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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my 15 year-old brother told us his girlfriend is pregnant. He was taught in his abstinence-only sex ed that condoms don't prevent pregnancy. My parents are blaming her pregnancy on me, for not telling him the truth about sex, because parents giving their kids the sex talk is "too awkward." FML

#21506380
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26436) - you deserved it (1600)

On 12/21/2015 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by Serenadipity (woman) - United States

Serenadipity's comment about their FML

31- If I had any inkling of what was going on, I would have tried to do something about it. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend, let alone that he was having sex.

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Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML

#21506218
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22652) - you deserved it (2181)

On 12/21/2015 at 1:01pm - work - by Deweyboy (man) - United States

Deweyboy's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP Here.

I don't hate my job. My boss works awesomely with my schedule, I make a ton of money, and I work with a bunch of good people. I try my best to welcome everyone who comes in when I'm at the lead register, but my store can get about 8-900 customers a day, so my welcomes can be a little reflexive. I had just gotten up that morning, after working a 9 hour shift the night before, with a 7 hour shift ahead of me. I heard the cat push the door open, and I said it half-asleep with my siblings all around the table.

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Today, it's been three months since i went to my GP for a swollen foot. She sent me to a rheumatologist, a pulmonologist, vein ultrasound, DNA testing and finally an X-ray, which revealed I've been walking around on a broken foot. By now, the two bones are grown together at weird angles, forever. FML

#21505771
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21670) - you deserved it (1944)

On 12/20/2015 at 7:40am - health - by DeeZeeMb (man) - Slovenia (Maribor Commune)

DeeZeeMb's comment about their FML

I wanted to comment on this early, because the FML 300 character limit doesn't really allow for a proper explanation...

One day i suddenly started limping, and there was sometimes a strange clicking sensation in my foot as i was walking, but there was absolutelly no pain. A little later my foot was swollen, but still no pain, and i went to my doctor. She gave me Ibuprofen and sent me home. Obviously it didn't help with the swelling, so i went back. She gave me a stronger anti swelling medication, and sent me to the rheumatologist, since we couldn't figure out what was wrong. The rheumatologist gave me the strongest anti swelling medication they had, and sent me to the pulmonologist, vein ultrasound, urine tests, genetic blood testing and finally the x-ray which revealed two broken bones. The clicking sensation i felt during the first days was the two bones snapping back and forth while walking.

I was in complete shock when i found out i had two broken bones in my foot, and even more so, when i realized they were grown back together allready, but far from perfectly. I immediatelly went to a traumatologist, but they said there was nothing they could do, that i would have had to come to them in the first two weeks.

This actually all happened a year ago, and my foot is now slightly better, but still far from perfect. It is slightly deformed due to the bone callus that forms around the broken bones - it's pushing the healthy bones appart, making my foot wider than it should be. But this will go away, and i have high hopes that at least externally my foot will appear normal.

As for walking, i barelly limp anymore, so i have high hopes for that as well. But fact is, my foot will never be the same again...

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Today, I bought a PS4 online for my boyfriend's birthday. I put it on our joint credit card through Paypal to keep it a surprise. The company decided to ruin that surprise when they called him to confirm the transaction. FML

#21505701
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21576) - you deserved it (6263)

On 12/20/2015 at 1:36am - misc - by Sonata90 - Canada (Newfoundland)

Sonata90's comment about their FML

OP here, just wanted to expand on this. Both of our bank and credit cards are joint; the price wouldn't have made my bf suspicious because we seldom buy things with credit card, so there's no reason for him to check the account until we know one of us has made a purchase with it. But when we do, customer service doesn't usually call us to confirm-- I just got unlucky I guess.
Also, we're both gamers and someone was right to say couples that game together stay together; it's been three years for us now. Thanks for all the comments!

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Today, I mistook a tree in my back yard as an intruder and called the police. FML

#21505571
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (9625)

On 12/19/2015 at 5:45pm - misc - by SexxiKitty - United States (California)

SexxiKitty's comment about their FML

Hey everyone! OP here hoping to give you all some clarity!

First off, I wasn't high but I was tired and I wasn't wearing my glasses. I live on a farm in the middle of bumble-fuck nowhere and we have a small tree, about 5'6" tall, a little ways off our back porch. It was about 2:00 a.m. and my young daughter had gotten sick on her sheets so I was running to put them in the washing machine (which is in the barn) so that they wouldn't stain. I heard a rustling sound and I thought I saw a person moving out of the corner of my eye. Without my glasses and the fact that it was really dark mixed with my overall anxiety because my husband wasn't home caused me to drop the sheets and run back into the house to protect my kids. I know it's stupid and really horrible that I wasted precious resources on something so trivial but I was terrified. My husband is the head of a very small drug task force and even though we live in a pretty sleepy town, he still gets threats now and again. Furthermore we recently moved from Sacramento because I was almost kidnapped about 2 years ago while I was walking home from the park with my kids and I didn't want to take ANY chances. I was treated with respect by the great officers who came out and my husband was immediately notified. He wasn't able to come home right away but one of his off duty officers came by and stayed on the couch the rest of the night.

Thank you all for the well wishes and I appreciate all the great puns!! :)

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Today, my doctor told me I needed to eat more salt to keep my blood pressure from dropping dangerously low. He only shrugged when I pointed out that he had previously told me to eat a low-salt diet to control my vertigo. FML

#21505162
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21373) - you deserved it (1436)

On 12/18/2015 at 1:33pm - health - by bapbap - Canada (Manitoba)

bapbap's comment about their FML

I'm already on a ton of medication anyways. I'm trying to find a balance between too much and too little salt, it's just tricky. My doctor is usually pretty helpful, more so that others I've seen. My health issues are just kind of complex so it's a handful trying to keep it all under control.

