Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40875) - you deserved it (3013)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Carebeareatu's comment about their FML

op here. I don't know why they did. I dont want to know why they did.

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

#20879710
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50991) - you deserved it (3030)

On 09/13/2013 at 3:02pm - love - by Amsterdamned13 - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Amsterdamned13's comment about their FML

To everyone: she told me in a funny way after seeing the phone. He is an EX now, and for now most deff no contact with her. Thanks for kind and also unkind words. Gr from Amsterdam

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

#20879472
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40646) - you deserved it (7491)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:49am - money - by Kaka_Karrot_Kake - United States (Texas)

Kaka_Karrot_Kake's comment about their FML

Ok to clear things up, I was walking home and he asked for money. He looked, and even SMELLED like a homeless person. Sure enough, I gave him money and all of a sudden he got up and started walking and I saw him take out an iPhone 5 and call his friend. I heard him say, "Lol dude it worked!" Sorry I wrote so much ._. And no he was NOT really homeless

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

#20878116
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49471) - you deserved it (3382)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:47am - misc - by baxeh - Sweden (Skane Lan)

baxeh's comment about their FML

Well, it's not the most dashing sweater, and i know it's an easy mistake to make. No point in getting upset over nothing really. Just felt like the moment belonged on this site, i'm glad the FML got posted, and thank you for all your comments!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52853) - you deserved it (2735)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Iskylite's comment about their FML

the doctor said it could've lived inside me for 30 years. I'm glad they got it out :) and yes I'm feeling much better :)

See all the comments including 6 other original poster's reactions

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

#20874135
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (2947)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:30am - animals - by StefanKa - Poland (Mazowieckie)

StefanKa's comment about their FML

OP here, I know that and I let them out all the time but I just didnt expect to find shit between the wall and the cage, where none of them can enter.

See all the comments

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

#20872474
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49126) - you deserved it (3658)

On 09/08/2013 at 1:56am - misc - by vrossie_ - United States

vrossie_'s comment about their FML

Yea it was clever. I shared it to my Biology class and they all laughed.

See all the comments including 10 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was prank called yet again by someone asking for a game that was released over 10 years ago. The store I work at only sells modern titles, and I angrily slammed the phone down. My boss saw and fired me on the spot. FML

#20872359
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23862) - you deserved it (32756)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:22am - work - by rashpimplezitz - United States (California)

rashpimplezitz's comment about their FML

Hi everyone, OP here.

The game they were asking for, was, yes, Battletoads. Just another prank call. Many of you assume that the guy on the other end could have called me legitimately asking for the game, but really, it was the same person each and every time. They were just trying to be a jerk. Hell, you could hear their friends laughing in the background of the call.

Yes, I understand that it isn't right to behave like this in the workplace, but I was a bit stressed out (girlfriend breaking up with me, etc.) and I didn't really feel great that day. After some explaining to the boss about the whole Battletoads prank call phenomenon, I was rehired and just took a 3 day suspension. I promise you all that I will not behave in such a way ever again, and thank you all for your wonderful comments.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

#20870052
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42862) - you deserved it (2874)

On 09/06/2013 at 10:12am - work - by tdawgg - Canada (Alberta)

tdawgg's comment about their FML

We sell electrical wire by the foot, she may have a more handy family member at home that need it, but she did come back an hour later and got 50 feet... I think her computers in the middle of her backyard. :P. sad thing is, we deal with these kinds of requests ever day... Retail sucks!!

See all the comments

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

#20867980
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36350) - you deserved it (6818)

On 09/04/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by Python22 (man) - United States (Texas)

Python22's comment about their FML

OP here, for update 1 of a few. Basically, like #52 said, I believe that is the case. It's not so bad I can't go out in public (and for fat people they aren't big at all), but if they were on a average chicks body, they would be massive. As for my trunk, yeah.... I'm 5'-10, so it evens out.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

#20867208
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41699) - you deserved it (2579)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Palindromesque - United States (Washington)

Palindromesque's comment about their FML

Hi all, OP here! I'm crying with laughter-you all are hilarious, seriously!

To respond to some questions-I discovered my roommate's predilection for silverware and kitchen implements when I poked my head into her room to tell her something and saw an open drawer with a good collection of my utensils. She was actually quite forthcoming, and explained in jaw-dropping detail some uses for a number of them.

We've agreed that she can go ahead and keep what she's "used," and that she'll replace the implements now and in future...no cross contamination, she promises.

Overall, I'm glad she's sensually creative, so I don't feel the need to resort to hot sauce or splinters! I just fear for the next time she's browsing in the kitchen-I may not be able to scramble eggs for breakfast.

See all the comments

Today, I started my new internship at a vet clinic. By the end of the day I had: been peed on, scratched, forced to stuff a dead dog into a plastic bag, thrown up and almost passed out. I need to rethink my future career. FML

#20867167
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31915) - you deserved it (7801)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:30am - animals - by VetStudent - United States (Colorado)

VetStudent's comment about their FML

Ha! I can't believe this actually got posted!! I had just gotten home from my internship and wanted to vent anonymously. How funny.

It is overwhelming, but I'm going to stick it out. I've learned my lesson: do not go in sick or with a full stomach.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I got my wedding photos back from my sister, a "professional" photographer who offered to do our wedding as a gift. It turns out that not only did she not catch most of the ceremony or reception, but all of the outdoor photos feature a large garbage bag in the background. FML

#20867164
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31882) - you deserved it (4469)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Dreamcatcher1229 (woman) - United States (California)

Dreamcatcher1229's comment about their FML

That's fair. The back story is that I said yes to her offer because her other work is actually quite good. Her other wedding photos for previous instances looked beautiful, and that's how I assumed mine would turn out. I take responsibility, my husband and I shouldn't have assumed anything. I found out after the wedding that she doesn't like him much to begin with, soooooo I guess putting two and two together I can reasonably say that her distaste has something to do with the shotty and neglectful work.

To answer a previous question here, forgive me for not answering the asker directly, the shots we ened up with for the ceremony itself were one of the first kiss, one of our intro as a married couple, and several blurred shots of mostly the audience with a hint of ceremony at the background. She did get my brother walking me down, but not of the beidesmaids and groomsmen. And mind you, she and I DID discuss in advance what events and who in the party we wanted pictured, as well as my request to catch as much of the reception as possible. We had a lot of friends and family travel from far away, and I had asked for more pictures of everyone together, mingling, and enjoying themselves.

And thank you to whomever suggested we retouch some of the pictures, we've actually been working on that project and it's going well so far.

So all in all I'd like to say that while I was disappointed in the outcome and the sad realization that my sister and I don't have the best of relationships, My husband and I are happy regardless and, thanks to other guests, still ended up with some good pictures. Also, a friend filmed the ceremony itself from beginning to end, so we're going to try to get some stills from that.

This is a good lesson in perspective, I guess. Yeah, the situation ended in an FML for one particular detail, albeit an important one, but hey, at least my husband didn't bail out at the altar, or I didn't throw up or something. :-P

Okay, sorry for that novel. lol Carry on!

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: