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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I was at my job as a bagger in a grocery store when I felt the intense need to shit. On my way to the bathroom, an elderly customer insisted I go with her to find an item she needed, despite my telling her exactly where it was and that I was in a hurry. I didn't make it back to the bathroom. FML

#21504421
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (1883)

On 12/16/2015 at 11:42am - work - by chocolateninja22 - United States (Arizona)

chocolateninja22's comment about their FML

OP here - I'd like to say it's funny how the first ever fml I posted got here, but anyway. As a point of clarification, the grocery store I work in is kind of like a Walmart, but more centered around food with a bit of clothes and shit like that. Basically the store is fucking huge. It's not unlikely to be able to walk the store and not see another employee on the floor who would be able to help. And what she needed was on the opposite side of the store to the bathroom. Yeah....luckily I only told my manager and she let me go home and clocked me out so I could just ditch. I haven't gotten any looks from coworkers so I may be in the clear

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Today, my sister finally came home from the hospital with my new baby nephew. When I got a chance to hold him, my mother mentioned that he looked a lot like me when I was a baby. My sister started crying. FML

#21504149
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20957) - you deserved it (1550)

On 12/15/2015 at 7:32pm - misc - by hi_im_ughlee (woman) -

hi_im_ughlee's comment about their FML

Turns out it was just hormones. As you can see, I am a girl, so that kinda set my sister off because she wants her son to look like a boy. Also, my sister and I looked very much alike when we were growing up, so that could be why my mother sees a resemblance in my nephew. Anyway, she said it was nothing against me she's just emotionally overwhelmed, but hey I got an FML and a laugh out of it! Thanks for the congrats, hope it made you all laugh too! (:

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Today, I found out that rats have made my car their new home. I haven't even finished paying it off yet. FML

#21503794
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (2134)

On 12/14/2015 at 9:16pm - misc - by InfestedCarOwner - United States (California)

InfestedCarOwner's comment about their FML

Hey Guys, OP here!

I'm amazed this got posted, haha. As for my rat situation - Thank you for all the suggestions. I'll definitely try and trap them in the sticky traps.

For anyone telling me to clean my car, I work in pizza delivery and my cars actually very clean. I have to clean it on a regular basis, But that doesn't mean it won't smell like food all the time.

A little extra backstory, Our neighbors had a rat infestation, too. We're assuming that whichever rats survived decided to make our trash cans their home, and since my car is right next to the trash cans, They got in.

Also, For the people saying to use cats - A family member suggested we use our kittens to get them out. Which I'm not going to do.

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Today, I got a concussion at work. Our resident schizophrenic decided to test how gravity worked by dropping a torch over the bannister directly onto my head. I'm still seeing stars. FML

#21503745
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (1268)

On 12/14/2015 at 6:09pm - work - by msizziec (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

msizziec's comment about their FML

Hello, OP here!

I work in a mental health and learning disability care home, so when I say resident I mean in the sense they live there. He's normally absolutely lovely, very quiet and calm, however something clearly snapped that day. I'll never know whether it was on purpose or not unfortunately! It was only a small torch (flashlight) but it was dropped about 10 ft directly onto my temple which was incredible aim if nothing else. It's not a locked unit so he's allowed stuff like that, however I did "misplace" it after the incident.

A trip to the hospital emergency department after my shift proved there's no long lasting damage other than a mild concussion.

After that though I've kept my distance from him... just in case!

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Today, I was talking to my boss at the end of an awesome internship. He said he was really satisfied with my work, and that he had considered hiring me. Turns out he decided not to because I smile too much and it unnerves him. FML

#21501836
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21976) - you deserved it (1783)

On 12/09/2015 at 10:26am - work - by Greenskies (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Greenskies's comment about their FML

OP here ! Just made an account so I could give you more details about it. It actually happened 2 years ago. I had a job that I really enjoyed, it was interesting and challenging at the same time, and about 10 colleagues that were really nice and fun, so yeah, I was in a good mood when I was there (apparently, that's a crime). Whenever my boss called me to his office, I always smiled a little out of politeness, and that's it.
So, I guess my boss made promises that he couldn't keep about hiring me, and he found a stupid excuse to fire me.
I would have preferred him to be honest about it.

