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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37319) - you deserved it (8212)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

MrConcise's comment about their FML

Here's how it went down: The previous shop owner retired just before I started working at my job. I took over his office, but he left a lot of shit behind. Besides, when you find a pen that actually works, you don't look too far into it. I suppose the girl riding the moped should've tipped me off a little sooner, though.

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Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40833) - you deserved it (18038)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

longsock123's comment about their FML

I mean, you're commenting on FML, I'm eating mayonnaise in a mall... the amount of "life" between the two of us is not very high.

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Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

#20622850
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40270) - you deserved it (8746)

On 04/26/2013 at 9:23am - animals - by revan546 - United States (New Hampshire)

revan546's comment about their FML

Hi guys, OP here. Yeah I've been a vegetarian for a few years and my friend finally decided to call me out on it. I think i died a little inside when i heard it haha. He eventually did admit that he was wrong and we're still friends and whatnot. Common sense isn't so common nowadays though is it.

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Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

#20617726
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43035) - you deserved it (3489)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:23am - health - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)

fiercehawk's comment about their FML

Thanks to everyone who shared their personal experiences, offered their support or sympathy, or made me laugh.

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Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

#20615168
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82809) - you deserved it (10793)

On 04/23/2013 at 2:34am - intimacy - by iLynz - United States

iLynz's comment about their FML

Yes, my brother's friend was male. No, I didn't know he wasn't straight. Yes my brother is gay. And it's kinda hard to knock when there isn't a wall separating the kitchen from the living room. We talked about it afterwards AFTER I left the room (:

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Today, my grandpa moved into the apartment next door. The walls are wafer-thin. Goodbye sex life. FML

#20613352
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54454) - you deserved it (6283)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by LesbianHonest (woman) - Canada

LesbianHonest's comment about their FML

I'm not, but my girlfriend is.
Her silence in bed makes me sad now. :(

PS: Yes, this is my FML. I didn't have an account when I posted it, though.

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Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

#20603169
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36305) - you deserved it (3392)

On 04/18/2013 at 8:06pm - misc - by s0m3guy2010 - United States

s0m3guy2010's comment about their FML

I know he was bacon for a heart attack. Although the dryer didn't break, I was really porked from doing laundry until he was able to clean everything out.

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Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML

#20601672
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43240) - you deserved it (5924)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:26am - kids - by cowgirl927 - United States

cowgirl927's comment about their FML

OP here. Hi. Just wanted to say that I am extremely overprotective of my son. The house IS baby-proofed. The spray is always put up...this was the one time someone(not me) didn't put it up on its shelf. And I wasn't ignoring him. This is your standard, garden-variety "I stepped out of the room for one minute" kind of deal. Most moms know exactly what I'm talking about. So chill out some of you.

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Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

#20599402
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40662) - you deserved it (16995)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by KatiRozz1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Middlesbrough)

KatiRozz1's comment about their FML

I'm the op :)
The song is called "Choudo ii ino" which means, "It's just right"
if you look up the lyrics for it (with the english translation) it becomes pretty obvious what it's about.
my friend is Japanese, she told me what it meant.

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Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

#20598803
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47812) - you deserved it (6298)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:20am - health - by Annieisnotokay - United Kingdom

Annieisnotokay's comment about their FML

Just want to point out that I was pretty sure I had a last sentence that said 'turns out I lasted 5 minutes before fainting'. I am not claiming that I was in full blown panic mode for a full hour. I have a diagnosed OCD which does effect quite a large part of my life, I can't even use paper in class. The majority of my friends know I have this OCD and my best friend only brought it up as an example because she knows I don't really mind people knowing because for me as embarrassing as it is, I feel that if people know they won't make a big deal out of it and since I'm in year 12 I wasn't expecting people to over react as they did. The people who were doing it were the boys in my class who are really only in the class because they needed an extra subject to be allowed to attend the college I'm at. The teacher was trying to stop them but she was a substitute so naturally the already rowdy boys were not going to be told to stop.

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Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML

#20598380
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40872) - you deserved it (6493)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Aaronator25 - Canada (Ontario)

Aaronator25's comment about their FML

Hey guys this is OP, you probably wont believe me, but hey that'd make me a liar so... Im still trying to convince my parents of this so i can see a professional...

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Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68689) - you deserved it (17872)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Gurior's comment about their FML

This is brillant.

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Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

#20595815
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41074) - you deserved it (2731)

On 04/16/2013 at 4:48am - love - by Grand_Cookie - United States (Nebraska)

Grand_Cookie's comment about their FML

Haha!! Thanks for the support and funny comments! I am a guy and these people she talks about are women and aren't there for anything violent. A few of them have drug/alcohol problems and the rest like to steal things which are also pretty much the same things my entire family did to get locked up at the same time along with some other stuff I don't feel like listing. The sad part is that some of them seem better then the semi-insane girls I usually end up talking to.

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