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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

#21246328
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40557) - you deserved it (4040)

On 08/27/2014 at 8:24am - health - by KristaAaronn - United States (Tennessee)

KristaAaronn's comment about their FML

OP here! I also told her that they reason they made sporks was because they wanted to completely rid the world of forks

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Today, I tried to contact my college's financial aid office. After listening to the same damn "Our counselors are busy" message for over an hour, someone picked up the phone and hung up immediately. FML

#21246248
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (2760)

On 08/27/2014 at 3:07am - money - by drayloon (man) - United States (California)

drayloon's comment about their FML

Good to know I'm not the only one the system bends over and goes to town on. But as far as driving out there to speak to them in person goes, it's about a 9 hour drive assuming there isn't too much traffic, which there usually is, so that's not a particularly viable option

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Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

#21246120
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39490) - you deserved it (4156)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by LolKaleb - United States (Texas)

LolKaleb's comment about their FML

It got posted yay. Well some were asking why I showered while friends were over. I had came from the gym and I left my door unlocked for them to come in since they were walking distance away. As I came back sweaty I decided to shower so I wouldn't ruin the couch. As I got out my mom came in to give me a towel since she didn't want me using my old one but she so happened to come in at the same time as me getting out the shower. My friends are still talking about it so yeah I have a good 2 or 3 weeks left before it's over.

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Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML

#21245536
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29845) - you deserved it (9899)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:17am - misc - by DumbAndYoung (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

DumbAndYoung's comment about their FML

OP here, I can't believe this got posted! First of all, I was at school when this happened, I went during lunch. I left when lunch was about over and I had to go to class. I know I need to overcome my fears, I've been this way for a long time. I'm also very shy. I don't usually tell people about it because they just think it's pathetic or stupid. My anxiety influences actions I make on a daily basis, and it sucks. I appreciate the sympathy, and the tips! I'll definitely keep trying to overcome it.

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Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of bordom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

#21244661
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30861) - you deserved it (11657)

On 08/24/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)

annababyyyy's comment about their FML

Hi! Op here, I've been a loyal fml user for 4 years now and I can't believe this got posted! Let me just clear some things up:

The lecture was part of my summer camp - not college. I'm 16.

I wasn't taking notes because it was summer camp.

I wish I pretended it wasn't me, but I was so in shock I couldn't think straight!! Even the lecturer stared at me

My friends where there and laughed hysterically, and I quickly explained what happened. I am capable of laughing at myself, so it wasn't that bad.

as for all the fish puns- keep um coming!!

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secretninja64's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here. Thank you to all of those who are telling me that I can do better and that they don't need me. The job was at Taco Johns so I wasn't all too devastated to be fired. I would have liked them to tell me the real reason they fired me or come to me and tell me what I was doing wrong so I could have a chance to fix it before they fired me but sadly they were not mature enough to do that. The main manager at the store really didn't like me for some reason unknown to me so I'm guessing that's why she fired me. Unfortunately I do live in a state where they do not need a reason to fire someone. Needless to say I will be finding another job. Who knows, maybe I'll go work at Taco Bell, haha. Thanks again.

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Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

#21241178
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49915) - you deserved it (10260)

On 08/19/2014 at 7:37pm - love - by lentmarz - United States (Idaho)

lentmarz's comment about their FML

The story behind this is that when I proposed to my ex, and she said no, I was devastated. I hadn't really gotten over her, but my family set me up and I went out with her to humor them. We had a nice night and had gone out several times since.

As for the ring, the materials were worth about $4000 and I spent over 2 weeks smelting and hand designing it. I spent so much time on it, that it didn't feel right to sell it.

Also, I have made the decision never to see her again. So yes, I ran.

