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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

#20912707
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35048) - you deserved it (5714)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:04pm - kids - by mattrd (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

mattrd's comment about their FML

OP here! First off, for all the people inquiring about what the costume is, it is a plush dinosaur that his legs go into and his upper half sticks out of it. You can see a picture of it if you search "dinosaur" at costume express. And the issue isnt that he loves the costume, in fact he hated putting it on at first. The issue is that he wants candy and he wants candy RIGHT NOW. Thanks for all the suggestions. But now that a day has gone by, the costume is in a closet and he seems to have forgotten all about it.

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Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46368) - you deserved it (4747)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

littlekellilee's comment about their FML

Thanks for the kind words towards my cat, she's feeling much better!

The comments were all hilarious! I think he was just still feeling sensitive about the fight because he apologized shortly after and admitted to acting crazy. I think I'll probably keep him around, he's a pretty good guy usually and definitely hasn't done this before. I'll keep an eye out though. Thanks everyone!

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Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

#20909955
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36929) - you deserved it (2757)

On 10/06/2013 at 6:28pm - work - by WhyMe6495 - United States (New York)

WhyMe6495's comment about their FML

I work at Kmart and yes this has happened a few times already and i've only worked there for one month

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Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

#20909380
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40174) - you deserved it (27428)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:54am - work - by CreamGravy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

CreamGravy's comment about their FML

Well to be honest I made the whole thing up because I got tired of being that one guy at work who can't get a girlfriend. It's a small place, there are only 8 of us who work there, and I'm the only one that's single, so I get jokes about it quite a lot. They're nothing bad, I know it's all in fun, but yesterday someone made yet another joke about it and for some reason I just blurted out that I had a date tonight. As soon as I did I figured might as well go with the story, so when I got questioned about it I made up a fake name and description for the girl as well.

The best part is that I told everyone I was taking her to this really fancy and expensive restaurant, so when they saw me at McDonalds it was ironic actually. Luckily for me today is a holiday, but I have a feeling tomorrow the mocking is going to be worse than ever.

I voted YDI by the way.

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Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

#20909172
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41044) - you deserved it (13929)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:51am - intimacy - by katt_is_here - United States (Colorado)

katt_is_here's comment about their FML

OP here!

To answer some questions:

1) The bottle...well, it's pretty damn obvious what it is considering it has GIANT letters on it that say "Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner" next to a image of a girl dancing with a giant dildo like a stripper pole. If she did see it, it is more than obvious what it is used for.

2) Soap can damage some toys so it's better to get a cleaner specifically designed for the items you are cleaning. You wouldn't wash your windows with oven cleaner, for example.

3) I guess some people missed where I said "SURPRISE" visit. As in I wasn't expecting her. As in there is A LOT of things I would have done to prepare had I known she was coming. I'm not messy, but most people clean their place better when they are expecting company, no?

4) I pay my own bills. This apartment is no more hers than my toys are.

Either way, I thought it was a funny and somewhat embarrassing story to share. Have a good one!

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Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML

#20909078
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38411) - you deserved it (3784)

On 10/06/2013 at 12:11am - kids - by noreia (woman) - Hong Kong

noreia's comment about their FML

he'll turn 14 within this month

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Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

#20906946
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60486) - you deserved it (4627)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:16am - intimacy - by pancakelicious - New Zealand

pancakelicious's comment about their FML

To everyone concerned: Yes, I washed my hands afterwards. Also, I couldn't refuse the money since my boss was nearby and watching my every move.

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Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

#20904623
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43506) - you deserved it (3578)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:56pm - money - by NykP (woman) - United States (Arizona)

NykP's comment about their FML

Hi, I'm the OP.
For one, I certainly do not have an IPhone, I have an old brick that doesn't have data.
Secondly, I actually have my account set up so I cannot be over-drafted so all of the charges got declined and I have already shut down the card. Now my card was not actually stolen, they were just using the numbers. I asked the bank how they could have gotten those and they couldn't give me a definitive answer. They said it's as easy as your waitress could have copied the numbers and is using it online or something got hacked.
Thirdly, I have no money because I am just a poor college student. I work two jobs but with the cost of school I have nothing left to keep in my account. I do not have a house, I am living in a little room at my grandparents. I do have a cat, but I buy large bags of food and it lasts him like three months. I do not have any children.

I was certainly laughing at the stupid person who would try to steal from me.

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Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42624) - you deserved it (5861)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

BasketGhost's comment about their FML

Hey! Just to start, my dog is absolutely fine. So, we think she may have stepped on the button to lower the window without us realizing before it was too late. No worries, though we were driving fairly slowly after just pulling out of the school parking lot. For anyone wondering the breed, she is a beagle!

