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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33052) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/05/2014 at 6:42pm - health - by ArmyIT (man) - Korea, Republic of

ArmyIT's comment about their FML

It's not like it's something I just decided was a symtom. It was my psychiatrists opinion/word that it was. They now want me to do further testing. its just disheartening to know that I could lose my job over this.

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Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35122) - you deserved it (3521)

On 11/05/2014 at 10:58am - animals - by misfitunfit - United States

misfitunfit's comment about their FML

He's usually such a sweet cat! I have no idea if I scared him or what :/ Still hurts!

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Today, my sweet tooth went to a whole different level when I took a swig out of a bottle of maple syrup. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (11589)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:48am - misc - by TonyTalkingClock (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

TonyTalkingClock's comment about their FML

OP here. First off, I would like to thank you all for not only putting my FML on here, but also giving me all this feedback! I felt like I would answer some questions.

2 - Note to self: Will try.

8, and several others - I actually do have some French Canadian heritage, but I was born and raised here in the North Shore of Massachusetts.

36 - It's real maple.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone! If you're wondering, it tasted like maple syrup.

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Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33539) - you deserved it (4784)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:32pm - misc - by Isa_Marie0113 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Isa_Marie0113's comment about their FML

Hey guys! I wrote that FML. Yep, wasn't one of my best moments, but it's something we can laugh at now especially since he's usually the one that's gassy! Thanks for reading it and I hope you all had a good laugh too! (I would just like to add that I'm about to click "Spill the beans!" and I'm dying over the irony.)

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Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36125) - you deserved it (4544)

On 11/02/2014 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by boobear511 - United States (California)

boobear511's comment about their FML

The cat was outside the door, wanting to get in.

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Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37474) - you deserved it (2640)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:58pm - misc - by thealaskanyoung - United States (Indiana)

thealaskanyoung's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here. Let me get this straight: my mother is not abusive. She just has a sense of humor! The lady who called was just taken aback for a second before my mom clarified. She's just a character, in no way abusive. Y'all are ridiculous.

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Today, my friend drove up a parking lot and I unbuckled my seatbelt as soon as we were parked. He then suddenly saw a better spot right in front and moved his car. When I got out, a police officer approached me, saying I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. I was fined for that. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (4789)

On 10/27/2014 at 4:04am - misc - by TinyBouvier (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

TinyBouvier's comment about their FML

My friend parked between two other cars and as I was about to get out of the car, he said, "hold on, I'm gonna move to that spot", since he noticed the parking spot in front of him had more room. So he slowly drove forward for a few meters and then we were parked again. It was such a small distance and at such low speed that I didn't bother to buckle up again.
Unfortunately for me, the police officer who saw me in those five seconds where I wasn't wearing the seatbelt, didn't believe me when I tried to explain that I had just unbuckled my seatbelt moments before we moved to that parking spot. He was firmly convinced that I wasn't wearing my seatbelt the whole time and gave me a fine of 110€... That's roughly 139$.
I fear I won't be able to fight this ticket. After a quick search on Google, I found out that in Belgium the parking lot of a store is also considered a "public road". Ridiculous.

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Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28043) - you deserved it (12222)

On 10/24/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by RyoKioKio (woman) - United States (Washington)

RyoKioKio's comment about their FML

First off, you guys have genuinely made me laugh, even the less than kind comments have been hilarious. To clarify: the tube of icing in question was snagged from a discount bin because the decorating tip was broken, and an improvised opening with a knife was required. I didn't gouge a hole in it because I was spelling something out and I didn't feel like getting icing everywhere. In regards to my weight, I'm honestly not that athletic, I am a bit on the plush side, and yes, I do need to work out more (I go on daily walks around the neighborhood with my dog as a start). Baby steps, right?

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Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30873) - you deserved it (9947)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:30pm - love - by Sansa (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Sansa's comment about their FML

OP here. Just wanted to make clear that I wasn't drunk and he wasn't either. I still like this guy. Every time I see him I'm falling in love again. Point is that I'm really affraid this wil not work out (I hope it does, but still) And i'm not the type of girl who has sex with anyone this easy, so I'm really confused what to do with it. I guess I'll find out.

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Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25681) - you deserved it (27272)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:42am - misc - by wthiswrongwithmi (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

wthiswrongwithmi's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, I am the OP.

To answer your questions, I am a student in a ~50 person lecture. My professor was compiling a huge list of examples of bad tv on the board from students, and I threw up a few notoriously bad TV shows (like Keeping Up with the Kardashians). I vaguely remember seeing something on TV about GGW (a reference in another show). In the clip, a lot of girls partying and one of them flashed the cameras, but it was definitely blurred out. I thought it was just a risqué reality show with partying/clubbing, fighting, and a bit of blurred out nudity (like the Jersey Shore).

Yes, I did get made fun of (the jerk behind me said, "I'm pretty sure that's a movie" in a snarky tone, and some people were like "…whaaaaaat?"). I kinda just looked around and was like, "isn't that a reality TV show?" A few people giggled, and the professor just blinked and moved onto the next person. Normally I don't talk about stuff I know nothing about, but participation is a significant portion of my grade, so I always try to participate any chance I get.

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Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (5962)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

HeckIfIKnow's comment about their FML

So I never figured it out (although I'm pretty sure it wasn't the God of Farts) but the computer was really old anyway, so I'm just gonna borrow my mom's / use the one allotted to me at work until I can afford a new one. Thanks for the suggestions!

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Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32873) - you deserved it (4873)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - health - by yus - United States (California)

yus's comment about their FML

Hey, author here! So basically, I'm in high school and the school I go to does drug tests to all of the students and it is completely random. Some people are tested multiple times, other people are never tested. It is basically whatever the computer says. So no, It was not because I failed it the first time or because I was suspected of doing drugs.

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Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML


I agree, your life sucks (33772) - you deserved it (9098)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:25pm - love - by adirom - United States (California)

adirom's comment about their FML

Thanks for all your support (or lack there of in some cases) for those of you wondering why I told them over text, my friends and I are very close and have a group message with just the 4 of us, the topic came up and I took the opportunity. I have social anxiety, and decided for the sake of my sanity that would work best. And after my one friend replied "k" there were multiple texts saying they supported me and didn't think of me any differently (which was my worry). So it all turned out for the best!

To all of y'all who think being bisexual isn't a big deal, coming out regardless is a big deal. So please try and open your mind to how difficult it is to stray from social norms!

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