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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20169) - you deserved it (1510)

On 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm - misc - by vanillatwilight2 (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

vanillatwilight2's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP Here! (I realised I wasn't logged in when I posted this FML) Just letting you guys know that I don't actually live in Auckland and I do live in one of the towns that could be affected by the volcano.

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Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML

#20170608
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6990) - you deserved it (25263)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:47am - money - by TKay916 - United States (California)

TKay916's comment about their FML

Actually it is. I received a notice in the mail 2 weeks ago saying they'll renew my membership on the 25th and then bill me.

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Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

#20168611
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30020) - you deserved it (3893)

On 11/18/2012 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by lellow_171 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

lellow_171's comment about their FML

I'm OP. And here is the background. I did something stupid, he broke up with me earlier in the week but had told a friend of mine he'd consider getting back together if we talked about it, so I thought me getting back into counseling and us talking about it was fixing things. I don't think he knew it was break-up sex when we had it, but our pillow talk turned into him breaking up with me once again. I still love him, and he has always been great. I just blew things and when I thought they were being fixed, they actually weren't. So in a sense I deserve it, since he didn't really know it was break-up sex until he broke up with me a second time, right after the sex. So that was awesome. Sucks even more that it happened during the busiest week of school for the year (busier than finals for me). So all of my grades are being determined while I'm trying to get over a boy, and going back to counseling for major depression. AWESOME.

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Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

#20165158
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27969) - you deserved it (4535)

On 11/16/2012 at 4:40am - misc - by mfischer (man) - United States

mfischer's comment about their FML

I was wearing regular jeans. I do occasionally wear skinny jeans, but nothing like this ever happened.

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Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

#20162838
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24189) - you deserved it (5197)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:06am - intimacy - by fuzz94 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

fuzz94's comment about their FML

Nah, she was just shocked when my volcano erupted, and in a spout of horror and confusion she decided that my face would be an appropriate place to wipe her hand. At least she kept it off my clothes huh!

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Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

#20161959
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (1913)

On 11/13/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by ninjakomodo (man) - United States

ninjakomodo's comment about their FML

OP here, just for all of the people talking about self plagiarism, I checked. My university does not have that clause anywhere within the rules. I read through the entire thing and even checked with the legal department. I'm sure they will put it in after this. I have gone to the dean and they have forced the teacher to drop the case and give me the grade I deserved. They also decided, due to suggestion of the department head, that the department head himself will be grading everything that I submit to that teacher for the rest of the semester, and that I will not be able to take classes with that teacher anymore. I'm sure they will be evaluating their plagiarism rules more, and putting in a clause for self plagiarism, but we will see what happens. Luckily, I only have 2 more semesters there before I'm out of that school for good.

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Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

#20161213
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (2077)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Mmkay1515 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Mmkay1515's comment about their FML

Perhaps I should clarify here, for all of those that are wondering. I did, in fact, tell my brother various times to leave. I even tried to ditch him a couple of times Clearly you underestimate the power of an over protective older brother who is being offered money.

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Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

#20155883
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5845) - you deserved it (19587)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Kallian - Australia

Kallian's comment about their FML

18- It WAS a shit faced awesome night.

12- Yeah, I kinda was tripping.

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Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML

#20154141
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18855) - you deserved it (1626)

On 11/07/2012 at 8:38pm - health - by rahavan - United States (Washington)

rahavan's comment about their FML

Um no, I passed out and wrote this after I was forced to go to the hospital by my floors RA.

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Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

#20153704
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23092) - you deserved it (1615)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm - health - by pheebs314 - United States (Washington)

pheebs314's comment about their FML

to 18- I'm the op... I didn't realize I hadn't been signed in when I posted. Basically, I have had the same.insurance for years and been using it for the same birth control for at least 5. I'm not sure what happened... Some clerical error I guess. I had it figured out but it was definitely weird.

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Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20543) - you deserved it (3826)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

jailofc's comment about their FML

Hey everyone I am the OP,

I am a CO at a very "nice" jail as I like to think, we treat our inmates with respect as long as they show respect back ( I didn't mean to start a political debate here haha). Basically, I thought it was stupid to be bitched out about my "customer service" because that is a very strange thing to say about a jail, where SAFETY and SECURITY should be priority. And frankly, I don't believe my *accused* criminals should be served in any other way besides providing safety and security.

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Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

#20144283
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7856) - you deserved it (31225)

On 11/02/2012 at 11:39am - health - by Midnightpearls - United States

Midnightpearls's comment about their FML

TO ALL YOU PEOPLE ASKING WHY I WAITED: I'm at college and I still depend on my parents' income. I basically get one eye doctor visit a year because it's what we can afford. Alright, people?

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Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

#20138663
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10948) - you deserved it (23881)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:10pm - kids - by JiggaJayZ - United States

JiggaJayZ's comment about their FML

Nope she's prego. Broken condom. And we even took a morning after and that didn't work so yeah FML

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