Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (25580) - you deserved it (1975)

On 07/14/2015 at 3:44pm - love - by kerripjones - United States (New Jersey)

kerripjones's comment about their FML

Hi! OP here. Just to clarify on some things-
I met this guy in high school and the last time we spoke was in 2011 before he sent me a message less than a week ago.
My Facebook is very private, I don't automatically connect my location, and I have never posted anything to show my current location. I am currently living outside of city limits, on a hill not visible from the main road, with only four other houses, and one road to get to and leave the house. All this made it seem even more suspicious that he knew where I was.
When I frantically confronted, he tried to act like he didn't know exactly where I lived, and said "someone" showed him the general area.
I apologize for the "a" instead of "an". He had just revealed his extra creepy status when I posted this so I was still shaken up and grammar wasn't at the forefront of my mind.
Thank you to all who posted concern for my safety!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27568) - you deserved it (11093)

On 07/14/2015 at 2:42am - love - by sarahxHx - United States (California)

sarahxHx's comment about their FML

Hey it's OP. We stood there for a good 5 seconds until he realized it was actually me. He sincerely apologized and he said he hope it didn't offend me. He's a really nice guy and I'm happy to be dating him! :) We went hiking that morning. And for those saying I wear too much makeup on, I don't. I simply have super light eyebrows and eyelashes, and girls here would understand that doing your eyebrows and putting on black mascara makes a HUGE difference. For my face, I only wear a light coverage tinted moisturizer. You're all so quick to judge. SMH.

See all the comments including 8 other original poster's reactions

Today, while walking alone through a sketchy neighbourhood after a party, I learned that I look too broke to even rob and "not worth the bother". Overhead from a guy waiting for me in a bush with a flashlight and his equally charming friend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22951) - you deserved it (2221)

On 07/13/2015 at 8:30pm - misc - by ramherr - Sweden (Skane Lan)

ramherr's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here!
I must say that I'm pleasantly surprised reading all these comments! A whole lot of you got humour too good to be true. Really brightens the day!
Firstly no, I'm not complaining over not being mugged and that was not the intention of this FML, I simply think the fact that even muggers see someone as ''not worth the bother'' FML-worthy. But all and all I'd rather be seen as poor than stabbing material, all days of the week!
To those of you wondering what I was wearing, it was a black tank top, jeans and a pair of shoes, nothing special.

See all the comments

Today, I finally got up the courage to quit my first job. I spent hours determining the most professional way; the method, and the wording I would use. In the middle of the phone call, my manager hung up on me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (3438)

On 07/13/2015 at 2:22am - work - by anniemonkat (woman) - United States (Ohio)

anniemonkat's comment about their FML

OP here.
Yes, a letter would have been better, but I was scheduled for a shift that I couldn't make it to, due to having two jobs and time was of the essence. If I called off of my shift, I was afraid I would be fired. Furthermore, they would not let me find someone else to cover my shift, believe me, I tried.

The shifts would not have coincided if either place would give me a schedule. But they wouldn't.

Work was also closed, so I couldn't go in person to explain. I gave as much notice to my manager as I possibly could by calling. I had no contact information other than the store's phone number that I found online.

At the time of the phone call, I was TRYING to give my 2 weeks notice but the manager hung up before I could. Oh well.

See all the comments

Today, I woke up and texted my girlfriend, "Good morning" like I do everyday. She responded with, "I'm dating somebody else". FML


I agree, your life sucks (29844) - you deserved it (2156)

On 07/13/2015 at 12:15am - love - by Steve97 - United States (California)

Steve97's comment about their FML

Hey this is OP. I didn't know this got posted until looking at the new fml's. This happened this weekend a few days after my birthday no less. Part of it is my fault I've been working hard doing two jobs to save up enough money to hopefully move in with her someday. But this left me with barely little time to spend with her and she took it as me losing interest in her so she started dating someone else without me knowing and I didn't find out until she admitted it hours after I texted her.

I still talk to her and she does feel terrible but whatever. Thanks to everyone for the support and I'm just taking it one day at a time now.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML


I agree, your life sucks (25644) - you deserved it (3470)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:47pm - love - by GoldCyclone - United States (Iowa)

GoldCyclone's comment about their FML

To clear things up, I have been in love with her for 3 years, and we've been dating for 2 and a half. She's always seemed happy, and said that she wouldn't date someone she didn't have feelings for, which is why this came as such a shock to me.

See all the comments

Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30734) - you deserved it (3598)

On 07/11/2015 at 10:30am - intimacy - by Hollzbananza (woman) - Australia

Hollzbananza's comment about their FML

To answer some of the questions...
Firstly, it's not like I cry every day.. we have been together for almost 4 years so he's seen me cry quite a bit over time.

It's easy to notice when he's sitting in front of me or hugging me to console me. And if we're all being honest, sometimes it's just obvious that someone has a boner.

My initial reaction was to be shocked and angrily ask if he likes to see me in pain but it's kind of hilarious when I'm not actually upset and crying.

I agree that I don't think it's because he's trying to take advantage of me. Boners can have a mind of their own, and it could be an intimacy thing I guess since he's caring and always comforts me when I cry. Who knows...

