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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML

#20761629
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44205) - you deserved it (3782)

On 07/03/2013 at 1:21pm - kids - by amanderpthepanda (woman) - United States (Washington)

amanderpthepanda's comment about their FML

I created this account to respond to some of your comments.. My cousin is a boy, and it was a very awkward explanation. I just told him that it's a girl thing and that he'll learn about it when he's older. I don't think it affected him that much. Also, #7, I enjoyed your comment the most.

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Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

#20761596
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18996) - you deserved it (63591)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:54pm - misc - by emileeisamazing - United States (North Carolina)

emileeisamazing's comment about their FML

Love all the comments -- my family and I have very joking attitudes toward each other. I always call them "old names". They're not really old, none over 50 at least, and my siblings are both 10+ years older than me. (I'm sure you get the gist.) It was the "boring sh*t" they were offended by. Staring at a caged bear for half an hour isn't too much fun for me, but since then we did decide on zip lining now amongst other non-boring things. We did decide to keep the conversation named that if you were wondering :)

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Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

#20761148
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37103) - you deserved it (16437)

On 07/03/2013 at 2:56am - work - by strokesie - United States (Ohio)

strokesie's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here. After I said that, the interviewer busted out laughing- so there's a plus. She also said something along the lines of "Ya know, nobody says that sort of thing. Usually it's the boring 'I really need a job' type. But not you!" And laughed some more.
I really need this job though, I've applied everywhere and this place is the first to call me. I won't know if I got it or not until next week, so I'm crossing my fingers!

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Today, I got to explain to my co-worker again why I can't move my "vacation" so she can take hers when she wants. Apparently, in her mind, her seniority at the company trumps my due date. FML

#20759288
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45337) - you deserved it (2636)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:35am - work - by sulitak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

sulitak's comment about their FML

1. It did take work to get pregnant.
2. I put in for my leave as soon as I found out. It has been on the schedule for 5 months already.
3. She is the SAME position as me, not my superior. She has just held a position at the company for longer.

Though, even if it was a vacation for vacation thing, I would still have priority through our company's rules.
Seniority get priority to a point. Low man on the totem pole can request days off, then it gets put on the calendar, everyone above them has a month to "override" those days. If it stands for a month with no objections, low man gets their vacation.

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Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

#20757803
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51758) - you deserved it (3675)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:34am - money - by Chellybelly92 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Chellybelly92's comment about their FML

Wow this made it. That day was kinda bad for tips and that just topped it. But I made a good amount it's just probably gonna be a rough month with money but I'll make it. Thanks guys.

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Today, what started off as an amazing date with my girlfriend ended with me driving her drunk ass home while she sat in the backseat making out with her new boyfriend. FML

#20755943
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47674) - you deserved it (10001)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:34pm - love - by BimmerDriver (man) - United States (New York)

BimmerDriver's comment about their FML

Because I won't let anyone drive drunk, no matter who it is. And it's cheaper to drive them home as opposed to paying for a taxi.

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Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

#20755353
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50328) - you deserved it (3478)

On 06/30/2013 at 1:03am - love - by okeythen (woman) - United States (Florida)

okeythen's comment about their FML

Thanks for the advice everyone! But you know what was easier? Telling his arse to sleep in the damn car!

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Today, the stalker flatmate who has been obsessed with me since I first moved into the flat two years ago, graduated. Apparently he told everyone we are an item, because his parents and relatives were smiling and taking pictures of me from their seats two rows ahead of mine at the ceremony. FML

#20752058
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37255) - you deserved it (2682)

On 06/28/2013 at 6:28am - misc - by Trillian87 (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Trillian87's comment about their FML

This little story actually happened a little while ago, I had to use the "Today" form because of the page's standard, but at least I can tell you how it ends.
I moved into the flat when I was barely 19, while the flatmate-stalker (also nicknamed The 28 Years Old Virgin) was seven years older than me. He started to be obsessed with me after we went to the cinema together (the other two flatmates were supposed to come with us but they didn't), and he got convinced we were on a date. I didn't move out because at the time I was quite naive and I was getting together well with everyone else, plus the flat was really close to my uni and relatively cheap, and I thought that he was about to graduate anyway.
His parents, for the records, are creepier than him: his dad came to visit once and my roommate caught him opening our wardrobe and going through our clothes, about a month before this episode.
After graduation he had to move out because his mum wasn't willing to pay for the rent anymore and found him a job (he wanted to stay a bit longer but fortunately didn't happen), and came to visit unannounced a few times.
About one year after he sent me a text out of nowhere (I didn't speak with him for months) saying that it was over and he was sorry if he did something to make me want to break up with him, so I guess that at that point after imagining us dating and getting together I probably left him.

