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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML

#20423477
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40336) - you deserved it (4521)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:25pm - love - by annie_nk (woman) - United States (Utah)

annie_nk's comment about their FML

This is my FML. It was chicken, which we have an abundance of and generic 2-ply.

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Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

#20406772
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (3385)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:17am - work - by ehrmagahd (woman) - United States (Texas)

ehrmagahd's comment about their FML

Yeah, I live in a town with 4 colleges in it and nearby, so it's very difficult to find a job. I've applied literally EVERYWHERE that I could even remotely be considered for, and this was the only option I had, so I took it, and I'm very grateful for it! Even if people tend to act like idiots towards me

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Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

#20406737
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24686) - you deserved it (8923)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:02am - misc - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)

SApprentice's comment about their FML

I walk my cat on a leash and harness, instead of letting him roam, because I love him and do not want him to become lost to me. He really enjoys it and actually begs at the door to go for his walk. My neighbors are just trashy. They sit on their porches and loudly talk about the people who go by, which includes me whenever I try to walk my cat before I go to work. They are disturbingly proud of themselves, and seem to feed off of each other, with each malicious comment earning praise and support from their group. I... I just hate them so much. They don't seem to do anything. I don't know what they do for work. They're just always sitting on one of two porches, being dicks to everyone and adding new tidbits of trash to the landscape.

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Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

#20405707
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36897) - you deserved it (3654)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:53pm - misc - by Bajar - Australia

Bajar's comment about their FML

Hey all, OP here. To clarify a few things: it was at the airport lounge, the mother and son had a double couch together and I had a single chair next to the son. The water bottle was disposable and on a clearly visible pocket in my backpack. I still have no idea what I did wrong.

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Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you deserved it (2836)

On 12/16/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by emchocolat (woman) - Europe

emchocolat's comment about their FML

Thanks for your comments and highly original puns ! Just to clear the language issue up: "I was burgled" is correct British English (as opposed to American English) and means "Somebody broke into my house and stole things that belonged to me". "Burglarized" is the American synonym.

The site said I come from Europe - I do, but it's a big place. I come from England and I live in Mayotte, a French territory in the Indian Ocean.

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Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. FML

#20400236
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (2773)

On 12/15/2012 at 1:11am - money - by elphi (woman) - United States (Illinois)

elphi's comment about their FML

OP here!
#35, etc. No second date. And...I can't discuss a ongoing investigation.
#2 He tried to feel me up and I walked out.I was so scared I left my purse behind.
#14 He's on security camera.
#4 My limit's about 700 less than he wanted, and he didn't get any of it.
#8 Card was instantly cancelled.He put it back.
Haven't seen him since.
At least the dinner was good.

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Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

#20399114
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32263) - you deserved it (19596)

On 12/14/2012 at 8:45am - intimacy - by ToughTitties (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

ToughTitties's comment about their FML

Hey guys, its the OP here (didn't get an account to post the FML, but had to in order to comment, hence the name change) I'm not fat, I'm probably about 125 pounds and 5 foot 3, I was just leaning over- you know how your tummy kinda.. yeah. You guys get the idea! My boobs are way bigger than my tummy so it's all good. But I'm probably going on a diet after the holidays, because you guys are such ... well.. I can't say inspiration, more like a virtual kick up the backside. Thanks for commenting on my post, and happy holidays to you all!

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Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

#20399062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28477) - you deserved it (1714)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by MiscHats (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

MiscHats's comment about their FML

Perhaps I should have made this a little more clear, but yes, I did get puked on. Unfortunately the woman behind me was in a seat which was higher than mine, and thanks to the laws of physics, that meant the vomit sailed nicely downwards and splashed onto the back of my head. She didn't aim into her lap.

The guy next to her had the aisle seat, and he at least puked into his lap. One of the other three who puked was standing up in the aisle, and I'm pretty sure he splashed a few people. The other two were at the front of the bus. Basically, it was a Pukey Bus from hell. Getting off was maybe the happiest moment of my life.

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Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML

#20397576
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28984) - you deserved it (2310)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:39am - misc - by ShadowReiku (woman) - United States (Maryland)

ShadowReiku's comment about their FML

This is my FML. I made an account to comment.

I play pen&paper D&D with my dad and she was getting on my case about playing the nerd sport and how pathetic it was. I told her that at least I can have a relationship with my father that doesn't involve him paying for abortions.

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Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

#20201791
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21440) - you deserved it (7807)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

RabbitOfAurora's comment about their FML

Hey y'all. It's not actually that bad. Even if it doesn't work out she's still one of my best friends. Nothing will change that. And to be fair things were rather complicated to begin with and we'd been arguing a lot. I was hoping that this would turn out kind of like a movie, with a super happy ending and all that jazz. But life is rarely like a movie.

Either way I'll enjoy my time here and I'll deffs be coming back for a visit in future regardless. There are already plans in the making for a Halloween visit one year.

Cheers, and may you all never submit and have something posted on this site. Because you think it'll be great.. It really isn't. <3

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Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

#20201791
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21440) - you deserved it (7807)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

RabbitOfAurora's comment about their FML

Okay, for all of you who were wondering how this thing ended? With her mother screaming at me to "Get out right now or I'll call the police"

Apparently the whole time I was there I "offended everyone" and made "the atmosphere absolutely unbearable" I was also "Vile" an "ungrateful" She knows this FML is here, and so I won't even try defending myself because I don't want an argument or something to break out over it.

The last straw pretty much came when I posted a status on facebook about a conversation her mother and I had. I didn't name names, and only stated that I didn't care how overly cautious I looked for not doing X because I could hurt myself pretty badly doing it (because I am overweight and so risk of injury increases). she took this as me having a "Dig" at her. As her opinion was pretty much I should do it anyway, or that I should loose weight with diet and exercise and then do it. I found this so offensive because over the last 15 weeks or so I've lost 12 kilos, I'm also recovering from a bulging disk pressing against my sciatic nerve. I don't know if you all know how much that hurts, but at the worst I was almost passing out, vomiting, and loosing control of both my bladder and bowels, all at once, just standing up. The only reason I was okay is because I used some serious will power. That was 9 months ago. Three months ago, I couldn't even stand long enough to heat up soup because the pain was so bad. I'm actually surprised I was okay enough to do this trip anyway. I had some decent pain killers that really helped. I'm getting there in my own time. I honestly think that by this point they were looking for reasons to kick me to the curb.

This girl is very, VERY different in person. Still not a bad person by any definition of the word, but so different to how I ever expected.. I'm actually still rather shocked. Guess she felt the same about me too.

Pretty much the whole time, we were all pretty miserable so I came home a week early. I've been home for almost 8 hours and will be celebrating the new year with my mum.

I have chosen to no longer have contact with her or her family. I'm ready to put this all behind me and start next year all new and fresh.

All this was just a play by play of the last day or so, obviously things go way deeper, but this is not the place for that.

If I could go back in time, I probably would cancel the trip and save all the money I spent.. Possibly salvage the friendship too. But at least on the up side, I learned a lot about who I am through this.

It could have been an amazing love story, now it's a tragic romance that pretty much equates to "At least I did something with my life at one point, even if it didn't work"

My fellow FMLers, I think it's important to go after what you want, even if you don't want the same thing by the end. you need to take risks and put them behind you if they don't pay off. Forward is the best way to go.

I wish you all a happy new year full of wonderful stories too good to submit on this site. XOXO - Rabbit Of Aurora <3

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Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML

#20201674
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27778) - you deserved it (2197)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States

sushichick's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, OP here! :) I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments, they were super helpful and many were also quite funny. My "friend" is now my ex-friend and it's the best decision I could've made because she clearly was never a friend to begin with. Thanks again, everyone! Cheers!

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Today, after weeks of begging, I finally got an interview at my dream job. Turns out, they only agreed to interview me because they thought I was someone else. FML

#20200372
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19305) - you deserved it (1657)

On 12/11/2012 at 12:07pm - work - by karachii - United States

karachii's comment about their FML

OP here. Guess I used the wrong wording. I didn't really "beg", I did the whole apply, wait, go in and follow up thing. Only problem is that when I followed up, I gave my first name only. My name isn't that common, so I didn't realize there would be another one. They did like me, they just wouldn't have interviewed me because I didn't have enough experience.

This actually happened about a month ago (had to fudge it for FML of course P: ), and since then I've gotten a different job and am working to get that experience. So happy ending :)

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