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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

#20880509
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48427) - you deserved it (6895)

On 09/14/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by Stripes_And_Dots (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Stripes_And_Dots's comment about their FML

Firstly, I'm not insane or anything. I have chronic depression and very negative self-esteem. I was talking to her over facebook, so she didn't see me have a flip out. I actually have quite a few friends, but since finishing high school last year everyone is so busy working or at university that we rarely have any time to hang out. I had three friends in high school who I was especially close to and two of them pretty much shut me off. For about a year now every time I've asked them to hang out they've said no, one of the blatantly lies about being busy or tired because she just can't be bothered. The other one, the one I asked, has moved out of home and has been struggling to pay rent and bills, so she's been working lots. I'm so used to hearing them say no, that when she said yes it shocked me and I didn't know how to react - hence triggering the panic attack. Once I'd calmed down I was excited and we're going to have lunch on Monday :)

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Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

#20880481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37063) - you deserved it (2761)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:51am - health - by Norvi (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Norvi's comment about their FML

OP here, to quote a song from Johnny Clegg "these are the days of miracles and wonders" - my mom called a plumber, now to survive the weekend until help arrives.

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Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42539) - you deserved it (3166)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Carebeareatu's comment about their FML

op here. I don't know why they did. I dont want to know why they did.

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Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

#20879710
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53081) - you deserved it (3202)

On 09/13/2013 at 3:02pm - love - by Amsterdamned13 - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Amsterdamned13's comment about their FML

To everyone: she told me in a funny way after seeing the phone. He is an EX now, and for now most deff no contact with her. Thanks for kind and also unkind words. Gr from Amsterdam

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Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

#20879472
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42512) - you deserved it (7763)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:49am - money - by Kaka_Karrot_Kake - United States (Texas)

Kaka_Karrot_Kake's comment about their FML

Ok to clear things up, I was walking home and he asked for money. He looked, and even SMELLED like a homeless person. Sure enough, I gave him money and all of a sudden he got up and started walking and I saw him take out an iPhone 5 and call his friend. I heard him say, "Lol dude it worked!" Sorry I wrote so much ._. And no he was NOT really homeless

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Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

#20878116
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52450) - you deserved it (3651)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:47am - misc - by baxeh - Sweden (Skane Lan)

baxeh's comment about their FML

Well, it's not the most dashing sweater, and i know it's an easy mistake to make. No point in getting upset over nothing really. Just felt like the moment belonged on this site, i'm glad the FML got posted, and thank you for all your comments!

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Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56325) - you deserved it (3252)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Iskylite's comment about their FML

the doctor said it could've lived inside me for 30 years. I'm glad they got it out :) and yes I'm feeling much better :)

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Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

#20874135
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34368) - you deserved it (3481)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:30am - animals - by StefanKa - Poland (Mazowieckie)

StefanKa's comment about their FML

OP here, I know that and I let them out all the time but I just didnt expect to find shit between the wall and the cage, where none of them can enter.

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Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

#20872474
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50981) - you deserved it (3815)

On 09/08/2013 at 1:56am - misc - by vrossie_ - United States

vrossie_'s comment about their FML

Yea it was clever. I shared it to my Biology class and they all laughed.

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Today, I was prank called yet again by someone asking for a game that was released over 10 years ago. The store I work at only sells modern titles, and I angrily slammed the phone down. My boss saw and fired me on the spot. FML

#20872359
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25599) - you deserved it (34869)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:22am - work - by rashpimplezitz - United States (California)

rashpimplezitz's comment about their FML

Hi everyone, OP here.

The game they were asking for, was, yes, Battletoads. Just another prank call. Many of you assume that the guy on the other end could have called me legitimately asking for the game, but really, it was the same person each and every time. They were just trying to be a jerk. Hell, you could hear their friends laughing in the background of the call.

Yes, I understand that it isn't right to behave like this in the workplace, but I was a bit stressed out (girlfriend breaking up with me, etc.) and I didn't really feel great that day. After some explaining to the boss about the whole Battletoads prank call phenomenon, I was rehired and just took a 3 day suspension. I promise you all that I will not behave in such a way ever again, and thank you all for your wonderful comments.

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Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

#20870052
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44863) - you deserved it (3043)

On 09/06/2013 at 10:12am - work - by tdawgg - Canada (Alberta)

tdawgg's comment about their FML

We sell electrical wire by the foot, she may have a more handy family member at home that need it, but she did come back an hour later and got 50 feet... I think her computers in the middle of her backyard. :P. sad thing is, we deal with these kinds of requests ever day... Retail sucks!!

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Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

#20867980
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39284) - you deserved it (7591)

On 09/04/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by Python22 (man) - United States (Texas)

Python22's comment about their FML

OP here, for update 1 of a few. Basically, like #52 said, I believe that is the case. It's not so bad I can't go out in public (and for fat people they aren't big at all), but if they were on a average chicks body, they would be massive. As for my trunk, yeah.... I'm 5'-10, so it evens out.

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Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

#20867208
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48834) - you deserved it (3825)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Palindromesque - United States (Washington)

Palindromesque's comment about their FML

Hi all, OP here! I'm crying with laughter-you all are hilarious, seriously!

To respond to some questions-I discovered my roommate's predilection for silverware and kitchen implements when I poked my head into her room to tell her something and saw an open drawer with a good collection of my utensils. She was actually quite forthcoming, and explained in jaw-dropping detail some uses for a number of them.

We've agreed that she can go ahead and keep what she's "used," and that she'll replace the implements now and in future...no cross contamination, she promises.

Overall, I'm glad she's sensually creative, so I don't feel the need to resort to hot sauce or splinters! I just fear for the next time she's browsing in the kitchen-I may not be able to scramble eggs for breakfast.

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