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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

#20685040
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44146) - you deserved it (15421)

On 05/25/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by Cristoforo - United States (New York)

Cristoforo's comment about their FML

To follow up, I was watching Star Trek: Into Darkness (really great movie) and the only ones sitting next to me were my friends. We were sitting in the middle front, I could hear a few "ew's" from the rows behind me but I heard more laughs. I kept my face straight forward and tried to pretend it wasn't me lol

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Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41334) - you deserved it (3932)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States

JDziewaltowski's comment about their FML

After speaking with the chief of police, the officer who stopped me, and a lawyer, we've all come to the conclusion that yes, it was a case of excessive force. The officer took a split second glance, and "panicked" No I'm not sue happy, I got my apology, even though I could take it to court, win, and "fuck the police" I'm not. At the end of the conversation, we even had a laugh at the fact that officer aggression needs a chill pill. Although I did get a pretty decent bruise on my chest/shoulder. No harm done.

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Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

#20682243
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12904) - you deserved it (104150)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by faitoh - United Kingdom (Lisburn)

faitoh's comment about their FML

Um, OP here. Scared to reply because of the abuse I've been getting but obviously I deserved it, I know that.

1. I guess I posted it as an FML because I realised how much of a dick/arsehole/cunt/wanker I'd been...
2. The guy wasn't cycling to the side like he should have been, he was more out to the middle. I just lost my cool to be honest, if he doesn't care about his safety by doing that, why should I bother about not making him jump? (unpopular opinion obviously...)
3. I should probably point out that this was a quiet road, I was the only car, otherwise I wouldn't have done it, which may be surprising to some of you...
4. He caught up to me because I slowed back down to normal speed after about 30 seconds. Guess he was stronger than I thought.
5. I KNOW I'm a colossal twat. But I still hate cyclists. Some of them are SO up their own arses. Having said that, I WILL NEVER EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN.

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Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

#20680298
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34373) - you deserved it (3938)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by AwkwardHaole808 - United States (Hawaii)

AwkwardHaole808's comment about their FML

My friend isn't suffering from depression. She told me she did this stunt because she couldn't get the package that she wanted and that this would "show her parents".

Also, yes this doesn't affect me nearly as much as it does her or her loved ones. However, I am her friend and don't want to lose a good friend over something so small.

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Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

#20679700
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42188) - you deserved it (3449)

On 05/22/2013 at 12:47pm - kids - by Kittykat900 (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Kittykat900's comment about their FML

Hi OP here, a little extra detail. My little girl (7 years old) is having her "bad haircut faze" she is self conscious about it and it didn't help that she overheard this obnoxious woman! I had to spend hours building back up her confidence. It was truly a horrible thing to do. Sorry it doesn't show up as mine as I posted it from my phone and then made an account!

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Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

#20677737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37084) - you deserved it (6400)

On 05/21/2013 at 1:20pm - misc - by psuedodragon (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

psuedodragon's comment about their FML

Funny you should mention zombie attacks... The reason I was late was because I slept through my alarm after a particularly intense, long weekend, zombie survival prep camp (basically a lot of running in between short classes on survival skills for three days). I know I shouldn't have been speeding, but it was important enough that the $135 would have been worth paying... y'know, if they hadn't forgotten to tell me it was cancelled...

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Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

#20675316
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37289) - you deserved it (4437)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by ElhonnaDS (woman) - United States (New York)

ElhonnaDS's comment about their FML

OP here- A couple of points of clarification:

1) She wasn't paying the bills- I was looking for a cheaper apartment. We'd have gone down from a 3-bedroom to a studio. Where I live, I would have been paying a pretty standard rate for what a studio is- it was just convenient to be renting from family, with whom I generally get along.

2) He's my fiancee now. We'd have been married by the time we moved in.

3) She has definitely had some interesting idea manifest over the last couple of years, as she has begun reading the Gospel according to Saint Google. It seems these days she will take any chain e-mail she gets with about the same degree of seriousness as the actual Bible. For most of my life, we have had very normal and respectful boundaries about our differences in belief. I knew she had some odd ideas, but the idea that she would demand to have control over every book, movie, piece of clothing, game, etc. that we had in an apartment we were paying to rent was much further out than I thought she was.

4) When I say she thinks they are demonic, I don't mean she doesn't want me watching Hellboy or other movies that are about demons. What she specifically said is that the physical objects (outlined as movies and books that depicted violence, sex, horror, fantasy, aliens, superheroes, any object that had any cultural reference that could be traced to a non-Christian religion or superstition, satanic heavy metal and video games, etc.) were actually all carrying demonic spirits in a real and physical sense, which would be brought into the apartment with them, and she needed to protect herself by not letting us bring the demons in (the apartment, while having a separate entrance, is attached to her house).

So, needless to say, we thanked her very much and cancelled our plans to move into that apartment pretty much immediately. The FML is mostly that she's so far gone from when I was younger, and that she sprung this on us after we told everyone we were taking the apartment, rather than up front when we discussed rent, parking, furniture and pretty much every other detail.

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Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

#20674768
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45332) - you deserved it (2760)

On 05/20/2013 at 1:44am - health - by KatielSilver - United States (Washington)

KatielSilver's comment about their FML

It was an ATV "accident". My ex - boyfriend broke up with me on the trail and then purposely spun us around a turn too fast and I was thrown off the back. He still doesn't understand why I didn't find it funny like he did...

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Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

#20671502
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59221) - you deserved it (3475)

On 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm - health - by mackmackey (man) - United States (Arizona)

mackmackey's comment about their FML

hey OP here, thanks to many of you for suggesting a lawsuit, I'll consider it! Btw, it was at an urgent care and not a real hospital

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Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46910) - you deserved it (3462)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

JACKxRAWR's comment about their FML

OP here. The bastard didn't even knock and left the package in a post office the other side of town, even though I live five minutes from a sorting office.

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46910) - you deserved it (3462)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

JACKxRAWR's comment about their FML

OP here. I sent them a lovely long email regarding customer service.:)

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Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

#20666917
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (36152)

On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Calaraphea's comment about their FML

OP here. I didn't expect it to be noted as a medical bracelet substitute. It's very artsy and colourful; it also has a date underneath so I didn't expect people to think it was due to an illness.

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Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

#20664946
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41189) - you deserved it (8361)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by lackadaisy_leah - United States

lackadaisy_leah's comment about their FML

OP here. My mom is super awesome, and it was actually really funny. I just thought sharing it with FML would be fun. :) As far as the status, it wasn't an attention thing, I was just remarking on an elderly couple I saw walking the mall and wanted to post about it. The bit about my boyfriend was just an add-on.

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