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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27033) - you deserved it (3018)

On 05/09/2015 at 9:30pm - misc - by schober60 - United States

schober60's comment about their FML

On the bright side it didn't land between the seats..

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Today, I found out the reason why my car has smelled so bad for the past two weeks. It turns out when my sister was bringing in groceries from my car she forgot to grab the raw chicken. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28825) - you deserved it (3252)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:44pm - kids - by bkb12 - United States (Connecticut)

bkb12's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, I'm the OP of this post. I didn't notice the smell for so long because the smell had started two weeks ago and only got worse everyday. I looked at my car and couldn't find the source. I sprayed it with febreze hoping that would make it go away. I'm a teenage girl, so I don't know much about cars so I figured it was just something in the hood. When I finally found the chicken, it had been under the backseat the whole time. My sister is actually only 9. I took her shopping with me and she offered to bring in all the bags. I guess I can't blame her though, because the chicken had been hiding. I told her about it and we laughed it off. My car smells fine now. Thanks for all the comments!

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Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (2360)

On 05/07/2015 at 4:56pm - health - by flibbertigibbet (woman) - United States (California)

flibbertigibbet's comment about their FML

OP here. Just to clarify a few things, my dad started telling me about the aliens BEFORE I could even start telling him my own concerns, so the coincidence was quite funny, if sad. I decided that perhaps it wasn't actually the best time to bring up mental health.

And for those who are worried, I am already getting professional help and on medication. It simply doesn't magically fix everything the way I wish it would!

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Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28691) - you deserved it (2324)

On 05/06/2015 at 8:48pm - misc - by StargazeKitsune - United States (North Dakota)

StargazeKitsune's comment about their FML

Hey,ya'll! OP here! Of course I forgot to actually log in before I posted this, and THEN it gets published! But please believe me :)

So follow up, these bounty hunters did end up leaving me alone without actually bringing me anywhere (trust me, they would have had some claw marks if they had!) They DID pull out handcuffs, which was pretty scary, seeing as I've never even had so much as a speeding ticket on my record. T_T They asked me multiple times if I was Natalie, and if "I was sure I wasn't" after I showed them the ID that clearly says Mackenzie...I'm pretty sure, guy? Other than the purple hair, they didn't even know what the girl looked like. The only other thing they went off was that she was with a guy wearing a black hat (Thanks, Kyle!) But, at the end of this conversation, they ended up backing away with their hands up after my best friend so eloquently stated she wasn't "afraid to cut a bitch." Their only reply was "I believe you..."

I did end up calling the cops to make sure they weren't absolutely full of it. The police planned on making a patrol to the grocery store across town they mentioned their next lead was. And my friends who were working at the time weren't too happy about me getting harassed either! I found out after I posted to Facebook that one of the guys used to work for a friend and that he has gotten in trouble for pulling idiotic stunts before! Guess he shouldn't quit his day job!

You guys are all hilarious, btw!! These comments are really making me laugh. My friends say I should go as myself for Halloween next year and when people ask who I am, I'll just say "Shhh, I'm Natalie..." I really was pretty shaken up at the time, but IS a hilarious story in hindsight. Thanks for reading! :)

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Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31136) - you deserved it (3395)

On 05/06/2015 at 3:25pm - kids - by Suicidal_Divide (woman) - United States (California)

Suicidal_Divide's comment about their FML

OP here. I really didn't think this would be posted. So here is a little background on what was going on. First off, my son is 9 years old and Autistic, he is higher fuctioning but does still does repetative (and sometimes annoying) things. This does not mean I love him any less he is still my baby. He started the beeping because his grandpa came home and settled in without going in an saying Hi, so he hid under a blanket in the entry hall and announced himself by beeping loudly. While this wasn't the best way of trying to get anyones attention, it happened. While it started out cute, it did get annoying after a bit, but I also knew that he would stop as soon as he got tired of his "game". Not everyone would put up with the beeping as long as I did, but he was not hurting anything so I decided to let my son have his fun since he was not hurting anything.

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Today, the cops showed up at our door at 11 pm. Apparently, our neighbours thought I was being abused because they heard high-pitched screaming for 45 minutes straight. Little did they know our 6-month-old baby screams when she's happy. Loudly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30233) - you deserved it (2403)

On 05/05/2015 at 5:00pm - kids - by Feronia (woman) - Netherlands (Zeeland)

Feronia's comment about their FML

It's not that I'm mad at my neighbours for calling the cops, honestly I would've done the same. I'm just upset about officers barging in and handcuffing my boyfriend without explanation. They tried taking him out of the appartment, still handcuffed, still no explanation. Until I started yelling at them to let him go and tell me what the fuck was going on they wouldn't give me a second glance.
And yes, child protective services were called, and they showed up a bit later. They didn't fully believe me when I said my partner has never laid a finger on me, and they insisted on regular counseling.
So now we have a counselor for an unknown amount of time, because they can't get it into their thick skulls that babies scream sometimes. And I live in constant fear, because if our daughter so much as scratches herself or bumps her head against the table we have a chance of losing her. Granted, a small chance, but a chance none the less.

