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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

#21383435
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (2520)

On 03/29/2015 at 4:54am - animals - by ihatecoldfeet (woman) - United States (Montana)

ihatecoldfeet's comment about their FML

hey op here, wow the things city people don't understand! First off, each and every calf must be vaccinated or they could become Ill.Second I wasn't in front of the calf, the person holding the calf let go of it unexpectedly

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Today, I discovered that when my mom can't sleep, she comes into my room and reads my text messages. FML

#21382626
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30873) - you deserved it (3087)

On 03/27/2015 at 8:23pm - misc - by ironwoman23 - United States (Illinois)

ironwoman23's comment about their FML

I do have a password! She makes me give it to her. Now I know why.. And to those asking I found out by waking up to her next to me on my phone, then quickly running out of my room

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Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML

#21382256
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (7349)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:38am - work - by xorenae - United States (California)

xorenae's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here! I understand there is a difference between casual and business casual. When I asked my friend what I should wear I was told "dress casual, wear what you're wearing now." Since we were hanging out, it was jeans and a blouse. My friend thought it would be funny to play a joke on me. Regardless I still got the job! But in the future I will definitely dress nicer for all interviews!

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Today, I stopped by my local bar to maybe meet some new people. I sat in between two groups. Within a minute both groups got up and left. FML

#21382238
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (2687)

On 03/27/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by elizacandle (woman) - United States

elizacandle's comment about their FML

OP Here ...well to a lot of you, Thanks for your sympathy! This was supposed to be an emphasis on how hard it is to talk to people in the real world! This actually happened and u sat at a spot that was empty, I didn't squeeze anywhere. it was likely coincidental but it did feel lonely when the half of the seating area became empty at once. gets lonely pretty quick.

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Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

#21381868
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31041) - you deserved it (2816)

On 03/26/2015 at 1:44pm - love - by cherokeems (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

cherokeems's comment about their FML

OKAY! I'M SO GLAD THIS GOT POSTED.

okay. i am female but i don't care if i get called a guy. she isn't on pills or anything but she has thyroid cancer and Schizophrenia and i know she can't help that. i love her to pieces and she is my world and she is just all around amazing. but she has these moods sometimes. I'm not going to run because she's only done it once and i love her. but it worried me because she has Schizophrenia like i said and honestly i don't know if she would really do it or not. i told some of my friends and they agree on the emotional blackmail thing but i just think it may have been one of her moods...but still though. and i am not planning on breaking up with her. but I'm not the person to say i will be with you forever. i mean anytime in the future we could break up and i don't want to break things off with her and have her off herself. her parents know about her issues but they just don't care really as far as i know. and it also scares me that she said that because it made me feel like i HAVE to stay in that relationship and it made me feel trapped. And i don't like feeling trapped in a relationship. if i don't like a situation I'm in i will do whatever it takes to change it and that includes breaking their heart but at the same time i hate to do it because i know heartbreak. and i honestly i love her, i really do. but she can be VERY depressing at times and as an Empath i need good vibes. Negative ones bring me down. And I'm also starting to fall for someone else too....but i like them because they have a more livelier and healthier vibe/attitude the majority of the time.... i don't want to believe that it's manipulation but a part of me thinks it could be headed that way....i just don't know what to make of this. anyways i think that covered all of your comments but if something isn't clear just comment and i will reply whenever!

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Today, I was talking about an essay I'd written for a class that was due to be turned in online days ago. I thought mine was well written and I'd even finished it a couple of days early so I wouldn't forget about it. After a few minutes of talking and feeling proud, I realized that I forgot to turn it in. FML

#21381740
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26535) - you deserved it (8487)

On 03/26/2015 at 5:53am - work - by Akoni - United States (California)

Akoni's comment about their FML

I don't know if this will show up as an OP blue comment since I've never done this, but yes. I'm the OP haha. So yeah I finished the paper before it was due but I didn't turn it in because I wanted to read it over again the next day just in case. Little did I know I would forget about it completely. (I was busy studying for a bio test and quiz all weekend) I finally realized I didn't turn it in about 4 days after it was due online. I talked to my prof. and he said it should be okay. Keyword "should." He hasn't graded it yet so I don't know if he took points off. Anyways, yes I deserved it haha.

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Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

#21381706
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30786) - you deserved it (3652)

On 03/26/2015 at 2:58am - love - by Anasztaizia - United States (Minnesota)

Anasztaizia's comment about their FML

OP here! #51, you are both correct and incorrect. It IS actually his place, but he bought it off his parents. TL;DR: when they decided it was time to downsize, he bought their house off them, but they haven't moved out yet. The mentality of it still being their house, their rules (which I agree is sensible) hasn't quite left their heads yet.

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Today, I was startled by my roommate marching a drunk man out of our apartment. Somehow he found his way in complete darkness into the bathroom without alerting me or my dog next to the only door. He mistook the clothes hamper for the toilet. FML

#21379064
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (2691)

On 03/21/2015 at 6:29pm - misc - by Nexpecto (man) - United States

Nexpecto's comment about their FML

This is the most spot on reply haha! The scariest part of this whole ordeal is that I was awake but had my eyes closed and still didn't hear a drunk intruder come in.

I'm a tetraplegic meaning that I have little use of my arms and none in my legs. I have my bed in the living room so that I still have things to do at night since I am bed bound. Because of my lack of independence, I have caregivers that come in daily to help with my needs.

