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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

#20842873
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48583) - you deserved it (2705)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:43am - work - by sweet23 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

sweet23's comment about their FML

I think there was a bit of misunderstanding it was just my boss who thought that way, the ladies i work with are the most respectful and caring people i have ever met.

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Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

#20841495
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55742) - you deserved it (5384)

On 08/17/2013 at 8:55am - kids - by ggabrams - United States (Hawaii)

ggabrams's comment about their FML

He didn't give an excuse. I was laughing my ass off in the office though.

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Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

#20838511
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38123) - you deserved it (17908)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:32am - health - by seizure_girl (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

seizure_girl's comment about their FML

Hi there. OP here. Temporal lobe epilepsy involves some pretty freakish seizures that are actually interpreted as religious visions by many. They're a very intense spiritual experience. I was fifteen years old, and spent the next three years as a devout Christian, my own logic at war with my profound sense of purpose. Then I turned 18 and discovered marijuana. Lo and behold, the "visions" disappeared, and I was an atheist again. I made the connection between the drug and the cessation of my fits when I stopped taking it and they came back. Epilepsy never occurred to me until recently, the first time I collapsed into a grand mal seizure in public. I picked myself up off the ground in confusion to meet a lot of stares, and a woman nearby informed me I'd had a seizure. The "aura" that I'd gotten just before blacking out and convulsing was the same as the onset of my previous "visions", the first real clue I'd ever gotten. And yes, my mother is an idiot. When I said that I'd had a seizure while she'd been across the fairgrounds, she accused me of being drunk and said she was disappointed in me for ruining our fun evening at the carnival.

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Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

#20838347
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52978) - you deserved it (3503)

On 08/15/2013 at 4:04am - money - by PapaMoti - Canada (Ontario)

PapaMoti's comment about their FML

Thanks for all the helpful comments! As to what happened next, security was called and we ended up looking at the camera footage which proved that I didn't steal the shirt. The manager was humiliated and apologized, but either way I am not going to be shopping from that store ever again.

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Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40231) - you deserved it (3942)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:48pm - misc - by YayItsYasmine (woman) - Austria (Karnten)

YayItsYasmine's comment about their FML

Hey! I got another lemon in a box today, with the same note. But this time, the "Date me" was in caps and there was drawn a smiley on the lemon. I'm kinda getting creeped out, and i still haven't figured out who made it.

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Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45797) - you deserved it (3150)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:55am - misc - by kenbez123 (man) - Malta

kenbez123's comment about their FML

The neighbour in question was male. No he was not naked (thank god). When he noticed me he just ran off back to his house.

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Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

#20834701
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40074) - you deserved it (2595)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:07am - work - by SparkOfJade - United States (Maryland)

SparkOfJade's comment about their FML

First thing first: I'm a girl. I have an engineering degree from one of the top universities in my field, and hold all the necessary certifications and then some. I do have a military background, but I am not in the military any longer, and I now have a full-time job at one of the top IT firms in the country.

I'm a consultant, meaning I contract out to our company's clients. The "superior" in question was a higher up on the client side which is why he makes so much more than I do. He's been there at least 10 years. I'm on year 2 with my company. As anyone who's been a contractor will tell you, you can only explain to a client that they are being insane for so long until you do what they ask because they are paying the bills and "the customer is always right" *sigh*
I obviously can not tell you which client it was.

I'm really enjoying the witty responses, and even the not so witty ones (I did use the proper form of "there," you imbecile.)

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Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

#20833426
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40152) - you deserved it (3815)

On 08/12/2013 at 6:06am - misc - by MarissaKayleen - Canada (Saskatchewan)

MarissaKayleen's comment about their FML

Haha! I love the comments! I just want to let everyone know, I am not making fun of him or bashing him. I love how he is taking this situation. He seriously is the best :)

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Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

#20832931
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47303) - you deserved it (2808)

On 08/11/2013 at 10:42pm - love - by DandoisFLAT - United States (Michigan)

DandoisFLAT's comment about their FML

Hey, just wanted to inform everyone that yes, she is obviously my ex-girlfriend now and that i'm feeling fine. I was actually out skateboarding with some friends when i got the texts from her, and once i showed them, they made me feel a lot better. We were actually dating for a year and almost two months, but i never thought she would end it like that. So between my friends and the support from you guys i realized that i deserved better then her and i'll be more careful next time in choosing a partner. Thanks guys :)

