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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML

#20851672
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40939) - you deserved it (3210)

On 08/24/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by carobee (woman) - United States (Washington)

carobee's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here! I had an accident, and therefore could not choose the date of the surgery. My face was severely smashed up, my nose broken and my jaw wired shut. It was a summer class and I missed the first 3 days, so by the time I was well enough to go they were already testing. The class was a pre-req I needed for my next year of class, my senior year. I didn't want to graduate late from college, as I am a pre med student and want to take the mcat next summer. I was not seriously worried about making friends, it was just funny to get so many strange looks. Anyway thanks for all the sweet comments, I'm doing much better now and look back to normal!!

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Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

#20851191
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48452) - you deserved it (3251)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:21pm - misc - by Hannahb17 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Hannahb17's comment about their FML

For those of you who are wondering, I'm 17 and I work at Forever 21. I asked the two girls if they needed any help and they said, "Umm.. We don't want YOUR help." I said, "Excuse me?" They said, "OMG WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? WE DON'T WANT YOUR HELP! CAN WE GET SOMEONE ELSE TO HELP US?" At that point a manager came over to see what the problem was and the girls said, "We don't want her help. She doesn't even have a thigh gap. Why does she even work here?" Not wanting to do anything stupid and lose my job, I walked away. The two girls had to have been only a year or two younger than me. Plot twist: THEY DIDN'T HAVE FREAKING THIGH GAPS! I can't explain to y'all how much that irked me. The whole thing was just stupid. I really like working at Forever 21, though, so I'm glad I didn't do anything to jeopardize that. Well, thank you all for the supportive comments! They were fun to read. (: I hope y'all have a great night/day!

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Today, I was at the library. I had to use the restroom, where I ended up singing in bad, made-up Japanese the whole time. When I went back across the library, my brother informed me that everyone could clearly hear me. FML

#20850306
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20070) - you deserved it (38842)

On 08/23/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by Singer_Song - United States

Singer_Song's comment about their FML

I'm the OP. The reason I say Japanese specifically is because I do know a few words and included them in the song. I do love anime. I'm actually a really good singer, I've bee compared to Evanescance (I'm not trying to show off I have no reason to show off to online strangers). I was singing because I had a tune in my head and was being silly. Also the restroom is in the back of the Library so I didn't think it would go that far. I didn't know because not a single person made a face or anything.

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Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

#20849993
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18178) - you deserved it (53233)

On 08/22/2013 at 10:05pm - work - by ShadowReiku (woman) - United States (Maryland)

ShadowReiku's comment about their FML

Hey guys. I did realize my mistake very shortly after and deleted the status before anyone caught it. My mom's business is still getting off the ground and so I would be very surprised to find out that anyone at all saw it before it was deleted. As for no one caring, my facebook is only for very close friends, so I wasn't expecting any likes or anything - just any reprieve from the dullness of what I was doing. This was not really an end of the world thing, just a little "Oh shit" moment I thought I'd share.

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Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

#20847774
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53506) - you deserved it (4273)

On 08/21/2013 at 12:27pm - intimacy - by Stinkipinkki - United States (Texas)

Stinkipinkki's comment about their FML

Hey everyone!
I loved reading your comments. The good, the bad, and even the ugly. Let me just clear up that it was my moms birthday, so I came down early to wake her up with breakfast. I wasn't coming down to listen like a pervert. I am very glad my parents are still fond of each other but I experienced just a tad too much of this fondness. I know realize that I could of walked back up and try not to squeak on the stairs, but come on. I wasn't really thinking at that point, mostly freaking out!
Thanks everyone and no I didn't have my camera to save the picture as blackmail ;)

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Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

#20847212
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46521) - you deserved it (2759)

On 08/21/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by MissCharlotte (woman) - United States (Illinois)

MissCharlotte's comment about their FML

Hi everyone, I am the OP. I am so glad this got published!! Also, all of these coments are great :) To add more to the story: My sister and I went out to lunch with my dad because he was in town and wanted to see us. He seemed to have changed since he divorced my mom 15 years ago, so we let him drive us home, which is how he knew where our apartment was. Later that night, I heard noises in our apartment, so my badass sister tackled him and pepper-sprayed him as he was trying to pick up our TV. He was aressted (he actually had a knife) and we are getting a restraining order against him.

