Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

#20065261
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (1593)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by darawbs - United States

darawbs's comment about their FML

Haha I'm glad I entertained you.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, for the third day in a row, my 10-month-old is refusing to eat any of the meals that I prepare for him. He will however eat anything semi-edible lying on the floor, cat kibble included. FML

#20061876
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15307) - you deserved it (1715)

On 09/07/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by amusedslovenia (woman) - Slovenia

amusedslovenia's comment about their FML

OP here...

My son is 10 months old. I'm really at my wits' end. He had been a good eater from the start, unlike his older brother who I couldn't get to eat anything either. I set out to feed my kids all organic, home-made, fresh and so forth. I gave up with my first after having spent literally hours a day preparing healthy, nutritious and yes, tasty foods that he wouldn't touch beyond a spoon or two.

My two year old grew fine on very little food and now eats the same we do. My younger. however, is tiny for his age - he wears clothes for 3mo (but developing normally, thank God, and the pedi's not concerned). I can only get him to taste a spoon of something and then it's over. But anything he picks up from the floor (bread crumbs, and yes, cat kibble (food), he will eat. And scream when I take it away from him.

Maybe he's on a strike or teething or... I don't know. Maybe I should start placing food on the floor for him LOL.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

#20060412
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (1869)

On 09/06/2012 at 12:54pm - health - by onorexveritas - United States (California)

onorexveritas's comment about their FML

it sucks ass lmao but its kina funny to look at xD

See all the comments

Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML

#20058884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21503) - you deserved it (2245)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm - money - by Lauraborealous - Canada (Alberta)

Lauraborealous's comment about their FML

for those saying that I should have stolen laundry soap or similar, i work at a restaurant, this wouldn't be possible

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I found out that the "vines" I was cutting down this morning were actually poison oak. I can only see out of one eye, and I'm virtually unrecognizable due to the facial swelling. FML

#20052545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14992) - you deserved it (2434)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:37pm - health - by merissa22 - United States (Illinois)

merissa22's comment about their FML

nothing like a shot in my ass after trying to sum up the courage to go out in public won't help

See all the comments

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (1383)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

iliveintexas's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, in case you're wondering, I have NOT sprayed the nests yet (my dad has informed me there are around 10 nests), but I will be sure to record it, because I am an idiot.

PS: Thank you all for the helpful comments, I am aware that I should wear long pants and a long shirt. However (for my favorite comment), in Texas, it is hard to find a cheap steel-forged suit of armor, as well as to craft one.

More soon, David (iliveintexas, and author of this FML)

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

#20050167
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26160) - you deserved it (4750)

On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)

Geckosrock99's comment about their FML

OP here. First of all, I'm nineteen. The ninety-nine in my username is just a random number. Not my birth year and not the number of geckos I have (or rather, used to have.)

The vibrator wasn't running low on batteries. I had just changed them and, unfortunately for me, it was dying for good.

I've had my fear of clowns since I was seven, because of that "IT" movie, so hearing that noise in the dark was pretty scary.

See all the comments

Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

#20047374
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29044) - you deserved it (1532)

On 08/29/2012 at 1:32am - love - by SuzyTurquoiseBlu (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

SuzyTurquoiseBlu's comment about their FML

Well, they aren't really liked in the family and I think that its both really rude and sad of them to try and piggy-back their special occasions with mine.
My sister in-law and her fiancee got engaged in the waiting room while I was in ACTIVE labour with my daughter and got pissed off that everyone wasn't falling over themselves to congratulate them.

See all the comments including 16 other original poster's reactions

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

#20045602
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16401) - you deserved it (1611)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by calivianya (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

calivianya's comment about their FML

Just so you guys know, I have a whole lot of furniture. I'm pretty sure the cricket was hiding under one of the pieces of furniture, but every time I got near my couch, ottoman, armchair, side table, or bookcase, it stopped chirping. It was pretty hard to tell where it was coming from!

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML

#20040473
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20200) - you deserved it (2496)

On 08/25/2012 at 2:53am - misc - by coolcocoxxx (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

coolcocoxxx's comment about their FML

For anyone wondering, he didn't get the cookies. And it was before he started flirting with me... His birthday was coming up soo

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

#20036992
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5675) - you deserved it (25865)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:54am - money - by chrisbravo - United States

chrisbravo's comment about their FML

OP replies:

It was a hell of a night. It "changed" my life.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I came home to find that the entire ceiling in the kitchen of my apartment had caved in due to an extremely leaky water pipe. The same water pipe maintenance said they had fixed three days ago. FML

#20033420
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16759) - you deserved it (1014)

On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - misc - by ByronJess - United States

ByronJess's comment about their FML

Thank you, DocBastard.

Also, I'm not one of those crazy Americans portrayed on television who feels the need to sue for everything.

First off, maintenance is admitting the fixed something wrong.

Second, I've made some pretty big mistakes in my life too.

Third, I'd rather not put the apartment complex whet I live in any financial turmoil, I like it here and I need a place to live.

See all the comments including 8 other original poster's reactions

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

#20027534
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50157) - you deserved it (2222)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:09am - misc - by Just_Me_88 - United States (Oregon)

Just_Me_88's comment about their FML

Well, I am OP, and I am indeed 23...I met my husband when I was 18....and his ex was 17. She "lied" to him about her age. I am amazed I have bought it for so long. Yup, he is certainly a soon-to-be ex.

Right after he loses his jewels. (kidding...maybe, lol)

My soon-to-be-ex just turned 36.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: