Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I went to class to take an important final for which I studied all week long and worked hard in class. Today, the teacher also told us that anyone who had an A did not have to take the final. I missed out on a trip to the Bahamas for this. FML

#21391257
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31591) - you deserved it (2978)

On 04/10/2015 at 12:42pm - misc - by callalilley - United States (New Jersey)

callalilley's comment about their FML

Hey guys! OP here! It stunk not going on vacation. From the beginning, we ALL thought we had to take the final. In the syllabus it said it was worth 30% of our grade. He's a new professor and this is a psychology class. I guess some type of experiment??? I was so mad, but I still have a 3.8 GPA to prove for it!!!

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML

#21391224
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28165) - you deserved it (2131)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by lovinlife028 - United States (Tennessee)

lovinlife028's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here!

Just to clarify, I normally DO cover my mouth when yawning. The wasp just beat me to the punch.

At least I'm not allergic, and it's definitely something I've been chuckling about most of the day. Luckily, my boyfriend was able to get me to see the bright side of this event. :)

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I went to a job interview. It would have been fine if I had remembered it was over the phone, and not in person. I drove two hours. FML

#21391174
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (9028)

On 04/10/2015 at 8:29am - work - by yuckduck - Canada (Manitoba)

yuckduck's comment about their FML

Ok guys, figured I'd give a quick update. Thanks to all of you who realized it was a mistake anyone could make! Lately I've been looking for a job, so I have a lot of interviews to keep straight. I had this interview, and another one tomorrow and they are both in the same town, I thought the interview tomorrow was the phone interview, and the one today was in person. Unfortunately I made a mistake, but I've learned to definitely keep my things more organized. The interviewer also completely understood and let me do it in person anyways. Hopefully you all learn from my mistake

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

#21390735
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27817) - you deserved it (2043)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:57pm - money - by TabbyCat87 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

TabbyCat87's comment about their FML

OP here. My insurance was liability only and I'm having trouble tracking down who lost the beam. Might have to eat the cost myself. Not fun but thankfully no one was injured!

See all the comments including 10 other original poster's reactions

Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML

#21390441
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27976) - you deserved it (2356)

On 04/09/2015 at 2:25am - misc - by ifeelsoloved (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

ifeelsoloved's comment about their FML

I didn't have enough room to tell the full story, but yeah... I'm pretty shy :/ I can talk to strangers and people fine and introduce myself to people, and I like to think I'm a nice person to be around, but I hate "inconvieniencing people" so I was scared to go over and ask if I could come too cause I thought my presence would make things awkward and ruin it for everyone... yeah.
My parents got mad at me too when I told them, but I'm just really socially awkward so that happens a lot. Also, they're just a really close group of friends with all the same classes, etc and I'm just sort of that weird outlier lol. Most of the people in the group were acquiantances who I talked to occasionally but weren't very close to, though there were a couple of friends I was closer with a couple years ago when neither of us really had friends then I am now.
And honestly, those "friends" definitely use me and take more than they give; they come to me for a shoulder to cry on and a secret-keeper to rant to but don't really talk to me otherwise... I'm the last resort :( I definitely recognize that they aren't he healthiest relationships, and I would disassociate myself from them altogether, but I honestly don't have anyone else ;-; Better to have half-friends than no one, reputation wise...
Plus, I'm transferring to a new school this year so yay for fresh starts! I'm just staying optimistic that I'll find some... more faithful friends I guess. Thank you to the people who posted nice messages, I honestly needed that :)

See all the comments

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

#21389898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27809) - you deserved it (3597)

On 04/08/2015 at 9:00am - animals - by Darbstar101 - Australia (Queensland)

Darbstar101's comment about their FML

OP here, yes the girl was fine and laughing when I ran up to her to see if she was okay. My dogs just a very large, very excitable english mastiff puppy and the girl loves dogs so it worked out fine after I bought her another ice-cream. And my puppy wasn't on a leash because we were at a dog park playing with other dogs and she was very fired up. The little girls parent saw what happened and were very understanding :)

