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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37945) - you deserved it (8075)

On 06/20/2013 at 10:23pm - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States

accountnamevalid's comment about their FML

We had a very amicable divorce. I'll admit I laughed a bit, but waiting on that key cost me cab and bus fare, when I could have called the locksmith I'll have to call anyway.

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Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

#20737761
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37697) - you deserved it (12306)

On 06/20/2013 at 7:28pm - misc - by Sydney1600 (woman) - United States (California)

Sydney1600's comment about their FML

I was KINDLY telling her how it wasn't "cool" to like her own stuff. She accepted my tip with a warming smile. We have a close relationship, so it wasn't surprising that she did that. The picture wasn't too exposing. All you could see was my bottom. My friends now joke about it, so it was easy to get over it. Now my mom is the "cool mom." The worst part would have to be that she now gets more likes on her post than I do. So much for liking her own pictures.

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Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

#20736945
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44451) - you deserved it (2891)

On 06/20/2013 at 10:10am - health - by Becckzfizz (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Becckzfizz's comment about their FML

Hello, I wrote this, Yes I'm in England. I'd text my mum to let her know that I was on my way home, she'd replied and all was well. Next thing I know she's ringing me again thinking that I've done a runner from the hospital. The doctor had discharged me and signed all of my forms, though the nurses on duty had not been notified of this and immediately called the police to report me as a missing person (even though I was waiting for my taxi in the hospital entrance), the police then contacted my emergency contact (my mum) and then she called me. I understand that it wasn't the Doctors fault, it was just a clerical error. All clear?

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Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML

#20736550
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43470) - you deserved it (4253)

On 06/20/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by aimee_alexis (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

aimee_alexis's comment about their FML

hey guys, i cant log into my account i made this post on so i made a new one! The cop told her she was being outrageous and told her to only call for emergencies. Since I live in Canada, if it really was weed, the police probably wouldnt do anything about it anyways. My neighbour is even more pissed off now, and since i live in a townhouse unit she has really been watching me closely. FYI, yes I am only 14 but its only an e cigarette.

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Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

#20733203
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20953) - you deserved it (42734)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by kittykittyrun (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

kittykittyrun's comment about their FML

I always cut my own bangs and they always look good, this time I just tried something new and watched a YouTube video and the girls hair looked amazing, but I just wasn't paying attention to how much I pulled forward, which I usually do, and ended up cutting off more than I should have. I don't regret doing it. Hair grows back and I'm not too worried.

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Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

#20732775
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58741) - you deserved it (3528)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:34am - kids - by evilmuffinlord (woman) - United States (Texas)

evilmuffinlord's comment about their FML

hello! OP here. Originally, I was very upset, I hadn't been home when it happened and when I came back I found out. I have since talked to my parents, and found out my mom was the one who did it, but she put the extra money back into my bank account. I do live with my parents until I go off to college. The Ipad was an overzealous purchase, and after messing with the tablet its not so bad. As for my brother, my dad sat him down and talked to him about how it was wrong to do that and he needs to earn stuff, etc etc etc. And his tablet will be returned. So I guess in a sense everything is ok now. xD I wasnt expecting to have this accepted, I didn't even have an account till this morning.

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Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

#20730051
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38935) - you deserved it (3124)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:58pm - kids - by Married2handsome - United States (Florida)

Married2handsome's comment about their FML

Yes, he's a cool dad! No, it was certainly NOT on purpose. :) Although she says it hurt, she too thought it funny and requested I place it as a FB status and FML!

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Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML

#20730032
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39704) - you deserved it (4663)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:48pm - love - by kiss98367 (woman) - United States

kiss98367's comment about their FML

Haha, thanks for the support everyone. To add to my FML story, my ex knew by our third date that I go shooting. I found out from our mutual friend that he didn't think I was "cheap and dangerous" until his ex before me (at a party where I was unable to attend) started talking trash when she overheard him telling a couple of buddies that I shoot targets and reload my own shells. I'm 22, I have a full time job, and I have my own 2 bd apartment and a truck payment (among other bills). If I can save a little money, I will. Traveling for competitions and entry fees can get expensive. The thing that makes me laugh is his ex is my age, works about 15 hours a week, and has all her bills paid by her parents (she doesn't go to school or anything either). She uses the cash she earns to buy expensive clothing and what not (which according to her, I could "never afford"). Sorry I have different priorities in my life? Lol. As an update, two of my ex's friends (and yes, this includes his best friend) have asked me out since our breakup. My ex also sent a txt to me this morning saying that he messed up. I guess his friends talked some sense in to him. It's too late though. Goes to show that you probably shouldn't take advice from a jealous ex girlfriend. Just saying.

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Today, my boss threatened to fire me for showing up at work early. His reasoning is that it looks bad when his workers show up before dawn and work later than he does. He assigned me these hours specifically to accommodate one of our clients. FML

#20725768
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41377) - you deserved it (2763)

On 06/14/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by wtfwhyfml (woman) - United States

wtfwhyfml's comment about their FML

OP here. I normally get to work before dawn; so he was just being a dick. I work as a home care provider for a little old lady with severe mental issues, who's husband/primary care provider works early mornings, as he owns his own lawn care business and where I live the heat is oppressive by noon. However, today he had to work late to make up contracted appointments he'd missed last week because of equipment problems; and for once cleared the hour change via the office. Hence, jackhole supervisor acting a fool. As for finding a new job; I plan to finish this one then move on; her husband is retiring in less then a year and she is extremely picky about care givers. I'm one of two that has lasted more then three weeks; and I refuse to put her and her family through finding a new provider like that.

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Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#20724782
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35330) - you deserved it (3689)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:39am - health - by hi_there4397 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

hi_there4397's comment about their FML

Hey there! I'm the OP :) I'm so happy this actually got published! Ok so just to clarify things I'm well over the minimum weight to donate and I ate food and drank liquids before, during, and after the donation. It was an hour later and we went to a place called organ stop pizza (lovely restaurant in AZ) and I started feeling dizzy most likely because the lights started flashing and loud music was playing. I got up to go to the bathroom (to puke :P) and on my way there I passed out. But I fell on my knees and caught myself before blacking out. The ambulance came and said all my levels were normal besides my low blood pressure and they let me go home to lie down and eat ice cream. So sorry for the long post but if you read this far then I love you! PS this incident won't stop me from donating again (I'm AB+) I'll just tell them to maybe do a reduced volume next time :)

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Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

#20722786
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36917) - you deserved it (27238)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by sugarysofalof - United States (Colorado)

sugarysofalof's comment about their FML

Hahahaha I was wondering why my bottom lip looked slightly fuller today...now I am reminded. This happened late last night. Somehow that response was involuntary. If that labels me with stereotypical American idiocy, so be it. I wouldn't have posted this on FML if I was looking for sympathy :)

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Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML

#20720825
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44882) - you deserved it (7646)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:57am - money - by redvolvo23 - United States

redvolvo23's comment about their FML

First of all ... My grandma was throwing away my outgoing mail, I own rental properties and I pay with money orders so I'm always right on my bank account, a lot of my payments are the same every month I never gave it a thought to double check, cause it's like clockwork. Even had I written checks my statements come quarterly. I keep copies of my money orders thankfully. As for my grandma we didn't realize she was this bad...

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Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

#20719692
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59742) - you deserved it (9926)

On 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm - love - by lsababy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

lsababy's comment about their FML

I agree, I probably I deserved it for making him go, but we've been dating for a year and a half and I figured it was way passed time. Haha!
It was extremely awkward and my boyfriend I were both beet red in the face, but luckily my parents are awesome and know he was super nervous, so they just kinda changed the subject and pretended that was never said. My brother high fived him.
And yes.. more like F his life.

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