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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I saw my sister after three days away. When I went to get in the car with her, she told me I had to sit in the back, because her teddy rides in front now. She was serious. I've already been replaced by a stuffed bear. FML

#21012941
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35612) - you deserved it (3773)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:18pm - misc - by SabriLittleRed (woman) - United States (California)

SabriLittleRed's comment about their FML

Heyy guys, I'm the OP, & no, I didn't do anything to her first.
The bear was a gift from her bf.
I thought she was joking at first, & was kinda surprised & hurt she actually made me sit in the back. I enjoyed all your puns; they were ”beary” funny, lol. Happy New Years Everyone!! :D

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Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML

#21010666
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42069) - you deserved it (3838)

On 12/30/2013 at 5:28pm - kids - by AnnoyedSister - United States (Virginia)

AnnoyedSister's comment about their FML

Hi everybody! OC here. I guess I didn't put enough details in my FML as I could:
So I'll tell you all the WHOLE story.

Blake is 17 years old. Yes he is a convict currently on parol. I cannot remember exactly WHAT he did, but I believe it was either Breaking and Entering or he stole a car. I'm not positively sure.
Also: I could not get off the eyelash glue with warm water or make up remover because her eyelashes were going inward towards her eye and frankly, my daughter wouldn't stay still long enough for me to even try.
To all the commenters who said "Keep an eye on your daughter." Nice pun. But she is twelve years old so I'm pretty sure even if I tried to pay attention she'd say something along the lines of "Go away mom!" Or "What do you want?!" So yeah.
Blake also does NOT flirt with my daughter (thank goodness) and they've only met once, when they moved in. The funny thing is, he can't even get her name right. Her name is Violet, but he insists on calling her Veronica. So, no marriage plans yet! Yay!

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Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

#21010537
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (9158)

On 12/30/2013 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by thejanamonster - United States (Alabama)

thejanamonster's comment about their FML

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. The nude was taken and sent to an ex that I thought I could trust before I had even met my boyfriend. The "friend" got it from a friend of his that supplies nudes of girls from the city I moved from. The reason I had no idea who the guy was is because he moved to a different state before I met my boyfriend, but they've been friends for a really long time. My boyfriend took it relatively well and things are perfectly fine between us. Hope this clears up some questions I've seen.

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Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML

#21010339
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37460) - you deserved it (2714)

On 12/30/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Caimimi (woman) - United States (Texas)

Caimimi's comment about their FML

Hey OP here.
I hadn't been up all that long and our dog started barking at something so I went to check it out. I open the door and there she is cutting all of my calla lily stems! I was incredibly baffled that she would just walk up onto the porch and do that. What I said to her was "Uhm.. Those are my flowers.." (such mean and rude fighting words!) She then took off like a bat out of hell while knocking off the plant pot onto the concrete below. (I think knocking it over was purely accidental but it still doesn't excuse what she was doing.)
I got dressed and went next door to ask what the heck that was all about and she "informed" me that I must have mistaken her for someone else. After a few minutes of arguing I gave up and came back to clean up the mess. I figured I would just not worry about it, certainly nothing worth involving the law.
On the plus side, about noon there was a knock on my door and a slightly larger, new plant pot was sitting on my porch with no one around. (I wonder who left it.. Hmmmm...)
The actual act of picking the flowers doesn't bug me too terribly seeing as my niece picks the flowers almost every time one blooms. It is the lack of honesty that caused the issue for me.

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Today, I realized there is nothing quite like having your mother be too hungover to open presents on Christmas morning. FML

#21004741
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34357) - you deserved it (2492)

On 12/25/2013 at 10:33am - misc - by sydstreet - United States (Texas)

sydstreet's comment about their FML

My mother is an alcoholic who refuses help. She gets drunk and violent so I'll try not to sue her over that! thanks pal I feel so much better!!!!

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Today, my new neighbors moved in. They have a chihuahua that constantly barks all throughout the day. It makes a great addition to my other neighbors that have a rooster that goes off at sunrise every morning. FML

#21004433
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35341) - you deserved it (2593)

On 12/25/2013 at 1:22am - animals - by WeiXinLun - United States (California)

WeiXinLun's comment about their FML

OP here! this actual happened a while ago, but the principle is still the same. the neighbors with the chihuahua, they occasionally yell at the dog to shut up. for the most part, they do nothing. it's not too loud to legally make a noise complaint, but loud enough to be an awful annoyance. as for the ones with the rooster, they don't even speak English. they're from Hong Kong, so they only speak Cantonese, which i don't speak. and i live in the middle of suburbia, so the rooster is very illegal. a 1000$ fine, i believe, if reported. the rooster usually gets really loud around 10, so it sometimes wakes me up, sometimes not. the chihuahua is pretty much 24/7. any more suggestions are more than welcome though, thanks!

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Today, my mother gave me a Christmas present for the first time in 15 years: a dog. Her 16-year-old, untrained, mean dog who wears diapers. FML

#21004159
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37016) - you deserved it (2618)

On 12/24/2013 at 9:57pm - animals - by Eri_Midori (woman) - United States (California)

Eri_Midori's comment about their FML

Hi guys, Op here! Wasn't expecting this to get posted so that's a pretty nice side to my situation :D
I enjoyed reading you guy's comments, and to some of you trying to defend the dog (Peanut) you have nothing to fear. I have been put in a position where I had to take care of Peanut every now and then, but only for a day or two while my mother was feeling un-responsible. So I know for sure that Peanut really is a handful. I mean, she needs attention 24/7, has to have her diaper changed (which is really gross!) at least 5 times a day, bites most people who try to touch her, smells pretty bad no matter how many baths I give her, and enjoys spreading her scent all over my apartment! I understand that Peanut is nearing her end in the next year or two, plus I feel bad that she hasn't had a stable home all her life which explains her bad behavior. I've also been a vegetarian since I was 6, and was the president of my high school's Animal Rights Club back in the day, so I don't plan on getting rid of Peanut or ending her life early.
The reason why my mother "gave me" peanut is because she is going through her mid life crisis and wants to travel the world without any obligations, like an elderly dog she adopted a year ago. My mother has always been flaky and unable to keep her word, and I'd normally understand since she really has nothing to lose. She isn't married (divorced my father when I was in 1st grade), hates her job, plus both me and my brother have already moved out and graduated from college. I know she didn't dump Peanut on my brother since he couldn't care less about the life of an animal, I just wished she could have tried to find someone else (or not have used Peanut as a lousy excuse of a Christmas gift since she knows I've conversed to Agnosticism) judging my current conditions. At this moment I recently got married to my Japanese hubby originally from Osaka Japan. I work as a language teacher which is quite flexible location wise, plus me and my husband are both still in our early 20's, so we were hoping to travel a lot and even move to Japan as soon as possible. However it's very hard to get a large pet like Peanut from America to Japan so that may be impossible. Not to mention my husband is slightly allergic to animals that shed! To top it all off we also have a non-shedding, dog hating cat in our apartment building that just so happens to NOT ALLOW DOGS. With all this in mind I don't really understand why my mother chose me as her new doggie's mama.
I talked to my husband who knows how "nutty" my mother can be and he was completely understanding. He apparently spoke with our landlord this afternoon who is also a very nice man and agreed we can keep Peanut for now, as long as she doesn't bark or disturb our neighbors. We also looked up that if we keep giving Peanut plenty of baths then her fur shouldn't bother my husband too much, after all she needs it too. Yuck! As for our cat, she's still young. So she just needs to learn to play nice with Peanut for a little while. Then maybe we'll get another cat after Peanut passes on to even things out a bit. For now we've got things all settled, it's just a little upsetting since I've been working so hard these past couple of years learning Japanese so that I could eventually move there with my husband, and now that we're finally ready to go it's not too great having an obstacle keeping us from going for now. We'll go as soon as we can though =) Sorry for this super long comment, and thanks for all of your advice!
Happy holidays!
-Eri

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Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

#21003856
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38536) - you deserved it (5682)

On 12/24/2013 at 4:46pm - misc - by infinitegrace (woman) - United States

infinitegrace's comment about their FML

Hey! Let me start off by saying I'm a 5 foot tall girl and I'm not exactly frightening. Therefore it's not like me getting out of the car would have helped. And to those who said I should have drove off, I was in the passenger seat waiting on my mom so I couldn't exactly do that. And it happened so quickly too. I didn't recognize the guy and by the time I knew what had happened it was too late. Just another idiot trying to make trouble.

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Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

#21003248
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33422) - you deserved it (8097)

On 12/24/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by MymB612 (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

MymB612's comment about their FML

I didn't realize I wasn't signed in when I posted that one. It's cool that got published!

I love making handmade gifts, I think it's so much more personal and intimate to make something for someone that you know they'll appreciate. And by the way, to the meanies, I am indeed broke right now but that wasn't why I made handmade presents (I was very comfortable financially last year and made homemade stuff anyway, it's about the time and effort I choose to put into them, not their monetary value).