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Today, my boss of six months asked me what country I'm from. I'm white and from the southern United States. I'm so quiet, he didn't think I spoke English. FML

#21501680
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (3306)

On 12/08/2015 at 11:01pm - work - by Macysdayparade8 - United States (California)

Macysdayparade8's comment about their FML

Op here. I was just trying to say that there are no obvious signs that I'm not from Georgia/from another country, where most people speak English.

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Today, my mom told me that when I choked on a tortilla chip yesterday, she was seriously planning on cutting my neck open and sticking a straw in it if I didn't stop, because she saw someone do it on 'E.R.'. Now I'm scared to have an emergency around her. FML

#21501639
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22132) - you deserved it (1489)

On 12/08/2015 at 9:08pm - health - by meg__1798 (woman) - United States (California)

meg__1798's comment about their FML

Hey guys its me OP,

To clarify, my mom told me that she was planning to do this only if the Heimlich maneuver did not work. I was choking on the chip pretty badly and could not breathe so she was thinking about the worst possible scenario. Luckily, I got it out and I am fine and no throats were cut. (This time). When she told me about her (bad) plan to perform a tracheotomy I told her about the scene with Sandra Bullock in The Heat and the dangers of doing one without training (and that TV does not count as training). I also may have mentioned that I would rather choke out and die than have my throat cut open with a steak knife on the kitchen floor.... Thanks for all of your comments!

-OP

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Today, I went to get minor surgery done. I have anxiety and a phobia of needles, so they gave me laughing gas. It gave me a panic attack. FML

#21501350
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20142) - you deserved it (2275)

On 12/08/2015 at 1:30am - health - by demideity - Canada (British Columbia)

demideity's comment about their FML

OP here. I couldn't post for the longest time as I was having a problem authenticating my account. Anyways, I looked up the symptoms for anxiety vs panic attack. While I have general anxiety, I do indeed get panic attacks as well. My symptoms mostly match up with a panic attack.

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Today, someone finally got the guts to punch my extremely rude mother in the face. My wife. FML

#21501199
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24325) - you deserved it (3519)

On 12/07/2015 at 6:21pm - love - by badbitch23 - United States (Texas)

badbitch23's comment about their FML

Op here, okay my wife's mother died 2 weeks beforehand and my mom thought it would be funny to make a joke out of it. So yes the punch was for sure justified. I haven't spoke to my mom since and I'm happily married with my wife.

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Today, my cat managed to digest some of the grass she ate. This makes her poop come out daisy-chained, and sometimes leaves a piece dangling from her ass on a string of grass. Then she runs around like crazy until it falls off, if possible on my bed. I had to catch her and pull it out by hand. FML

#21501158
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18754) - you deserved it (2200)

On 12/07/2015 at 4:04pm - animals - by DeeZeeMb (man) - Slovenia (Maribor)

DeeZeeMb's comment about their FML

When this happens, and it's a regular occurance, she goes crazy. She starts to run, then drops her ass on the ground and slides a little, decorating my flor with streaks of poop.

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Today, I was using a wooden toothpick to try to get at some food that was firmly lodged between my teeth. The toothpick broke and now I also have a splinter of wood jammed in there too. FML

#21500735
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21345) - you deserved it (2944)

On 12/06/2015 at 1:19pm - misc - by False_Stupidity - Australia (South Australia)

False_Stupidity's comment about their FML

Tried floss but that didn't work.

Ended up buying some plastic toothpicks and was able to eventually pry the food and splinter free.

I think I'll be using plastic from now on after this experience.

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Today, I was trying to get a piece of apple that was stuck in between my teeth. A chunk of my tooth came out instead. FML

#21500027
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22046) - you deserved it (2247)

On 12/04/2015 at 1:26pm - health - by whitnayfortooh (woman) - United States (Virginia)

whitnayfortooh's comment about their FML

I grind my teeth pretty violently at night which caused the chip. Not bad dental hygiene ;)

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Today, even though I've been studying and working with children and adolescents for the last 14 years, I've come to find that their parents' behavior tends to be worse than their children's. FML

#21500020
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (1572)

On 12/04/2015 at 1:17pm - work - by sarcasticjane (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

sarcasticjane's comment about their FML

OP here. Thank you all for your comments and stories. They definitely made my day. I am in the psychology field. When I first started in the field, parents were more apt to work WITH their children and change behaviors in the home. It was not something that took 14 years to realize as much as it's amazing how in just 14 years the parents have changed into the "fix my child" and don't want to work on their part of the issues. Not all parents; I still have a few good ones in the group, but that day was back to back parents. Thank you all again.

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