My roommate left the door unlocked around midnight so that he would not have to get up to let my caregiver in on Saturday morning. The last thing we were expecting was a drunk man urinating in the bathroom at 3:15 AM! My dog Bella makes the sweetest pit bull but worst guard because of how friendly she is. As frustrating as it it, we still love her.

This was definitely the luckiest I've been in a long time and the last time the door is unlocked at night. If I had been completely alone that night there would have been absolutely no way for me to get his drunk ass out. Thankfully it was just a wasted man looking for a toilet instead of a crack head looking to get his next fix

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Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

#21378669
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (2876)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:38pm - work - by ironfey - United States (Virginia)

ironfey's comment about their FML

Oh geez. Umm hi. OP here c: so I should probably mention that it was about 10-15 minutes until closing time, and that we aren't allowed to close the gates until 5 til. First only like 5 came in, and we're like okay let's do this. We got this. And then another one came in. And another. And another. Not only that, but some of our bosses family came in, so we had to serve them FOR FREE. I didn't get to clock out until 30 minutes after, and I would've had to stay even later if it wasn't for the fact that I'm 16 and that child labor laws exist. And I should also mention that I have nothing against cheerleaders, I've known cheerleaders and dancers that are the most down to earth people in the entire world, but these girls were the type that ask for the meat to be heated separate, for us to pack the vegetables separately, ask for sauce on the side, etc. It was ridiculous. But thank you all for your comments, and anyone else out there working retail: You're a damn trooper, kudos to you c;

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Today, I got a call from the ICU. Apparently, my boyfriend has been there for 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even my parents have been to see him. FML

#21378357
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31751) - you deserved it (5098)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:40am - health - by quietecho95 - United States (Colorado)

quietecho95's comment about their FML

This is the OP. Actually I had a baby a few months ago with him. We don't live together and it's common for him to disappear for days at a time. He's okay. It was actually a suicide attempt and he's in a clinic now. We were texting but he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to freak out because this makes 6 attempts in a year. My parents didn't tell me because they were leaving town and knew there was no way I could take my infant into ICU.

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Today, I sent my father a text asking when he was finally coming to meet his 4-month-old granddaughter. His response? "I forgot." He forgot he has a granddaughter. FML

#21376999
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (349) - you deserved it (2697)

On 03/18/2015 at 9:16am - kids - by Feronia (woman) - Netherlands (Zeeland)

Feronia's comment about their FML

I'm the OP. He is most definitely not suffering from any disease that could impair his memory, and even if he did, his girlfriend could have reminded him. He is suffering from being an immense asshole. He never was much of a father to me, but he bawled like a baby when he got the news about my pregnancy, visited me in the hospital where I was waiting for the last 1.5 months before going into labor and I expected him to become a bit more involved. To the people saying maybe the family is too big: I am his only daughter, this is his first grandchild. He has no nieces, no nephews and no young cousins. So it's impossible to drown in babynews in my family.

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Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23422) - you deserved it (15921)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria

Iwtumn's comment about their FML

Good morning! This is my FML (though I wasn't logged in when posting, because I wasn't sure if I wanted that much stupidity associated with my profile. But I guess I should clear a few things up, so here I am).

This happened a few years ago at a trip to the UK that I took after graduating from high school. Me and my friend were staying together in a tiny apartment and decided quite spontaneously to go to that party, so some improvisation costume wise was needed.
I've wanted red hair for as long as I can remember and when we found some red spray-in-dye at Boots I decided that this was the perfect opportunity to try it (because in case it looked horrible at least I'd never have to see the people again). My hair is quite thick and dark blond and the hairspray was bad, so when sprayed in, even though we used a lot of it, it was barely noticeable (which was a bummer, because in addition to giving me red hair it was supposed to glow in the dark... Which it didn't do) and over the course of the night I simply forgot about it.
The party was great, I met some really nice people that I am still in contact with and will revisit this year and we had a pretty good time. When we got back home at around 7 in the morning I was more than just a bit tired, but wanted to get rid of the icky post-party-feeling, so I hopped in the shower.
And I guess this was when the dye decided to unleash its real power.
Now, I am relatively clumsy in general, but my pain treshold is quite high, so it has happened in the past that I hurt myself without noticing it (a few examples: when I was 15 I somehow managed to get a nosebleed while out for a run and only noticed it when some other people told me that my face was bloody, same with a small shred of glass that I got stuck in my foot at the pool, two years ago I cut my finger while doing the dishes and continued until I saw blood smears on some plates, after which I had to go to the hospital, ...), add to that the fact that I get sick at the sight of blood and my exhaustion (I had been up for about 24 hours when this happened and even before that didn't get a lot of sleep) and I think it is - kind of - understandable why I freaked out (though in retrospect it was still rather idiotic). I called my friend into the bathroom because she was getting ready for bed in the next room (sorry I didn't elaborate in the FML, 300 letters are less than you might think). She took one look at me and then burst into uncontrollable laughter before she explained what was going on and I calmed down. After that I finished my shower, got into bed and slept through the whole day.
The rest of our trip was pretty fantastic, though to this day my friend still jokes about that night.

Btw, I wasn't drinking, as I was trying to start the next part of my life with a healthier life style... Don't ask me how going out until the morning fits into that but at that time it seemed to make sense.

Now thank you for reading my novel!

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Today, while working at McDonald's, a guy asked me to deep fry his salad. FML

#21376328
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28799) - you deserved it (3051)

On 03/17/2015 at 11:38am - work - by spicybasement - Canada (Alberta)

spicybasement's comment about their FML

I said I'll check with my manager and she looked at me like I had 3 heads. We didn't end up making it but he had 4 orders of crispy chicken patties instead.

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