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Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52964) - you deserved it (5947)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

aly55a_mariie's comment about their FML

LOL they definitely weren't lying when they said the internet could be brutal. First off, I have ten other tattoos and this is the first time something like this has happened. I take great care in all of my tattoos. I would like to think of myself as an incredibly clean person. Anal to a certain extent. I live with a very talented and successful tattoo artist. He too was freaked out waking up to ants in our bed. I didn't use anything scented. Just the typical A&D ointment. It was not infected nor did it get infected. It was just one of those crappy things that happen to people. I have had another tattoo since then and am happy to say there was no ant attack this time! But thanks everyone for your comments and likes! And for those that don't think you can see a tattoo in your future, please don't let this be the reason! I highly doubt this is a common occurance. Thanks again everyone and have a great day!

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Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

#20845220
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39362) - you deserved it (3084)

On 08/19/2013 at 7:29pm - misc - by bluerhhajfk - United States (Rhode Island)

bluerhhajfk's comment about their FML

Apparently his friend gave him some to try. He's only 14 so I don't think he knew any better. He told me he was experimenting, and I think that's an okay thing to do so long as he learned his lesson. He is just a young stupid teenager.

Moral of the story: Don't do drugs, kids. Or you'll burn your penises.

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Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

#20845198
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (33143)

On 08/19/2013 at 7:15pm - love - by sirradel - United States

sirradel's comment about their FML

OP here guys!
Just for your information, I'm a woman and my spouse is a man.

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Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML

#20844930
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (3358)

On 08/19/2013 at 3:55pm - misc - by AtomicDiamond87 (woman) - United States (Washington)

AtomicDiamond87's comment about their FML

OP here. Well She didn't say it as a joke. She's always been a let down. But thank you all for the good comments. No I don't cheat. I love my boyfriend. Been together almost two years. Didn't plan for a baby because the doctors told him he wasn't able. He's so happy. And i'm always tired. Ad for the woman who also have mother in law problems keep your heads up :)

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Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

#20844815
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47665) - you deserved it (16402)

On 08/19/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by xxSecretAngelxx - United States (North Carolina)

xxSecretAngelxx's comment about their FML

Hi everyone! I'm the OP and for those who were wondering I am in college which makes this story the more embarrassing! It was my first presentation this semester. It was a group presentation so I was already standing in front of the class with the rest of my group waiting for my turn to speak. Someone commented how come nobody told me when I walked in the class, when I walked in my jacket was zipped up, I started playing with my zipper when I was up in front of the class because it is a nervous tick I have, I do it without even noticing it. Kinda like how some girls twirl their hair or bite their nails. Of course either one of those would have been less embarrassing on that particular day!

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Today, I got to watch how easy it is to break into my flat, after I locked myself out and went to my neighbour for help. He used a blunt pencil. FML

#20844279
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36334) - you deserved it (3269)

On 08/19/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by mamaflower (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

mamaflower's comment about their FML

Just so you know, I live in a council estate so I always figured my neighbour would be able to break in if he wanted. It was just a shocked to see how easy it was. And I can't change the locks with out going through a big pile of paper work and waiting for permission. So much hassle. Any way thanks for the funny comments =)

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Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

#20844093
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18627) - you deserved it (34988)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:50am - money - by Blink_me26 - Australia (Victoria)

Blink_me26's comment about their FML

I did not expect this to get posted at all haha well anyway it was actually a pink unicorn onesie (yes I'm a child inside), I'm definitely going to buy it because it's not the seller's fault and my best friend is going to buy it off me for a onesie party she's going to so I'll just change the address to her house, no harm done. I'm very surprised I won the auction because I am always outbid at the last minute, the demand for pink unicorns probably isn't very high. Thanks for your comments, even the one that said I was an asshole lol :)

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