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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42147) - you deserved it (4984)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Parentalfailure's comment about their FML

This is OP, here to clear a few things up. For the person who asked, it was a male/female couple. He had pulled out a knife on the girl and that set the guy into attack mode or something, since he started punching my son in the face. The girl pushed him down and then the guy pinned him till the cops showed up. Yes, the call came from him asking for bail, which I did NOT post. He has been involved in illegal activities since he was 17, and this was the final straw. His trial starts in about a week (this happened about six months ago) and the prosecution is going for armed robbery. I hate to say it but I hope they get a conviction, he needs a wake up call. For those who posted supportive comments thank you, for those who blamed me, it is probably my fault for how I raised him. Hope this clears some things up. OP

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Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

#20796800
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45449) - you deserved it (3288)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by 27161697 - United States (Massachusetts)

27161697's comment about their FML

hey I'm the OP and what happened was that we were both sleeping in the same room (well she was asleep) and she started snoring so i yelled at her which woke her up. then she realized that she had to use the bathroom so half asleep she took her bathrobe off and sat on the toilet. she fell back asleep because she went to bed about 2 hours before and had to wake up in another 2 hours to catch a plane. my mom is only 50 and i am 15. by the way all of your comments made me laugh and yeah i really do wish that memory would erase!

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Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

#20796172
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46214) - you deserved it (23935)

On 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by gavinbanks - United States (Oregon)

gavinbanks's comment about their FML

Hey everyone! Op here, thought I'd clear some things up. I had my phone on me but it was dead that night. I actually saw the girl again last night at another party, I told her the story and she have me her number again! Everything worked out for the best I guess, Thanks for the funny comments everyone!!!

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Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

#20795487
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45683) - you deserved it (7692)

On 07/21/2013 at 9:26am - love - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States

Carebeareatu's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here. I agreed to the Jesus as the best man but not the tux. No, I'm not going to dump him or call the wedding off because of his ideas, since it isn't just the woman's day but his too. It isn't too terrible to have have a little spunk at Our wedding ;P

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Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41693) - you deserved it (9020)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

accountnamevalid's comment about their FML

It was a Greyhound, and I'd been up for 2 days. He didn't say a word to me about it. After I was told by the lady behind me, I apologized profusely, and he said "it's alright. I figured you must really need the sleep." Super nice guy, but I wanted to die.

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Today, I woke up with a half-shaved head, thanks to the friends I let crash at my place last night. I have work in an hour and a half, and they hid my hair clippers. FML

#20793566
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36233) - you deserved it (4299)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:47am - work - by Eisenhorn (man) - United States

Eisenhorn's comment about their FML

Thanks for all the great replies, it is awesome to have one of my stories put up. My friends were kind enough to give me back my clippers before work, so I had enough time to get ready. To give a better image to everyone, my hair was about shoulder length and very curly. On the plus side, it is a lot cooler for me now than it previously was. We were able to have a good laugh about it, and I have payback to look forward to.

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Today, after being unemployed for almost two years, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from my bedroom window. FML

#20792051
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47979) - you deserved it (4222)

On 07/19/2013 at 8:31am - work - by yoshithecat - United Kingdom (Slough)

yoshithecat's comment about their FML

I don't live on a hill, the building where I would've been working is a bit tall as well which works into me being able to see it from my window. The building is all of a mile from my flat. No, lol it isn't the Shard!

I did express this to them and their response then was telling me they found someone more suited for the position. I have no clue why they didn't bother saying that in the first place though. A funny thought though, I put my postcode on my CV, so if they actually thought a little into the lie they fed me, maybe they'd have just stuck with the truth in the first place.

Thanks for all the positive feedback, sorry I wasn't more clear in the original post - expressing I was a mile away from the building. Hopefully I'll get a job soon! *crosses fingers*

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Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

#20791944
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58128) - you deserved it (2840)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by Kat_Styles - United States (Michigan)

Kat_Styles's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here.
So as a quick update, there are several things I want to add.
1. My dentist was 65, very healthy, and his passing was very unfortunate. But now he's with his wife, who passed away from breast cancer about three years ago.
2. It says 'Employee' at the top because my mother was one of his dental hygienists, and I had worked for him as a secretary for a few months before he died.
3. The dental hygienists in the office obviously started CPR right away. They even shocked him twice, but he wasn't responding to anything. Paramedics took him away in an ambulance, but nothing they did was successful. It's quite ironic because my dentist always used to joke that he required his hygienists to have lots of CPR training, etc, because he was the one who was going to need it. We always thought he was kidding, but unfortunately, that was exactly what happened.
4. For those of you saying 'she deserved it' or 'why didn't she start CPR,' or 'her breath killed him lol,' understand a few things. One, I don't see how I deserved it, but that's your opinion. Two, I'm 19, I don't know how to perform CPR, and within a minute, there were three certified, trained, professionals tending to him. Three, even if it was possible to kill someone with your breath, my mom is a dental hygienist. My teeth are quite nice, if I do say so myself.
Thanks for all your nice messages, and I hope you never have to experience something as terrible as I did.

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Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML

#20791518
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48298) - you deserved it (7825)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Misshhh - Canada (British Columbia)

Misshhh's comment about their FML

Hey guys! This is OP and let me tell you the whole story lol. This actually happened last year and usually I don't go out (social anxiety) my friends knew this, one of my best friends set me up with him and she said he was cool and "nice/trustworthy" I was hesitant to go because I didn't think it would go well.. I was right. We met up at the mall and hung out for a bit, talked, I was surprised I had a semi good time and saw him more as a friend. The only reason I asked if he could drive me home was because I didn't have any change for the bus and I was quite in a hurry to go home, he said sure and along the way he told me about some more of his interests and how he and his friends go "ghost hunting".. Of course I thought this was weird but I have a pretty open mind.. This is where he was getting creepy. He stopped at the pitch black road because apparently there was this tree where when girls stand beside this tree and a picture is taken, A man is seen standing next to her, he told me to get out of the car, he actually took my picture and then it seemed he had a phone call, he called me over to take my bag, and he drove off.. (Another car was behind him) thinking he would come back, I patiently waited, he never came back, I called this guy a bunch of times asking him what was going on and why he left me there.. All I got was his voicemail.. And then I got a text from his "friend" saying: "take a taxi home, we're at Burger King". I panicked and called the police, I broke down because of an anxiety attack, I had to walk a long dark path just to find a street where they could come find me, I explained my situation, I unfortunately didn't get his licence plate number. I guess the police felt a little bad for me and dropped me off home. I slept it off. When I got up the next morning he sent me a text with the following message: "hey! I had a great time last night! I sure did", I told him he was a psycho path and there was no way of a second date, he then responded with "awe I'm sorry baby.. Xoxoxoxo". Some people are truly messed up

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Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML

#20791311
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39697) - you deserved it (14797)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:27pm - work - by cyn1cal99 - United States (Kansas)

cyn1cal99's comment about their FML

Hey Guys. A lot of you have been asking why I mowed this neighbors lawn. Well, for one the person living there is an older person and while they probably could do it themselves, I don't think they should have to. My other reason for it, is that I mow the houses on the right, and left of it for pay. I find it more convenient to just mow all three of them across at once.

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Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

#20789996
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69467) - you deserved it (6842)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by coldstar (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

coldstar's comment about their FML

Just to clarify a few things: my two adult cats (the mother and the baby-eater) are sisters. I had planned to have them both spayed a few months ago but the baby-eater was very unwell at the time, so I decided to postpone the spaying for both of them so that I could eventually get them both done at the same time. By the time the unwell cat had recovered the other had already snuck out of the house and fallen pregnant, so I resigned myself to letting her have the kittens and then taking them both to be fixed. That's how this situation happened.

To those questioning whether I was aware of the potential danger, yes I was, but the mother cat is usually dominant to her sister and intimidates her a lot, so I assumed she'd chase her away if she tried to go near the newborns. Instead she seemed indifferent to the situation and simply stood by while her sister killed the litter. As for why I did not intervene, I was not in the room at the time. I entered the room and saw the cat had given birth, then exited the room to go and fetch her some extra food and water. When I returned I found the sister in the room with blood around her mouth, half a leg on the floor, and the mother sitting off to one side washing herself. As I stared at the scene in a mixture of surprise and revulsion, the killer began coughing violently then vomited. So that's how you came to read about this event.

As for those suggesting I should punish the killer in some way, I am not going to. She was just acting on instinct, like all non-human animals do.

And I think that's all I have to say for now. Sorry for the long comment.

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Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML

#20789561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38634) - you deserved it (5342)

On 07/18/2013 at 12:04am - misc - by james52 - United States (Texas)

james52's comment about their FML

Hey, I talked to him about it and he denied it and then said sorry. We've been together for four years (high school sweethearts). we've been fighting for a long while and we both think its time for a change. I still love him very much but think its time for someone to appreciate me.

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Today, the family I live with decided that beer is a more important purchase than the things we need, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towels should suffice. FML

#20788853
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (3122)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by alyssuhh526 (woman) - United States (Texas)

alyssuhh526's comment about their FML

I appreciate you guy's concerns, but really I am fine. I do live with a foster family and they are the sweetest. I'm not in danger or anything of that nature. They give me clean clothes and a comfy bed to sleep in, and three meals a day. I turn 16 in a few weeks so I'll be getting a job at a local grocery. And no they are not "rednecks," they are just great Mid Westerners. It was nothing worth getting anyone in trouble about. Again, thanks guys!

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