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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

#20197611
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10480) - you deserved it (60175)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:57am - intimacy - by SamWGovan (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

SamWGovan's comment about their FML

Funniest thing was i started laughing uncontrollably afterwards.

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Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML

#20197360
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5417) - you deserved it (73959)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by Tasha_1996 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Tasha_1996's comment about their FML

Hello everyone. I didn't know my FML got posted until now. This was more to express what an idiot I am than to be told I'm an idiot. For people asking questions, I'm 16 and live in Saskatchewan. A small town where there's fuck all to do. There is nothing wrong with my mothers parenting, I respect her for coming to get me and grounding me. I was grounded for another month after this happened and am going to addictions councelling starting the New year. I was out last night, first night off of grounding again and didn't have a sip of alcohol. Originally, I wasn't going to comment. But I figured you guys deserved an update. Yes I deserved it.

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Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

#20191850
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (1697)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:35am - love - by leannez (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

leannez's comment about their FML

This is OP. I approached them both long before they made they affair public. (Which they denied) But he literally sang the song to me to make sure I knew. I walked out before it was over.

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Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

#20191002
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53287) - you deserved it (4348)

On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

AllegroRubato's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here!

So yeah, after the fact, I also figured that she felt inadequate, in an "it's unfair that I don't get to please you" kinda way, but it's confusing because it's not like I didn't orgasm at all or anything. The way she reacted, though, was a bit over the top. We haven't been dating for that long, though so I'm confident these are just little bumps that we'll figure out on the march :)

Haha, and thank you very much to all the lovely ladies who flatter me with their comments. Sadly, I'm gonna have to (very) regretfully decline for now, since I really, really like my gf--even if she does go crazy from time to time! :D

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Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

#20190593
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18325) - you deserved it (5372)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:19am - animals - by SweetheartSusie (woman) - United Kingdom

SweetheartSusie's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here.

For all of those who suggest drowning/bludgeoning/killing my cat, shame on you. I really hope you don't have a pet.

For those of you who kindly suggested crating my dog, It's a good suggestion that I will keep in mind.

My home is a two bedroom affair, I don't have a spare room to shut them in.

My cat is a very nervous kitty, she was a kitten that came from a home with lots of young boys poking and prodding her and prefers the serenity and calmness I give to her. She becomes immensely stressed when I'm nowhere to be found.

As for the dog, he is actually my boyfriend's dog and his is a case of boredom. Without the cat to play with during the night, he becomes mischievous and searches for trouble. No matter how well you plan, you'll never get everything and inevitably, there will be something he's shredded. Be it bin contents, washing or, once, the cat litter. Despite the numerous toys he has available.

Our bed is a small double, and fitting a dog and a cat into the space barely meant to contain two adults is difficult. Adding a 2-year-old on top of that is a nightmare.

For the moment, we're resigned to continue things the way they are.

Your friendly OP - SweetheartSusie.

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Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

#20190552
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10818) - you deserved it (17212)

On 12/04/2012 at 3:12am - love - by superminty - Canada (Ontario)

superminty's comment about their FML

It was "ch-rain" versus "t-rain".

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Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

#20190508
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20755) - you deserved it (1542)

On 12/04/2012 at 2:10am - health - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)

SApprentice's comment about their FML

My co-worker is one of nicest people I know, he just kind of cringed and grunted, instantly beginning to tell me that it was okay. He knows I've been having trouble with that arm, so he doesn't hold it against me. I did give an apology several times though.

The customers, on the other hand, were all fairly immature college kids. It was their laughter that really embarrassed me.

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Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

#20183813
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18577) - you deserved it (2732)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:45am - misc - by pdin222 (man) - United States

pdin222's comment about their FML

Well, where to start. First, the car is a 1995 Geo Prizm. For all of you saying, "Hey bro, should of called the dealer.", that's not possible, seeing as how they went out of business around a decade ago. It was after market junk a previous owner installed, ‘cause lord knows every kid on the block wanted a Geo Prizm, and it would have been stolen in a matter of seconds. The remote was pretty well destroyed when I go the car, and finally just fell apart on my key chain about six months ago. So no, I wasn't going to buy a new remote for my bups of a car. I finally found the theft system and just pulled it out. I now have it pierced on a stick in my front yard, to warn the other anti theft systems. Also, for those saying, "Your an idiot", it is you're, not your.

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Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

#20182448
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (2003)

On 11/28/2012 at 10:14am - work - by hawksbc (woman) - United States (Iowa)

hawksbc's comment about their FML

Thankfully their aim was horrible. The darts were metal. Trust me. If I had the choice on whether or not they were allowed to play, I wouldn't have let them played. However, they had money, so the rule is they get to play.

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Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

#20181084
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18795) - you deserved it (4898)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:35am - love - by ToxxicAngel (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

ToxxicAngel's comment about their FML

Haha Oops_i_died, I can guarantee it's none of the ones you're thinking of :P I think the worst part was that I haven't even seen him in two months lol. I'm definitely going to try the "spray it until I get sick of it" cure though; thanks MissMess :)

perdix - Thanks for the offer, but I wasn't sniffing them on purpose. I was bent over to rub leave-in conditioner into my hair... lol

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Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML

#20179630
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12096) - you deserved it (36567)

On 11/26/2012 at 11:52am - kids - by ekm86 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

ekm86's comment about their FML

OP here. For those that question why I had girl baby clothes it is because I have clothes from when I was a baby. They are too big for him but I was bored. And for those that think that babies are entertaining 24/7 then you are obviously not a parent. I am home alone with my child for 7 hours a day and I don't really know very many people or go too many places. My mother-in-law doesn't believe in knocking so she has a habit of just walking in. Also, I intended for this to be a one time silly event between just my child and I perhaps with me telling my husband later. I had no intentions of taking pictures to share on FB or any other social media site. (In fact, my child isn't pictured anywhere online.) Also, if my son "turns out gay" I won't really care because a few of my family members are homosexual. Lastly, I could've let my baby play with his toys but he vastly prefers me entertaining him over his toys.

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Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27992) - you deserved it (1484)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

WritingWrongs's comment about their FML

But the dead bird I got this year was extra special!

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Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (2255)

On 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm - misc - by vanillatwilight2 (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

vanillatwilight2's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP Here! (I realised I wasn't logged in when I posted this FML) Just letting you guys know that I don't actually live in Auckland and I do live in one of the towns that could be affected by the volcano.

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