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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

#21264237
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46163) - you deserved it (4932)

On 09/24/2014 at 12:24am - intimacy - by hahaohyeahwow - United States (Michigan)

hahaohyeahwow's comment about their FML

He said he had to poop (lmfao) and did it in there. Also, he cannot do it twice in a night. He literally just passes out. Ha.

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Today, I saw my boyfriend wiping his nose with his hand and then using the snot to gel back his hair. FML

#21263839
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37532) - you deserved it (4648)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:04pm - love - by danceinconverse - Canada (Ontario)

danceinconverse's comment about their FML

Just followed up on my recently accepted FML, so thought I should explain this one too! Everyone's comments seriously made me laugh by the way. Especially the shrek one, my boyfriend really appreciated that.

To everyone saying "you mean ex boyfriend?", no. (Let me explain). If I dated a guy who legitimately did this, you can bet your bottom dollar he would be kicked to the curb. But I have to admit, I only posted a small portion of the full story. He actually mimed doing this as a joke in front of our friends, but unfortunately he managed to unintentionally get a little booger on his hand and actually wipe it in his hair. I informed him, and he ran to the bathroom with a mortified look to shower.

And no, we will never let him live it down! Mwahahaha!

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Today, a new fire alarm system is being installed in my building. Not only does the alarm go off incessantly, but the elevators stop running when it happens. I live on the 12th floor. FML

#21263239
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (2871)

On 09/22/2014 at 5:15pm - misc - by paedra - United States (New York)

paedra's comment about their FML

Hey this is my post! They've actually been working on the fire alarm system for a few months, but this is the first time I needed to use the elevators when they were out. I needed to pee really badly so I ran up the stairs (in business attire) only for them to start working as soon as I got to my floor!

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Today, what I thought was going to be a lunch date turned into a life insurance sales pitch. FML

#21263186
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33233) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/22/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by WhiteCaribbean (man) - Saint Lucia (Castries)

WhiteCaribbean's comment about their FML

BTW I'm straight, for anyone in the comments wondering, it was a female who pitched the life insurance. I seriously thought she was interested in me; that's why i went to meet her =S

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Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

#21262383
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34979) - you deserved it (3272)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:57am - misc - by MikaykayUnicorn (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

MikaykayUnicorn's comment about their FML

Okay, this is about to sound really dumb. But unless someone happened to have the same thing happen to them and happened to post it on FML the same day as I, I'm the OP. I'm unsure because of the fact that it says Australia and Anonymous. Hmm.
To explain things a little more: he was totally kidding. We joke around like this a lot. I wasn't offended, until I realised I haven't received an actual compliment in years. We had been talking about how his parents normally believe that he's dating any girl he speaks to, except me. I responded by saying , "Oh, so I don't look like a girl?" I wasn't fishing for compliments, in case you were wondering. (I'd also like to say thank you to anyone who commented anything like "I bet you're beautiful". Reading the comments made my day.) I just said it as a joke. He replied, "Kind of, from the right angle." It wasn't meant to offend me, but it did make my day a pretty bad when I thought about it too much. Oh well, he didn't mean any harm.
I also don't dress like a guy, and don't have a short haircut. I also wear makeup. So I don't believe I have many "manly" features.

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Today, I was hit with a sudden onset of diarrhea and had to use the washroom on the train. As soon as I pulled down my pants, my worst nightmare came true, as someone opened the door and exposed me to the other passengers. FML

#21261474
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34320) - you deserved it (4414)

On 09/19/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Bebbo - Canada (Ontario)

Bebbo's comment about their FML

Hey guys, op here, the GO train and Via Rail have washrooms. In this case the GO, this particular washroom was on the first level in front of the entrance to the train. And yes the washroom has a lock and I thought I had locked the door, even tested it. Mind you, the passenger who opened the door seemed to have put a lot of strength behind opening the door. So people beware, the go locks aren't that strong!

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Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

#21261172
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35512) - you deserved it (3861)

On 09/19/2014 at 8:52am - misc - by jewelthewat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

jewelthewat's comment about their FML

I was on a holiday to see my long distance boyfriend in the UK. We took a bus to go see a movie that evening, but a bunch of school kids had to take the bus too. Apparently this guy knew my boyfriend from when they both still attended the same high school and he thought he was funny.

We had a really weird conversation, this guy and me, but apart from weird and a little rude, he was also quite friendly and funny. The remark about my teeth was a joke too.

