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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML

#20791518
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48267) - you deserved it (7819)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Misshhh - Canada (British Columbia)

Misshhh's comment about their FML

Hey guys! This is OP and let me tell you the whole story lol. This actually happened last year and usually I don't go out (social anxiety) my friends knew this, one of my best friends set me up with him and she said he was cool and "nice/trustworthy" I was hesitant to go because I didn't think it would go well.. I was right. We met up at the mall and hung out for a bit, talked, I was surprised I had a semi good time and saw him more as a friend. The only reason I asked if he could drive me home was because I didn't have any change for the bus and I was quite in a hurry to go home, he said sure and along the way he told me about some more of his interests and how he and his friends go "ghost hunting".. Of course I thought this was weird but I have a pretty open mind.. This is where he was getting creepy. He stopped at the pitch black road because apparently there was this tree where when girls stand beside this tree and a picture is taken, A man is seen standing next to her, he told me to get out of the car, he actually took my picture and then it seemed he had a phone call, he called me over to take my bag, and he drove off.. (Another car was behind him) thinking he would come back, I patiently waited, he never came back, I called this guy a bunch of times asking him what was going on and why he left me there.. All I got was his voicemail.. And then I got a text from his "friend" saying: "take a taxi home, we're at Burger King". I panicked and called the police, I broke down because of an anxiety attack, I had to walk a long dark path just to find a street where they could come find me, I explained my situation, I unfortunately didn't get his licence plate number. I guess the police felt a little bad for me and dropped me off home. I slept it off. When I got up the next morning he sent me a text with the following message: "hey! I had a great time last night! I sure did", I told him he was a psycho path and there was no way of a second date, he then responded with "awe I'm sorry baby.. Xoxoxoxo". Some people are truly messed up

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Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML

#20791311
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39662) - you deserved it (14792)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:27pm - work - by cyn1cal99 - United States (Kansas)

cyn1cal99's comment about their FML

Hey Guys. A lot of you have been asking why I mowed this neighbors lawn. Well, for one the person living there is an older person and while they probably could do it themselves, I don't think they should have to. My other reason for it, is that I mow the houses on the right, and left of it for pay. I find it more convenient to just mow all three of them across at once.

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Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

#20789996
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69406) - you deserved it (6831)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by coldstar (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

coldstar's comment about their FML

Just to clarify a few things: my two adult cats (the mother and the baby-eater) are sisters. I had planned to have them both spayed a few months ago but the baby-eater was very unwell at the time, so I decided to postpone the spaying for both of them so that I could eventually get them both done at the same time. By the time the unwell cat had recovered the other had already snuck out of the house and fallen pregnant, so I resigned myself to letting her have the kittens and then taking them both to be fixed. That's how this situation happened.

To those questioning whether I was aware of the potential danger, yes I was, but the mother cat is usually dominant to her sister and intimidates her a lot, so I assumed she'd chase her away if she tried to go near the newborns. Instead she seemed indifferent to the situation and simply stood by while her sister killed the litter. As for why I did not intervene, I was not in the room at the time. I entered the room and saw the cat had given birth, then exited the room to go and fetch her some extra food and water. When I returned I found the sister in the room with blood around her mouth, half a leg on the floor, and the mother sitting off to one side washing herself. As I stared at the scene in a mixture of surprise and revulsion, the killer began coughing violently then vomited. So that's how you came to read about this event.

As for those suggesting I should punish the killer in some way, I am not going to. She was just acting on instinct, like all non-human animals do.

And I think that's all I have to say for now. Sorry for the long comment.

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Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML

#20789561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38603) - you deserved it (5341)

On 07/18/2013 at 12:04am - misc - by james52 - United States (Texas)

james52's comment about their FML

Hey, I talked to him about it and he denied it and then said sorry. We've been together for four years (high school sweethearts). we've been fighting for a long while and we both think its time for a change. I still love him very much but think its time for someone to appreciate me.

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Today, the family I live with decided that beer is a more important purchase than the things we need, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towels should suffice. FML

#20788853
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35524) - you deserved it (3121)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by alyssuhh526 (woman) - United States (Texas)

alyssuhh526's comment about their FML

I appreciate you guy's concerns, but really I am fine. I do live with a foster family and they are the sweetest. I'm not in danger or anything of that nature. They give me clean clothes and a comfy bed to sleep in, and three meals a day. I turn 16 in a few weeks so I'll be getting a job at a local grocery. And no they are not "rednecks," they are just great Mid Westerners. It was nothing worth getting anyone in trouble about. Again, thanks guys!

