Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

#21361498
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34646) - you deserved it (3461)

On 02/23/2015 at 1:49am - intimacy - by sam882 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

sam882's comment about their FML

I was completely shocked and at the same time embarrassed. I had to just walk away, completely speechless. It took a moment to register with me that i actually heard that. haha

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, after swallowing my birth control pill, I threw up all over myself. I then had to search through my puke to find my birth control pill and attempt to re-take it. FML

#21360733
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (5985)

On 02/21/2015 at 11:34pm - health - by denaeb123 - United States (Wisconsin)

denaeb123's comment about their FML

Hey, Im the OP. It is extremely important that you take the pills in order and you CANNOT skip a pill! If you do your hormones can get all wacky and if youre sexually active, you can get pregnant. You only have a set amount of pills in the pack and they dont give any extras.

See all the comments including 12 other original poster's reactions

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34283) - you deserved it (4237)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

poncho55's comment about their FML

No worries, he's okay now. :) Later on in the day, he laughed about it and thought it was pretty hilarious, which is good because I felt pretty bad about biting him.

See all the comments

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

#21360376
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (2437)

On 02/21/2015 at 1:00pm - health - by bradix1186 - Philippines (North Cotabato)

bradix1186's comment about their FML

Hello everyone. I never thought it would get published. I sort of just powered up my computer and felt I had to vent here after it happened. But it's okay though. I'm used to the bickering comments I receive. But I refuse to concede to the negative effects that come with it; I'm a happy person. To those who are sympathetic to what I have, I'm forever grateful while I also am but all sympathetic to those who are not.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

#21360115
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (2128)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:17pm - work - by besosforme - United States (California)

besosforme's comment about their FML

Actually... It was!
I'm thinking about breaking the contract with this company (after they pick up the finger- and the rest of the waste, of course). They've been nothing but unreliable and difficult to work with.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, my boyfriend commented on one of his his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, saying how smoking hot she looks and how much he wants her. His excuse was that the photo was posted before he was with me, so he's clearly doing nothing wrong. FML

#21359736
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (161) - you deserved it (2908)

On 02/20/2015 at 9:39am - love - by annie_xox (woman) - United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot)

annie_xox's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here! Believe me now, I gave him the dirtiest look and ended things there and then. He can have his "gorgeous" ex if he wants her so badly, just don't come crawling back to me, you dick!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Even after several hours I wasn't able to climax. My girlfriend now thinks that I don't like her body, and the reason I couldn't orgasm is because I don't like having sex with her. We spend the rest of the night in silence. FML

#21359646
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (5316)

On 02/20/2015 at 2:40am - intimacy - by TheFreyzy (man) - Switzerland

TheFreyzy's comment about their FML

Hello everybody, here is your Afro OP.
First I want to say thank you for all the ones who gave me helpful advise, also this happened a while ago. I wanted to see what you guys write because I felt like I am doing something wrong. Thank you guys who wasn't trying to criticise my girlfriend. She did not throw a tantrum, nor was she mad. Some of you are right, she is insecure and that makes her silent. Well let me tell you guys what happened afterwards so I can calm you all down :) We had sex again and again and let me tell you I am less nervous but I am still not able to cum xD. She understands though it has nothing to do with me disliking her body, we had a calm discussion. Thank you again for everybody who was supportive, to be honest I was shy to post my first FML and I did not expect so many people to comment! I am excited for the next post I will make. Who knows what it will be. Afro is with you all!

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

#21359482
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (2243)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm - money - by Enslaved (woman) - United States (Florida)

Enslaved's comment about their FML

OP here! First off, when I called the number, a man answered. When I told him I found a phone,(an iPhone5c for those that are curious) he told me to "fuck off" and that I had the wrong number, then hung up on me. He called the phone back a few minutes later and I could hear him yelling to what I assumed was his wife/GF in the background. He was asking her if she went out shopping? and how dare she spend his money, plus lose her phone!

I did give the phone to the manager of the department store and told the man to pick it up there tomorrow if he wants it, since the store was already closed for the night. My heart is just uneasy because I know that my call caused what seems to be an argument between the lady that owns the phone and an irate man. I could tell he was very controlling and she was very afraid of him.

See all the comments

Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML

#21359094
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27919) - you deserved it (21115)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:29am - money - by kaailin - Australia (South Australia)

kaailin's comment about their FML

Hi guys, OP here. To clarify, it wasn't a drive through ATM, I walked back to the car before the money came out. Also to those asking how I managed to do such a careless thing - I had just had a stressful day at work on the closing shift so my mind wasn't with it. I'm lucky I have a loving family that can support me until my next pay day. And I hope I just hope the money ended up in hands that needed it more than myself.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

#21358741
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (7523)

On 02/18/2015 at 10:14am - health - by Pleonasm (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Pleonasm's comment about their FML

I hold my mouse in an awkward position and my elbow floats in the air, putting the weight on the shoulder. If I play for too long, it aches.
But it started when I used a machine to work out and hurt my shoulder doing the butterfly press I think.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I went out to dinner for my mom's birthday. I'd planned for a nice restaurant which is always packed, so I'd called for a reservation. When we got there, the hostess tried to turn us down because no one ever takes their mother out to dinner anymore, and that I was a fraud. FML

#21357480
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31821) - you deserved it (1914)

On 02/16/2015 at 5:38pm - money - by jesterinperil - United States

jesterinperil's comment about their FML

OP here. We eventually got into the restaurant with our original reservations, after contacting management. My mother and I tried to not let the hostess spoil the night. The rest of the staff was wonderful and I don't think we'll be seeing much more of that hostess for a long time.

See all the comments

Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML

#21357228
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32266) - you deserved it (2469)

On 02/16/2015 at 9:22am - health - by CatLady4Lyf (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

CatLady4Lyf's comment about their FML

OP here~ Yes, she's okay, no injuries, and for those of you saying, "Get life alert" - She already HAS life alert but refuses to wear it...Her stubbornness has no limits. She would rather have her family worry and put her life in jeopardy than lose her pride and "independence". We're gonna see about in-home care so that we don't have to worry all the time. Thanks for all the support~ :) I can only hope that one day my grandmother comes to her senses, what little she has left.

See all the comments



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: