Submit your FML story
- - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
- - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
FML, the follow-up
Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.
Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML
BadGoldDigger's comment about their FML
OP here! The below is going to be pretty tl;dr, so I apologize! :P
This has been an ongoing issue ever since we started the house buying process, though I'm pretty sure she has never really like me . I guess she didn't feel threatened until my fiance and I were going to have something legally tying us together.
Aaaaand the reason why I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me is because I'm Asian(well, half, so I guess I'm not white enough for her...?) She made a comment when my fiance and I tried dating in high school and broke up about being glad she's not going to have any Asian grand babies.
ANYWAYS. He came home from his parents' house pissed as usual because both his parents are super negative. Fortunately, his dad seems to like me, but picks at everything my fiance does. His mom kept asking him questions like, "Are you really happy with her?" "Does she make you happy?" She had asked him where I was at and he told her I was out with friends and she had the audacity to suggest I was cheating on him. Her reasoning, "your dad and I don't see our friends very often." Never mind the fact that my fiance hangs out with his friends until 2AM just about every Saturday night doing nerd things. But I'm not allowed to have friends, apparently. She even took his sarcasm seriously when he told her he was going to have to buy me a nice sink for the kitchen. It has been like that every time he goes to see them(he doesn't wonder why I don't want to go over there) so it has gotten to the point he is going to basically tell them to (nicely) fuck off or he's going to stop visiting until they can play nice.
Irony is, his grandma from his dad's side used to treat his mom like dirt for the longest time. So unless it's a family tradition, you would think she would understand.
Good thing for my fiance is that both my parents adore him and are really supportive of the both of us. I know it's because they both came from families that had a hard time accepting the other.
See all the comments
Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML
witchybaby89's comment about their FML
To answer a lot of questions, I'm a truck stop waitress not a prostitute or stripper. He's a truck driver who has been a faithful customer for two years and has been handsy before but never to this extent. I took the money to my manager and they're looking over video of the parking lot and my restaurant.
See all the comments
Today, at work, I dropped two bottles of wine on the floor. Unbelievably, they both didn't break. That, however, did not stop my boss from taking a few points away on my evaluation. My $3 raise is now reduced to $0.25. FML
A1NoSauce's comment about their FML
Just a follow up on what happened. Yesterday, about 2 weeks after the initial incident my regional manager came in.
After explaining the situation and having them check my records(tardiness, productivity, etc.), he also was flabbergasted as to how I wasn't able to get the raise I deserved.
He then dragged my boss off into his office to have a very stern conversation with my boss, he then announced to the whole staff that my boss would no longer be working at our store, and we'd have a new one transferring in very soon.
I was overjoyed.
But, not as much as when my RM pulled me off to the side again and told me that instead of getting the regular $3 raise, they'd triple it instead. I got a raise of about $10 which still keeps a bright smile on my face even while I write this.
Thank you for all the comments! Although, I'm not sure why most of you thought I was female. :p
See all the comments
Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML
WellThatWasRude's comment about their FML
Hi guys, OP here. Thank you for all your comments and concerns about what happened. Regarding some previous comments, I would like to clarify a couple of things.
My uncle has some mental health issues. I am not exactly sure what he has, but my parents tell me that he is on different types of medication.
Also, my family was in the room when the comment was made. My mom shook her head in shame, but other than that, nothing else was said.
This did not happen recently. It actually happened back in December 2014. I barely see my uncle, too.
My dad apologized to me later for his inappropriate behavior. We all collectively decided to let it go because of his mental health state. I feel kind of bad because he most likely has no ulterior motives, but it was still a very uncomfortable situation, and my stomach still turns a little when I think about it.
But thank you all again! And sorry for the super long comment.
See all the comments
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
roadie42's comment about their FML
Hey, OP here! The vet was worried that he might have a concussion, so they gave him shots to prevent/reduce any swelling. I think he also received a sedative for the x-ray.
Anyway, he's doing just fine now...back to his normal happy self. And he got some turkey in the end for his trouble :)
See all the comments
Today, I felt pretty. As I deal with a severe anxiety and depression, I was proud of myself. All until a little girl asked: "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML
hellpop's comment about their FML
Hey, OP here! c
I just wanted to quickly clarify, I did not expect this to be published I was having a pretty bad day and out of needing to vent so I posted the most recent event. I am a cis female, not transgender. However I have polycystic ovarian disorder and I deal with hair growing in places such as my face which is why I believe the girl asked as I hadn't shaved that day...
For me, the testosterone I have really effects my confidence so this did knock me back a little bit but thankfully I have very supportive friends and wonderful boyfriend who tell me not to worry so much. c:
Thank you for all the positive feedback and comments, it really helps.
See all the comments
Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML
Hyenayena's comment about their FML
I tried explaining that, but she said that "if you were meant to go to college, your life would lead to it naturally. Your life has led you to be part of the working class, see?"
So pretty much: if I'm not a rich person, I better not even think about going to college.
See all the comments including 6 other original poster's reactions
Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML
VeganVampyre's comment about their FML
Hey everyone, OP here :)
Just to clear a few things up, she is a street kitten that I just rescued about a week ago, and she had been attacked and beaten up by other cats quite a few times when she was out on the streets, so I'm thinking this lovely new behaviour is either a) she feels safer having me "protect" her while she eats, or b) she's just realized it's really nice to have company nearby and she's taking advantage since she was always alone before. I'm sure she will grow out of it as she gets more comfortable and used to being here :)
To the people saying I should control her food better- I feed her twice a day, but she prefers to graze rather finish it all at once. And since this is the healthier eating habit, I will not force her to change to a less healthy eating habit. To the people telling me to ignore her- can't do it. I'm so thrilled that she actually trusts me, and I feel so bad that she was on her own for so long that I can't bring myself to ignore her for any reason just yet.
To all the other YDI comments- I rescued a gorgeous, friendly little kitty from a probably short and horrible life on the streets, being attacked by other cats, and in return I got a lovely cuddly companion. Do I deserve that? Absolutely. :)
See all the comments including 13 other original poster's reactions
Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML
danceinconverse's comment about their FML
Wow, the range of comments had me laughing to making a disgusted face. Thanks to everyone who was supportive but no need to worry! I'll explain things further but this will be long.
And to people saying "woah I do the same thing!", you most likely have OCD, but DO NOT SELF DIAGNOSE, ask your doctor about it before you prance around calling yourself mentally ill.
For me, I've always done little sort of tensing my muscles and making both sides feel the same games with myself ever since I can remember, especially in the car. It didn't become a problem until high school, when I started doing finger things to each hand to calm myself down, and it escalated into something actually slightly debilitating.
But anyways, so I also unfortunately have anxiety and depression to mix with my OCD, so I've never came out and said to most of my friends I have any of these things, or many people at all. I hate the "Oh just be happy and you'll feel better!" Comments so I tend to not bring it up unless necessary. (Think: having a permanent broken leg, and when people realize, the "advice" they give you is to walk on it and you should be fine).
But anyway, in their defence they just thought I was being silly, I do have a lot of quirks so I don't blame them. If they hadve known it was causing me legitimate panic, they of course would have stopped, but I'm very good at covering up my negative feelings. It did give me a panic attack i had silently in the washroom the first time the original friend figured it out (lightly smacking my arm to get my attention and seeing what looked like me immediately covering the other one in pain, as if the opposite one they actually hit hurt. I would definitely find that funny too). They all had a go at poking my arm to see me poke the other one, and eventually seeing if it worked on other areas of my body. I was laughing along so they had no reason to assume it was genuinely distressing me, even though it was just my panicked (anxiety induced) "aw shit they figured it out I don't want them to know I'm even weirder, I'll just play it off" response.
But the next time they saw me they had forgotten it all together almost, and now they only do it occasionally in a weird "insulting your friend to let them know you love them" kind of way. Those times I can genuinely laugh at. I'm all for making fun of myself and I get that it's pretty funny, and also it kind of helps me in a weird way.
But if the level it was at the first time hadve continued after the first time, i 100% would have explained to them why it's not ok, and I can guarantee they never would've done it again. And advice to anyone who is dealing with something similar where it does genuinely bother them, really, let the people know. If they patronize you for it, they are strait up dick nuggets, don't take their crap.
Sorry for the novel but hope i cleared some things up!
See all the comments including 7 other original poster's reactions
Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML
WolfAvenge's comment about their FML
I actually do have his number! We go to film school together but haven't hung out much. We were at a shoot for a fashion show. I totally plan on talking with him more, maybe asking to go out on a date soon too ;)
Since I joined the film club we will be seeing a lot of each other from now on anyway. I just want to hang out with him more first though, but I'm definitely interested if he still is XD
See all the comments
Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML
Paws_Cat's comment about their FML
I like how everyone assumes that I was playing Grand Theft Auto. I wasn't. Also, this got published fast! I was expecting it to be a day or something!
See all the comments including another original poster's reaction