Thanks for the laughs, I enjoyed reading the comments :)

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, my dog brought me a a dead rabbit. It so happened to be the rabbit a group of neighborhood kids were looking for after they lost it yesterday. I just had to hide a body for my dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26562) - you deserved it (2351)

On 07/11/2015 at 8:09am - animals - by savannahsboxxx (woman) - United States

savannahsboxxx's comment about their FML

I love my phone any who they came out and said she'll have to pass a test or she'll have to go on a dangerous dog list. I personally will know she'll pass but it's not like I trained her to kill there rabbit it was animal instant. It happened in my yard while she was on a tie out. so it's there fault for not being responsible with there rabbit.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I got a nose piercing. I was asleep at the time in my backyard, and the piercer was a snake. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27238) - you deserved it (2826)

On 07/11/2015 at 3:56am - animals - by CoalRose - United States

CoalRose's comment about their FML

Hey guys! OP here. Wasn't expecting this to post, so this was a pleasant surprise! Just made an account to give the follow up. :) The weather was really nice so I had decided to go out in the back to read and get some sun. Somewhere between reading and laying down I fell asleep. I'm not sure what really happened, but I'm assuming I startled it with a snore or batted at it in my sleep, because the next think I knew I woke up with searing pain in my nose and staring face to face with a snake. I'm fine, luckily, as the snake was just your household garden/garter snake! Unfortunately the piercing, bite, whatever you would like to call it is too off center to wear. :( But yeah! All your comments & puns have been his hilarious so far.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I received a break-up text while in a cramped car with my whole family. I had to choke back tears as we got stuck in traffic with the radio playing one love song after another. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30731) - you deserved it (2274)

On 07/10/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by ThatOneChick856 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

ThatOneChick856's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here!
I think I should point out that my girlfriend and I were in a half-long-distance relationship (same college but we live so far away from each other outside of the school year), so face-to-face wasn't exactly an option at the time. Though, I still would've appreciated a Skype/phone call over a text.
But I was more upset that she told me what she thought of our relationship at such an inopportune time (I couldn't really let myself look upset so I had to hold it in), not to mention it was pretty unexpected (we saw our relationship going in different directions apparently). So I was pretty crushed when I opened the message.
Oh, and for those wondering, my family knows NOTHING about my love life, so they had no clue about me having a girlfriend in the first place. That's the main reason why I didn't mention it.
Luckily, we're now talking it out and we'll hopefully come to a mutual decision that will make us both happy in the long run. So no, I don't hate her or think she's an awful person simply for going about it the way she initially did.
Thanks for the support, everyone. :)

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I finally hooked up with my longtime crush. I told all my friends about it, because of course I was really excited. Until later that night, when he texted me, telling me not to tell anyone what had happened, and that it was a one time deal. Oh, and right after that, he asked me for nudes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31343) - you deserved it (5279)

On 07/10/2015 at 1:24am - intimacy - by roxieee234 - United States

roxieee234's comment about their FML

I'm OP and just to clarify we were on a date so I wasn't expecting it to just be a hookup and the entire evening he had been talking about a potential relationship. I was quite vulnerable at this point and very into him so, obviously, I would've done anything he asked. of course in the end he didn't really want a relationship. and the reason I decided to tell my friends was because, as I said, he had been talking about a future for us and I believed him and I was excited thinking there would be more than just one night between us. turned out I was wrong. but also, no, I'm not a fuckgirl, just gullible.

See all the comments

Today, I went by myself to do a birthday party in a park, dressed as Elsa from Frozen. Everything was going fine until another Elsa and an Anna showed up to a nearby party. The kids then decided I was a fake and pulled my wig off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26621) - you deserved it (2470)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:08pm - work - by princessrose - United States (Kansas)

princessrose's comment about their FML

Hi. I'm so excited this got posted. This actually happened a couple months ago. It was my first time as Elsa. And my first time alone. Unfortunately the new wig we had ordered was not very good. (The old one was unusable) and the kids at the party were already doubtful. But when the other Elsa showed up with Anna the kids decided I was the fake one and started pulling at me. They didn't pull it all the way off but we're able to tell it was a wig. However the parents were totally understanding and helped me out. Saying I we were else's helpers just like Santa :) in the end I even got tipped. Its a story I tell people now as it is something that would only happen to me. (I have bad luck)
Also To those saying I shouldn't do Elsa. I couldn't say no to the party as Elsa. I get paid $50 an hour. Would you say no to that?

See all the comments

Today, I was at work at a supermarket straightening shelves in the food aisles. Just as I had finished and got ready to clock out, I heard a giant crash. A lady in a motor scooter knocked over an entire aisle of canned goods. She got up and walked away just fine, pretending nothing happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (1698)

On 07/09/2015 at 12:32am - work - by acidonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

acidonymous's comment about their FML

this is literally my first FML ever made, let alone published!!! This was really surprising to wake up to. But to elaborate a little bit more, yes i did have to stay and clean it up, but i did get paid to do it. The lady in the motor scooter did not make any purchases and walked out of the store right after it happened (walking perfectly fine), probably to avoid conflict. So no one got the chance to talk to her. luckily i had no immediate plans after work other than sleep!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: