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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

#21088813
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50821) - you deserved it (4726)

On 03/17/2014 at 4:05am - intimacy - by HanBroman (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

HanBroman's comment about their FML

Op here, I know the doctors right. It's something I'd suspected for a while but I guess I was in denial. before it happens it feels nice, like I'm getting really close and then BAM all the pleasure stops and is replaced by frustration and sensitivity until i have to ask him to stop because it's so unpleasant. (I've tried pushing on and eventually it goes numb) and this is predominantly from clitoral stimulation. internally i feel even less. I've tried everything. vibrators, special lube, oral (which I actually hate), all kinds of things. I have an extremely supportive boyfriend who is willing to try absolutely anything but nothing helps and it's been a year since we became sexually active. it's become very hard for me to get turned on now since I find there's nothing to look forward to about sexual activity.

See all the comments including 23 other original poster's reactions

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

#21088502
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57185) - you deserved it (3481)

On 03/16/2014 at 9:40pm - love - by naesha (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

naesha's comment about their FML

hey guys. Thanks for the positive comments. I guess she dididn't didn't realize I was his wife. Ib had twin a month ago and I brought them to the office. Here is when she sit down and decided to play with the boys. She went on to tell me about the affair & that shit is expecting. as for what I done I got up and left. I'm currently packing as I type.

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Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

#21086889
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (19950)

On 03/14/2014 at 10:43pm - animals - by KennyJF7 - United States (Texas)

KennyJF7's comment about their FML

I'm the OP, and the bunny was in a patch of grass oddly taller than the rest, and I didn't know it was there until I backed up because I thought I hit a tennis ball for my dog.

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Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

#21086741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37257) - you deserved it (4867)

On 03/14/2014 at 6:59pm - misc - by sh3lbst3r (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

sh3lbst3r's comment about their FML

The only reason they could hear it was because my apartment has pretty thin walls and I was doing dishes, watching it on my laptop beside me. The volume was cranked so I could hear it and of course that suuuuper long scene with Little Finger and the two girls came on -_- They were good about the whole thing and laughed it off and I promised to turn it down.

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Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML

#21086617
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41315) - you deserved it (7179)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:07pm - love - by DarthVerona (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

DarthVerona's comment about their FML

Ok, OP here. The first woman I asked did not even attempt to size me, just sent me to the 'plus' section. When I got to the plus section, she did not size me either, but looked me up and down and asked me what size t-shirt I wear. I usually wear a medium when I wear stretchy tees, large when I don't. She told me they will not have anything in my size in white ever. I should not go other places, either, I should just call and that way I don't have to be disappointed everywhere I go. Thank you guys for your words of encouragement, but I think I'm just going to not get a dress.

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Today, we finally moved into our new home, which my husband and I got mostly so our kids could have fun in the spacious backyard. The moment they stepped into the backyard, they were terrorized by the neighbor's dogs, and now refuse to go outside. FML

#21085720
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40110) - you deserved it (4626)

On 03/13/2014 at 2:26pm - kids - by cassie611 (woman) - United States (Texas)

cassie611's comment about their FML

OP here, set things straight, our Realtor told us they had SMALL dogs, these are not little animals as she claimed them to be. Yes we do have a fence, I would not have taken it lightly if the dogs were in our yard scaring them. My kids are 2 & 1 so the loud barking and jumping on the fence does scare them. I do plan on talking to the neighbor but my 1 year old is scared of dogs period so introducing them will not help. I plan on talking to the neighbors and seeing if maybe an hour or so a day when my kids go outside if they can bring the dogs in. I hope a compromise can be made..

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Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

#21084640
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47664) - you deserved it (10926)

On 03/12/2014 at 3:44am - intimacy - by tayymeds (woman) - United States (California)

tayymeds's comment about their FML

So yes, I agree that I completely deserve it because I won't be blunt with him. I just don't want him to get insecure about it, like he has with other intimate things. I drop hints by not showing response when he starts to act like I'm a chew toy, but it doesn't work. I have however, brought up the idea of watching movies with him, he's agreed to it, so maybe I'll lightly drop the bomb there....
But all in all, he's a great man and an exceptional lover--just not with that one bit of foreplay.
Thanks for the laughs and opinions!

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Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41715) - you deserved it (8326)

On 03/09/2014 at 11:07pm - misc - by SpilledWater93 (man) - Ireland (Wicklow)

SpilledWater93's comment about their FML

To those of you who are American, please stop apologising and feeling bad, I actually found that lady and her friends quite amusing so they made my day. And what's more the story got published on here, that's more exciting than a pot of gold any day

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Today, I awoke to the sound of a gunshot, followed by children screaming. I leapt out of bed and ran to my balcony, only to see people casually milling around the elementary school parking lot under a "Science Fair" banner. A kid's science experiment scared me shitless. FML

#21080638
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34879) - you deserved it (4039)

On 03/07/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by gracehi (woman) - United States (Florida)

gracehi's comment about their FML

Thank you, but I wasn't brave. There's a tall picket fence and some trees obscuring the view of my apartment from the school. I can only see the school parking lot because I'm on the second story. The only reason someone would be able to see me from there would be if they were looking for me. I would have been quite safe, even if there had been any real danger. If there really was some lunatic shooting up the school, at the very least I would have called the cops. I'd like to think I would also grab my gun, head over there, and try to shoot the mother fucker myself, but you never really know what you'll do in a situation like that until it happens.

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Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

#21080173
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37289) - you deserved it (4910)

On 03/06/2014 at 11:24pm - kids - by xtinasky1 - United States (Washington)

xtinasky1's comment about their FML

Apparently mommy can't go to the bathroom, because that's where I was for a whole 2 minutes while he did it.

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Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

#21079170
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (49715)

On 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by Catuser - United States (Virginia)

Catuser's comment about their FML

This is the follow up:
My teacher did laugh it off but sternly told me to never do it again or I will be suspended from her class. Thanks for publishing my first FML!

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Today, I was excited to see a spider skittering across my bathroom floor, because this one was real and not a hallucination. FML

#21079116
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37162) - you deserved it (6313)

On 03/05/2014 at 8:59pm - misc - by Silver_Jet - Canada (Ontario)

Silver_Jet's comment about their FML

Op here. Got an account to commentnt on this. No I am not on drugs. I know this spider is real because I killed it and I am not sure if I have schizophrenia.

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Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

#21078911
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43712) - you deserved it (3807)

On 03/05/2014 at 4:47pm - money - by v1k1rox (woman) - United States (California)

v1k1rox's comment about their FML

This is the second time someone tried to rob me well living in NYC you know things like that happen. I didn't notice until after she pushed me that something was fishy. She tried to go into my bag first then into my pocket when she discovered there was nothing in my bag. She failed, I wish she didn't run away so I can get her arrested.

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