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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

#20882407
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38442) - you deserved it (8050)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by LolAtMyPosts (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

LolAtMyPosts's comment about their FML

For those who care, no, I didn't give him my address, I'm not an idiot. He just knows the city I live in, because I'm sure I've mentioned it during a group chat. He and I are NOT in a relationship in any way, shape, or form. I barely know him. He's had this weird obsession with me for a while. We talk about once every other day, and have two types of conversations. The most common is: 'Hi, how are you? Good? Glad to hear you're good. Have a nice day.' And that's it. The less common and more creepy is him asking: 'Can I buy you stuff? Can I have your address so I can send you stuff? Do you like jewelry? I'm going to come visit you ;)' He doesn't know my real name, nor do I know his. He doesn't know what I look like, only what I sound like on a mic. We only know each other through our gaming community, and nothing more. :/

I have broken all ties with him, and deleted him off my friends' list (because that's the ONLY way he could contact me). Dude needs to grow up and get his head checked.

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Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

#20881880
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43778) - you deserved it (4244)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:05am - animals - by Madster15 - Australia (Victoria)

Madster15's comment about their FML

OP here, I actually found it rather cute more than annoying, when I'm out though the cats will be too. vasoline and Vicks on the tap? no thanks, that would make ME avoid the taps too. changing the faucets all over my house could be more expensive than anything. the cat puns....please don't. number 23 should also be shunned, cat hater. lastly, I should point out I have three cats because one was stray, if I give him to a shelter she will be killed because she is rather unfriendly at times.

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Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

#20881728
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47807) - you deserved it (5731)

On 09/15/2013 at 12:12am - misc - by sommmerrrr - United States (Virginia)

sommmerrrr's comment about their FML

I didn't think this would be posted so fast! But thanks for all the comments, they made my stepmom and me laugh our butts off. But we just went into a different line. Wasn't that big of a deal. But the granny didn't even say thank you! It was a little awkward seeing as they were so old but we still let that grandpa get in front of us. But thanks again for the comments guys!

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Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45741) - you deserved it (7814)

On 09/14/2013 at 11:30am - misc - by sammieshortcake - United States

sammieshortcake's comment about their FML

He was actually joking when he said it. I just thought it was funny because of the way he said it like he was being all romantic, so I submitted it. So stoked it got published!

And to the person who said yeah "our" favorite show-it was Game of Thrones, which is both of our favorite shows. lol

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Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

#20880509
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49825) - you deserved it (7057)

On 09/14/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by Stripes_And_Dots (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Stripes_And_Dots's comment about their FML

Firstly, I'm not insane or anything. I have chronic depression and very negative self-esteem. I was talking to her over facebook, so she didn't see me have a flip out. I actually have quite a few friends, but since finishing high school last year everyone is so busy working or at university that we rarely have any time to hang out. I had three friends in high school who I was especially close to and two of them pretty much shut me off. For about a year now every time I've asked them to hang out they've said no, one of the blatantly lies about being busy or tired because she just can't be bothered. The other one, the one I asked, has moved out of home and has been struggling to pay rent and bills, so she's been working lots. I'm so used to hearing them say no, that when she said yes it shocked me and I didn't know how to react - hence triggering the panic attack. Once I'd calmed down I was excited and we're going to have lunch on Monday :)

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Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

#20880481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39061) - you deserved it (2940)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:51am - health - by Norvi (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Norvi's comment about their FML

OP here, to quote a song from Johnny Clegg "these are the days of miracles and wonders" - my mom called a plumber, now to survive the weekend until help arrives.

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Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43857) - you deserved it (3298)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Carebeareatu's comment about their FML

op here. I don't know why they did. I dont want to know why they did.

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Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

#20879710
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54557) - you deserved it (3337)

On 09/13/2013 at 3:02pm - love - by Amsterdamned13 - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Amsterdamned13's comment about their FML

To everyone: she told me in a funny way after seeing the phone. He is an EX now, and for now most deff no contact with her. Thanks for kind and also unkind words. Gr from Amsterdam

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Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

#20879472
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43896) - you deserved it (7949)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:49am - money - by Kaka_Karrot_Kake - United States (Texas)

Kaka_Karrot_Kake's comment about their FML

Ok to clear things up, I was walking home and he asked for money. He looked, and even SMELLED like a homeless person. Sure enough, I gave him money and all of a sudden he got up and started walking and I saw him take out an iPhone 5 and call his friend. I heard him say, "Lol dude it worked!" Sorry I wrote so much ._. And no he was NOT really homeless

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Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

#20878116
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52596) - you deserved it (3669)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:47am - misc - by baxeh - Sweden (Skane Lan)

baxeh's comment about their FML

Well, it's not the most dashing sweater, and i know it's an easy mistake to make. No point in getting upset over nothing really. Just felt like the moment belonged on this site, i'm glad the FML got posted, and thank you for all your comments!

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Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58377) - you deserved it (3405)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Iskylite's comment about their FML

the doctor said it could've lived inside me for 30 years. I'm glad they got it out :) and yes I'm feeling much better :)

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Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

#20874135
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (3497)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:30am - animals - by StefanKa - Poland (Mazowieckie)

StefanKa's comment about their FML

OP here, I know that and I let them out all the time but I just didnt expect to find shit between the wall and the cage, where none of them can enter.

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Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

#20872474
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51816) - you deserved it (3876)

On 09/08/2013 at 1:56am - misc - by vrossie_ - United States

vrossie_'s comment about their FML

Yea it was clever. I shared it to my Biology class and they all laughed.

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