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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33252) - you deserved it (8133)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

unsuspectingmom's comment about their FML

Baby was 3 weeks before term, but is doing fine. Sophia Grace, 7 lbs 2 oz

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Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend when I began dozing off. I was then awoken by an explosive fart. It was me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31354) - you deserved it (5321)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:05am - misc - by Halcyon_Sancta - United States (Nevada)

Halcyon_Sancta's comment about their FML

Hi, op here.
Just so you guys know, the fart didn't kill my boyfriend. And now we fart around each other all the time. It's hilarious.
Also- I know heteronormativity is a thing, but we're both men.

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Today, my dad was looking for a flashlight in my bedroom. He trashed the place, which I'd just cleaned. Turns out the flashlight was in his bedroom. Then I got a 10 minute lecture on how I was such a slob and I should take more care of my bedroom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32388) - you deserved it (2284)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by moonchic - United States (New York)

moonchic's comment about their FML

Sorry for commenting so late) I completely forgot about this post and then I remembered.

Anyway, thank you for all of your support, I didn't think this would get published! Yes what my father did wasn't a very smart move but I tried to convince and prove to him that he was the one that trashed my room in the first place. Eventually after an hour of dispute, he realized what he did (after me having to tell him repeatedly) and he apologized.

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Today, my boss told me that as funny as it is, it is inappropriate to mock customers with my "fake" Scottish accent. I don't, he refuses to believe that I speak with a Scottish accent. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33678) - you deserved it (2333)

On 01/15/2015 at 9:38pm - work - by hegchog12 (man) - United Kingdom

hegchog12's comment about their FML

What makes this FML worse is that I still live and work in Scotland. I brought it up with my boss, turns out he thinks it's "disrespectful" to put on my "fake" accent after the referendum. I really must look for a another job. I don't want to offend anyone but Im one of the few people in the Scottish highlands that don't speak the "queens English".

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Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36304) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/15/2015 at 5:24pm - kids - by Northshore75 (man) - United States (California)

Northshore75's comment about their FML

I'm the guy that submitted this FML. I didn't think this topic would gain so much traction but I don't feel so alone and I do appreciate reading your comments good or bad. Yes, my parents are "racist assholes". Both of them immigrated into the U.S. in their teens. Currently in their 60's/70s respectively, I cannot fathom why they continue to harbor such hate but here is the kicker. I'm not pure Chinese. I'm part Chinese and Japanese. The Japanese is from my mother's side. My father rants about how much he hates the Japanese. Further, my grandfather was a medic for the Army in WW2 so that adds more fuel to the fire. So how in the hell did he get around to marrying my mother? Of course my father has no answer for that. The racism is only scratching the surface. It's the Asian tiger parents sort of mentality of romanticizing and demanding perfection from their offspring. Check out Amy Chua's book if you don't believe me. All I can do is press on in life and not repeat the same mistakes my parents made because I don't want my own son labeling me "asshole".

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Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38558) - you deserved it (2746)

On 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm - love - by RipeFlame - United States (Florida)

RipeFlame's comment about their FML

Hey guys. Thanks for the support! I did file a restraining order and we are waiting to see what the outcome is. I said she is absolutely obsessive and she won't leave me alone.

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Today, I found myself wondering if my sister's jaw makes the same clicking sound when she's giving head as it does when she's eating food. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25771) - you deserved it (8572)

On 01/13/2015 at 3:23am - misc - by Goth_Hawk - United States (California)

Goth_Hawk's comment about their FML

I'm OP, she does have a jaw issue, and the doctors have said they would have to break her jaw to fix it. I thought about it because it was 3am and the thought of her chewing came to mind as I was reading some of the dirtier submissions on FML. It was so jarring that I had to post it.

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Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37283) - you deserved it (9834)

On 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by con135 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

con135's comment about their FML

Needless to say she still makes fun of me for this, when she asks me for something she will say something like,"can you firmly grasp that soda and hand it to me?"

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Today, I had to go back to the restaurant I had just eaten at and beg for my tip back so I could afford my bus home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31922) - you deserved it (11108)

On 01/10/2015 at 11:35am - money - by bensim64 - United Kingdom (Coventry)

bensim64's comment about their FML

Hi, as the author I just wanted to clear this up. I'm not cold or heartless, but I forgot my Oyster card (what you need to get a bus home in England) and had given my last bit of change for the tip! I was hugely embarrassed as I always tip (although not mandatory in Britain as in America; mostly because American staff are for more helpful and nice). However, as I do go there fairly often, I will obviously tip more next time!

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Today, three weeks after my sister took in a wounded porcupine from our backyard and let it roam about the house, I learned that it sheds quills from time to time. How did I learn this? By stepping on three of said quills hidden in the carpet. I still have only managed to pull one out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32156) - you deserved it (2645)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:00am - animals - by dylerbiller - United States

dylerbiller's comment about their FML

Hi everyone. OP here. Hopefully I can clear things up for some people. The reason we didn't take "porky" to the animal shelter right away was because the closest one was a three hour drive away. He is there now safe and sound and I went to the doctors and got the other two quills removed. I actually posted this FML while in the Urgent Care waiting room for those of you who were wondering why I would go on here right after all this happening. Well, that's about it. My foot is a bit sore and I have vacuumed the floor 7 times just to be safe. But I'm alright. Thanks for all the support!

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Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (4231)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:33am - misc - by sayhey22 - United States (New Hampshire)

sayhey22's comment about their FML

It almost sounds like a broken fire alarm. It's a sketchy sound haha.
I've progressed to just jumping when it happens

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Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23500) - you deserved it (39892)

On 01/08/2015 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by EvilBubbles (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

EvilBubbles's comment about their FML

Lol guys! This is my post and the anal sex argument was on and off all day. My laptop did an automatic audio test without my permission haha the whole class laughed about it today, all good.

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Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41397) - you deserved it (2511)

On 01/08/2015 at 10:56am - love - by exuberant_orange (woman) - United States (Florida)

exuberant_orange's comment about their FML

Hey OP here, it's awesome this got posted! Follow up for some people with questions:
This girl came to my school while I was out on sick leave, so being she was in the same class as the BF and I; she got to know him before I came back. He told her he was taken but apparently since I wasn't actually there this didn't phase her. The boyfriend is rather creeped by this girl's psycho tendencies, and has tried to avoid her the entire time I was gone, when I came back we figured she would see us together and drop the crush. This backfired apparently. XD Anyhow my boyfriend and I found her and talked to her later and tried to calmly explain that we were together. She was quiet long enough for us to finish. She mostly seemed really embarrassed and actually apologized! Hopefully she'll stop sending me poisonous looks now. :p But all is (for the most part) well now. Thanks everyone!

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