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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51709) - you deserved it (4907)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm - kids - by TCRII - United States (Virginia)

TCRII's comment about their FML

He has been in summer camp the last couple of weeks. His group did an obstacle course through the woods and they had to get everyone over a 6 foot high wooden wall. Pretty sure he got it from that. No signs of infection.

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Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26107) - you deserved it (43128)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:04pm - animals - by AylaMarie92 - Canada (British Columbia)

AylaMarie92's comment about their FML

OP here. I definitely threw away the toothbrush after this, and brushed my teeth with a brand new, mouse-free toothbrush for about 2 hours straight, and listerine listerine listerine o.o I keep my old toothbrushes around for such occasions when there's a hard to reach, disgusting mess to deal with such as this one XD Thanks for all your comments, I've had my tetanus shot lmao, still going to get checked out by a doctor ASAP

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Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54303) - you deserved it (6964)

On 07/21/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by Pandamomma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Pandamomma's comment about their FML

hi. OP here. I said FML because I ended up having to apologize and act as if I was sincere. I failed miserably and ended up laughing hysterically. I did feel a little bad.

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Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38709) - you deserved it (7331)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:30am - animals - by murrrrf - United States (Missouri)

murrrrf's comment about their FML

OP Captain is pushing 25 lbs. he's a big cat. And is very violent when he's scared. Also he likes to hide in odd places. So the recling couch is his favorite fort. The rest of you, I'm
Not explaining shit. I

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Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23685) - you deserved it (45109)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:22pm - misc - by 2013bchan41 (man) - United States (New York)

2013bchan41's comment about their FML

Hey guys, this is the OP here, and this is actually my first FML ever :3

This actually happened to me back in September, I was on the highway on my way to school. What happened was the traffic was so bumper-to-bumper, due to a bigger accident ahead. I had my foot on the brake, so the car was stopped at the time (I wasn't driving while looking.) That's when I decided to look around and saw a lady with her eyes shut in the car next to me. I guess my foot slipped off the brake ever so slightly, because next thing I heard was a thump (the cars were so close together it happened in an instant.) Luckily we were able to pull over, and the lady didn't seem too angry at me. Neither of our bumpers were damaged too much, so I just called my dad and had her speak with him. In the end, I just paid them $600 instead of going to insurance, and my car (luckily) didn't suffer too much damage. Yes, I know it was my fault, and I've learned from my mistake, so now, even in heavy traffic, eyes on the road only!

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Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35395) - you deserved it (16434)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

LissaMccracken's comment about their FML

Wow! I must really deserve this! Haha well to clear this up, this restroom was one that had more than one stall. There were plenty of other toilets, she was just upset that the one she wanted was taken. But thanks to all the people saying really nice things!!! It means a lot!

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Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40989) - you deserved it (9087)

On 07/17/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by lolateverything - United States (New Jersey)

lolateverything's comment about their FML

Hahaha I'm the OP. The comments are hilarious! :)

The post office mailbox and the library book drop aren't right next to each other. They are near each other, but far away enough to easily distinguish which one is which. One is blue and the other is grey, so my mistake is even more
pathetic LOL.

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Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (8831)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:02am - misc - by Sheh (woman) - Sweden

Sheh's comment about their FML

The bag of rice didn't have any handle, so I held it kinda resting against my torso, just like when holding my cat.
I guess it has just become a habit.

Loving all the puns :)

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Today, I went to fill out my time sheet. Someone had edited it, and now it suddenly ends August 22nd. I think I'm getting fired. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39754) - you deserved it (3692)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:26am - work - by smpenn89 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

smpenn89's comment about their FML

OP Here! As of last week, my time sheet( a simple excel sheet) listed all the dates through the end of the year. Now it does not. Yes, I understand that it is still over a month away, but since my current project is a procedure list of everything I do, how I do it, and passwords of everything, I am guessing they need me to finish this first. I am not confrontational, and understand I need to speak to my bosses, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet. I went looking on craigslist for job postings-found one Identical to the job I currently hold...and since I was hired through craigslist...yeah that about sums it up. Actively looking for a new job- if they cant be professional enough to fire me the right way, they don't deserve to have me anyway.

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Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (4938)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Hiimhaileypotter's comment about their FML

#12- They stay in the kitchen when I'm gone (I was at work), and the FML is really that I forgot thunderstorms were in the forecast. I was supposed to have turned on the stove fan to help mask the sound, but I forgot. :( Lol. It's not really a huge deal. Just a minor inconvenience!

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Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39989) - you deserved it (15504)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:59pm - health - by cyzn - Canada (Quebec)

cyzn's comment about their FML

Hey everyone,
Your comments made me laugh! So here we go, when I was backing up I think he was more concentrated in what I was doing and not really looking at what was behind me (which he should of but anyways) when I hit my head he obviously started laughing and he grabbed me towards him and kissed my head (while continuing to laugh) Hes a sweet guy, I have a tendency of walking into walls or backing up into brick walls lol. My head was totally fine just a little headache afterwards. For in the future always check your surroundings aha.

As for the whisper app, I posted that post about this fml with the grey brick wall background, just making sure, Everything is a secret on that app so i had no other way to show/prove that it was me, but anyways its not the end of the world.

Thank you everyone who was concerned and made me laugh!

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Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38856) - you deserved it (11073)

On 07/14/2014 at 9:38am - misc - by akaka (woman) - United States (Ohio)

akaka's comment about their FML

Hi, I am the OP. Check my profile to see that it is confirmed. Anyways I am not attached right now, he was 15 and I am 18. I didn't like the age difference. Anyways he did turn around and wink at me. Then walked away. You don't have to believe me but here is the truth.

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Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44179) - you deserved it (3208)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:22pm - misc - by BrewPack (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

BrewPack's comment about their FML

I'm happy to say that we DID sell the house to that couple. Closing is early next month and the heroin selling attempt was in fact, a prank, that got that asshole kid almost a week in a jail cell. I'm assuming there was also a fine, but I don't know all of the details. My neighbors are great people, their son not withstanding and we live in a rather quiet Milwaukee suburb.

I guess what disturbs me more now is that my wife and I have had that kid babysit for us numerous times.

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