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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

#20603169
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36271) - you deserved it (3389)

On 04/18/2013 at 8:06pm - misc - by s0m3guy2010 - United States

s0m3guy2010's comment about their FML

I know he was bacon for a heart attack. Although the dryer didn't break, I was really porked from doing laundry until he was able to clean everything out.

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Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML

#20601672
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43210) - you deserved it (5919)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:26am - kids - by cowgirl927 - United States

cowgirl927's comment about their FML

OP here. Hi. Just wanted to say that I am extremely overprotective of my son. The house IS baby-proofed. The spray is always put up...this was the one time someone(not me) didn't put it up on its shelf. And I wasn't ignoring him. This is your standard, garden-variety "I stepped out of the room for one minute" kind of deal. Most moms know exactly what I'm talking about. So chill out some of you.

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Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

#20599402
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (16759)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by KatiRozz1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Middlesbrough)

KatiRozz1's comment about their FML

I'm the op :)
The song is called "Choudo ii ino" which means, "It's just right"
if you look up the lyrics for it (with the english translation) it becomes pretty obvious what it's about.
my friend is Japanese, she told me what it meant.

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Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

#20598803
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47784) - you deserved it (6296)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:20am - health - by Annieisnotokay - United Kingdom

Annieisnotokay's comment about their FML

Just want to point out that I was pretty sure I had a last sentence that said 'turns out I lasted 5 minutes before fainting'. I am not claiming that I was in full blown panic mode for a full hour. I have a diagnosed OCD which does effect quite a large part of my life, I can't even use paper in class. The majority of my friends know I have this OCD and my best friend only brought it up as an example because she knows I don't really mind people knowing because for me as embarrassing as it is, I feel that if people know they won't make a big deal out of it and since I'm in year 12 I wasn't expecting people to over react as they did. The people who were doing it were the boys in my class who are really only in the class because they needed an extra subject to be allowed to attend the college I'm at. The teacher was trying to stop them but she was a substitute so naturally the already rowdy boys were not going to be told to stop.

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Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML

#20598380
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40839) - you deserved it (6486)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Aaronator25 - Canada (Ontario)

Aaronator25's comment about their FML

Hey guys this is OP, you probably wont believe me, but hey that'd make me a liar so... Im still trying to convince my parents of this so i can see a professional...

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Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68610) - you deserved it (17862)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Gurior's comment about their FML

This is brillant.

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Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

#20595815
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41049) - you deserved it (2729)

On 04/16/2013 at 4:48am - love - by Grand_Cookie - United States (Nebraska)

Grand_Cookie's comment about their FML

Haha!! Thanks for the support and funny comments! I am a guy and these people she talks about are women and aren't there for anything violent. A few of them have drug/alcohol problems and the rest like to steal things which are also pretty much the same things my entire family did to get locked up at the same time along with some other stuff I don't feel like listing. The sad part is that some of them seem better then the semi-insane girls I usually end up talking to.

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Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML

#20593484
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44250) - you deserved it (7580)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by chrissy2 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

chrissy2's comment about their FML

It was my first time getting my hair dyed, and I only wanted it a little lighter and not pay 100 dollars compared to 10 dollars haha. And it sucked because I had to go to my waitressing job at a fancy restaurant right afterwords.

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Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

#20592897
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100204) - you deserved it (4272)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:37am - misc - by OPhere (man) - United States (California)

OPhere's comment about their FML

OP here. To the people who said I deserved it, my psychotic mother actually had the balls to craft a fucking rejection letter and mail it to me. I was sixteen and had never seen an authentic denial letter from Yale---you guys would've believed it, too, had you been in my shoes. To the people who keep bringing up e-mail: it was 1996. As my generation will tell you, we grew up without the internet. To the people who agree that my mom's a bitch, damn straight she fucking is. My daughters and son will not be seeing much of mee-maw anymore, nor will I. To the people who said I wouldn't be who I am today without that lie: Doesn't matter; parents are supposed to nurture their children, not deprive them for personal gain.

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Today, I baked my friend a cake for his 21st birthday. When I arrived at his house, his girlfriend, who hadn't made him anything, screamed at me for "making her look bad." She then took the cake, banned me from the party, and kicked me out. FML

#20591958
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47688) - you deserved it (4231)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:29pm - misc - by NZgirl92 (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

NZgirl92's comment about their FML

PS. I have a boyfriend, who lives with the friend whose birthday it was and his girlfriend.

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Today, my laziness hit a new low when I sat on an unopened folding chair to avoid the effort of opening it up. FML

#20587700
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14794) - you deserved it (94779)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by mets300 - United States (New York)

mets300's comment about their FML

OP here, it was leaned against a wall, and I was holding a soda. I could have simply put the soda down, but I just leaned/sat on the chair. I then began to think of what I was doing.

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Today, my laziness hit a new low when I sat on an unopened folding chair to avoid the effort of opening it up. FML

#20587700
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14794) - you deserved it (94779)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by mets300 - United States (New York)

mets300's comment about their FML

Hey guys op here again. I was so overtired that I couldn't quite put it together that one should in fact unfold a folding chair to properly use it. I should have made this clear, I suppose, based on the colossal backlash I've received. Thanks, all.

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Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44536) - you deserved it (8389)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

zahra_786's comment about their FML

Hey guys OP here! I loved reading the comments! So this was the first week or so he had moved in, so I set up my playstation 3 for us and the other three flatmates to allow him to get to know us and speak to us since he was new here! When I kept beating him, he started shouting stuff in Italian (he's a foreign student) and then at the end he started using my religion as the reason for my win! LOL. I also beat his ass on FIFA..but he had no ridiculous excuse there ! :Dp.s. he's hopefully moving out soon so its all good!

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