Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

#21223114
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39976) - you deserved it (2984)

On 07/28/2014 at 1:34pm - misc - by lizlala (woman) - Norway (Ostfold)

lizlala's comment about their FML

Hi! I'm the OP!
Thanks for the comments :)

The exam did actually go well, even with the distractions :P

The reason nobody said anything was probably because
1) it would be super awkward to sit through the rest of the exam
2) as soon as the test was done, you had to leave the classroom (no talking as it could distract others still taking the test) 3) Talking/laughing/moving could be seen as cheating (and nobody wants to be thrown out of a final test that can only be taken once a year)

Everyone was sending eachother "please let this stop"-looks, though XD
(The guard on the other hand, was just pretending like nothing)

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I dyed a friend's hair dark brown. She assured me I didn't need gloves as the dye would wash off. It didn't. My shift as a server is in an hour and it looks like I've been working in a tire shop my whole life. Goodbye tips, hello angry customers not wanting me anywhere near their food. FML

#21222740
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33254) - you deserved it (20116)

On 07/28/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by EliTheAdorable - United States (Texas)

EliTheAdorable's comment about their FML

All of you who gave me things to say to customers, they were hilarious!

Also, I'd like to explain a little bit. The reason she didn't have any gloves for me to wear is because the hair dye she bought didn't come in a box. It was two metal tubes of the stuff in a bag, that was it! I knew better but let her talk me into it anyway. It's definitely my fault, I take full responsibility because I've dyed hair before (mine, mainly) and I know what it can do and if she had told me about it any sooner, I would have brought my own gloves. Oh well, just another funny story to tell.

As for work, I went up to the restaurant (I don't live more than 2 miles away) showed my manager my hands and explained the situation. He laughed about and was understanding. Luckily, someone was able to cover my shift, I just needed to clean my hands ASAP!

Thank you for all of the suggestions on how to get it off! They're returning to their normal shade of porcelain white (which makes it even more obvious) but I'm definitely going to speed up the process!

Sorry for the long comment!

See all the comments

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

#21221426
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43245) - you deserved it (3057)

On 07/26/2014 at 7:40pm - misc - by SofaKingPretty - United States (California)

SofaKingPretty's comment about their FML

I'm in Cali for the summer and don't really know the bus system so I ended up on the bus (after getting on the wrong one) late at night. As anyone would be, I was very bothered when he sat so close to me. I was already freaked out but what really got my heart pounding was when he whispered that into my ear. But as it turned out, he was partially blind. A woman had gotten on with him at the same stop and he thought I was her. They both apologized for the mistake. I'm just glad he wasn't a psycho.

See all the comments

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

#21221361
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34219) - you deserved it (6041)

On 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm - money - by ChristinePi - United States (New York)

ChristinePi's comment about their FML

It was a nightmare to me because once you scratch a nonstick pan you're supposed to throw it away because underneath the coating there's a bunch of bad chemicals that increase your chances of getting cancer. I don't have the money to replace the pan and it wasn't cheap either.

Dreams aren't logical, you cannot always control how you feel in them. I know it's silly but in the dream I was very upset about my pan and I woke up distraught. Hence why I consider it a nightmare.

Funny enough, I actually did end up scratching one of my pots recently. I'm too poor to buy a new one so I am still using it. OTL

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

#21220915
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45246) - you deserved it (7011)

On 07/26/2014 at 3:39am - work - by CFPS2909 (man) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

CFPS2909's comment about their FML

Hey everyone this is the OP here for a much needed follow up. My ring actually fell off into a REJECTED batch and no harm was done except I had to wait till it came out. And yes, I wasn't supposed to be wearing it

See all the comments

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

#21220137
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27116) - you deserved it (48426)

On 07/25/2014 at 8:05am - work - by Ballsy427 (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Ballsy427's comment about their FML

I am a design engineer. My boss is good looking, but married. I apologised the next day, she said no hard feelings, pun intended. 'she's very funny'

See all the comments

Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML

#21219603
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46213) - you deserved it (13369)

On 07/24/2014 at 7:24pm - love - by Kewl_Kat - United States (Vermont)

Kewl_Kat's comment about their FML

UPDATE: We cleared it up, and are currently planning a second date. Turns out she wasn't feeling well. It all ended up working out c:

See all the comments

Today, the fire alarm went off at work. My office is on the second floor, and the door to the stairs were jammed shut. The only way out was jumping out the window. The best part was breaking my leg due to someone burning their lunch. FML

#21218720
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43664) - you deserved it (8006)

On 07/23/2014 at 9:34pm - health - by timv94 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

timv94's comment about their FML

I'm the only person on the second floor. We have HIGHLY explosive chemicals in the labs on the first floor. I'd rather have a broken leg than blow up and die.

See all the comments

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

#21218640
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48918) - you deserved it (4389)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm - kids - by TCRII - United States (Virginia)

TCRII's comment about their FML

He has been in summer camp the last couple of weeks. His group did an obstacle course through the woods and they had to get everyone over a 6 foot high wooden wall. Pretty sure he got it from that. No signs of infection.

See all the comments

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

#21216496
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (43007)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:04pm - animals - by AylaMarie92 - Canada (British Columbia)

AylaMarie92's comment about their FML

OP here. I definitely threw away the toothbrush after this, and brushed my teeth with a brand new, mouse-free toothbrush for about 2 hours straight, and listerine listerine listerine o.o I keep my old toothbrushes around for such occasions when there's a hard to reach, disgusting mess to deal with such as this one XD Thanks for all your comments, I've had my tetanus shot lmao, still going to get checked out by a doctor ASAP

See all the comments

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

#21216098
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52954) - you deserved it (6804)

On 07/21/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by Pandamomma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Pandamomma's comment about their FML

hi. OP here. I said FML because I ended up having to apologize and act as if I was sincere. I failed miserably and ended up laughing hysterically. I did feel a little bad.

See all the comments

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

#21215881
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (7312)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:30am - animals - by murrrrf - United States (Missouri)

murrrrf's comment about their FML

OP Captain is pushing 25 lbs. he's a big cat. And is very violent when he's scared. Also he likes to hide in odd places. So the recling couch is his favorite fort. The rest of you, I'm
Not explaining shit. I

See all the comments including 14 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

#21213445
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23642) - you deserved it (45000)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:22pm - misc - by 2013bchan41 (man) - United States (New York)

2013bchan41's comment about their FML

Hey guys, this is the OP here, and this is actually my first FML ever :3

This actually happened to me back in September, I was on the highway on my way to school. What happened was the traffic was so bumper-to-bumper, due to a bigger accident ahead. I had my foot on the brake, so the car was stopped at the time (I wasn't driving while looking.) That's when I decided to look around and saw a lady with her eyes shut in the car next to me. I guess my foot slipped off the brake ever so slightly, because next thing I heard was a thump (the cars were so close together it happened in an instant.) Luckily we were able to pull over, and the lady didn't seem too angry at me. Neither of our bumpers were damaged too much, so I just called my dad and had her speak with him. In the end, I just paid them $600 instead of going to insurance, and my car (luckily) didn't suffer too much damage. Yes, I know it was my fault, and I've learned from my mistake, so now, even in heavy traffic, eyes on the road only!

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: