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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

#21221426
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43047) - you deserved it (3048)

On 07/26/2014 at 7:40pm - misc - by SofaKingPretty - United States (California)

SofaKingPretty's comment about their FML

I'm in Cali for the summer and don't really know the bus system so I ended up on the bus (after getting on the wrong one) late at night. As anyone would be, I was very bothered when he sat so close to me. I was already freaked out but what really got my heart pounding was when he whispered that into my ear. But as it turned out, he was partially blind. A woman had gotten on with him at the same stop and he thought I was her. They both apologized for the mistake. I'm just glad he wasn't a psycho.

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Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

#21220915
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43373) - you deserved it (6539)

On 07/26/2014 at 3:39am - work - by CFPS2909 (man) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

CFPS2909's comment about their FML

Hey everyone this is the OP here for a much needed follow up. My ring actually fell off into a REJECTED batch and no harm was done except I had to wait till it came out. And yes, I wasn't supposed to be wearing it

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Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

#21220137
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27016) - you deserved it (48192)

On 07/25/2014 at 8:05am - work - by Ballsy427 (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Ballsy427's comment about their FML

I am a design engineer. My boss is good looking, but married. I apologised the next day, she said no hard feelings, pun intended. 'she's very funny'

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Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML

#21219603
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43948) - you deserved it (12303)

On 07/24/2014 at 7:24pm - love - by Kewl_Kat - United States (Vermont)

Kewl_Kat's comment about their FML

UPDATE: We cleared it up, and are currently planning a second date. Turns out she wasn't feeling well. It all ended up working out c:

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Today, the fire alarm went off at work. My office is on the second floor, and the door to the stairs were jammed shut. The only way out was jumping out the window. The best part was breaking my leg due to someone burning their lunch. FML

#21218720
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42190) - you deserved it (7733)

On 07/23/2014 at 9:34pm - health - by timv94 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

timv94's comment about their FML

I'm the only person on the second floor. We have HIGHLY explosive chemicals in the labs on the first floor. I'd rather have a broken leg than blow up and die.

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Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

#21218640
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48565) - you deserved it (4368)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm - kids - by TCRII - United States (Virginia)

TCRII's comment about their FML

He has been in summer camp the last couple of weeks. His group did an obstacle course through the woods and they had to get everyone over a 6 foot high wooden wall. Pretty sure he got it from that. No signs of infection.

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Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

#21216496
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25840) - you deserved it (42745)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:04pm - animals - by AylaMarie92 - Canada (British Columbia)

AylaMarie92's comment about their FML

OP here. I definitely threw away the toothbrush after this, and brushed my teeth with a brand new, mouse-free toothbrush for about 2 hours straight, and listerine listerine listerine o.o I keep my old toothbrushes around for such occasions when there's a hard to reach, disgusting mess to deal with such as this one XD Thanks for all your comments, I've had my tetanus shot lmao, still going to get checked out by a doctor ASAP

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Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

#21216098
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50285) - you deserved it (6146)

On 07/21/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by Pandamomma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Pandamomma's comment about their FML

hi. OP here. I said FML because I ended up having to apologize and act as if I was sincere. I failed miserably and ended up laughing hysterically. I did feel a little bad.

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Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

#21215881
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (6742)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:30am - animals - by murrrrf - United States (Missouri)

murrrrf's comment about their FML

OP Captain is pushing 25 lbs. he's a big cat. And is very violent when he's scared. Also he likes to hide in odd places. So the recling couch is his favorite fort. The rest of you, I'm
Not explaining shit. I

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Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

#21213445
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (42899)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:22pm - misc - by 2013bchan41 (man) - United States (New York)

2013bchan41's comment about their FML

Hey guys, this is the OP here, and this is actually my first FML ever :3

This actually happened to me back in September, I was on the highway on my way to school. What happened was the traffic was so bumper-to-bumper, due to a bigger accident ahead. I had my foot on the brake, so the car was stopped at the time (I wasn't driving while looking.) That's when I decided to look around and saw a lady with her eyes shut in the car next to me. I guess my foot slipped off the brake ever so slightly, because next thing I heard was a thump (the cars were so close together it happened in an instant.) Luckily we were able to pull over, and the lady didn't seem too angry at me. Neither of our bumpers were damaged too much, so I just called my dad and had her speak with him. In the end, I just paid them $600 instead of going to insurance, and my car (luckily) didn't suffer too much damage. Yes, I know it was my fault, and I've learned from my mistake, so now, even in heavy traffic, eyes on the road only!

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Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35128) - you deserved it (16404)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

LissaMccracken's comment about their FML

Wow! I must really deserve this! Haha well to clear this up, this restroom was one that had more than one stall. There were plenty of other toilets, she was just upset that the one she wanted was taken. But thanks to all the people saying really nice things!!! It means a lot!

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Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

#21211451
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40775) - you deserved it (9048)

On 07/17/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by lolateverything - United States (New Jersey)

lolateverything's comment about their FML

Hahaha I'm the OP. The comments are hilarious! :)

The post office mailbox and the library book drop aren't right next to each other. They are near each other, but far away enough to easily distinguish which one is which. One is blue and the other is grey, so my mistake is even more
pathetic LOL.

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Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

#21210678
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35755) - you deserved it (8268)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:02am - misc - by Sheh (woman) - Sweden

Sheh's comment about their FML

The bag of rice didn't have any handle, so I held it kinda resting against my torso, just like when holding my cat.
I guess it has just become a habit.

Loving all the puns :)

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