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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I'm expected to buy a bassinet and/or a stroller/car-seat for my nephew because my brother trusted the pullout method for contraception. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36020) - you deserved it (3653)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:20am - kids - by Zebediabolical (man) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Zebediabolical's comment about their FML

OP here, let me shed a little more light on this situation.

I came into a little money last year as a settlement from a car accident three years before. I've been dodging 'can you loan me' calls from friends and family ever since. I guess this is the one time they think they've got me cornered and can make withdrawals from the Bank of Zebediabolical.

I have no problem with helping out with baby stuff. I'd intended to buy them a truckload of diapers in varying sizes and other stuff like that. But apparently there is a gift registry and most of the other items have been purchased already, leaving me with the bassinet or carseat that attaches to a stroller thingy.

I'd be fine with that too, if they hadn't picked out ones with all the bells and whistles. Rugged and offroad capable, Wifi, dual cupholders, iPod docks, phone rechargers, Bluetooth, climate control, spinnaz on the wheels, etc. Yes, I'm exaggerating but not by much. I told them I'd get them functional gear but not flashy stuff like that.

Apparently that makes me a bad person, and I got a bunch of familial pressure to buy them blinged out baby stuff. I don't like to feel obligated and I've got principles about stuff like that.

Today was the coed shower thing, and they didn't get bling. They got a functional and relatively cheap and well-rated stroller (according to Consumer Reports) and one of those cross-body slings that I see a lot of women at the Farmer's Market carrying their baby's about in. And a fuckton of vouchers for diapers.

They tried to make me feel bad about what I got them, so I left and went out with some friends.

That's my story. Thanks for your support, guys and gals.

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Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40286) - you deserved it (3027)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:15pm - work - by thatkid00117 - United States (New Jersey)

thatkid00117's comment about their FML

Hey guys, it was a pretty rough day so I wasn't surprised at least one person encountered trouble, and he didn't speak a word whilst he was gripped tightly to the flotation device. Once on shore I asked him if he was alright and instructed him how not to get caught in another rip current. He promptly to me to "f off" and that he didn't need help. At that point his girlfriend ran up to ask if he was hurt, and everything went downhill from there. I appreciate the sympathy, but it would be a little irresponsible of me to let the man die :)

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Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49772) - you deserved it (25163)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:19am - intimacy - by lilly1105 (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

lilly1105's comment about their FML

Y'all made me laugh and rethink my porn watching, thanks!

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Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45007) - you deserved it (6880)

On 07/15/2013 at 6:30am - love - by disataerkatie (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

disataerkatie's comment about their FML

I wish I had longer arms. Possibly the best part is that he is an entire foot taller than I am...

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Today, I went to the pool. As I started going up the steps to use the water slide, a kid no older than 10 yanked my swim trunks down to "see what's down there." FML


I agree, your life sucks (41416) - you deserved it (3037)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by Blizzards (man) - United States (Maryland)

Blizzards's comment about their FML

OP here, he was behind me the whole time (he blamed it on his sister). Thankfully, he only pulled it down enough to expose my butt. I pulled my trunks up, but I didn't say anything and just acted as if he wasn't there.

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Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43883) - you deserved it (3865)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:01am - love - by cristy91 - United States (Florida)

cristy91's comment about their FML

Okay, to answer a few questions: yes, the flavors were the same. Yes, my parents knew I'd be baking two cakes. The reason they ate from each is that my grandma put the "family" cake in the fridge without telling anyone, so they assumed the remaining cake was for them (grandma is a little forgetful). No, I can't combine them, I used "half" but it's half for one and a bit more than 1/3 from the other. No, not putting laxatives, I love baking and they bought me more ingredients to use.

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Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36013) - you deserved it (3173)

On 07/09/2013 at 8:14pm - misc - by LadyFahrenheit (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

LadyFahrenheit's comment about their FML

I just want to give more of an insight of the events surrounding the bailiff intrusion. A couple of weeks prior to finding them in my kitchen, I received a letter from an electricity company, which was intended for another customer. I contacted the electricity company to inform them I had received a letter for someone else, and they assured me that they would rectify their mistake. Fast forward a fortnight - I found bailiffs in my kitchen. They had picked the lock to gain entry, and had a search warrant, which they claimed gave them the right to enter my home. However, once I told showed them my I.D. and informed them their search warrant was invalid since I wasn't who they were looking for, they soon left. It baffles me how they could say it was so easy to open my front door, when they'd opened it with locksmith tools. I'm definitely going to have to improve my home security to avoid another incident like this.

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Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50210) - you deserved it (4947)

On 07/09/2013 at 4:54am - health - by Aggressive - Ireland (Dublin)

Aggressive's comment about their FML

Hello everyone.
She's doing very well now! The doctors at the hospital told us it was only a minor stroke luckily. We were extremely lucky to have a doctor at the house indeed.
And sorry to hear about your loss #70.:(

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Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44353) - you deserved it (3794)

On 07/03/2013 at 1:21pm - kids - by amanderpthepanda (woman) - United States (Washington)

amanderpthepanda's comment about their FML

I created this account to respond to some of your comments.. My cousin is a boy, and it was a very awkward explanation. I just told him that it's a girl thing and that he'll learn about it when he's older. I don't think it affected him that much. Also, #7, I enjoyed your comment the most.

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Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19034) - you deserved it (63752)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:54pm - misc - by emileeisamazing - United States (North Carolina)

emileeisamazing's comment about their FML

Love all the comments -- my family and I have very joking attitudes toward each other. I always call them "old names". They're not really old, none over 50 at least, and my siblings are both 10+ years older than me. (I'm sure you get the gist.) It was the "boring sh*t" they were offended by. Staring at a caged bear for half an hour isn't too much fun for me, but since then we did decide on zip lining now amongst other non-boring things. We did decide to keep the conversation named that if you were wondering :)

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Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37204) - you deserved it (16459)

On 07/03/2013 at 2:56am - work - by strokesie - United States (Ohio)

strokesie's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here. After I said that, the interviewer busted out laughing- so there's a plus. She also said something along the lines of "Ya know, nobody says that sort of thing. Usually it's the boring 'I really need a job' type. But not you!" And laughed some more.
I really need this job though, I've applied everywhere and this place is the first to call me. I won't know if I got it or not until next week, so I'm crossing my fingers!

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Today, I got to explain to my co-worker again why I can't move my "vacation" so she can take hers when she wants. Apparently, in her mind, her seniority at the company trumps my due date. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46383) - you deserved it (2709)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:35am - work - by sulitak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

sulitak's comment about their FML

1. It did take work to get pregnant.
2. I put in for my leave as soon as I found out. It has been on the schedule for 5 months already.
3. She is the SAME position as me, not my superior. She has just held a position at the company for longer.

Though, even if it was a vacation for vacation thing, I would still have priority through our company's rules.
Seniority get priority to a point. Low man on the totem pole can request days off, then it gets put on the calendar, everyone above them has a month to "override" those days. If it stands for a month with no objections, low man gets their vacation.

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Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51878) - you deserved it (3684)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:34am - money - by Chellybelly92 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Chellybelly92's comment about their FML

Wow this made it. That day was kinda bad for tips and that just topped it. But I made a good amount it's just probably gonna be a rough month with money but I'll make it. Thanks guys.

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