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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36270) - you deserved it (6654)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:22pm - animals - by the3goatlady - United States (Wisconsin)

the3goatlady's comment about their FML

Hi. I'm OP. I have 3 goats and they're very sweet and playful. One of my goats will nibble clothes if you don't watch him, but never did I think he'd bite 5 inches of hair off! Oh well. If you hate goats it's no skin off my back.

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Today, I got a job. My parents have decided it's now a better idea to take money from my paycheck instead of grounding me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38004) - you deserved it (5991)

On 08/29/2014 at 5:21pm - money - by unseeable - United States (Arizona)

unseeable's comment about their FML

To clear up some questions I wanna start by saying I'm 17 and currently training to be a manager at mcdonalds. I work 40 hours a week and go to high school as a senior. I don't have much time for friends so they figured grounding me wasn't exactly the best punishment. They decided to start charging me for bad grades or not being able to do some chores or simple stuff like that, nothing too major. I thought that it seemed a little unjust for taking my hard worked money from me because of course it only happens to me in my family because I work the most and everyone else has more time for being grounded.

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Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44031) - you deserved it (4572)

On 08/27/2014 at 8:24am - health - by KristaAaronn - United States (Tennessee)

KristaAaronn's comment about their FML

OP here! I also told her that they reason they made sporks was because they wanted to completely rid the world of forks

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Today, I tried to contact my college's financial aid office. After listening to the same damn "Our counselors are busy" message for over an hour, someone picked up the phone and hung up immediately. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42131) - you deserved it (3084)

On 08/27/2014 at 3:07am - money - by drayloon (man) - United States (California)

drayloon's comment about their FML

Good to know I'm not the only one the system bends over and goes to town on. But as far as driving out there to speak to them in person goes, it's about a 9 hour drive assuming there isn't too much traffic, which there usually is, so that's not a particularly viable option

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Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42806) - you deserved it (4769)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by LolKaleb - United States (Texas)

LolKaleb's comment about their FML

It got posted yay. Well some were asking why I showered while friends were over. I had came from the gym and I left my door unlocked for them to come in since they were walking distance away. As I came back sweaty I decided to shower so I wouldn't ruin the couch. As I got out my mom came in to give me a towel since she didn't want me using my old one but she so happened to come in at the same time as me getting out the shower. My friends are still talking about it so yeah I have a good 2 or 3 weeks left before it's over.

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Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32851) - you deserved it (10906)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:17am - misc - by DumbAndYoung (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

DumbAndYoung's comment about their FML

OP here, I can't believe this got posted! First of all, I was at school when this happened, I went during lunch. I left when lunch was about over and I had to go to class. I know I need to overcome my fears, I've been this way for a long time. I'm also very shy. I don't usually tell people about it because they just think it's pathetic or stupid. My anxiety influences actions I make on a daily basis, and it sucks. I appreciate the sympathy, and the tips! I'll definitely keep trying to overcome it.

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Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of boredom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33665) - you deserved it (13020)

On 08/24/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)

annababyyyy's comment about their FML

Hi! Op here, I've been a loyal fml user for 4 years now and I can't believe this got posted! Let me just clear some things up:

The lecture was part of my summer camp - not college. I'm 16.

I wasn't taking notes because it was summer camp.

I wish I pretended it wasn't me, but I was so in shock I couldn't think straight!! Even the lecturer stared at me

My friends where there and laughed hysterically, and I quickly explained what happened. I am capable of laughing at myself, so it wasn't that bad.

as for all the fish puns- keep um coming!!

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secretninja64's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here. Thank you to all of those who are telling me that I can do better and that they don't need me. The job was at Taco Johns so I wasn't all too devastated to be fired. I would have liked them to tell me the real reason they fired me or come to me and tell me what I was doing wrong so I could have a chance to fix it before they fired me but sadly they were not mature enough to do that. The main manager at the store really didn't like me for some reason unknown to me so I'm guessing that's why she fired me. Unfortunately I do live in a state where they do not need a reason to fire someone. Needless to say I will be finding another job. Who knows, maybe I'll go work at Taco Bell, haha. Thanks again.

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Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML


I agree, your life sucks (70030) - you deserved it (4749)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

BagelTheOtaku's comment about their FML

Wow I was really surprised to be published, it made my day a bit better. I held off on commenting until I knew more about my issue. I actually went to the doctor two days after this got published. The doctor said it had happened because I had missed like 3 pills(birth control) in one month. The period continued for 3 months with 2-4 day breaks in between. I'm glad to say it's back to normal and on a regular cycle. (I'm 15)

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Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54547) - you deserved it (11967)

On 08/19/2014 at 7:37pm - love - by lentmarz - United States (Idaho)

lentmarz's comment about their FML

The story behind this is that when I proposed to my ex, and she said no, I was devastated. I hadn't really gotten over her, but my family set me up and I went out with her to humor them. We had a nice night and had gone out several times since.

As for the ring, the materials were worth about $4000 and I spent over 2 weeks smelting and hand designing it. I spent so much time on it, that it didn't feel right to sell it.

Also, I have made the decision never to see her again. So yes, I ran.

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Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38523) - you deserved it (2957)

On 08/18/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by StephLo (woman) - United States (California)

StephLo's comment about their FML

No windshield damage that I could see, just sort of startling that she would throw a coin two lanes away during heavy traffic -___-

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Today, my roommate decided to throw a huge party in the early hours of the morning. I have to start at my new job soon, a window just got smashed, and I'm tired as hell. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38003) - you deserved it (3980)

On 08/16/2014 at 7:53pm - work - by auzziegirl1938 - Australia (New South Wales)

auzziegirl1938's comment about their FML

OP here, got an email saying it's been published, so woooo, cheerin on that one haha.
The story is that I moved in on campus recently, and my roommates aren't that bad but they're pretty out there. I was a little miffed, I had told them that I was starting a new job in the morning and that I was sick, they started partying just as went to bed and kept it up until about 3-4am, and I had to be up at 5.
As for the window being smashed, someone decided it would be fun to push the heater through the window. Apparently it was cold outside.
For the people saying things like "if you can't beat them join them" I don't think walking in after 0 hours sleep would confirm that job for me.
As for the window puns..! Keep them coming, love it haha keeping me very amused! ???

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Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46453) - you deserved it (13208)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by Sara777boo - United States (Oregon)

Sara777boo's comment about their FML

This is my post, and let me explain :) I didn't realize it had fallen under the bed from the last nights sexy time. My dog found it and took it to her room before I even knew. But oh did my husbands fried spot it right away!

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