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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41689) - you deserved it (9020)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

accountnamevalid's comment about their FML

It was a Greyhound, and I'd been up for 2 days. He didn't say a word to me about it. After I was told by the lady behind me, I apologized profusely, and he said "it's alright. I figured you must really need the sleep." Super nice guy, but I wanted to die.

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Today, I woke up with a half-shaved head, thanks to the friends I let crash at my place last night. I have work in an hour and a half, and they hid my hair clippers. FML

#20793566
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36229) - you deserved it (4298)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:47am - work - by Eisenhorn (man) - United States

Eisenhorn's comment about their FML

Thanks for all the great replies, it is awesome to have one of my stories put up. My friends were kind enough to give me back my clippers before work, so I had enough time to get ready. To give a better image to everyone, my hair was about shoulder length and very curly. On the plus side, it is a lot cooler for me now than it previously was. We were able to have a good laugh about it, and I have payback to look forward to.

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Today, after being unemployed for almost two years, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from my bedroom window. FML

#20792051
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47973) - you deserved it (4222)

On 07/19/2013 at 8:31am - work - by yoshithecat - United Kingdom (Slough)

yoshithecat's comment about their FML

I don't live on a hill, the building where I would've been working is a bit tall as well which works into me being able to see it from my window. The building is all of a mile from my flat. No, lol it isn't the Shard!

I did express this to them and their response then was telling me they found someone more suited for the position. I have no clue why they didn't bother saying that in the first place though. A funny thought though, I put my postcode on my CV, so if they actually thought a little into the lie they fed me, maybe they'd have just stuck with the truth in the first place.

Thanks for all the positive feedback, sorry I wasn't more clear in the original post - expressing I was a mile away from the building. Hopefully I'll get a job soon! *crosses fingers*

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Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

#20791944
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58124) - you deserved it (2840)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by Kat_Styles - United States (Michigan)

Kat_Styles's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here.
So as a quick update, there are several things I want to add.
1. My dentist was 65, very healthy, and his passing was very unfortunate. But now he's with his wife, who passed away from breast cancer about three years ago.
2. It says 'Employee' at the top because my mother was one of his dental hygienists, and I had worked for him as a secretary for a few months before he died.
3. The dental hygienists in the office obviously started CPR right away. They even shocked him twice, but he wasn't responding to anything. Paramedics took him away in an ambulance, but nothing they did was successful. It's quite ironic because my dentist always used to joke that he required his hygienists to have lots of CPR training, etc, because he was the one who was going to need it. We always thought he was kidding, but unfortunately, that was exactly what happened.
4. For those of you saying 'she deserved it' or 'why didn't she start CPR,' or 'her breath killed him lol,' understand a few things. One, I don't see how I deserved it, but that's your opinion. Two, I'm 19, I don't know how to perform CPR, and within a minute, there were three certified, trained, professionals tending to him. Three, even if it was possible to kill someone with your breath, my mom is a dental hygienist. My teeth are quite nice, if I do say so myself.
Thanks for all your nice messages, and I hope you never have to experience something as terrible as I did.

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Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML

#20791518
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48295) - you deserved it (7822)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Misshhh - Canada (British Columbia)

Misshhh's comment about their FML

Hey guys! This is OP and let me tell you the whole story lol. This actually happened last year and usually I don't go out (social anxiety) my friends knew this, one of my best friends set me up with him and she said he was cool and "nice/trustworthy" I was hesitant to go because I didn't think it would go well.. I was right. We met up at the mall and hung out for a bit, talked, I was surprised I had a semi good time and saw him more as a friend. The only reason I asked if he could drive me home was because I didn't have any change for the bus and I was quite in a hurry to go home, he said sure and along the way he told me about some more of his interests and how he and his friends go "ghost hunting".. Of course I thought this was weird but I have a pretty open mind.. This is where he was getting creepy. He stopped at the pitch black road because apparently there was this tree where when girls stand beside this tree and a picture is taken, A man is seen standing next to her, he told me to get out of the car, he actually took my picture and then it seemed he had a phone call, he called me over to take my bag, and he drove off.. (Another car was behind him) thinking he would come back, I patiently waited, he never came back, I called this guy a bunch of times asking him what was going on and why he left me there.. All I got was his voicemail.. And then I got a text from his "friend" saying: "take a taxi home, we're at Burger King". I panicked and called the police, I broke down because of an anxiety attack, I had to walk a long dark path just to find a street where they could come find me, I explained my situation, I unfortunately didn't get his licence plate number. I guess the police felt a little bad for me and dropped me off home. I slept it off. When I got up the next morning he sent me a text with the following message: "hey! I had a great time last night! I sure did", I told him he was a psycho path and there was no way of a second date, he then responded with "awe I'm sorry baby.. Xoxoxoxo". Some people are truly messed up

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Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML

#20791311
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39686) - you deserved it (14797)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:27pm - work - by cyn1cal99 - United States (Kansas)

cyn1cal99's comment about their FML

Hey Guys. A lot of you have been asking why I mowed this neighbors lawn. Well, for one the person living there is an older person and while they probably could do it themselves, I don't think they should have to. My other reason for it, is that I mow the houses on the right, and left of it for pay. I find it more convenient to just mow all three of them across at once.

