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FML, the follow-up
Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.
Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML
ColoradoGirl420's comment about their FML
Hey All. I did immediately go wash up once I confirmed that he was okay, he thought I was going to kick him out for moshing, I don't think he realized quite yet that his nose was broken, he was pretty drunk. And I am a chick, not a dude :) I get tested regularly anyway, but he and I did have a conversation after he went and cleaned himself up too. I explained that I was worried about disease and he looked positively horrified at the thought and insisted that he was clean. But I did get checked, came back all good. And I love my job, it's only part time, I only work the big shows, been doing it for a while and this is the only time this has ever happened to me. It didn't scare me off like my boss thought it would when he saw me marching off in a huff to the ladies room to clean myself up! lol
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Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML
AsianSweets's comment about their FML
OP here! Hey guys, so just to clarify, I don't have any daddy issues and I know who my father is lol. It just caught me off guard that my boyfriend asked me that so I thought about it literally first instead of how my boyfriend meant to say it for fun. But either way was a buzzkill.
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Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML
KEA_08's comment about their FML
OP here, he was a lovely man until this. Weeks before this date he talked about Pete as if he were a real person. I thought I was going to meet his best friend...which I guess I did in one sense.
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Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML
Ma_Nikka's comment about their FML
Heyy! First I just wanna say happy belated birthday to those who shared the same birthday as me: #30 yeti37, #39 Shaowolf, and #66 amvelasco19's dad because I'm NOT an attention whore. So yes the customer ending up calling back claiming that she didn't receive her box of chocolate dipped apples along with her bouquet of chocolate dipped fruit that I delivered earlier. Since she signed the tag showing she had received her delivery my boss said that the delivery was successful and we don't have the box in our walk-in and that there's nothing we can do. We had the box and my boss let me have it. Karmas a bitch. Being in customer service I was genuinely just trying to be friendly as I have been with previous customers. This was the first time someone was rude. However I enjoyed my birthday anyway and thank you all for wishing me happy birthday! :D
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Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML
outthelabyrynth's comment about their FML
First things first: I'm a girl, and I'm not a prostitute. (That would pay much better, though)
I work at a restaurant with several managers who are all quite nice, but she's the boss of the whole restaurant so she's in charge of everything.
Now the thing is, she's quite nice to everyone... Except to me. I don't know what she has against me, but working with her is like getting a constant shitstorm over you. Always mean comments, giving me the worst tasks, and no matter how I improve myself, it's never good enough. She keeps telling me I'm too stupid to work there (which I'm not, I have higher qualifications than everyone there, but I need the money to save up for college) and when other people make a mistake, she blames me for it.
At this restaurant, when you want to quit, you have to tell her personally. The worst she can do is indeed yell at me. I'm not a shy person, but when people get angry at me or start yelling, I get really quiet and submissive and I feel like shit. I'll probably search for another job first, and then make up a believable story for why I want to quit, so she can't get too mad at me.
Thanks for all the support and I'll do my best to stand up!
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Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML
JustClaire95's comment about their FML
I'll prob just wear jeans from now on. Though it'd be funny to see them react to a mini skirt lol!
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Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML
HanBroman's comment about their FML
Op here, I know the doctors right. It's something I'd suspected for a while but I guess I was in denial. before it happens it feels nice, like I'm getting really close and then BAM all the pleasure stops and is replaced by frustration and sensitivity until i have to ask him to stop because it's so unpleasant. (I've tried pushing on and eventually it goes numb) and this is predominantly from clitoral stimulation. internally i feel even less. I've tried everything. vibrators, special lube, oral (which I actually hate), all kinds of things. I have an extremely supportive boyfriend who is willing to try absolutely anything but nothing helps and it's been a year since we became sexually active. it's become very hard for me to get turned on now since I find there's nothing to look forward to about sexual activity.
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Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML
naesha's comment about their FML
hey guys. Thanks for the positive comments. I guess she dididn't didn't realize I was his wife. Ib had twin a month ago and I brought them to the office. Here is when she sit down and decided to play with the boys. She went on to tell me about the affair & that shit is expecting. as for what I done I got up and left. I'm currently packing as I type.
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Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML
KennyJF7's comment about their FML
I'm the OP, and the bunny was in a patch of grass oddly taller than the rest, and I didn't know it was there until I backed up because I thought I hit a tennis ball for my dog.
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Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML
sh3lbst3r's comment about their FML
The only reason they could hear it was because my apartment has pretty thin walls and I was doing dishes, watching it on my laptop beside me. The volume was cranked so I could hear it and of course that suuuuper long scene with Little Finger and the two girls came on -_- They were good about the whole thing and laughed it off and I promised to turn it down.
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Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML
DarthVerona's comment about their FML
Ok, OP here. The first woman I asked did not even attempt to size me, just sent me to the 'plus' section. When I got to the plus section, she did not size me either, but looked me up and down and asked me what size t-shirt I wear. I usually wear a medium when I wear stretchy tees, large when I don't. She told me they will not have anything in my size in white ever. I should not go other places, either, I should just call and that way I don't have to be disappointed everywhere I go. Thank you guys for your words of encouragement, but I think I'm just going to not get a dress.
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