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

#21389890
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (2311)

On 04/08/2015 at 8:26am - health - by NotDying (woman) - United States (California)

NotDying's comment about their FML

Thanks for the comments and suggestions. This has actually happened to me a few times before. I have a strange medical condition that affects my hormones, so that is the most likely culprit. I am seeing quite a few doctors, and none of them are very concerned. They have conducted quite a few tests and nothing was too out of the ordinary. I do not have a tumor (thankfully).
To #1, I have been told not to express it because that can encourage my body to produce more milk, but that was quite a nice suggestion. I didn't actually know they did that. :)
#3 I am actually not on the pill because I reacted badly to it due to my condition. (I had my period for 5 months straight. Yeah, that wasn't very fun)
Also, to everyone suggesting I may be pregnant, my purity ring would beg to differ ;P
Again, thanks for the concern and the laughs :) but the situation is under control.
Bye!

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I did the smart thing and bought an umbrella before walking to work. My efforts proved useless when a truck ran through a huge puddle and drenched me from head to toe. My underwear was still wet 4 hours later. FML

#21389865
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25593) - you deserved it (1741)

On 04/08/2015 at 7:05am - misc - by Tadpolecrusader (woman) - Australia

Tadpolecrusader's comment about their FML

I love reading your comments, they are amazing :D I thought it only happened in comics that sort of thing too. But the sheer force of this wave actually made me nearly fall over (the road drainage pipe was blocked I can only assume). And living in Australia means that we are not used to much rain. But I sure was wishing I had taken more notice.
That being said, I can also add that the idea of bring extra clothes to work because of rain is a fairly foreign idea to us. Usually its just a light sprinkle throughout the day if at all, so often people don't even worry about an umbrella, unless we know its going to get heavy.
As for work, I don't think my manager cared too much, she just found me a towel and let me do what I needed to. And I have no idea if the truck driver did it on purpose or even noticed. But judging the position of everything, I would say it was unavoidable for him. And he was coming up behind me, so I don't see him coming to avoid it.
10/10 will be more careful in the future :)

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I was talking with my mother. As we went to say goodbye, she said "I love you". Out of habit of saying I love you to my girlfriend, I said, "Love you too babe". FML

#21389531
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25504) - you deserved it (5261)

On 04/07/2015 at 7:57pm - misc - by _1CrazyEyes1_ (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

_1CrazyEyes1_'s comment about their FML

OP here. First off I am a girl. Second we were talking on the phone so it was not as awkward as it could have been. The awkward thing is that she didn't really approve of my relationship at first and still is getting adjusted to the idea. She kind of just laughed it off but I couldn't tell if it was an awkward silence laugh or a funny laugh.

See all the comments

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33990) - you deserved it (2982)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:03pm - health - by stitchesgirl12 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

stitchesgirl12's comment about their FML

OP here! No, my stitches weren't anywhere near my butt, I have a bunch on my arm. And, well.. the doctor sewed me up really tight, and I legitimately ripped them while pushing. Lmao. Not my finest moment, but definitely FML worthy. The doctors in the Niagara Region were half asleep over the Easter weekend, my sewed up wound actually looks like a vagina.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I woke up to it raining. My area really needs it, so it's great. I didn't expect to wake up to a hole in the roof though. FML

#21389166
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30503) - you deserved it (2247)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:38am - misc - by mrningbrd - United States

mrningbrd's comment about their FML

Hello im op. I live in california, so its nice to have rain. It rained so hard last night that there's a steady dribble of rain dripping on my bed. We're short on money right now though, so it'll be a while until it can be fixed

See all the comments

Today, after over six weeks of not getting a single shift at my part time job, I finally went in to meet my new manager. He didn't even know I existed. Apparently my old manager lied and said I quit so they hired someone else. FML

