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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

#20862881
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48049) - you deserved it (2904)

On 09/01/2013 at 6:40am - money - by jfanous (man) - United States (California)

jfanous's comment about their FML

haha, yeah i'm the OP. didn't know you need an account to comment...but I just wanted to clear up something. I didn't want my parents to pay, a simple "you got in" would have been nice. I was planning on doing ROTC and letting Uncle Sam handle my tuition.

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Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

#20862606
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33416) - you deserved it (6428)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by Rapunzel1974 - United States (Mississippi)

Rapunzel1974's comment about their FML

I'm the OP. I'm the one with the Fabulous Fingerbiters. These chickens aren't food: they're overindulged pets. Each one has a name, so chicken stew isn't an option. I've named them after various vaudeville stars or actresses because they're a lot of feathery drama queens. Actually, biting the hand that feeds them is right in line with the entertainment-industry theme I chose when naming them.

A chicken bite from a baby bird isn't really painful at all because their little beaks are so soft. Even an adult bird's peck isn't painful in the same way a dog or cat bite is painful. They can't break the skin, although if they get you in the face it can leave a scratch or welt. A parrot, by contrast, can take your finger off. Chickens just aren't strong enough.

These are going to be lovely laying hens. They're just a bit cheeky. I think I can break them of the habit by switching for a while to grass instead of mealworms, by *not* dropping the goodies no matter what, and moving on to the second phase of training, where I train them to hop onto my lap and sit there to be fed and petted.

When training a chicken, it's important to use food as a reward. They're not like dogs and they don't consider attention a reward. They don't even consider petting a reward until they're conditioned to do so, because it's not a normal behavior or sensation for them. But it's straight-up operant conditioning, right out of B.F. Skinner

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Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

#20860030
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39076) - you deserved it (2340)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:23am - misc - by rapunzel3416 - United States (California)

rapunzel3416's comment about their FML

Yay I'm the OP I'm happy this got posted. I'm 22 and coach girls volleyball. A volunteer basketball coach didn't recognize me and thought I was a student. This happens when we go to away games too. The coaches of the other teams will tell me to leave until my coach is here and even some high school students think I'm on the team. I think it's pretty funny and am glad I still look young.

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Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

#20858962
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40739) - you deserved it (5281)

On 08/29/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by IronSkye (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

IronSkye's comment about their FML

Okay, I'm glad this FML got published. Thanks, guys! However, looks like I have some questions to answer. Firstly, my sister is almost eleven. The day before, we went shopping, and dad bought foir bottles of beer for a game he was going to watch in two days with his friends. My sister took the bottles and put the beer in cups, it totally looked like lemonade. She even put some lemons next to them! Yes, it was light beer, fortunately. But still alcohol. The kids told their mums the juice tasted funny, so they took a sip and figured out what it actually was. In the end, my sister's excuse was that she knew lemonade wouldn't have been successful anyway.

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Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

#20858278
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41375) - you deserved it (2565)

On 08/28/2013 at 7:02pm - work - by Kannachan13 - United States (New York)

Kannachan13's comment about their FML

Op here. It's an at will state, and the store had a strict please-all-guests policy. From what I was told it was out of my bosses hands as they actually called corporate and there was no proof it was her. As far as parents well I doubt anything will come of that

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Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

#20856367
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40380) - you deserved it (4822)

On 08/27/2013 at 10:46am - animals - by outthelabyrynth - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

outthelabyrynth's comment about their FML

Okay, maybe break the piano was a bit of a drastic solution. It's really heavy and my dad got it as a gift from one of his patients, so I'm not really familiar with the thing. It's really old and out of tune, we do get it tuned once in a while, but it doesn't make any difference. We are trying to find someone who's interested in it, since we don't use it anymore, and for that reason we had placed the piano in a side part of the house.

I'm a responsible cat owner and I know that when you get a new cat you have to let it get used to your house room by room. Unfortunately for us, it was the piano room... I still have no idea how she got in, since the piano is a really massive thing, no holes or stuff like that. We had to take of the front (which also happens when it gets tuned) to get her out, but she was completely fine and so was the piano, so, that turned out all right :)

For those of you who were asking if I bought or adopted the cat, I meant bought. I really think adopting is better! But this cat species is hypo-allergic, and since my dad is allergic to cats, this was the only way we could get one. I've wanted a cat for whole my life and after 16 years, my dream came true, and everyone here loves our little kitty :)

I laughed at all your musical kitty jokes, and thanks for all the advice! Happy holidays xxx

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Today, I was told that the $500 I'm owed for babysitting isn't going to happen. Why? Because after six months of watching a friend's six children, she's moved 120 miles away and no longer needs me. FML

#20856236
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39521) - you deserved it (3709)

On 08/27/2013 at 6:29am - work - by bexes - United States (Texas)

bexes's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here. After reading some of the comments I can see there is a bit of confusion. The babysitting thing was a great gig at the start. She was paying me $200/week. What had happened was she hurt her back and couldn't work but had to go to multiple dr appointments there after. I was wanting to take a CNA course that cost $500. So we agreed she would pay for the class if I continued to watch the kids during her appointments. I held up my end she didn't.

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Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

#20855380
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40661) - you deserved it (2493)

On 08/26/2013 at 5:18pm - love - by Suunflower_14 - United States (Arizona)

Suunflower_14's comment about their FML

Just wanted to confirm some questions here. I'm gonna be getting a restraining order here soon. He still tries to talk me at work (we work at the same coffee shop, what a coincidence) and I do my best to ignore him. He creeps me out actually very much so and he constantly is bugging me. The guy is weird, but in a way I feel bad for him because he's always been an outcast and doesn't really understand how to have friends. Anyways, I should be starting my college classes soon too so I can focus on school and not so much... Him.. Too bad he's probably a kidnapper. Thanks for the... lovely comments guys.

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Today, a customer wanted a military discount for buying two 39 cent Slim Jims. I work at an auto parts store. FML

#20854690
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (3083)

On 08/26/2013 at 1:51am - work - by luvmypony (woman) - United States (California)

luvmypony's comment about their FML

I can't give discounts on something so cheap. company policy

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Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

#20853384
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41986) - you deserved it (3484)

On 08/25/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by justash12 - United States (New Jersey)

justash12's comment about their FML

OP here following up with some details! I can not get the image of him crouching in front of the tent and taking a shit out of my head! Yes, it was a shitty situation. No, I haven't dumped him. Shoes were on! We were at a public campground, down the shore. The bathrooms have toilets, showers, sinks, and TP.

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Today, like every day for the past 6 months, I got a call from the same telemarketers. I've been ignoring the calls, so now they've started leaving me voicemails. I can't get rid of the annoying voicemail icon on my phone without making a call, so I have to pay to listen to their offers. FML

#20852812
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33342) - you deserved it (4900)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:27am - money - by Sinkhole (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Sinkhole's comment about their FML

So, to answer people's comments:

I'm not really going to change numbers, because I've already changed my number like 4 times for unrelated reasons, and I'm tired of changing it. I don't have a contract phone, and blocking numbers through the phone company is more hassle than it's worth, and probably wouldn't work anyway. I have no smartphone, so I can't just get an app. Not gonna take legal action against them because this is not a sue happy country. I have already told them not to call me, many many times (would be stupid not to have tried that already). After six months of two or three calls from them a day, ignoring them is not as easy as it sounds. There is no "do not call" list in my country.

The most ridiculous thing is that they're trying to sell me some English courses, and I've told them I don't even need them, but of course, they just want to sell.

I'll have to muster up the courage to pick up the phone and play loud and freaky porn for them in the background until they decide I'm a deranged individual who shouldn't be messed with.

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Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML

#20851672
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39743) - you deserved it (3105)

On 08/24/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by carobee (woman) - United States (Washington)

carobee's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here! I had an accident, and therefore could not choose the date of the surgery. My face was severely smashed up, my nose broken and my jaw wired shut. It was a summer class and I missed the first 3 days, so by the time I was well enough to go they were already testing. The class was a pre-req I needed for my next year of class, my senior year. I didn't want to graduate late from college, as I am a pre med student and want to take the mcat next summer. I was not seriously worried about making friends, it was just funny to get so many strange looks. Anyway thanks for all the sweet comments, I'm doing much better now and look back to normal!!

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Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

#20851191
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46315) - you deserved it (3067)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:21pm - misc - by Hannahb17 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Hannahb17's comment about their FML

For those of you who are wondering, I'm 17 and I work at Forever 21. I asked the two girls if they needed any help and they said, "Umm.. We don't want YOUR help." I said, "Excuse me?" They said, "OMG WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? WE DON'T WANT YOUR HELP! CAN WE GET SOMEONE ELSE TO HELP US?" At that point a manager came over to see what the problem was and the girls said, "We don't want her help. She doesn't even have a thigh gap. Why does she even work here?" Not wanting to do anything stupid and lose my job, I walked away. The two girls had to have been only a year or two younger than me. Plot twist: THEY DIDN'T HAVE FREAKING THIGH GAPS! I can't explain to y'all how much that irked me. The whole thing was just stupid. I really like working at Forever 21, though, so I'm glad I didn't do anything to jeopardize that. Well, thank you all for the supportive comments! They were fun to read. (: I hope y'all have a great night/day!

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