About my teeth, my upper jaw is a little too small so my canines are "on top" of my other teeth. It looks REALLY cool, but yeah, it's quite visible (especially when I smile, I look like a vampire). Thanks for all your comments guys, you're really sweet!

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Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

#21259755
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33351) - you deserved it (12895)

On 09/16/2014 at 11:18pm - animals - by blazon_paradox (woman) - United States (Michigan)

blazon_paradox's comment about their FML

In the area I live and work it's very possible that a stray cat will be less than healthy. And as I own two cats I also don't want to carry fleas or ticks home to them. Also, and mostly this I think, I don't want to be attacked by a rabid animal- Adorable kitten or otherwise.

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Today, my eight-year-old brother told his classmates that I have cancer. Nope, just really bad acne. FML

#21258921
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33414) - you deserved it (2506)

On 09/15/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Peeves - United States

Peeves's comment about their FML

OP here! My brother legitimately believed that having acne is the same thing as having cancer, but after a good talk with him about the difference between a normal teenage phenomenon and a life-threatening disease, I think he's straightened out his vocabulary terms. Oh, the bliss of being baby-faced and blemish-free! I told him he was lucky that he wouldn't have to worry about any skin problems for several years.

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Today, I was checking out of a hotel when I saw some complementary mints. They weren't mints. They were glass beads. FML

#21258904
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26783) - you deserved it (10552)

On 09/15/2014 at 5:39pm - misc - by Wingman527 - United States (California)

Wingman527's comment about their FML

You can actually, it's called school.

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Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (4046)

On 09/15/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by GallowsHumor (woman) - Finland

GallowsHumor's comment about their FML

Hi,

I'm the OP. I realized I was reading my own FML and thus created this account.

To elaborate the story, these estimations are called Fermi problems and they're designed to teach dimensional analysis and approximation. They're typical in physics and engineering education and mine is a mix of both.

The gerbil-sun is actually an approximation presented by Dr. Larry Weinstein - a physics professor and co-author of 'Guesstimation: Solving the World's Problem's on the Back of a Cocktail Napkin'.
I believe the title should speak for itself... *sigh*... and that is exactly how it felt to be on the lecture.

It is not that I think that learning to approximate is something to be scoffed at, per se. Indeed, it is skill that all experimental scientists and other people alike do need and find useful - often in basic, everyday life. However this was the third lecture in the series and they all have gone more or less within the realm of vagueness, "hip" examples and little to grasp for the inevitable physics homework that doesn't solve itself.
On a related note, my lecture-mates also eagerly discussed the approximate number of piano tuners in Finland (in the original problem the place is Chicago) and at which height Felix Baumgartner might have broken the sound barrier during his sky-dive from the altitude of 39 kilometers (estimate).

As this endless drone went on and on, I sat there, bored out of my mind, desperately wondering if and when the tune of the lecture(s) would change and how the heck would I utilize this in the homework, most of which requires some actual and exact calculation, not just some half-baked estimates. Thus the FML.

P.S. There's actually a short article in thepointnews.com about Weinstein and his gerbil-sun, and I must say it was way more interesting (not to mention less time-consuming) a read than listening my class drone on and on about it and the other Fermi problems for 90 minutes straight.

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Today, after politely reminding my husband to turn the bathroom light off after he's done, he did so. While I was on the toilet. FML

#21258522
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (7952)

On 09/15/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by rightlessonwrong - United States (Texas)

rightlessonwrong's comment about their FML

OP here. I was on the toilet while he was brushing his teeth. After he turned the light off I said "Hello, someone still in here!" To which he replied, "Oops! Sorry Hun!" And turned it back on for me.

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Today, I found my son trying to comb his hair with scissors. He's the same kid who thought that if he ate toothpaste, he would never have to brush his teeth again. FML

#21257985
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36856) - you deserved it (5133)

On 09/14/2014 at 10:35am - kids - by berryjones11024 - United States (North Carolina)

berryjones11024's comment about their FML

Hello the OP here, in case you are wondering my son is 14, this what makes this bad. I had a talk with him about combing his hair with scissors, he said that since it had an edge he thought it would work just fine. He's not hurt in any way but if he was to hurt himself, I would have told him to figure it out. The eating toothpaste is a whole different story, I didn't know the purpose and he didn't know the purpose. I don't think he knew that toothpaste is poisonous if you ate it. Anybody want to adopt a kid?

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