Boy, was my first time memorable. Still, when I recover, it's all bareback for me, I guess. :/

He refused to go with me on vacation because he said that Italy was too hot. You can ask him why he didn't want to go.
I put the chicken in a container and handed it to him because I figured if he wanted to keep it lying around the house while I was gone, he wouldn't mind eating it while he was finding a place that would take his lazy ass in.

ok...first...this trip had been planned by our church almost a year in advance, so everyone already had their tickets to go.
second...there were about 5 other people in our group that didn't like riding rollar coasters so we all went on the boat rides and the train rides, and to the shows.
third...my options were go to the amusement park and hang out with friends all day, or sit at the office for half the day and then go home by myself and do nothing.
fourth...i don't understand how deciding to have a child with your husband makes you a slut. can anyone explain that to me?
oh, and by the way being pregnant may make you slow, but it doesnt make you boring. boring would have been staying at the house doing nothing all day.

haha the comments are all great. I'll clarify a couple things:

1) I accidentally left my stick-on bra cups in a main part of the house where he easily found them

2) I was embarrassed that he found them and that I caught him but I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

It's "FML" because my dad was squishing my bras. It's "YDI" because I left them out where he found them.

I decided it was better to not embarrass both of us by confronting him and explaining what they are, so I just pretended I didn't notice and left the room.

this was me and no they were like 17. im 19 and my boss told me it was bad for buisness to have them loitering in our parking lot so i told them to leave. when i said no balls i figured he would walk away. the guy was strong as hell

Wow, didn't expect this many comments. I talked to my boss about it today. The coworker had actually lodged a complaint, but conveniently forgot to mention the whole thing about a lighter that looks like a gun. He doesn't work there anymore.

The main reason I thought I was going to lose my job was that he had worked there for a lot longer than I had. I've been there less than a year. I was worried that he could have said anything he wanted and I'd end up with the shit end of the stick just because I was new.

As for whether or not I over reacted, maybe I could have taken a moment to analyze the situation, but it's not like he was trying to take my wallet or telling me to do anything. He silently pointed a "gun" at me. The last time I spoke to him I had said to him was that his English sucked and he shouldn't be teaching (I work at an ESL institute). The next time I saw him, gun in the face. I asked a cop friend from the states about it, he said if someone pointed that at him they'd get shot.

Wow, my first FML post. It's actually a government organization, dating is prohibited because of "Conflict of Interest." We are close to the same size physically. We both wear the middle of road medium size. In all reality, its our last names on the shirt, but it still sucks.

ok everyone, im the OP, hear me out.

1. "..i've been treating her extremely well.." the reason why I said that was not because I'm a jackass, it was so you all knew that I didnt disrespect her or lie to her or anything, in case you would accuse me of being a shitty boyfriend. I wasn't at all. I used to surprise her with flowers occasionally, which I'd never done before with any other woman. (which does not mean i was a shitty boyfriend to my other girlfriends.. it just means i tried extra hard with this girl.)

2. all of you have been saying "well at least you didnt get to ask." Ok, yeah, I didn't say the words "will you marry me", but I had the ring in my hand and was about to get on one knee.. but before I could she stopped me.. so I'm guessing she realized that I was going to pop the question.

3. pimpin88 - once again, you have mistaken me for someone I am not. I was not clingy, I was just telling the world of FML that i really *DID* care about her.. I mean 5 years for god's sake.. sorry, i'm still bitter.. it's weird that you say that because in our relationship she always seemed to be interested in only me.. even in the last week that we were together it was all totally fine. I have no idea what happened. Nothing changed, at least I dont think...

I drive a 1974 VW Super Beetle...I HAVE NO AIR CONDITIONING!!! So my windows + the window wings are open to draw air in. The SUV hit it right (obviously) cause it hit my window and came through my side wing window. So GROSS...but it didnt stink or anything.

OP Here!
First off, the company ISP is based in Germany, but I'm in the Netherlands.
Secondly, I didn't know it was her f*cking dad! This older guy just comes up and is like, "Hi, how are you?" and everything and he starts talking about rock climbing... I mean, come on. First 5 minutes, okay, the dude was busy for what felt like 10, maybe 20 minutes. I couldn't handle it.
I went to kiss my girlfriend to tell her goodbye cause I saw her grab her stuff and she says her dad is here to pick her up, and that's when I see her to hug him and realize it's him.

Now, that's more than 170 characters, which is all that is allowed.

omg,everybody needs to calm down. im not fat. and im not looking for sympathy. i just thought it was funny that the kid said that. i dont think that "my life is over", i thought it was hilarious and laughed forever and told pretty much anyone who wanted to listen. i probably have higher self esteem that most of you on this site anyways. go find something better to do with your life than waste it on the computer ranting about stupid things. k thanks bye

To clear this up: it was mainly because the people in the hotel were not helpful at all and this was just one of the last straws. The FML part was the guy at the front desk of the hotel in New Orleans was like the most unhelpful person ever.

And it's also kind of akward if you don't exactly get along with the person you're stuck with.

And no, I am not usually claustrophobic, but in extreme cases, like such, it is rather disconcerting.

As for the cell phone service in the elevator, we were only about 4 inches up from the ground floor.

And if FML let me post a longer story, it would have been entirely different.

If the girl I called had posted, it would have been mainly about the fact that the hilarity of this whole situation caused here to piss herself. Especially with the fact that our adult leader used force to open the elevator doors...