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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

#21269205
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38433) - you deserved it (5524)

On 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm - love - by EosThorn (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

EosThorn's comment about their FML

OP here. I don't know if I'm doing this correctly, but here goes.

Thank you for the encouraging comments, even the harsh ones. I'm aware of how ridiculous this sounds... Trust me. I have two good female friends who I'm sure are tired of me harping away on this. It hasn't been years of me staring at him through foggy windows, all sad. I've dated other people and so has he. It wasn't easy because truly, I love him. Circumstances just didn't allow for us to be together... Whether he wanted to or not. So, I chose to keep his friendship and not risk it. We are adults now and things have changed. It's perfect, but I feel like so much time has passed that he no longer sees me as a girl he'd want to be with now that its possible.

We have a special bond and as much as it devastates me to think he would reject me, it would kill me to see everything we have just turn into something ugly.

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Today, same as every other night, I sat in my car outside my home, just to avoid going inside. I live alone. FML

#21267816
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36736) - you deserved it (5507)

On 09/29/2014 at 6:04pm - love - by piper182 - United States (New York)

piper182's comment about their FML

Hey OP here, in my car... I work 11-12 hours 6 days a week so though I wish for a dog, I can't. I stay in the car because when I go in I have to plan for the next day. In the car it's quiet and peaceful.


Living with others was worse but I am a lonely person. I do sometimes drink a beer once I'm parked. I agree it's sad and I'm not a very social person and I hate it about myself.

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Today, I waited for over an hour in a park for a date who didn't show up. I finally left because someone came up to me and accused me of creeping on their kids. FML

#21267321
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33781) - you deserved it (2406)

On 09/28/2014 at 10:49pm - love - by mindjob -

mindjob's comment about their FML

And run I did! Well, not really, but I got out of there as fast as possible. I was too embarrassed about being stood up and being accused of watching kids to have a sharp wit and a good response. An excuse was mumbled and I got out of there! And 54, I wouldn't normally wait longer than a half hour at most, but I suppose I was pretty hopeful for this date!

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Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

#21266901
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40661) - you deserved it (3266)

On 09/28/2014 at 10:25am - misc - by Katthebamf - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Katthebamf's comment about their FML

I'm fine we were going around 25mph down a quiet road. I always wear my protective gear so no scrapes just a sore back. Yeah he did forget as I'm quite agile and move well with the bike. When he noticed he stopped and helped me back onto the back to get me home. He's been very apologetic ever since but I take it in good jest as we have a really good relationship. :) thank you for your concern though

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Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML

#21264811
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30970) - you deserved it (2849)

On 09/24/2014 at 10:33pm - misc - by TooLesbian (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

TooLesbian's comment about their FML

I am the OP for this post.

She is not my friend, just the sister of a friend (I live with both). Where I live in Australia, "queer" is still used as a derogatory word against gay people, and gay men and women are often called that by homophobes in public. She is completely straight, but thinks she is revolutionary by joining the gay rights movement as an "ally". Because she knows gay people, she assumes that she is entitled to use words we call ourselves. She knows I'm not comfortable with the word "queer" because I've had it used against me by bullies at high school, but she continues to use it because "it's an umbrella term" (although it isn't, some a word SOME LGBT people call themselves).

She isn't a homophobe, and I'm not insinuating that she is - just really annoying.

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Today, my mom threw away a bag of tiny parts belonging to a $1,700 robot. Naturally, I figured this out at midnight and had to spend 30 minutes digging through three nasty trashcans overflowing with rotten food and spiders. The bag was dripping with what looked like cheese by the time I found it. FML

#21264787
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29350) - you deserved it (2437)

On 09/24/2014 at 10:10pm - misc - by Sen728 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Sen728's comment about their FML

This is my first FML, so I'm actually really surprised that it got posted. I collect robots and the robot in question is a robotic dog called a Genibo SD which I was partially disassembling to replace its battery at the time. I had to go searching for the parts immediately since that night was trash night and if I had waited until morning, they would have been long gone. I did leave the bag sitting on a table where I had been working, but it was next to a bunch of screwdrivers so I didn't think it would be mistaken for trash (though I admit it was partially my fault for not moving the bag somewhere safer). I'm not upset with my mom, she's a great person and had no way of knowing that the parts were important. Aha, I obviously don't enjoy tearing through trash bags in the middle of the night, but it was definitely a better outcome than if the parts had been taken away by the dump truck.

