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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my boyfriend of two years, whom I supported through the death of his father, and whose invalid mother I also took care of, suddenly dumped me. The fact that I've put on a little weight due to recent stress disgusts him, and he "can't date a chubster". FML

#20699180
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65151) - you deserved it (5934)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by songbird062 (woman) - (Cambridgeshire)

songbird062's comment about their FML

Hi guys! (Sort of) OP here. This isn't actually exactly what happened, because someone copied my original FML, altered it slightly and the resubmitted it as their own. When I say "altered it slightly", I mean they changed 18 months to two years, and left out the part about his brother dying as well, apart from that, it's basically word for word identical. It was credited to me after I noticed and reported it. He did say that he'd be willing to reconsider after some time apart, but I sure as hell am not going back there again. And for those who are asking about my weight, I gained 2kg, or approximately 4 pounds for our friends using imperial measurements. I'm around 70kg (150 pounds), which, for my height of 5 foot 9, is perfectly healthy. So no, I am not at all obese.

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Today, my mom has gone completely insane and insists we only flush the toilet or wash our hands at the start or end of the day, "to save on bills." My young sister thinks it's the best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touch everyone's faces. FML

#20697422
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41263) - you deserved it (2543)

On 05/31/2013 at 2:00pm - health - by nightbirdblue (woman) - United States

nightbirdblue's comment about their FML

I know. I tried to explain, but that got me screamed at. My mom accused me of acting like the parent and cussed me out.

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Today, I was at my nursing internship. After helping a patient get into bed, I began to walk out of the room when I heard him say to another nurse, "Now that was a king sized lady". To make things even better, she didn't understand him the first time and I got to hear him say it again. FML

#20696188
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33981) - you deserved it (4479)

On 05/30/2013 at 9:54pm - work - by melody91 - United States (Texas)

melody91's comment about their FML

Op here! I was happy to see all of the supportive comments I got, I was expecting a lot of negative comments from judgmental people and there were only a few.
I am a bit over weight but I have been working on it, I've lost 40 pounds in the last year with 30 to go. I am also pretty tall for a woman (just under 6').
I'm still not sure if he was commenting on my height or weight (maybe a combination of both). The adorable 94 year old man who made this comment is very sweet normally, so my ego was a little hurt for a while but I decided to brush it off :-)

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Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

#20685040
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44214) - you deserved it (15438)

On 05/25/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by Cristoforo - United States (New York)

Cristoforo's comment about their FML

To follow up, I was watching Star Trek: Into Darkness (really great movie) and the only ones sitting next to me were my friends. We were sitting in the middle front, I could hear a few "ew's" from the rows behind me but I heard more laughs. I kept my face straight forward and tried to pretend it wasn't me lol

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Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41387) - you deserved it (3935)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States

JDziewaltowski's comment about their FML

After speaking with the chief of police, the officer who stopped me, and a lawyer, we've all come to the conclusion that yes, it was a case of excessive force. The officer took a split second glance, and "panicked" No I'm not sue happy, I got my apology, even though I could take it to court, win, and "fuck the police" I'm not. At the end of the conversation, we even had a laugh at the fact that officer aggression needs a chill pill. Although I did get a pretty decent bruise on my chest/shoulder. No harm done.

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Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

#20682243
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12915) - you deserved it (104391)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by faitoh - United Kingdom (Lisburn)

faitoh's comment about their FML

Um, OP here. Scared to reply because of the abuse I've been getting but obviously I deserved it, I know that.

1. I guess I posted it as an FML because I realised how much of a dick/arsehole/cunt/wanker I'd been...
2. The guy wasn't cycling to the side like he should have been, he was more out to the middle. I just lost my cool to be honest, if he doesn't care about his safety by doing that, why should I bother about not making him jump? (unpopular opinion obviously...)
3. I should probably point out that this was a quiet road, I was the only car, otherwise I wouldn't have done it, which may be surprising to some of you...
4. He caught up to me because I slowed back down to normal speed after about 30 seconds. Guess he was stronger than I thought.
5. I KNOW I'm a colossal twat. But I still hate cyclists. Some of them are SO up their own arses. Having said that, I WILL NEVER EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN.

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Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

#20680298
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34435) - you deserved it (3940)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by AwkwardHaole808 - United States (Hawaii)

AwkwardHaole808's comment about their FML

My friend isn't suffering from depression. She told me she did this stunt because she couldn't get the package that she wanted and that this would "show her parents".

Also, yes this doesn't affect me nearly as much as it does her or her loved ones. However, I am her friend and don't want to lose a good friend over something so small.

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Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

#20679700
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42277) - you deserved it (3456)

On 05/22/2013 at 12:47pm - kids - by Kittykat900 (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Kittykat900's comment about their FML

Hi OP here, a little extra detail. My little girl (7 years old) is having her "bad haircut faze" she is self conscious about it and it didn't help that she overheard this obnoxious woman! I had to spend hours building back up her confidence. It was truly a horrible thing to do. Sorry it doesn't show up as mine as I posted it from my phone and then made an account!

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Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

#20677737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37140) - you deserved it (6406)

On 05/21/2013 at 1:20pm - misc - by psuedodragon (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

psuedodragon's comment about their FML

Funny you should mention zombie attacks... The reason I was late was because I slept through my alarm after a particularly intense, long weekend, zombie survival prep camp (basically a lot of running in between short classes on survival skills for three days). I know I shouldn't have been speeding, but it was important enough that the $135 would have been worth paying... y'know, if they hadn't forgotten to tell me it was cancelled...

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Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

#20675316
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37713) - you deserved it (4473)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by ElhonnaDS (woman) - United States (New York)

ElhonnaDS's comment about their FML

OP here- A couple of points of clarification:

1) She wasn't paying the bills- I was looking for a cheaper apartment. We'd have gone down from a 3-bedroom to a studio. Where I live, I would have been paying a pretty standard rate for what a studio is- it was just convenient to be renting from family, with whom I generally get along.

2) He's my fiancee now. We'd have been married by the time we moved in.

3) She has definitely had some interesting idea manifest over the last couple of years, as she has begun reading the Gospel according to Saint Google. It seems these days she will take any chain e-mail she gets with about the same degree of seriousness as the actual Bible. For most of my life, we have had very normal and respectful boundaries about our differences in belief. I knew she had some odd ideas, but the idea that she would demand to have control over every book, movie, piece of clothing, game, etc. that we had in an apartment we were paying to rent was much further out than I thought she was.

4) When I say she thinks they are demonic, I don't mean she doesn't want me watching Hellboy or other movies that are about demons. What she specifically said is that the physical objects (outlined as movies and books that depicted violence, sex, horror, fantasy, aliens, superheroes, any object that had any cultural reference that could be traced to a non-Christian religion or superstition, satanic heavy metal and video games, etc.) were actually all carrying demonic spirits in a real and physical sense, which would be brought into the apartment with them, and she needed to protect herself by not letting us bring the demons in (the apartment, while having a separate entrance, is attached to her house).

So, needless to say, we thanked her very much and cancelled our plans to move into that apartment pretty much immediately. The FML is mostly that she's so far gone from when I was younger, and that she sprung this on us after we told everyone we were taking the apartment, rather than up front when we discussed rent, parking, furniture and pretty much every other detail.

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Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

#20674768
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (2764)

On 05/20/2013 at 1:44am - health - by KatielSilver - United States (Washington)

KatielSilver's comment about their FML

It was an ATV "accident". My ex - boyfriend broke up with me on the trail and then purposely spun us around a turn too fast and I was thrown off the back. He still doesn't understand why I didn't find it funny like he did...

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Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

#20671502
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59306) - you deserved it (3478)

On 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm - health - by mackmackey (man) - United States (Arizona)

mackmackey's comment about their FML

hey OP here, thanks to many of you for suggesting a lawsuit, I'll consider it! Btw, it was at an urgent care and not a real hospital

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Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46950) - you deserved it (3465)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

JACKxRAWR's comment about their FML

OP here. The bastard didn't even knock and left the package in a post office the other side of town, even though I live five minutes from a sorting office.

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