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Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

#20789996
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69456) - you deserved it (6842)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by coldstar (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

coldstar's comment about their FML

Just to clarify a few things: my two adult cats (the mother and the baby-eater) are sisters. I had planned to have them both spayed a few months ago but the baby-eater was very unwell at the time, so I decided to postpone the spaying for both of them so that I could eventually get them both done at the same time. By the time the unwell cat had recovered the other had already snuck out of the house and fallen pregnant, so I resigned myself to letting her have the kittens and then taking them both to be fixed. That's how this situation happened.

To those questioning whether I was aware of the potential danger, yes I was, but the mother cat is usually dominant to her sister and intimidates her a lot, so I assumed she'd chase her away if she tried to go near the newborns. Instead she seemed indifferent to the situation and simply stood by while her sister killed the litter. As for why I did not intervene, I was not in the room at the time. I entered the room and saw the cat had given birth, then exited the room to go and fetch her some extra food and water. When I returned I found the sister in the room with blood around her mouth, half a leg on the floor, and the mother sitting off to one side washing herself. As I stared at the scene in a mixture of surprise and revulsion, the killer began coughing violently then vomited. So that's how you came to read about this event.

As for those suggesting I should punish the killer in some way, I am not going to. She was just acting on instinct, like all non-human animals do.

And I think that's all I have to say for now. Sorry for the long comment.

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Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML

#20789561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38628) - you deserved it (5342)

On 07/18/2013 at 12:04am - misc - by james52 - United States (Texas)

james52's comment about their FML

Hey, I talked to him about it and he denied it and then said sorry. We've been together for four years (high school sweethearts). we've been fighting for a long while and we both think its time for a change. I still love him very much but think its time for someone to appreciate me.

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Today, the family I live with decided that beer is a more important purchase than the things we need, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towels should suffice. FML

#20788853
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35550) - you deserved it (3122)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by alyssuhh526 (woman) - United States (Texas)

alyssuhh526's comment about their FML

I appreciate you guy's concerns, but really I am fine. I do live with a foster family and they are the sweetest. I'm not in danger or anything of that nature. They give me clean clothes and a comfy bed to sleep in, and three meals a day. I turn 16 in a few weeks so I'll be getting a job at a local grocery. And no they are not "rednecks," they are just great Mid Westerners. It was nothing worth getting anyone in trouble about. Again, thanks guys!

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Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

#20786314
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44820) - you deserved it (2677)

On 07/16/2013 at 1:25pm - health - by Orchard (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Orchard's comment about their FML

Hi, this is the OP. I told them in triage with tears streaming down my face that I thought it was a kidney stone. I was in so much pain I could barely fill out the forms. There were only a couple of possibilities as to the source of pain to begin with since the pain was all down my left flank and upper left quadrant. I have medical training so I wasn't too shocked to find out it was a kidney stone. What was shocking was they thought I was faking to get a drug fix, put me on the back burner, then acted like it was somehow my fault for not being seen sooner so they could help manage the pain.

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Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

#20786208
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40472) - you deserved it (2450)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by ScenicSubterfuge - United States (Texas)

ScenicSubterfuge's comment about their FML

OP here, that thought hasn't even crossed my mind! That's scary! Haha, she's fine now, but we're already considering moving her to an old folks home -- she's in her late 70s -- so that'll be the next move!

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Today, I'm expected to buy a bassinet and/or a stroller/car-seat for my nephew because my brother trusted the pullout method for contraception. FML

#20785515
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35909) - you deserved it (3643)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:20am - kids - by Zebediabolical (man) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Zebediabolical's comment about their FML

OP here, let me shed a little more light on this situation.

I came into a little money last year as a settlement from a car accident three years before. I've been dodging 'can you loan me' calls from friends and family ever since. I guess this is the one time they think they've got me cornered and can make withdrawals from the Bank of Zebediabolical.

I have no problem with helping out with baby stuff. I'd intended to buy them a truckload of diapers in varying sizes and other stuff like that. But apparently there is a gift registry and most of the other items have been purchased already, leaving me with the bassinet or carseat that attaches to a stroller thingy.

I'd be fine with that too, if they hadn't picked out ones with all the bells and whistles. Rugged and offroad capable, Wifi, dual cupholders, iPod docks, phone rechargers, Bluetooth, climate control, spinnaz on the wheels, etc. Yes, I'm exaggerating but not by much. I told them I'd get them functional gear but not flashy stuff like that.

Apparently that makes me a bad person, and I got a bunch of familial pressure to buy them blinged out baby stuff. I don't like to feel obligated and I've got principles about stuff like that.

Today was the coed shower thing, and they didn't get bling. They got a functional and relatively cheap and well-rated stroller (according to Consumer Reports) and one of those cross-body slings that I see a lot of women at the Farmer's Market carrying their baby's about in. And a fuckton of vouchers for diapers.

They tried to make me feel bad about what I got them, so I left and went out with some friends.

That's my story. Thanks for your support, guys and gals.

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Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

#20784199
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39986) - you deserved it (3005)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:15pm - work - by thatkid00117 - United States (New Jersey)

thatkid00117's comment about their FML

Hey guys, it was a pretty rough day so I wasn't surprised at least one person encountered trouble, and he didn't speak a word whilst he was gripped tightly to the flotation device. Once on shore I asked him if he was alright and instructed him how not to get caught in another rip current. He promptly to me to "f off" and that he didn't need help. At that point his girlfriend ran up to ask if he was hurt, and everything went downhill from there. I appreciate the sympathy, but it would be a little irresponsible of me to let the man die :)

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