Today, I was going to kiss my girlfriend for the first time. As I leaned in, closed my eyes, and was about to kiss her, she pushed me away and said, "Not with that pimple on your chin." FML

guitar_god7007's comment about their FML

Wow. It actually got through. Thanks people. Now everyone can laugh at my unfortunate existence. For those of you wondering, it was our first date, I had arranged it by phone, that's why I hadn't kissed her yet. And my pimples grow really big, really quickly...

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Today, I have a huge scab on my thigh. What from? My thighs rubbing together. FML

lilykat84's comment about their FML

This is my FML.. that I wrote a while back ago! Just now commenting on it, ha. Anyways, yeah my thighs do rub together at times.. >.> It bites but sometimes powder helps a little. I learned the hard way that rubbing lotion (it was bath and body works lotion) on freshly chaffed thighs burns like hell. Truthfully I'm not THAT over weight. I would like to lose about 30 pounds though, but that'll have to wait until after February. Thanks for the comments though, some were pretty funny! ^.^

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Today, I learned that horror movies do not exaggerate the pain of getting your nails ripped from your fingers. FML

IIIlibras's comment about their FML

Welllll, I needed to move my boyfriend and I's heavy mattress back against the wall so as I lifted it up, our Doberman (who loves to pounce things) decided then would be a good time to do so..Right where my hands were. My poor long nails just could not hold up the weight thus resulting in blood.

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Today, I went to see a movie I'd been waiting months for. A couple of women sat down a few rows in front of me with five infants. The infants cried and wailed throughout. I'm not sure I have any idea what was actually said in any of the dialogue. FML

AceGeek's comment about their FML

It was a midnight showing of Captain America. I was not going to bitch them out, because I am not absolutely rude. I was trying to show respect for mothers that have to take care of a child. I am just disappointed that I could not hear the dialogue. Yes, I did get a refund after I explained the situation, and I am going to go see it tomorrow. Hope that clears it up.

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Today, my boyfriend and his bandmates were doing a live interview for a web show. Drunk off his ass, my boyfriend starts telling the internet how his ex-girlfriend is his biggest inspiration. I was standing right next to him. FML

Btwigster's comment about their FML

He's in a punk band, like, old school punk. Very '70's sounding. They don't even sing about girls that I've noticed! However, he apologized later and explained he was just nervous, and that it would never happen again. I believe that he was just nervous, but that sort of thing sticks with you, you know? You can't help wondering if that's how he really feels.

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Today, I realized how close my boyfriend and best friend are. FML

clumbsy_at_best's comment about their FML

they were having sex on chat roulette.....

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Today, I received a text at 6am from my boss stating that my services are no longer required. He couldn't even wait until I was awake to fire me. FML

Noff's comment about their FML

Fortunately it was nothing to do with my work ethic or wrong doings on my part. The business simply couldn't support the amount of staff it had at the time.

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Today, I went to a party and we all decided to play hide-and-go-seek despite our ages. I started counting. When I was done, I started searching and after 5 minutes of searching, I found that everyone left me. FML

TheStripedBeatle's comment about their FML

To clarify, they left me. They weren't even hiding.

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Today, my neighbor passed away, and my father and I went to give his wife our condolences. In the middle of my dad's conversation with the wife, he says "I'm sorry for your loss, I knew Jim well, he was a great guy." The wife stares at him and says, "His name was Rich." FML

Elliott_B's comment about their FML

OP here, just for some more info we had given her a card at the same time and my dad wrote Rich in it, he just accidentally let Jim slip on accident. my dad is not an "idiot", he just wasn't thinking clearly at the time

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Today, I decided I was done waiting for my boyfriend to ask me to marry him, so we were cuddling in his bed and I asked him. He asked for a rain check. FML

brokenbabe's comment about their FML

I am the OP. my boyfriend and i havent had sex. Thats the first thing. We've been together 3 years. He has promised we are getting married since fall 2010. He said like this summer.
I did not leave him. I am just mad at him

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Today, my boyfriend sent me a video of him having sex with someone from one of his last relationships because he thought it would turn me on. FML

James64138's comment about their FML

OP here, and you're right. He was a complete idiot. I ended up dumping him a week later and I have a much smarter boyfriend now!

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Today, my grandmother's graduation presents came for my sisters. Not only did she remember to send them cards, but money too. My graduation was a year ago, I received nothing, and last time she saw me, she didn't know my name. FML

Chicharon's comment about their FML

This is my fmylife. For you kind, understanding people, thanks, but she doesn't have alzheimers, she's just crazy, and she really didn't remember my name, but she had it down pretty good when she found out I work in antique store and could get 50% off, and I'm 19, a little late for birthdays, she's my dads mom, doesn't like my mom, and I look like my mom. All of my siblings are tan and brown eyed, I'm pale ad green eyed. She never liked me much. Its okie though, haha, it's pretty mutual. I'm glad she moved to the other side of the country when I was little.

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Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

Taurus_ChicKa's comment about their FML

OP here, let me clear it up. Mom blamed my computer for something I said so she thought I was turning spaghetti brained and demanded Dad to unhook it. Menopause is a bitch. So after hours of this Dad yanked the comp out and threw it NOT directly at Mom but...

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