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Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

#21240597
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35384) - you deserved it (2529)

On 08/18/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by StephLo (woman) - United States (California)

StephLo's comment about their FML

No windshield damage that I could see, just sort of startling that she would throw a coin two lanes away during heavy traffic -___-

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Today, my roommate decided to throw a huge party in the early hours of the morning. I have to start at my new job soon, a window just got smashed, and I'm tired as hell. FML

#21239254
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34958) - you deserved it (3473)

On 08/16/2014 at 7:53pm - work - by auzziegirl1938 - Australia (New South Wales)

auzziegirl1938's comment about their FML

OP here, got an email saying it's been published, so woooo, cheerin on that one haha.
The story is that I moved in on campus recently, and my roommates aren't that bad but they're pretty out there. I was a little miffed, I had told them that I was starting a new job in the morning and that I was sick, they started partying just as went to bed and kept it up until about 3-4am, and I had to be up at 5.
As for the window being smashed, someone decided it would be fun to push the heater through the window. Apparently it was cold outside.
For the people saying things like "if you can't beat them join them" I don't think walking in after 0 hours sleep would confirm that job for me.
As for the window puns..! Keep them coming, love it haha keeping me very amused! ???

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Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

#21239054
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40738) - you deserved it (10554)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by Sara777boo - United States (Oregon)

Sara777boo's comment about their FML

This is my post, and let me explain :) I didn't realize it had fallen under the bed from the last nights sexy time. My dog found it and took it to her room before I even knew. But oh did my husbands fried spot it right away!

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Today, I found out that my doctor wasn't kidding when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur" with my new medication. I learned this while walking my dog a mile away from my house. FML

#21237717
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39247) - you deserved it (5283)

On 08/14/2014 at 9:09pm - health - by HauntedTwilight (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

HauntedTwilight's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here :)

I've never experienced any side effects from medication (until now), and when the doctor and I went over the side effects together he kind of chuckled when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur". The medication is cymbalta (anti-depressant) so I took it as a joke that an anti-depressant could cause such a side effect, and when he chuckled I really thought he was kidding. I was clearly wrong, haha.
Luckily, I was able to bolt home before anything extremely bad happened. My dog enjoyed the quick run a lot more than I did. Still easily one of the most embarrassing days of my life! I've earned the nickname "Shitty pants" from my 61 year old father who is never going to let me forget this. Shitty situation all around! :P

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Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML

#21237613
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (11089)

On 08/14/2014 at 6:40pm - health - by winstonweigand - United States (Washington)

winstonweigand's comment about their FML

Hey y'all it's OP here. This story was actually from a few years back, but someone asked me about the nasty scar on my leg and it reminded me of this event and how pathetic it was. This is how it happened:

My family was cleaning out all the cupboards in our kitchen, and when it came to the cans, my dad would open them, empty them and then throw the can in the trash. He tends to not give a shit about Mother Nature. I was tasked with taking the trash out. The can was at the bottom of the bag, facing outwards, and the bag was stretched tight, but it didn't split open so the can wasn't protruding.

I was swinging the bag back and forth because I was happy we were done, but when it hit my leg I felt a funny tickling feeling, only to look down and see blood gushing out of a large wound in my leg. Naturally, I was hysterical, because I had no idea how it had happened. The story actually gets funnier from here.

In my panic, I ran inside to my family, but since I was bleeding so much, I slipped on my own blood upon entering the kitchen and slammed into a wall head first. I never felt pain throughout the whole thing because of all the adrenaline. Next thing I knew I was in the hospital getting an anesthetic shot DIRECTLY into the gash, followed by a bunch of stitches.

Your comments were really funny hahaha, and yeah, we should have recycled, but I was just following my dad's orders! When I'm on my own, I always recycle. I guess Mother Nature punishes those who associate with environment criminals as well :)

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Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

#21237577
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34754) - you deserved it (2955)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by wasteroftime - United States (Texas)

wasteroftime's comment about their FML

OP here! Thank you all for the praise, I honestly did not think twice when I jumped up and performed the Heimlich maneuver on her. One thing I want to make clear here was not that my situation was worse than my friends, but the fact that the wait staff had no remorse about what had just happened although they stood there and watched me save her life. Learning the Heimlich can really be life saving before you know it :)

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