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Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

#21264237
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39726) - you deserved it (3823)

On 09/24/2014 at 12:24am - intimacy - by hahaohyeahwow - United States (Michigan)

hahaohyeahwow's comment about their FML

He said he had to poop (lmfao) and did it in there. Also, he cannot do it twice in a night. He literally just passes out. Ha.

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Today, a new fire alarm system is being installed in my building. Not only does the alarm go off incessantly, but the elevators stop running when it happens. I live on the 12th floor. FML

#21263239
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138) - you deserved it (2232)

On 09/22/2014 at 5:15pm - misc - by paedra - United States (New York)

paedra's comment about their FML

Hey this is my post! They've actually been working on the fire alarm system for a few months, but this is the first time I needed to use the elevators when they were out. I needed to pee really badly so I ran up the stairs (in business attire) only for them to start working as soon as I got to my floor!

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Today, what I thought was going to be a lunch date turned into a life insurance sales pitch. FML

#21263186
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32300) - you deserved it (2800)

On 09/22/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by WhiteCaribbean (man) - Saint Lucia (Castries)

WhiteCaribbean's comment about their FML

BTW I'm straight, for anyone in the comments wondering, it was a female who pitched the life insurance. I seriously thought she was interested in me; that's why i went to meet her =S

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Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

#21262383
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32741) - you deserved it (2852)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:57am - misc - by MikaykayUnicorn (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

MikaykayUnicorn's comment about their FML

Okay, this is about to sound really dumb. But unless someone happened to have the same thing happen to them and happened to post it on FML the same day as I, I'm the OP. I'm unsure because of the fact that it says Australia and Anonymous. Hmm.
To explain things a little more: he was totally kidding. We joke around like this a lot. I wasn't offended, until I realised I haven't received an actual compliment in years. We had been talking about how his parents normally believe that he's dating any girl he speaks to, except me. I responded by saying , "Oh, so I don't look like a girl?" I wasn't fishing for compliments, in case you were wondering. (I'd also like to say thank you to anyone who commented anything like "I bet you're beautiful". Reading the comments made my day.) I just said it as a joke. He replied, "Kind of, from the right angle." It wasn't meant to offend me, but it did make my day a pretty bad when I thought about it too much. Oh well, he didn't mean any harm.
I also don't dress like a guy, and don't have a short haircut. I also wear makeup. So I don't believe I have many "manly" features.

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Today, I was hit with a sudden onset of diarrhea and had to use the washroom on the train. As soon as I pulled down my pants, my worst nightmare came true, as someone opened the door and exposed me to the other passengers. FML

#21261474
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34102) - you deserved it (4397)

On 09/19/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Bebbo - Canada (Ontario)

Bebbo's comment about their FML

Hey guys, op here, the GO train and Via Rail have washrooms. In this case the GO, this particular washroom was on the first level in front of the entrance to the train. And yes the washroom has a lock and I thought I had locked the door, even tested it. Mind you, the passenger who opened the door seemed to have put a lot of strength behind opening the door. So people beware, the go locks aren't that strong!

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Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

#21261172
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33911) - you deserved it (3471)

On 09/19/2014 at 8:52am - misc - by jewelthewat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

jewelthewat's comment about their FML

I was on a holiday to see my long distance boyfriend in the UK. We took a bus to go see a movie that evening, but a bunch of school kids had to take the bus too. Apparently this guy knew my boyfriend from when they both still attended the same high school and he thought he was funny.

We had a really weird conversation, this guy and me, but apart from weird and a little rude, he was also quite friendly and funny. The remark about my teeth was a joke too.

About my teeth, my upper jaw is a little too small so my canines are "on top" of my other teeth. It looks REALLY cool, but yeah, it's quite visible (especially when I smile, I look like a vampire). Thanks for all your comments guys, you're really sweet!

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Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

#21259755
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30959) - you deserved it (11496)

On 09/16/2014 at 11:18pm - animals - by blazon_paradox (woman) - United States (Michigan)

blazon_paradox's comment about their FML

In the area I live and work it's very possible that a stray cat will be less than healthy. And as I own two cats I also don't want to carry fleas or ticks home to them. Also, and mostly this I think, I don't want to be attacked by a rabid animal- Adorable kitten or otherwise.

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