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Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML

#20903836
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41884) - you deserved it (2591)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:33pm - kids - by SuperFail55 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

SuperFail55's comment about their FML

Thanks for all the comforting comments. I just thought that I should clear some things up. First of all, as much as I agree that men are just as entitled to their emotions as women I wanted to clarify that naturally he is NOT an emotional man at all. So it is just weird to have him acting so... hormonal. As some of you were wondering it isn't so much impairing his ability to be a parent as it is just not fun to be around him. Also being a teenage girl and having teenage girl friends we can be very melodramatic about relationships and so that's why I used that analogy (cough cough #'s 37 and 38 cough cough.)

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Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

#20903605
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39679) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/01/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by kelbel89 - United States (Texas)

kelbel89's comment about their FML

Hey guys. This is the full scoop.

My father is about 5'9'' and my boyfriend is 6'4''. My dad was going to intimidate him in anyway he could. He started the night off by answering the door and telling my BF that I was out on my real date for the night. Obviously, my dad has a very dry sense of humor. I don't think he was actually going to send what he collected to a lab, but he didn't crack a smile the whole time it was going on. I tried to stop him, multiple times, at which point my dad said that my boyfriend was lucky he couldn't find any latex gloves that day because it meant he was going to have to skip the prostate exam.

My mother was there and thought it was hilarious. My boyfriend is wonderful and rolled with the punches. He took it very well and we are still together. :)

Many of you asked if my dad works in law enforcement. Nope, he's just a Texan (which I feel I should point out my boyfriend is not). My father is incredibly proud of himself, I think even more so now that so many of the comments were in his favor. I was, and still am, absolutely mortified.

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Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

#20902341
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15429) - you deserved it (39727)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:51pm - health - by DOCMONROE - United States (Illinois)

DOCMONROE's comment about their FML

OP HERE! FIRST LET ME SAY…VERY PUNNY GUYS. NOW LET'S CLEAR THINGS UP A BIT.

THE CONVERSATION WAS MOSTLY TEXT AND STARTED LIKE THIS…
ME: I NEED TO ASK YOU A FEW WEIRD, UNCOMFORTABLE QUESTIONS.
HER: OK…?
ME: ARE YOU GOING TO BREAST FEED?
HER: PROBABLY THE FIRST MONTH.
ME: AND QUIT AFTER?
HER: PROBABLY. WHY?
ME: NOW IT'S GOING TO GET WEIRD…HOW MUCH WOULD IT STRAIN OUR FRIENDSHIP IF I ASKED TO BUT YOUR BREAST MILK?
ME: HELLO? DON'T MAKE THIS WEIRD.
THEN I GOT A PHONE CALL…
HER: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

NEEDLESS TO SAY, SHE WASN'T SOLD ON THE IDEA…YET. AND FOR ALL OF THE ONES WHO THINK IT'S WEIRD, Y'ALL NEED TO BREATH A LITTLE. BREAST MILK IS WHAT MOST WHEY PROTEINS TRY TO MIMIC. IT'S 38 g CARBS, 32 g PROTEIN, 15 g FAT (PERFECT RATIO BEING 40, 35, 15). THE FATS BREAK DOWN EASIER AND THE PROTEIN IS EASIER TO ABSORB. PLUS IT HAS ALL THE ANTIBODIES AND HGH YOU COULD ASK FOR. NOT TO MENTION IT'S ONE OF THE FEW WAYS TO ACTUALLY ABSORB CALCIUM (THE STUFF YOU GET IN THE STORES IS A WASTE IF MONEY). SO CALL IT WEIRD…OR DEDICATED. EITHER WAY. ARNOLD HIMSELF USED THE STUFF AND HE HAD A 57 in CHEST. IF IT TAKES BOOBIES TO GET BOOBIES THEN BOOBIES IT IS!

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Today, I was using the bathroom at McDonald's when my wallet fell out of my pocket. A lady reached into my stall and tried to grab it. FML

#20900981
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39919) - you deserved it (2549)

On 09/29/2013 at 7:30pm - money - by NotSoTypical (woman) - United States

NotSoTypical's comment about their FML

Hello, OP here!

So you FMLers know, my wallet now goes in safe places when I use the bathroom( ie. My purse or backpack.) I was actually in the process of reaching down to pick it up when her hand appeared in my stall, from under the door. I didn't step on her hand, but thought about it. I did yell at her and report her to management, though. She has actually stolen other people's wallets, so I guess I am lucky.

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