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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

#19985337
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (13528)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:20pm - health - by memphis201 - United States (Kentucky)

memphis201's comment about their FML

Just for clarification, I always wash my hands before I use a tampon, but in this case it was an emergency, if you get what I mean by that. I also didn't have the kind that uses an applicator available so I had to actually put my hands up there for the tampon to function properly.

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Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (33295)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)

Infiltrator4444's comment about their FML

I told my father that it's something all guys do at least once, and that he probably did too, to which he replied, "Son, I don't have enough to measure."

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Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

#19983521
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (2694)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:08pm - love - by Itstrickyyxx (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Itstrickyyxx's comment about their FML

Hey guys. OP here. He's not a truck driver, he has a pretty damn good paying construction job. There ARE other jobs besides truck driving that require long times away!!
Also, it will be for at least 2 years :(

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Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

#19983521
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (2694)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:08pm - love - by Itstrickyyxx (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Itstrickyyxx's comment about their FML

OP here again. Wow i haven't been on this site in forever. I can't even see him every month now, I see him every few months, and of course, ALWAYS ON MY PERIOD. That's life I suppose. And no I can't do birth control to EVERYONE who said it, all kinds effected me badly! :)

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Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

#19982662
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9588) - you deserved it (51050)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:10am - health - by xd3box - United States (North Carolina)

xd3box's comment about their FML

I don't usually see people coming back to comment on their own FMLs, but I wanted to see what people had to say. 136, I don't make a habit of walking by smokers. I've just had a few too many family members diagnosed with lung cancer from what should be called a lethal drug. I wasn't trying to be condescending with my remarks. I was simply giving a harsh reality in a way that could possibly cause him
To put the cigarette down. To add on I'll ask a question to everyone: How angry would you be if you found out you had lung cancer or emphysema some second-hand smoke?

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Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

#19981850
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (2228)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:25pm - misc - by Gremlinswife (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Gremlinswife's comment about their FML

I charge them rent but also pay them to babysit. They have a pretty sweet deal. My Husband works out of province i'm essentially a single mother 2 week of each month and my youngest son has special needs. Laundry is very low on my list of things to do in my kids waking hours lol

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Today, my landlord decided to have people visit my apartment since I'm moving out next month. She had warned me about potential visitors this week but didn't specify when. I work the graveyard shift and apparently the fact that I was sleeping in my room during the visit didn't bother her at all. FML

#19981153
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19298) - you deserved it (1519)

On 07/24/2012 at 6:26am - misc - by mightymart - Canada (Quebec)

mightymart's comment about their FML

I would have stayed awake if she would have called before, not like it happens often

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Today, I found out my sister-in-law is getting married. She is one of my best friends, and was my maid of honor when I got married. She's asked me to serve punch at hers. FML

#19957731
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24211) - you deserved it (2383)

On 07/19/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by alaskaintexas - United States (Texas)

alaskaintexas's comment about their FML

Her maid of honor is already married, and she's not getting married for the second time. I just married her brother. And btw, I'm planning her wedding with her mother, not her.

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Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

#19945940
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6310) - you deserved it (42117)

On 07/16/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by AlbertEinstein_ (woman) - Ireland

AlbertEinstein_'s comment about their FML

This is my FML, i had to make an acc to comment!
I know, people, this was so incredibly stupid!! I have no idea why the hell I thought that would be a good idea, I think I wanted to check if there was salt in it before I left the kitchen (no idea how smelling it would clarify) so that I wouldn't have to get back up! I totally deserved this one, and I will surely never, ever do this again! My original FML had "And yes, it is possible to be this stupid" at the end, but that must've been edited out :( And I put the name Albert Einstein cause it was ironic or something, I don't know. But I certainly didn't think I was smart or anything....And my eyes still hurt :(

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Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

#19921865
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25140) - you deserved it (2399)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:04am - kids - by rkbkate - United States (Alabama)

rkbkate's comment about their FML

This was my post thanks for all the comments guys Haha my brother has a rude awakening coming soon Haha and he is no longer able to touch my keys.

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Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML

#19918539
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25253) - you deserved it (3417)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by eggmarie - United States (Ohio)

eggmarie's comment about their FML

Going to answer major questions here:
I'm a college kid. I live alone and have a small fridge. I shop at Walmart with coupons and that's how I managed to fill my fridge on $100.
I have AEP and the power was on for a bit before it went back off (not enough time for the fridge to get cold again) so I assumed I was okay. Apparently it was a "test run"
I borrowed coolers from family and got some ice. I just moved here a few weeks ago and haven't met many new people so I'm stuck at my house.
Thank you for the well wishes and crossing my fingers that it's back sooner than anticipated!

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Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

#19913171
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (2777)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)

wetandnaked's comment about their FML

OP here: Doctor says it's most likely due to the low blood pressure I didn't know I had prior to that visit. He suggested I include more salt in my diet, and that's about it. Also, I woke up with a towel draped over me, I'm definitely female, and no, the soap didn't smell like chloroform hahaha.

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Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

#19908872
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26754) - you deserved it (3338)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:42am - love - by confusedbutloved (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

confusedbutloved's comment about their FML

This is my FML and his son is back in his country, Cabo Verde. He only found out about his son when he came to America and couldn't afford to go back, so they've never actually met. There's no paternity test yet, but it's obviously his. I'm 20 and he's 21. We talked about being together for years, which could turn into marriage. I always thought we'd have kids together, so this shocked me. I love children and I've dated men with kids before. It just hurt to realize that he kept it from me all this time. I love him and I'd never leave him. I'd adopt his child if he asked; I love kids. I just wish he'd told me from the beginning, that's all. My love for him hasn't changed; I just want him to be able to tell me anything.

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