I hear he's doing fine and got his first girlfriend.

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Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

#20751977
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21208) - you deserved it (48552)

On 06/28/2013 at 4:17am - work - by LaLince (man) - Switzerland (Aargau)

LaLince's comment about their FML

Hi folks, OP here.
He took the hint..
If there will be a next time, I'll use my cell phone.

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Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML

#20751222
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39093) - you deserved it (9398)

On 06/27/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Auroraen (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Auroraen's comment about their FML

OP here. Wow. Thanks for all the nice words, guys. My "puppy" is a 120lb, 9 month old Great Dane. Her name is Lily, and she is worse than Marmaduke and Marly put together. She is a total troublemaker.
I had made zucchini bread, beef stew, a bunch of sides, as well as a cake. All of it was from scratch. I had actually put one of those baby gates across the entry-way to the kitchen, and she ended up knocking it over.
Next time, I think she's going in the cage while I take a shower. And btw, I did just order a pizza. Everyone had a good laugh at me. And yes, she's practically impossible to stay mad at.

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Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48704) - you deserved it (4604)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

EpicJman2828's comment about their FML

OP here. Im so shocked I got posted. Just like to say my cousin was gone when it exploded and I was stung about 9 times. Overall it was very exciting being able to go outside and know something wanted your freaking soul. Those suckers will Hunt you down and rape your body with their asses

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Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

#20748504
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46063) - you deserved it (4170)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:12pm - kids - by LyraAlluse (woman) - United States (Arizona)

LyraAlluse's comment about their FML

Hello everyone, OP here. I have enjoyed reading the comments, they are all very amusing and gave me a good laugh. In response to the Karate Kid comment, I actually practice Tai Chi, Qigong, Sword Fighting, and other martial arts/ weapon combat styles. Sometimes I do feel like the Karate Kid, especially with this latest development in my life. Because of my martial arts training I believe in self-defense and since all the kid hurled at me were threats, I am not too concerned. I don't think he believed I was above the age of thirteen until I drove in my car today and then you should have seen his expression. It was very amusing. I tend to look very young for my age (hey I'm not complaining) so people tend to think I am in my very early teens all of the time. I was even denied access to a lot of the casinos at Cliff Castle not too long ago because I looked too young to be on the casino floors. At the end of the day I had to wear a stamp that confirmed my age to even be allowed on the casino floors so in some sense I can understand why people mistake me for being so young. In response to the question about living at home, I happen to be a working professional, those years are behind me now. But there are definitely days when I wish that I was still as young as people like to think I am. If I happen to see the kid's parents I'll let them know about his behavior so he doesn't treat the other neighborhood kids the same way. Thank you for the support in all of this. No one should be bullied no matter what age they happen to be. I hope this will inspire other people to stop bullying in their schools and neighborhoods too.

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Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

#20748364
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43301) - you deserved it (6967)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by vbecka - Norway (Oslo)

vbecka's comment about their FML

Hi! OP here! :)
first off all: wow! I never expected this to make it to the FMLpage!

Don't worry, people. I posted this because it was funny. I was very, very embarrassed when I walked out to the living room and saw everybody and realized that I hadn't been alone after all(my parents came home from their trip to our cabin with their friends a day earlier than they had planned.) But I laughed at it after I realized how funny it was.
And it's extra funny that you guys automatically assumed that I'm a guy! I'm actually a girl. haha! Which is why I felt so embarrassed, since I've never met those particularly friends of my parents. Great first impression, don't you think? lol. but they smiled and joked around, trying to make me feel less embarrassed, so it's all good!

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