Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

mitchell904's comment about their FML

I will definitely be fighting it! There's no way I'll pay it. The reason I got the fine is because the car park management is outsourced to another company, and they've just switched to an automated system which identifies the registration number of the cars when entering and leaving. Whilst I have a little permit sticker on my windscreen - which has been fine for the past 2 years - the system doesn't see it. Needless to say I'll be going in to speak to someone today... And walking.

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Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

caitlinz5's comment about their FML

You're a terrible advertisement for the bi community then. I'm upset because he hasn't got any romantic feelings for me and my love for him has always been unrequited. Don't you call ME a rude bitch. I've got NOTHING against gay and bi folks and neither do lots of people commenting. Sad to say they might get a bad impression of them with people like you attacking people for no reason.

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Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

jesifairy's comment about their FML

:-D

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Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Ameel's comment about their FML

It's from the original series. Not one of the films. /nerd

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Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

kayadd33's comment about their FML

She's 13 and perfectly normal in every other way...

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Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Baustigt's comment about their FML

My bulldog is not a possessed monster, Red! I mean, sure, she has tried to gouge the netting from the trampoline and she likes to eat the eyes from stuffed animals and sometimes she'll crush the skulls of heretics and devour the life-fluid from...

Oh.

Okay, carry on.

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Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

dcort's comment about their FML

Yes, but it wasn't strong enough to suck the spiders in, so instead they all got scared and ran out....

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Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML

psychoticbiatch's comment about their FML

No, it wasn't at either of our houses it was at my brothers house, so no, I'm the only 30yr old "thing" there

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Today, I went to see my grandfather in hospital, to see how well he's recovering from his stroke. He asked who I was. After I told him I'm his grand-daughter, his head almost rolled off his neck in disappointment. FML

GPemTGM's comment about their FML

At #24. I know my grandfather better than anyone. He remembered me when he saw me and asked if my brother was my husband, I told him he wasn't and he smiled. Then later when I told him I was his grand-daughter, that's when he looked disappointed. I love him more than anything it broke my heart.

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Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to put my bra on. FML

anniemeece's comment about their FML

Wow, I can't believe this actually got published! :O
Okay, most of the questions are how: it's a sports bra. I hooked it in the back, and as I was adjusting the front so that it, ahem, fully encompassed everything and that the straps weren't twisted, my hand slipped as I was pulling up the front, and with the power of the elastic, hit myself in the mouth.
I know, it was pretty silly.

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Today, my morning sickness decided to show itself every time I smell coffee. I work at a coffee shop. FML

GothicAngel17's comment about their FML

That's why I drink tea instead, unfortunately coffee isn't something I can avoid all of the time D:

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