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Today, I was walking along the beach at night with my family. A huge wave came up and knocked me over. When we got to the van, I realized that the keys that had been in my pocket were now in the ocean. Our cell phones, shoes, and money were in the van. We had to walk three miles to our hotel. FML

#20831839
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40346) - you deserved it (6183)

On 08/11/2013 at 3:28am - misc - by cricketsins (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

cricketsins's comment about their FML

OP here! Just to clarify:


Waves knock people off their feet easily.
We weren't lazy, we just didn't want to walk barefoot through a place covered with broken beer bottles and vomit.
We couldn't break the window because the van had an alarm system, plus it was a nice van and we didn't want to harm it - especially if we were perfectly capable of walking to the hotel and dealing with it the next day.

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Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

#20826635
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46602) - you deserved it (3315)

On 08/08/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by Zlo98 - United States (Georgia)

Zlo98's comment about their FML

Just to clarify it was my nephew who broke his arm. After it happened we asked my cousin to leave and my brother took my nephew to the hospital. The rest of the ceremony went as planned and my brother and nephew made it back in time for the reception. My cousin doesn't usually drink so it was a surprise when he showed up drunk but he has apologized and everything has been smoothed over.

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Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

#20814522
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32796) - you deserved it (57574)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:32am - misc - by vmml97 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

vmml97's comment about their FML

Hey.

Firstly, I am Canadian, and in Ontario, you can carry a folding (not spring assisted or butterfly) knife, with a blade under 3 or 4 inches in length. You can look up the rules if you want. So yes, I was carrying it legally. And why do I carry a knife? Because I use it as a tool. It's not a weapon. I was in the forest, it was a tool. He said he needed it as a tool. I believed him, it's a logical claim.

I can understand why it would seem like a ridiculously dumb idea to let someone borrow your knife, but you need to understand two things: I live in a small, Canadian town. I literally can not remember the last time anyone was attacked here, so I did not fear attack. Also, we were deep in the forest, where there are many reasons that one needs a knife. So, I let him use the knife because he said he needed it. I know it's kind of stupid, and I'm never lending out a knife again, but oh well. He seemed like a nice, polite, well put together guy. He didn't look like your typical mugger, so that's why I lent it out. He had obviously seen the clip of the knife, as I carry it clipped to the inside of my pocket, as that's the law where I live.

And people saying "a woman in a forest, alone, lending out her knife to weird men.... bad idea", I agree. But, I'm not the type of woman you want to fight with, and I'm not some delicate woman alone and afraid. I can hold my own. But, I do have too much faith in humanity, and I trust people too much.

As for people saying "track down your phone", I did. I live close to the forest, so I just ran back home and tracked the phone down. I had it back within a few hours. I lost the $70 in my wallet, but that's not much. He was a stupid thief. The police took care of him.

And, by the way, I never got my knife back :(

I'm gonna go buy another knife, and I'm never gonna lend it out again. In the end, it was scary (I've never been mugged before) and I lost $100 ($70 cash from my wallet, and the knife was worth $30 ish), but I've learned a lesson.

Thanks, everyone. And yes, I know I deserved it!

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Today, one of my employees filed a complaint against me. He claims that I "pick on him" and make him do things I "wouldn't do". Apparently, making him do his job and trying to convince him to wear clean clothes that don't smell like garbage is considered a bad thing. FML

#20813192
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48087) - you deserved it (4140)

On 07/31/2013 at 10:15am - work - by Zatnikatel (man) - United States (Kansas)

Zatnikatel's comment about their FML

OP here to explain further, I'm a manager for a big and tall clothing store and hygiene is covered in the training manual. he was wearing the EXACT Same clothing everyday he worked(multiple days in a row). the stains, wrinkles, abd odor constantly increased. I really don't feel like I was bullying him and I even offered to help purchase him new clothes. he took offense to that as well and went on a rant about how his family is ridiculously wealthy. his work ethic was atrocious, he stopped everything to look at himself in a mirror every half hour or so, he would talk/text on his phone in front of customers he was supposed to be helping and was all around unprofessional. he ended up ending his own employment stating that the job "was too much of a hassle" good riddance as far as I'm concerned.

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