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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

#20746392
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46206) - you deserved it (4329)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:13pm - animals - by bloodprincess - United States

bloodprincess's comment about their FML

I'm really quiet and well my family chooses to ignore me unless it is time for house work.

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Today, a wasp flew into my car. In my frantic attempt to get away from it, I got pulled over and had to prove I was driving sober. FML

#20746277
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39212) - you deserved it (6559)

On 06/25/2013 at 11:28am - animals - by chaoticcupcake - United States (West Virginia)

chaoticcupcake's comment about their FML

To all those asking, I am highly allergic to bees and wasps. When I discovered I was in an enclosed space with it, my mind wasn't thinking "pull over and let it out", but rather panic. When you're scared of something, the mind doesn't always make the most logical decisions. I ended up weaving on and off the shoulder and hadn't realized a cop had his lights on behind me until he sounded his siren. I quickly pulled over and got out of my car. I had to take a breathalyzer and passed, and after explaining my ordeal, the nice man helped me get the wasp out of my car. And to those who say roll the window down: Have you ever successfully tried to get an insect out of a moving vehicle via window? I've tried this on multiple occasions and I either can't get the damned thing to go near the window, or if I do, the wind knocks them back into my car. :/

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Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

#20745652
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45285) - you deserved it (3566)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:04am - misc - by opherehehhehe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

opherehehhehe's comment about their FML

The speech took less than 2 minutes, it was a brief message thanking everyone for coming and how me and my husband greatly appreciate it. The party was the only way to gather my whole family. A dinner reservation would cost hundreds of dollars considering the size of my family. My brother just led my mother out and we carried on. Yes, we did supply a little wine but be didn't want a lot of alcohol considering I am pregnant and I don't want anyone drunk. Just clearing it up (:

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Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

#20745207
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40410) - you deserved it (5963)

On 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm - kids - by VictoriaLeavitt (woman) - United States (Nevada)

VictoriaLeavitt's comment about their FML

OP here. I made an account so I could follow up.

For those of you doubting my parenting: in my household, no banshee-like deed goes unpunished. Yes, this was a school suspension, for those unsure, and it was three weeks, which is pretty reasonable. Sadly, this is a continuation jr. high school for kids who've been permanently expelled (I'm surprised no one asked why she's still in school during the summer), where banshee-like behaviors such as this are not rare.

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Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30233) - you deserved it (5677)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

thanksdoc's comment about their FML

Yes, my psychiatrist is a boss. She did the impression spot on without looking up from her notes, which was hilarious. Woopwoopwoopwooooop

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Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77871) - you deserved it (7074)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

jgtrflynn's comment about their FML

My Aunt has ALWAYS done something nice for us after a deployment, she is our only family nearby and frequents our home during his absence to make sure I'm still alive when I disappear for days, she used to freak out but now knows she will always find me passed out next to his motorcycle:p(she knows where my spare key is and uses it so much it might as well be hers.) Normally she is waiting outside for us after corresponding with me, but this time she decided to be secretive to try and scare the pants off us (beat her to it) by hiding in the coat closet directly behind the front door and jumping out right as we came in. We did so loudly, crashing into both doors. Said closet has a push button lock on the outer knob, in perfect position.....then of course we got loud and into ourselves, not noticing her calls or knocks. She knows of course how we are after he returns, but her plan just backfired a bit:)

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Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML

#20743731
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38580) - you deserved it (2963)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by kriseliz (woman) - United States (Colorado)

kriseliz's comment about their FML

OP here. Dude was obviously on drugs, incoherent, and, again, naked. When the police arrived, they found his clothes in a pile outside of my door, along with a crack pipe. I was with my disabled mother, and I was not opening that door.

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Today, I finally unfriended my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me. After discovering this, she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical tears that my roommate move out because I can't be trusted. FML

#20743277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42302) - you deserved it (2959)

On 06/23/2013 at 8:30pm - misc - by nomomsonfacebook (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

nomomsonfacebook's comment about their FML

Hi all,

I'm the OP. I didn't have an account when I posted this so I created one to respond to some comments. First off, my roommate is my friend from college. We both go to grad school at the same school so we moved in together after graduation. I had never met her mom before we moved in & only accepted her facebook friendship a few months ago because she wanted me to help her plan a birthday surprise for her daughter. I quickly realized she really did it to spy on her daughter/me when she posted things like "where are you guys?" "what are you up to tonight?" "where was this pic taken?" literally multiple time a day. At first I thought it was funny but it became increasingly worrying recently until I decided I felt too uncomfortable & unfriended her. Within five hours she was wailing in my kitchen about how horrible I am & trying to pack my roommate's things to move her out. My roommate was mortified & told her she was being irrational & she left in a huff & hasn't spoken to her daughter since. Thanks for all the funny posts, made the situation much lighter. Now I'm just glad my mom doesn't have facebook!

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Today, I returned home from a two-year trip overseas. My mom's first words as she greeted me at the arrivals terminal of the airport were, "Your father and I are getting a divorce." FML

#20738269
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47337) - you deserved it (2564)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by JabberWocky54210 (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

JabberWocky54210's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here. She immediately apologized after, but the damage was done. Like a couple of you said, Mom didn't want me to be upset during the last couple of months of my trip. I'm 18 and was on an exchange program, so I wasn't there for most of the development up to this statement. It's difficult, but I could see very quickly that my parents weren't happy. Things are better now, with Mom here in New Zealand and my dad in the States. Sorry to all of you who have been through this as well.

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Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37818) - you deserved it (8052)

On 06/20/2013 at 10:23pm - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States

accountnamevalid's comment about their FML

We had a very amicable divorce. I'll admit I laughed a bit, but waiting on that key cost me cab and bus fare, when I could have called the locksmith I'll have to call anyway.

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Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

#20737761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37612) - you deserved it (12287)

On 06/20/2013 at 7:28pm - misc - by Sydney1600 (woman) - United States (California)

Sydney1600's comment about their FML

I was KINDLY telling her how it wasn't "cool" to like her own stuff. She accepted my tip with a warming smile. We have a close relationship, so it wasn't surprising that she did that. The picture wasn't too exposing. All you could see was my bottom. My friends now joke about it, so it was easy to get over it. Now my mom is the "cool mom." The worst part would have to be that she now gets more likes on her post than I do. So much for liking her own pictures.

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Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

#20736945
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44364) - you deserved it (2889)

On 06/20/2013 at 10:10am - health - by Becckzfizz (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Becckzfizz's comment about their FML

Hello, I wrote this, Yes I'm in England. I'd text my mum to let her know that I was on my way home, she'd replied and all was well. Next thing I know she's ringing me again thinking that I've done a runner from the hospital. The doctor had discharged me and signed all of my forms, though the nurses on duty had not been notified of this and immediately called the police to report me as a missing person (even though I was waiting for my taxi in the hospital entrance), the police then contacted my emergency contact (my mum) and then she called me. I understand that it wasn't the Doctors fault, it was just a clerical error. All clear?

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Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML

#20736550
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43381) - you deserved it (4244)

On 06/20/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by aimee_alexis (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

aimee_alexis's comment about their FML

hey guys, i cant log into my account i made this post on so i made a new one! The cop told her she was being outrageous and told her to only call for emergencies. Since I live in Canada, if it really was weed, the police probably wouldnt do anything about it anyways. My neighbour is even more pissed off now, and since i live in a townhouse unit she has really been watching me closely. FYI, yes I am only 14 but its only an e cigarette.

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