!"

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Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (5011)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Parentalfailure's comment about their FML

This is OP, here to clear a few things up. For the person who asked, it was a male/female couple. He had pulled out a knife on the girl and that set the guy into attack mode or something, since he started punching my son in the face. The girl pushed him down and then the guy pinned him till the cops showed up. Yes, the call came from him asking for bail, which I did NOT post. He has been involved in illegal activities since he was 17, and this was the final straw. His trial starts in about a week (this happened about six months ago) and the prosecution is going for armed robbery. I hate to say it but I hope they get a conviction, he needs a wake up call. For those who posted supportive comments thank you, for those who blamed me, it is probably my fault for how I raised him. Hope this clears some things up. OP

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Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47252) - you deserved it (3433)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by 27161697 - United States (Massachusetts)

27161697's comment about their FML

hey I'm the OP and what happened was that we were both sleeping in the same room (well she was asleep) and she started snoring so i yelled at her which woke her up. then she realized that she had to use the bathroom so half asleep she took her bathrobe off and sat on the toilet. she fell back asleep because she went to bed about 2 hours before and had to wake up in another 2 hours to catch a plane. my mom is only 50 and i am 15. by the way all of your comments made me laugh and yeah i really do wish that memory would erase!

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Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46998) - you deserved it (24406)

On 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by gavinbanks - United States (Oregon)

gavinbanks's comment about their FML

Hey everyone! Op here, thought I'd clear some things up. I had my phone on me but it was dead that night. I actually saw the girl again last night at another party, I told her the story and she have me her number again! Everything worked out for the best I guess, Thanks for the funny comments everyone!!!

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Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45852) - you deserved it (7705)

On 07/21/2013 at 9:26am - love - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States

Carebeareatu's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here. I agreed to the Jesus as the best man but not the tux. No, I'm not going to dump him or call the wedding off because of his ideas, since it isn't just the woman's day but his too. It isn't too terrible to have have a little spunk at Our wedding ;P

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Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41872) - you deserved it (9041)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

accountnamevalid's comment about their FML

It was a Greyhound, and I'd been up for 2 days. He didn't say a word to me about it. After I was told by the lady behind me, I apologized profusely, and he said "it's alright. I figured you must really need the sleep." Super nice guy, but I wanted to die.

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Today, I woke up with a half-shaved head, thanks to the friends I let crash at my place last night. I have work in an hour and a half, and they hid my hair clippers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37873) - you deserved it (4471)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:47am - work - by Eisenhorn (man) - United States

Eisenhorn's comment about their FML

Thanks for all the great replies, it is awesome to have one of my stories put up. My friends were kind enough to give me back my clippers before work, so I had enough time to get ready. To give a better image to everyone, my hair was about shoulder length and very curly. On the plus side, it is a lot cooler for me now than it previously was. We were able to have a good laugh about it, and I have payback to look forward to.

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Today, after being unemployed for almost two years, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from my bedroom window. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49215) - you deserved it (4343)

On 07/19/2013 at 8:31am - work - by yoshithecat - United Kingdom (Slough)

yoshithecat's comment about their FML

I don't live on a hill, the building where I would've been working is a bit tall as well which works into me being able to see it from my window. The building is all of a mile from my flat. No, lol it isn't the Shard!

I did express this to them and their response then was telling me they found someone more suited for the position. I have no clue why they didn't bother saying that in the first place though. A funny thought though, I put my postcode on my CV, so if they actually thought a little into the lie they fed me, maybe they'd have just stuck with the truth in the first place.

Thanks for all the positive feedback, sorry I wasn't more clear in the original post - expressing I was a mile away from the building. Hopefully I'll get a job soon! *crosses fingers*

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Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59589) - you deserved it (2889)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by Kat_Styles - United States (Michigan)

Kat_Styles's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here.
So as a quick update, there are several things I want to add.
1. My dentist was 65, very healthy, and his passing was very unfortunate. But now he's with his wife, who passed away from breast cancer about three years ago.
2. It says 'Employee' at the top because my mother was one of his dental hygienists, and I had worked for him as a secretary for a few months before he died.
3. The dental hygienists in the office obviously started CPR right away. They even shocked him twice, but he wasn't responding to anything. Paramedics took him away in an ambulance, but nothing they did was successful. It's quite ironic because my dentist always used to joke that he required his hygienists to have lots of CPR training, etc, because he was the one who was going to need it. We always thought he was kidding, but unfortunately, that was exactly what happened.
4. For those of you saying 'she deserved it' or 'why didn't she start CPR,' or 'her breath killed him lol,' understand a few things. One, I don't see how I deserved it, but that's your opinion. Two, I'm 19, I don't know how to perform CPR, and within a minute, there were three certified, trained, professionals tending to him. Three, even if it was possible to kill someone with your breath, my mom is a dental hygienist. My teeth are quite nice, if I do say so myself.
Thanks for all your nice messages, and I hope you never have to experience something as terrible as I did.

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