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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

#20443892
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16555) - you deserved it (4751)

On 01/05/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by musicalducky (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

musicalducky's comment about their FML

Haha, now that I've noticed it, I would gladly exchange them if I could. Unfortunately I bought them at a craft market, and therefore have no way to return them.
I'll likely just hold onto them and possibly give them to someone as a gift. Or maybe I'll just wear them. They are really pretty until someone points out the lighthouses look like dicks.

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Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

#20443743
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21651) - you deserved it (5143)

On 01/05/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Pennepestoem (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Pennepestoem's comment about their FML

Hey this is the op. lol to #57 i have 38 d cup so i think yeah that's the reason. And i dont have a moustache it's just that i have a curvy body structure but really dont look like a man and i was also wearing a gray loose jacket at that time and yes my friend did stick up for me. Funny comments lol

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Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

#20443596
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20690) - you deserved it (4390)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:00am - health - by Dracoboxer357 - Canada

Dracoboxer357's comment about their FML

48- It's called Couvade's syndrome, I looked it up when I started randomly throwing up in public before she did with our first child.
It's also how we knew for sure we were pregnant with our second: I spontaneously puked out my truck window onto another car while driving through town. ;P I've gotten the whole roller coaster ride of emotions through two pregnancies already, I'm pretty sure it's just more of the same now. :)

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Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

#20443231
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24801) - you deserved it (7765)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:30am - love - by VampObsessed - United States (Texas)

VampObsessed's comment about their FML

OP here. My key only works on the front lock so I couldn't use any other doors and our windows don't operate to allow anyone in. I had to call my boyfriend to come over and move it for me so I could get in. Recently the spare bedroom I workout in has been overtaken by gnomes and I've opened my bedroom door to a gnome in the hallway. He even put it in the shower. This is not a good way to help me get past my phobia.

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Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

#20440980
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28816) - you deserved it (2245)

On 01/03/2013 at 3:35pm - kids - by PrezKisame (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

PrezKisame's comment about their FML

My door doesn't lock. Problem

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Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

#20429719
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34827) - you deserved it (2780)

On 12/29/2012 at 10:23am - health - by Amathiel (woman) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Amathiel's comment about their FML

Additional info from OP here:
Yes, I have a BF who has commented on it, but with humor. He's nicknamed them Bert and Ernie because of the size difference now.
Yes, I know it's a common thing, but it still isn't cool to walk around with half a boob on one side ;)

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Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML

#20429371
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (3559)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:41am - kids - by shadowreaper101 (man) - United States (California)

ShadowReaper101's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here. First, I can't just hit a kid, even if he punched me. And second, his Dad wasn't in sight. So I couldn't have really done anything.

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Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

#20425327
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14064) - you deserved it (51954)

On 12/27/2012 at 4:47am - misc - by ashprove611 - United States (New York)

ashprove611's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here...Ok it was a couple days before Christmas that I ranted about it, and he had already bought me the bracelet. But It's not an FML because I hated the bracelet, it's an FML because I felt so bad about it and had no idea he got me one. The bracelet ended up being beautiful and thoughtful and I love it. The beads he got were the exact ones I would have picked out myself.

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Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML

#20423477
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40401) - you deserved it (4530)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:25pm - love - by annie_nk (woman) - United States (Utah)

annie_nk's comment about their FML

This is my FML. It was chicken, which we have an abundance of and generic 2-ply.

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Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

#20406772
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30491) - you deserved it (3393)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:17am - work - by ehrmagahd (woman) - United States (Texas)

ehrmagahd's comment about their FML

Yeah, I live in a town with 4 colleges in it and nearby, so it's very difficult to find a job. I've applied literally EVERYWHERE that I could even remotely be considered for, and this was the only option I had, so I took it, and I'm very grateful for it! Even if people tend to act like idiots towards me

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Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

#20406737
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (8936)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:02am - misc - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)

SApprentice's comment about their FML

I walk my cat on a leash and harness, instead of letting him roam, because I love him and do not want him to become lost to me. He really enjoys it and actually begs at the door to go for his walk. My neighbors are just trashy. They sit on their porches and loudly talk about the people who go by, which includes me whenever I try to walk my cat before I go to work. They are disturbingly proud of themselves, and seem to feed off of each other, with each malicious comment earning praise and support from their group. I... I just hate them so much. They don't seem to do anything. I don't know what they do for work. They're just always sitting on one of two porches, being dicks to everyone and adding new tidbits of trash to the landscape.

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Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

#20405707
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36984) - you deserved it (3657)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:53pm - misc - by Bajar - Australia

Bajar's comment about their FML

Hey all, OP here. To clarify a few things: it was at the airport lounge, the mother and son had a double couch together and I had a single chair next to the son. The water bottle was disposable and on a clearly visible pocket in my backpack. I still have no idea what I did wrong.

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Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28681) - you deserved it (2850)

On 12/16/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by emchocolat (woman) - Europe

emchocolat's comment about their FML

Thanks for your comments and highly original puns ! Just to clear the language issue up: "I was burgled" is correct British English (as opposed to American English) and means "Somebody broke into my house and stole things that belonged to me". "Burglarized" is the American synonym.

The site said I come from Europe - I do, but it's a big place. I come from England and I live in Mayotte, a French territory in the Indian Ocean.

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