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Today, I finished polishing a song I was working on for my girlfriend. The next words out of her mouth when we next spoke: "I want to break up." FML

#21505037
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20474) - you deserved it (1906)

On 12/18/2015 at 1:34am - love - by HobblinGoblin (man) - United States (California)

HobblinGoblin's comment about their FML

to clarify, she never heard the song. I practiced maybe a half hour a day for about a week, usually at night after she'd gone home.

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Today, I used my phone to take pictures of my hemorrhoids to show my doctor, forgetting I'd set my phone to upload all photos to a shared Dropbox account. My mother-in-law called. FML

#21504886
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17933) - you deserved it (7438)

On 12/17/2015 at 5:53pm - health - by NewMom1115 - United States (Washington)

NewMom1115's comment about their FML

OP here - wow, it's weird and awesome this made it on the site! Here is some follow-up info: my doctor suggested I take the pics to see if the hemorrhoids were getting worse. I'm a new mom, so I guess sleep deprivation explains why I forgot about the Dropbox account. :)

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Today, I was sucking on a candy and I began choking. A coworker rushed over to give me the Heimlich maneuver. That freed the candy from my throat, and also the shit from my bowels. FML

#21504811
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (2219)

On 12/17/2015 at 1:34pm - work - by NYM88 - Canada (Manitoba)

NYM88's comment about their FML

OP here. Firstly for those who automatically assumed my coworker was a male, you've made an ass out of you and supposedly me too. Secondly for those saying that they shouldn't have done the Heimlich maneuver and should have hit me on the back.. You've again made assumptions based on a lack of information. Unfortunately you are limited to the amount of characters your FML can be composed of so I had to leave out details. My coworker she first asked me if I could breathe, when I shook my head no, she gave a few thrusts with her palm to my back between the shoulder blades and when that failed to dislodge the candy she told me she was going to perform the Heimlich maneuver and I nodded and when she did she got it out in the first try thankfully and my ribs I think are still a bit tender from, I'd guess, bruising. And to those that said thankfully I'm alive.. Thanks, I am glad I am too even though cleaning up wasn't something I was glad about!

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Today, my grandma was sent to the hospital so I called out of work. My bosses told me that if I didn't come in I would be fired. I did so, only to find out they needed me there so I could close the restaurant while they left early to go to a party. FML

#21504650
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (1375)

On 12/17/2015 at 12:06am - work - by CLupo - United States (California)

CLupo's comment about their FML

OP here, all of the suggestions saying go to a higher up are great, but the only reason I can't do that is because it's a family owned restaurant. I am the assistant manager and I've been working there for almost a year; I've only called out twice. My bosses are the owners son and nephew. There's not much I can do about the situation other than leave the job as this isn't the first time they've left early while I closed the restaurant. Thank you all for the concern about my grandmother. She is doing alright now and she's stable.

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Today, I was at my job as a bagger in a grocery store when I felt the intense need to shit. On my way to the bathroom, an elderly customer insisted I go with her to find an item she needed, despite my telling her exactly where it was and that I was in a hurry. I didn't make it back to the bathroom. FML

#21504421
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19661) - you deserved it (1864)

On 12/16/2015 at 11:42am - work - by chocolateninja22 - United States (Arizona)

chocolateninja22's comment about their FML

OP here - I'd like to say it's funny how the first ever fml I posted got here, but anyway. As a point of clarification, the grocery store I work in is kind of like a Walmart, but more centered around food with a bit of clothes and shit like that. Basically the store is fucking huge. It's not unlikely to be able to walk the store and not see another employee on the floor who would be able to help. And what she needed was on the opposite side of the store to the bathroom. Yeah....luckily I only told my manager and she let me go home and clocked me out so I could just ditch. I haven't gotten any looks from coworkers so I may be in the clear

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Today, my sister finally came home from the hospital with my new baby nephew. When I got a chance to hold him, my mother mentioned that he looked a lot like me when I was a baby. My sister started crying. FML

#21504149
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (1550)

On 12/15/2015 at 7:32pm - misc - by hi_im_ughlee (woman) -

hi_im_ughlee's comment about their FML

Turns out it was just hormones. As you can see, I am a girl, so that kinda set my sister off because she wants her son to look like a boy. Also, my sister and I looked very much alike when we were growing up, so that could be why my mother sees a resemblance in my nephew. Anyway, she said it was nothing against me she's just emotionally overwhelmed, but hey I got an FML and a laugh out of it! Thanks for the congrats, hope it made you all laugh too! (:

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Today, I found out that rats have made my car their new home. I haven't even finished paying it off yet. FML

#21503794
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19392) - you deserved it (2132)

On 12/14/2015 at 9:16pm - misc - by InfestedCarOwner - United States (California)

InfestedCarOwner's comment about their FML

Hey Guys, OP here!

I'm amazed this got posted, haha. As for my rat situation - Thank you for all the suggestions. I'll definitely try and trap them in the sticky traps.

For anyone telling me to clean my car, I work in pizza delivery and my cars actually very clean. I have to clean it on a regular basis, But that doesn't mean it won't smell like food all the time.

A little extra backstory, Our neighbors had a rat infestation, too. We're assuming that whichever rats survived decided to make our trash cans their home, and since my car is right next to the trash cans, They got in.

Also, For the people saying to use cats - A family member suggested we use our kittens to get them out. Which I'm not going to do.

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