Also, our schedules are different from most people because of our job, we mostly live during the night, so it's normal for our kid to be up at 11pm. We're looking for other jobs to fix that.

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Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (5727)

On 05/05/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by fleckney26 - United Kingdom (Leicester)

fleckney26's comment about their FML

Op here, first of all, thanks for the support. Mostly. It's not actual depression, just feeling rather miserable about it all, especially as many of my friends are all in happy relationships that I see every day.
We dated for just over three months, and I guess the main reason I'm still upset is that she was my first proper girlfriend, first kiss, and at the risk of sounding a bit too pathetic, my first love.
To those saying that I should get out and find a hobby, I do. I play the French horn in and out of school, and I'm in the Air Training Corps, which takes up nearly all my free time. The only problem is, she does exactly the same, so I still see her every day and we regularly have camps together, so it's hard to avoid her.
Saying that, we are still friends, and the break up was very calm, so there are no hard feeling between us.
Anyway, sorry for the long comment, and thanks for getting this posted!

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Today, my little sister came up to me holding up my phone. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't dropped it in the toilet first. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26368) - you deserved it (2467)

On 05/04/2015 at 11:39am - kids - by _Domster_46 - United States (Michigan)

_Domster_46's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here, to answer some of your questions she is 4 years old, and I did try putting it in a bag of rice glad to say it is working now!

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Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29020) - you deserved it (4579)

On 05/02/2015 at 12:36pm - misc - by coolster5000 - Canada (Newfoundland)

coolster5000's comment about their FML

OP here, I find all of your "shitty situation" comments very unoriginal;) but funny all the same. I ended up just telling them I went in and found the toilet like that, but I'm not sure they believed me whatsoever.

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Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35091) - you deserved it (3440)

On 05/01/2015 at 7:34pm - misc - by blemarooney - Ireland (Dublin)

blemarooney's comment about their FML

Hi OP here. Thanks for all the supportive comments.

I got my mum to go in and complain to my school but they kept insisting that 'rules are rules.'

So maybe bless you secretly means the answer is C but I will certainly never bless anybody when they sneeze in the middle of an exam again.

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Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36897) - you deserved it (3294)

On 04/30/2015 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by sianydiddle -

sianydiddle's comment about their FML

OP here! Can't believe this got posted! Let me shed some light on this.

This was a few years ago now, I was with this complete turd for a year, and it's safe to say he's an ex. He used me, and made me think I was going crazy when he used to stay out for whole weekends without so much as a text, and came back with hickeys. He used to tell me it was all in my head and I stupidly believed him.

With my 'friend', she was also his brothers girlfriend. His brother was with me when we caught them. She ran out of the house and never gave us an explanation, or an apology. She just ignored us, and to be honest, that suited me fine.

With him saying he wanted to be better for me, I had no frame of reference, so that was just a load of bullshit.

Silver lining in it all, I'm now with an amazing guy who treats me perfectly. My ex is still single from that day, no woman has been stupid enough to fall for him, which he deserves cause he broke my damn heart. Me and his bro are still friends. To all saying I should've joined them? No thanks, they seemed pretty contented with each other, which is great for them :)

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Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30899) - you deserved it (6862)

On 04/30/2015 at 2:15pm - misc - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria (Steiermark)

Iwtumn's comment about their FML

Good morning!
Thank you all for finally getting one of my FMLs published!
To answer the two big questions:
1. Why did I give my number to a stranger/random person/guy/... ?
Because he doesn't really seem like a serial killer and seems to have the whole package of good humour, brains and good looks and I had the hope thay maybe one day we could meet up and make some perfect little babies (or maybe just go and have a cup of coffee together). He is also not a (complete) stranger, we sit in the same lecture and have talked with each other in the past.

2. Why don't I block him?
Because I have the hope that all of this might be a drunk joke, since I know that he went out to party last night and some of the quotes kind of imply it (or maybe I am reading too much into them, I don't know). If it isn't, I still can do it later.

I like the idea of sending him something equally annoying back, should he continue to send them, I just have to find something suitable (I'm not really sure if I am willing to sift through the FSoG books to look for some good quotes and I don't want to start the whole science vs religion discussion, maybe I'll really go with the Shakespeare play... ).

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Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (4385)

On 04/30/2015 at 2:04pm - misc - by henrylikestreats - United States (Arizona)

henrylikestreats's comment about their FML

All of these puns have me in tears, I swear. I am currently growing out my hair after cutting it all off to be donated. It has gone through every awkward stage imaginable, including the constantly-in-my-eyes stage, the is-it-long-enough-for-a-ponytail stage, and, of course, the mullet. After a few weeks of dealing with the mullet, I decided to cut it, and that is how I ended up with this mess. I have heard Shrek quotes everywhere I have gone since and I can't stop laughing at myself. Thank you for making my night, everybody.

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