#21389097
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33269) - you deserved it (5477)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nattlecakes - United States (California)

nattlecakes's comment about their FML

Alright. OP here. My workplace switched managers due to our store getting a bad rating from corporate and sales basically tanking. He was demoted to a different store and instead decided to quit. I wasn't getting hours before my old manager left either. I had talked to him and he said the ratio with sales versus hours employees are working was out of whack or something along those lines, and since I hadn't been fully trained yet I couldn't run the shop on my own or even with one to two others there since they would have been either doing all the work or they wouldn't have needed me there. Also pretty much very other co worker had been whittled down to only one to three shifts a week other than the supervisors so that was out of my control but things are supposed to change when the new manager comes in. My new manager comes in a few weeks ago and I was still coming in every week to check the schedule. At this point nobody knew that's what my old manager had said. I kept seeing coworkers and talking to them, but never my new manager so I checked to see when he would be in. Inconveniently, just after this new manager transferred to our store he went on a two and a half week vacation (three weeks of work). The day he comes back in I come in and introduce myself and say I would like to discuss hours, and he has the most confused look on his face ever. I punch in my employee number and it says I am no longer employed. That's when we called the owner and figure out what had happened. They said they would call me. That was on Saturday and it's now Tuesday, so i have no idea whether or not I will be getting my job back. Either way I am looking for employment elsewhere since I obviously don't have much stability at my current workplace and the business is suffering badly anyway.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML

#21388553
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26702) - you deserved it (12051)

On 04/06/2015 at 9:54am - intimacy - by PeppermintPenny (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

PeppermintPenny's comment about their FML

OP here, hi. I REALLY can’t believe this got posted. Out of all the times I tried, this FML had to be my first that got published. I would’ve preferred some others, but that’s what you get for trying I guess. I bet you’re all wondering about my age, I’m 19.
Being completely curious about the background of most FMLs, I promised myself I’d do a follow-up no matter what, so here it is. It seems my post has divided the community.

I trim! Thanks to everyone jumping to my defense saying that unshaven/untrimed hair isn’t strong enough to pierce through clothing. It has grown a little longer in the last couple of weeks since I’m currently at home for the semester break and left my trimmer in my apartment at the university (I have a seperate razor for my armpits). But its still in a normal range even if I say so myself.

To the event itself: I haven’t been feeling well the last few days and had been wearing the sweatpants, that are a little on the flimsy side, for a little over 24 hours. I was with my family but they didn’t pay attention to me. In our house everywhere is cat hair, so its not a notable thing to pick a few of the cats hairs of your clothing. Imagine my surprise when I tried removing that particular hair and I felt a tuck. It didn’t hurt, like some might think, cause I don’t rip cat hair from my clothing. I got up, washed my hands and moved my sweatpants around so it was tucked back in. Not a permanent solution, I know, but I do plan on taking care of it this week. I hope you all understand that I mean I will trim this week.

To all those people saying „EWWW, OP YOU HAVE TO SHAVE“: I’m not here to please you and I can do whatever I want with my body as long as it doesn’t affect others and believe me, this sure as hell doesn’t affect you, so please hold back your unwanted advice.

On the hygienic viewpoint: I have never read this much about vaginal care at once, and that on FML. While you can do whatever you feel right about, don’t lecture me on what you THINK is best. I like lifestyle advice best with facts that have been scientifically proven. Ratings in the porn industry don’t count. The pro bush front almost has me convinced to let it sprout, because it appears to have a lot of (hygienic) advantages, but I think I strike the happy medium and keep with neat trimming. I would ask my boyfriend on his preference, but I’m single (always have been and fear that I always will be, but I think that‘s another FML altogether).

I hope I answered most of your questions. I’m purposly not answering all of them, but if you ask nicely and respectfully maybe I will.

Thanks again to those who defended me and didn’t assume I was a unhygienic, disgusting bitch, just because I let my pubic hair grow a little. You’re the best and I really feel accepted here and much better about the FML. Without you, there probably wouldn’t be a follow-up.
Also some comments really made me laugh out loud, keep up the good work!

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: