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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

#20562656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31115) - you deserved it (3731)

On 03/27/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by esbemebe1113 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

esbemebe1113's comment about their FML

Hi, this is OP. I loved all of your comments and read every single one. I couldn't believe this got on the site! Thanks to number #22: I loved you're comment and made me feel loads better. I love that everyone was so understanding. What's strange is that although I am a painfully awkward, I usually just get really red when I have to talk to the class. Thankfully I have a lot of good friends in real life to comfort me. (and a few new internet ones!) Thanks for finding my life entertaining!

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Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

#20562011
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29716) - you deserved it (2584)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Imafishyfishy (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Imafishyfishy's comment about their FML

Oh wow! It actually got posted! I'm the OP here, and I'm 19, the reason I'm confused is because when I finished high school he and I were going to move down to Florida together so I could go to college, and I got really sick, so we stayed here. My mom was completely fine with it when we were going to move out of state but now that we're moving to the apartment complex not even a mile away.
I asked her for clarification and she told me that I knew what she meant. So I asked my dad, and he told me the same thing.
I think they might be screwing with me.

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Today, I went to the bank to find out why they've taken $200 from me. By the time I show them my bank card, ID and tell them my problem, they accuse me of stealing my own identity, and refuse to give me my money back. FML

#20561553
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32571) - you deserved it (2095)

On 03/26/2013 at 9:37pm - money - by arsenicalhumor (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

arsenicalhumor's comment about their FML

Hello, OP here.. Yes, there is way more to this story, but it was too long for the FML post. So, I once had to go to a Cash Money Store, two christmas 's ago, because I had no money and just lost a job, needing Christmas presents- I sold my soul to one of those stores. For months on end that Cash Money store kept taking money from me (even though I gave them what they needed back) and ever since then, once every two months the bank would make excuses as to why they'd need all of my money, examples: "Oh the Cash Money Store took OUR money and so we are taking YOURS " , "Oh there is this fee you never payed this month and so we took extra" "Oh it's this mandatory add-on that we put on people's accounts" ,in the end I told them I wanted to switch banks, and that's when they started to accuse me of identity theft. Now mind you- I still look the same, I don't age quickly, and so in the end their arguments were invalid, but because they are a bank, it is a little difficult to just be like "Oh, your branch is wrong, and I am right" yes I did switch banks, and I hope this helped with some of the confusion. Thank you :).

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Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

#20560810
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36385) - you deserved it (5168)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:12am - love - by Candycane88 (woman) - United States (California)

Candycane88's comment about their FML

Lol he wasn't joking, but he wasn't trying to insult me either, in his mind that comment was trying to insult the guy hitting on me, strangely my hubby adores me and is a great guy, it's just funny the way it came out.

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Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

#20558942
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26665) - you deserved it (9230)

On 03/25/2013 at 1:04am - animals - by brittyed (woman) - United States

brittyed's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here. Posted this before I made a username.
I didn't actually place her on my shoulder, I was sitting on the couch letting her run around next to me and she decided to climb up my chest and onto my shoulder. Suddenly I heard this weird crunching sound next to my head and I picked her up and saw the clump of hair hanging out of her mouth!
Then it was like playing tug-of-war with a dog. She would NOT let go. I didn't think I'd have to pull as hard as I did just to pull something out of a guinea pig's mouth lol! I didn't want her getting sick so I put her back in her cage and threw the hair in the garbage.

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Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

#20557889
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (6056)

On 03/24/2013 at 11:56am - kids - by Gixie (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Gixie's comment about their FML

Alright. Where to start.
1) I submitted this FML and someone liked it so much he decided to submit it as his own with a few modifications. That's why there are comments about "daddy".
2) My son is 18 months, is developmentally challenged and just learning. He did not actually get me.
3) It is a learning fork for children which has metal, rounded prongs so it doesn't hurt if he gets you or himself.
4) I did take away his fork to which he screamed and cried. When he settled down, I gave it back and he was content to stab his pancake.
5) Have you people never been stabbed by plasticware or a spork? That shit hurts!
6) I do not live in Ghana.

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Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

#20554130
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39941) - you deserved it (3181)

On 03/21/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by kaikaicaligirl - United States (California)

kaikaicaligirl's comment about their FML

We've been together seven months and this is the first time anything like this has happened.

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Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#20553741
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33000) - you deserved it (3972)

On 03/21/2013 at 2:42pm - animals - by DommeAshlee - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

DommeAshlee's comment about their FML

This is OP. Mama and babies are safely tucked away in the guest bedroom. The mom put up one hell of a fight and i have the scratches to prove it. All six kittens are doing fine. Spoke to my friend, she admitted to lying about spaying the cat. I told her she could pay the vet bills and buy me a new mattress.

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Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

#20552223
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39319) - you deserved it (5083)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Iceman226's comment about their FML

The dates were actual dates, she knew it. We had cuddle and make-out sessions as well. After that night I talked with her on where things were going. Turns out she still has feelings for her Ex overseas (there in a complicated relationship so technically it's not even her Ex) and she was just using me because she got "lonely." I'll admit that I deserved some of what I got as I was ignorant and blinded but it still sucks. Oh, haha, she says I'm one of her best friends and she still wants to be friends. Seriously FML

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Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

#20548229
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31787) - you deserved it (3987)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:01pm - money - by meetrasan (woman) -

meetrasan's comment about their FML

I'm OP. My husband couldn't hold his liquor over a few beers if his cock and balls depended on it. It's been a topic of arguments for a while already and this is the final straw. But it's kind of a funny situation if you think about it, that's why I posted it.

To any stupid people that are going to ask how can he afford to go out drinking, read my other comment. And I KNOW someone's going to ask how could I afford a computer or a phone to post this, and my answer is: I don't buy a new computer or phone every day, shit head. I could sell my computer, but you try going without easy internet access in this day and age. We'll survive.

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Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

#20547094
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31599) - you deserved it (7374)

On 03/17/2013 at 1:05am - love - by jisaac09 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

jisaac09's comment about their FML

"In there" as in in the same room.

We just got done eating and I guess something didn't agree with her. I guess this beats the alternative (shitting in the floor outside the bathroom).

She was kind enough though to flush. I turned my head upside down and let the scolding hot water run into my nose.

I feel clean.

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Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I spent an entire raffle game desperately praying that I'd lose miserably, just so I wouldn't have to go up on stage and accept it. FML

#20545653
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (5228)

On 03/16/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by Minou (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Minou's comment about their FML

I didn't enter the raffle on purpose! It was a work event, and they gave us a ticket when we came in the door without telling us exactly what it was for. They had us rip them in half and keep one, then put the other in a container. I thought it was for attendance, or the food, or something. Then, toward the end of the event, they started drawing tickets and calling out the numbers on them for various prizes.

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Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

#20543100
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (17201)

On 03/14/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by WildaRora (woman) - Australia

WildaRora's comment about their FML

Hi guys, OP here. The dealer was femalel, I doubt she was older than 25 and we managed to laugh it off. After me nearly dying from embarrassment she actually asked what the book was. And no, it wasn't 50 Shades of Grey. It was not just the description of the act that was so bad, it was the moans and groans that the narrator put along with it. It sounded like really bad porn - not that I know what that sounds like!

Thing is I was shocked when it came up in the audiobook, which is why it was stopped at that part. Later on I listened to the rest of it and boy was I glad that I managed to stop it when I did. I am really thankful that I found out about this feature before I took my parents for a drive.

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