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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML

#20519323
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26045) - you deserved it (2198)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - work - by Migole (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Migole's comment about their FML

Those were still fine luckily but in general it can expire, yes. It becomes all grey and greasy and tastes like soap. Not nice :/

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Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35625) - you deserved it (2533)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:46am - love - by BadAssBandit897 (woman) - Canada

BadAssBandit897's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here...I can't believe I forgot to log in :P anyways, I decided to be completely honest with the guy and end things. It was a little scary, seeing as he also knows where I live. He was in denial at first, but in the end he accepted that I wasn't interested. I still can't get a good night's rest though...

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Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML

#20516366
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32623) - you deserved it (2840)

On 02/21/2013 at 3:45pm - money - by AKGrace (woman) - United States (Alaska)

AKGrace's comment about their FML

OP here! I appreciate everyone's feedback and helpful comments! Although I make considerably less than most of my coworkers because I have only been here about 7 months, I have no room to complain. I just thought this story would make a good FML. Me and my boyfriend make a decent living on our own and this situation happened after I had to fork out some money on some unexpected expenses! I do pack my own lunch about 4 out of 5 days and have actually been working on budgeting a lot more! Even reading Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover.. I have definitely noticed a lot of money saved by not eating out as much as I used to!

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Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to what was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML

#20514453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22395) - you deserved it (5629)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

MeanGina's comment about their FML

Hello, OP here. Sorry I was a little ambiguous. To clarify, I mean a $2/hour raise. I didn't even think about how they handle salaries in other countries. Sorry. Second, this was a department wide raise, not specific to me, so my performance had nothing to do with it. I think the final bit of contention was why would I move across state for less than a $2/hr raise. Well, I'm desperate, for one, and it was around a $1.50/hr raise. Also, most of my family lives in the area that I am moving to, so I figured if I kept having financial problems I at least wouldn't end up homeless. I'm at the point where I just don't have enough to pay my bills (which are mainly student loans), so I just had to get more income...

What makes it even worse is that if I had been able to stay, I would have been eligible for a $3/hr raise after a few months...for a total of $5 more an hour than I make now. No such luck at the new place. And I *did* discuss this move with the company, the raise was passed down directly from the top of the company and my boss knew nothing about it until a week before I was set to transfer. I couldn't back out because I had already officially accepted the new position. So yeah, FML.

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Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

#20512105
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16274) - you deserved it (38456)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

phatdaddy62's comment about their FML

Im a criminal defense and divorce lawyer. That prank might not have desirable results!

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Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML

#20510431
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (3906)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:20am - misc - by bananamontana85 - United Kingdom (Wigan)

bananamontana85's comment about their FML

To be fair, my Fiance and friend were just giving me a bit of joky banter. Obviously I wouldn't want to marry the guy if he couldn't stand the sight of me without make-up! As for the guy who wolf-whistled me... good for him, I hope I made his day. Fair enough if people get offended by it, but I don't :)

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Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

#20510358
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34855) - you deserved it (3720)

On 02/17/2013 at 3:02am - kids - by Lesser (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Lesser's comment about their FML

OP here. Having been 'blessed' with a bodacious bustline since early teens, I am used to men having difficulty maintaining eye contact with me, but my nephew has taken it to a new level. I thought that we might have an interesting day because when he came into my room in the morning, one of the first things he said to me was "Boobies gone!" and I said yes, boobies are gone because I was dressed. He then kept on saying 'bring boobies back!', in other words, show him my breasts. And of course I wouldn't. We then go shopping, he got tired and cranky, and thus ended with this situation.

He normally is the loveliest and sweetest kid you could imagine. An absolute treasure. I am not just saying that because I am his Aunt. However he does have this obsession with breasts. Well mine in particular. I look very similar to my sister, so I don't know, maybe its a comfort thing going back to when he was breast fed. Then again I have been told I have magically comforting breasts. But he only does it with me so it's not like he is attacking random women in the street asking to see their breasts.

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Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

#20509130
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (3685)

On 02/16/2013 at 3:47am - health - by Chuffberry - United States (Colorado)

Chuffberry's comment about their FML

OP here. on the preference sheet for the dorm rooms, i put that i have anxiety attacks, and my roommate put that they have anemia, but they don't sort you on your illnesses, they sort you on personality. Other than the temperature thing, we get along great.

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Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML

#20505133
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28722) - you deserved it (3728)

On 02/13/2013 at 4:01pm - kids - by mattrd (man) - United States

mattrd's comment about their FML

OP here. First off, I am a father. Not a mother. lol. for everyone who wonders how this could happen, I should have put the baby powder back in his diaper caddy, but for some reason I didn't. I have no reason just forgot I guess. And sometime during me preparing his lunch he went to his room grabbed it off his changing table and powdered the house until it was empty and longer any use to him. He is quick! I wish I had eyes on the back of my head. Thanks for all the people who were understanding.

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Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML

#20503623
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24810) - you deserved it (6788)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by bblubblerfisch (woman) - Austria (Wien)

bblubblerfisch's comment about their FML

Hey all. OP here.

First of all I'm glad this was posted, because when the first blotch came off, I was thinking 'Oh NO! This is so FML!' and yeah - here it is :)

And then - to clear up a few things:
1. This is not my first language and 'masking tape' was just what google translater told me 'Malerkrepp' means in English. Anyways: it was the right kind of tape, we used it on the whole house and it worked everywhere else except this particular wall because
2. there was a strange kind of 'wax' paint under a whole lot of other layers that apparently was not fit to be re-painted. Ours is a very old house and we didn't know the former owners used this. But I'm a lucky one. My fiancé filled the gaps in with painter's filling yesterday and after repainting all of it tonight I hope we will truly be done. Finally.

And 3. I certainly didn't leave the tape on for half a year! This is just the amount of time we have been working on the whole project.

#70 : I loved your comment! Thank you, this really helped and it's exactly what we are doing.

Have a nice day everyone! :)

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Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML

#20502274
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34622) - you deserved it (10640)

On 02/11/2013 at 1:17pm - kids - by juno_op (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

juno_op's comment about their FML

Hiii, I'm the OP. thanks for all the lovely comments, although there's a few that aren't very nice. I'm 24 btw, not 16, and I did use birth control, but you do know it's only 99% safe, right? These things can sadly happen. And we broke up because he was going.

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Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51055) - you deserved it (3740)

On 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by excusemeprincess (woman) - United States (New York)

excusemeprincess's comment about their FML

I'm the person who posted this. I just forgot to log in. Anyway, I DID kick him in his deku nuts and walk out on him. Thanks for all your hilarious comments guys. :)

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Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML

#20499270
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31761) - you deserved it (2276)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:39am - work - by sonnyrosa (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

sonnyrosa's comment about their FML

I'm sure there are labor laws that are supposed to prevent stuff like this, but when the roads are closed, and no one can get in (even the buses have stopped running, and a lot of people reply on those to get to work), there's nothing that can be done. I'm stuck here, but I'm getting paid for it... hopefully, this snow crap stops before tomorrow morning, otherwise, I'll be stuck again. It's still coming down like mad :S

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