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Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

#20786314
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44807) - you deserved it (2675)

On 07/16/2013 at 1:25pm - health - by Orchard (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Orchard's comment about their FML

Hi, this is the OP. I told them in triage with tears streaming down my face that I thought it was a kidney stone. I was in so much pain I could barely fill out the forms. There were only a couple of possibilities as to the source of pain to begin with since the pain was all down my left flank and upper left quadrant. I have medical training so I wasn't too shocked to find out it was a kidney stone. What was shocking was they thought I was faking to get a drug fix, put me on the back burner, then acted like it was somehow my fault for not being seen sooner so they could help manage the pain.

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Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

#20786208
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40449) - you deserved it (2450)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by ScenicSubterfuge - United States (Texas)

ScenicSubterfuge's comment about their FML

OP here, that thought hasn't even crossed my mind! That's scary! Haha, she's fine now, but we're already considering moving her to an old folks home -- she's in her late 70s -- so that'll be the next move!

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Today, I'm expected to buy a bassinet and/or a stroller/car-seat for my nephew because my brother trusted the pullout method for contraception. FML

#20785515
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35886) - you deserved it (3643)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:20am - kids - by Zebediabolical (man) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Zebediabolical's comment about their FML

OP here, let me shed a little more light on this situation.

I came into a little money last year as a settlement from a car accident three years before. I've been dodging 'can you loan me' calls from friends and family ever since. I guess this is the one time they think they've got me cornered and can make withdrawals from the Bank of Zebediabolical.

I have no problem with helping out with baby stuff. I'd intended to buy them a truckload of diapers in varying sizes and other stuff like that. But apparently there is a gift registry and most of the other items have been purchased already, leaving me with the bassinet or carseat that attaches to a stroller thingy.

I'd be fine with that too, if they hadn't picked out ones with all the bells and whistles. Rugged and offroad capable, Wifi, dual cupholders, iPod docks, phone rechargers, Bluetooth, climate control, spinnaz on the wheels, etc. Yes, I'm exaggerating but not by much. I told them I'd get them functional gear but not flashy stuff like that.

Apparently that makes me a bad person, and I got a bunch of familial pressure to buy them blinged out baby stuff. I don't like to feel obligated and I've got principles about stuff like that.

Today was the coed shower thing, and they didn't get bling. They got a functional and relatively cheap and well-rated stroller (according to Consumer Reports) and one of those cross-body slings that I see a lot of women at the Farmer's Market carrying their baby's about in. And a fuckton of vouchers for diapers.

They tried to make me feel bad about what I got them, so I left and went out with some friends.

That's my story. Thanks for your support, guys and gals.

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Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

#20784199
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39488) - you deserved it (2968)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:15pm - work - by thatkid00117 - United States (New Jersey)

thatkid00117's comment about their FML

Hey guys, it was a pretty rough day so I wasn't surprised at least one person encountered trouble, and he didn't speak a word whilst he was gripped tightly to the flotation device. Once on shore I asked him if he was alright and instructed him how not to get caught in another rip current. He promptly to me to "f off" and that he didn't need help. At that point his girlfriend ran up to ask if he was hurt, and everything went downhill from there. I appreciate the sympathy, but it would be a little irresponsible of me to let the man die :)

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Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

#20783913
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49627) - you deserved it (25124)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:19am - intimacy - by lilly1105 (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

lilly1105's comment about their FML

Y'all made me laugh and rethink my porn watching, thanks!

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Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

#20783802
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44879) - you deserved it (6874)

On 07/15/2013 at 6:30am - love - by disataerkatie (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

disataerkatie's comment about their FML

I wish I had longer arms. Possibly the best part is that he is an entire foot taller than I am...

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Today, I went to the pool. As I started going up the steps to use the water slide, a kid no older than 10 yanked my swim trunks down to "see what's down there." FML

#20781379
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41316) - you deserved it (3033)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by Blizzards (man) - United States (Maryland)

Blizzards's comment about their FML

OP here, he was behind me the whole time (he blamed it on his sister). Thankfully, he only pulled it down enough to expose my butt. I pulled my trunks up, but I didn't say anything and just acted as if he wasn't there.

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Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML

#20773432
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43746) - you deserved it (3858)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:01am - love - by cristy91 - United States (Florida)

cristy91's comment about their FML

Okay, to answer a few questions: yes, the flavors were the same. Yes, my parents knew I'd be baking two cakes. The reason they ate from each is that my grandma put the "family" cake in the fridge without telling anyone, so they assumed the remaining cake was for them (grandma is a little forgetful). No, I can't combine them, I used "half" but it's half for one and a bit more than 1/3 from the other. No, not putting laxatives, I love baking and they bought me more ingredients to use.

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