Also, I am not trying to push my views on anyone, except maybe the belief that the more time and effort you put into something, the more it's worth. I'm an atheist lesbian by the way, and I still spent a month making gifts for a holiday I don't even believe in for my mostly uber-religious homophobic family, just because I know it would make them happy. So don't tell me about pushing my views on anyone, I respect their freedom of opinion just as I expect them to respect mine (not an easy feat in Lebanon, but I digress).
Also, no, I am not making them home-made manure or a frame with some stickers on. I made them balms and lotions, personalized to their needs. Odorless moisturizing cream for my pregnant cousin. Natural heating pad for my grandma with arthiritis. Shaving cream for my uncle who has super sensitive skin. Foot scrub for my brother who spends his work hours on his feet. Healing balm for cuts and burns for my cousin who spends his weekends camping and hiking. Stuff like that.

About my mom, the reason she gave me that ill-worded comment is because last year I had knitted a hat for my grandma, which turned out to be too small for her head (I had miscalculated), and also I had made a scented cooling pad that leaked a few days later, so she insisted that had I bought store-bought items there would be no problem. Yeah, she's like that. But hey, I understand this particular holiday is supposed to be about forgiveness, is it not? So I dealt with her as follows: I made her a gift anyway (Topical pain-relief cream for her sore muscles, she had a surgery last year and the muscles on her back hurt in the cold) but I didn't put it under the tree with the rest of the presents. She seemed so vexed and saddened. I went and talked to her and told her that I chose not to give her a present, since she doesn't appreciate the time and thought I put into them (and money, materials, hello). She apologized for her comment and said I was right and she was being mean because she had a very tough day and lashed out at me. Then she told me my presents for everyone were awesome, and I gave her hers. Made her doubly smile!

So, all is well that ends well I suppose. I made sure she knew that she hurt my feelings, and got aknowledgment and an apology. What more can I ask for?

Wow this post turned out huge, sorry for the eyesore :P

Thank for the hilarious comments and warm support. Made me glad to feel that people still remember what they are celebrating, and appreciate the thought behind gifts more than their monetary value.

Oh and for the couple of Lebanese peeps I saw in the comments, yen3ad 3laykon w 3a 3yelkon bel kheir :)

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Today, I found out about my co-workers' new game. Whoever talks to me first loses. FML

#21003209
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37164) - you deserved it (3032)

On 12/24/2013 at 1:09am - work - by pompomkiwi - United States (Oregon)

pompomkiwi's comment about their FML

ha thanks for all the comments, I never thought that it would actually be published. To all those comments asking what I did, they were all mad because I was the only one who got a Christmas bonus, and this was only because I had way more hours put in then the rest of them. And too the comment who said I should try to get them to loose I'm gonna do that!

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Today, after finals, my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long, he took away points because my opinions did not match his. FML

#20998811
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40545) - you deserved it (3323)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by opinionsarestill (woman) - United States (California)

opinionsarestill's comment about their FML

HI! I appreciate sympathy. I wasn't expecting it, but it makes me feel a bit better. Thank you. XD

It is (was) a college level English course (the last one I had to take for my GE requirements). I really did try hard in that class. I would ask him very specific questions and he would provide vague answers. His opinion on the material was never explicitly clear (considering every assignment we did was based upon a different work or subject). I'm not displeased about getting a B, it's just frustrating to be left so close to the next grade!

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Today, my husband and I were arguing about him not communicating anymore. Instead of talking to me about it, he messages my mom to say, "I'm not mentally strong enough to handle her anymore." FML

#20996890
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37861) - you deserved it (5056)

On 12/18/2013 at 11:44am - love - by Iloverainbows10 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Iloverainbows10's comment about their FML

He wasnt always like this. Used to listen and talk. Now hands are just being thrown up in the air. Says he doesnt know how to handle fights.

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Today, I found a job after two years of searching. I excitedly called my best friend to tell her the good news. She decided break her own news about how she quit yet another good paying job and found an even better one within hours. FML

#20995780
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39378) - you deserved it (3726)

On 12/17/2013 at 12:28pm - work - by MzZombicidal (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

MzZombicidal's comment about their FML

This actually happened a couple months ago, but I'm currently very happy with my new job (I work as a sales associate for my local grocery store, if you're wondering). I WAS very happy for my friend but I couldn't help but to be irritated at her luck of continuously quitting and finding jobs with ease (She works with elderly people).
I had been near the breaking point when I finally got the job. My best friend, however, has continuously quit jobs and gotten new ones in no time. We obviously work in different fields and, even though I seemed jealous, I was very happy to hear she was able to land on her feet after quitting her job.
We joke about it now and she apologized if she seemed rude and all is fine. :) I love the people I work with and am getting good pay. Win win!
We're both happy with our current positions and things couldn't be better!

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