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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (63141)

On 04/08/2014 at 1:32am - intimacy - by Spooprfailed (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Spooprfailed's comment about their FML

Hello folks. Just wanted to clear up a few misconceptions!
1) My girlfriend is both beautiful and very fit. Which is incredibly lucky about me because...
2) We laughed hysterically about it for a while, since it was just such a ridiculous thing to come out of my mouth.

The mood WAS ruined for a little while (but not for too long ;) she's THAT awesome), but we've been laughing about it ever since. I am very happy not single (despite my scumbag brain's best efforts).

And for anyone who things this reply sounds as if I had a gun to my head and was writing whatever my gf told me to... please call 911

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Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46286) - you deserved it (4052)

On 04/07/2014 at 9:49am - love - by doemetoch (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

doemetoch's comment about their FML

OP here (yeah, I decided to make an account.) You're all right about him being very polite and all that, he was super sweet and mature about it and I could see he felt genuinely bad. But you know... somehow it's easier if a guy breaks up in a stupid way, at least then you're like "ugh, whatever, I deserve better than this anyway!" Or is that just me?

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Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23002) - you deserved it (49883)

On 04/03/2014 at 6:16pm - misc - by booboo300 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

booboo300's comment about their FML

Definitely not going to defend myself, it was a dumb thing to do. Although, I did whisper, not shout, an answer just to get my friend on the right track. I totally respect my teacher and it was the kind of whisper that probably would have been tried in any class with a hearing teacher as well.
She was a great teacher and I think I learned better that way. There is a mix of deaf and hearing asl teachers at my school, though.
It was amazing though, because she didn't respond to phones going off, people sneezing, people walking in late (until she saw them) and even the people bashing asl and deaf people in the hall one day.

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Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43360) - you deserved it (3711)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by themonesterman (man) - United States (New York)

themonesterman's comment about their FML

Update: The point of thr FML was not to complain about giving my room for my grandma, but it was to complain about:
A) Her reasoning for not taking the guest room.
B) The cat.

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Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeared out of nowhere, and I screamed. Customers aren't supposed to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilled coffee on myself, and served the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47998) - you deserved it (9620)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:01pm - work - by bubblooz - Canada (Ontario)

bubblooz's comment about their FML

Hey! it's the OP posting. I'm very surprised this got posted. Here is some information about the fml/my job.
1) We had a health inspector come last week and our place passed the exam. We are actually a very clean place.
2) The bug problem is being taken care of. There are traps all over the place and a pest control guy is coming in soon. Bugs are very hard to get rid of. Once eggs are laid, they will stay there forever. And the place used to be a KFC.
3) We barely see the bugs actually crawling around. That's a reason why I screamed, it was my first time actually seeing one.
4) Bugs do not go in the drinks or food. Customers watch me make their lattes, pour their coffee, heat their wraps, etc.
5)Even if the health inspector didn't come, if I was to complain and the place shut down- me and all my coworkers would lose our income. Also, typically every food place has their dirty secrets like this. Welcome to the food industry.
4) I am only 16 years old, however I need this job. I can't afford to quit. I pay my cell phone bill and majority of my necessities, and I am saving up for university.
5) I have been looking for a new job for a few months. I am handing out resumes constantly at malls and applying online. It's not easy... especially because I'm a part time student with little experience. The moment I have another job, I will give my two weeks notice in.

And also, this experience was horrifying. I screamed so loud I startled the customers. I hate bugs. Once I was finished serving the customer I ran to the bathroom, got the bug off me, and then adjusted my pants so I could tuck them into my boots.

I appreciate all the comments and the funny jokes!

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Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40844) - you deserved it (4196)

On 04/01/2014 at 10:21pm - kids - by YellowKettleBell (man) - United States (Texas)

YellowKettleBell's comment about their FML

Op here....unfortunately, many kids don't come from homes that are clean and hygienic. That's especially true in economically disadvantaged homes, from which most of my kids come. Some I can tell don't bathe or wash their clothes regularly.

Yes, this is my first year. Many teachers said they had similar experiences starting out.

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Today, my boyfriend made me sit in his kitchen while he Skyped his mother because he doesn't "feel ready" to tell her he has a girlfriend. He's 23, lives on a different continent and has been dating me for over 6 months. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41609) - you deserved it (4989)

On 03/30/2014 at 5:52pm - love - by haztod (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

haztod's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here - I'm super surprised this got posted! Just to clear some things up: my boyfriend is American and studying here in the UK. I have met his sister and we get along super well, but not anyone else in his family, nor do they know he's dating someone. From what I understand, his parents - especially his dad - aren't really big on relationships, especially when studying, as they can be seen as a distraction. I know for a fact that it was his mom as they usually do voice calls and I sit quietly, but she wanted a video chat so I shifted rooms on this occasion; there's definitely not another girl in the picture! I spoke to him about it after the call and explained that it upset me a little and made me feel like he had to hide me, and he was very apologetic and felt guilty - he told me this was his first serious relationship and he wasn't really sure what the right steps were in terms of parents or when they should happen which I actually found quite sweet. This is definitely not a deal breaker - he is so wonderful I wouldn't let something like this ruin our relationship! He just Skyped his mom again tonight and told her the news, so it's no longer an issue. He has met all my family and they adore him, so no issues there!

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Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML


I agree, your life sucks (42737) - you deserved it (3567)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by shabowbow - United States (Oregon)

shabowbow's comment about their FML

Thankfully I wasn't stung, and I do appreciate on the long run them hitting me with a textbook. It could've been a lot worse than a headache.

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Today, I tried to get out of my boyfriend's car in an angered exit because he got a text from the woman he's been cheating on me with. I ended up tripping on my purse, falling out of the car and face-planting onto the sidewalk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51612) - you deserved it (7197)

On 03/26/2014 at 3:50am - love - by Bishy123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Bishy123's comment about their FML

I was not aware he was cheating on me until I read the text. He is no longer my boyfriend.

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Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38730) - you deserved it (5142)

On 03/25/2014 at 1:32am - love - by Gibsonsgfreak21 (man) - United States (California)

Gibsonsgfreak21's comment about their FML

Hey everyone! I'm the OP!
Didn't think my post would be this popular! I don't have an accent- I'm from SoCal, but I was in a crowded class so it was hard to hear, so she just repeated what she thought I said. I've been talking to her for a while, but I asked her if she was artistic because we were really bored in a 3 hour class, so drawing would've been a fun distraction (although I can't draw to save my life). When I told the story to a couple friends, they thought I said 'autistic' instead or 'artistic' as well, so I guess she wasn't the only one. Also- I've done a lot of work helping children with autism. I've never say 'autistic' because i believe in ability before disability (ie. Saying, "A boy with autism" is better to say than "an autistic boy"). I explained what I meant to say and she laughed, so the FML isn't THAT bad. :)

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Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39557) - you deserved it (3304)

On 03/24/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by ColoradoGirl420 - United States (Colorado)

ColoradoGirl420's comment about their FML

Hey All. I did immediately go wash up once I confirmed that he was okay, he thought I was going to kick him out for moshing, I don't think he realized quite yet that his nose was broken, he was pretty drunk. And I am a chick, not a dude :) I get tested regularly anyway, but he and I did have a conversation after he went and cleaned himself up too. I explained that I was worried about disease and he looked positively horrified at the thought and insisted that he was clean. But I did get checked, came back all good. And I love my job, it's only part time, I only work the big shows, been doing it for a while and this is the only time this has ever happened to me. It didn't scare me off like my boss thought it would when he saw me marching off in a huff to the ladies room to clean myself up! lol

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Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51301) - you deserved it (7785)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by AsianSweets - Canada (Ontario)

AsianSweets's comment about their FML

OP here! Hey guys, so just to clarify, I don't have any daddy issues and I know who my father is lol. It just caught me off guard that my boyfriend asked me that so I thought about it literally first instead of how my boyfriend meant to say it for fun. But either way was a buzzkill.

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Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54005) - you deserved it (8436)

On 03/20/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by KEA_08 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

KEA_08's comment about their FML

OP here, he was a lovely man until this. Weeks before this date he talked about Pete as if he were a real person. I thought I was going to meet his best friend...which I guess I did in one sense.

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